Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?

The only thing my dolls (I don't have any ABJDs yet but I do have other dolls) might compensate for is that since I want to be taken seriously by my professors and eventually in my career I can't go around looking like every day is Halloween. That and I'm too lazy to be dressing up every day. At least my dolls can wear elaborate outfits for weeks at a time. If I did that it would be unhygenic so for me it is all about clothes I can just throw on and go.

 

No, I don't feel that my dolls compensate for other things for me. However, I've had others assume that that was the case for me. You know what they say about people who assume...

 

Well... They can wear lots of shoes, and I can not since I need to wear orthopedic shoes. I love buying shoes for them. But that is about the only thing I can come up with.

 

The one thing I feel that my dolls might be compensating for is my lack of a child. I took obsessive "care" of baby dolls when I was younger, and BJDs are sort of like a more mature version of that... Most of my dolls aren't baby-looking but they're more baby sized and I often carry them around like such...

 

I dont need to compensate something with my doll. I´m happy with me and my life. Only he can wear clothes all day, that I´m not aloud to wear. We have a dresscode at work, and this makes me so damne looks like everybody else. And I hate that. Okay he can wear most clothes, for I´m already to old. :-)

 

Do you feel that you 'and/or' others around you are using ABJD's to compensate for something you don't have IRL?


For me is not something I don't have, but is for something I didn't have. When I was little I always wanted a doll to play with dress up and that sort of things. But I never had one because Boys weren't supposed to play with dolls. So instead I play with cars and boy things.

But know that I am a grown up I finally will be able to fulfill my dream when was a child. I will buy my 1st BJD soon and then I will be able to play and dress up without anybody telling me not to. I know is sounds kind of pathetic but is something I will love doing

 

A bit similar to Linthuim but with the difference that I think I want to make a happy little child doll and "play out" the childhood that I didnt really have thanks to not being accepted AND having a somewhat non existing relationship with my father (he was home all the time but he rather not have me around...) and a mother who wasnt around as she was the one who needed to work in order to support our family.
Not sure what else it would be? As I am not at all interested in male dolls... I LOVE tiny's that represent children... And to my own suprise I didnt want a Vampire when I found out there were more dolls then just the regular ones, even tho I love vampires.
I changed a whole deal since my childhood and interaction with others isnt a problem anymore. But it has been a problem troughout my whole childhood and puberty (thanks to some negative experiences next to the problems I had as a child)
Otherwise I can't think of what it could be... I was thinking (as I have wanted a doll for so many years prior to finally buying one now) that it might be because I really wanted a daughter. But I have a daughter now (shes 3) so...thats not it either!
Or maybe its all nonsense and I just have an overflow of creativity which I am trying to express trough my Doll... hmm...(thinking out loud here :P)
Conclusion:
I think its a mix!
A mix between the compensating for my youth and a need to expres my creativity in this form as well as drawing, painting, modelling and all other things I do. I remmember wanting a doll like this since forever...Barbies (childhood) came close but werent IT. Porceline dolls (young adult) came close but werent IT either. So I have been searching for something like these dolls for a long time (and after finding them have been battling myself for a long time over if I should spend that much money...turned 38 this October and bought my first one 2 weeksafter that!)
Lovely how things fit together dont you think?

 

For me, my dolls compensate for my sense of style. I am overweight, but I am not ashamed of my body at all. I actually love myself the way I am. But unfortunately, I cannot find or wear some the same cute clothes that someone of a smaller body status could. I do have some adorable clothes, don't get me wrong- I love to wear my floral dress with lace leggings and a nice pair of boots. But I sometimes find myself wanting things for myself that I know I would never fit in. So I like to buy clothes for my dolls that are similar to the style I wear and would like to wear. I don't really think it's a big compensation though.

 

BJDs don't really 'compensate' for something so much as give me an outlet for my creativity. I like knitting, crocheting, sewing, embroidering, painting, designing characters, etc., and BJDs give me an outlet for all that energy that isn't as time-consuming as making stuff for full-size humans (as a grad student my time is at a premium). Also, I'm somewhat self-conscious, so I'd feel insecure cosplaying/dressing up in weird, elaborate, fantasy clothes, but dolls can do that easily.

 

I just need to respond to this.
I, for one, have a phobia of babies. Not just the thoughts of having my own but rather any baby. So the point of compensating for not having children is definitely out! I actually find it quite disturbing when people say things like that D:

To me, the doll compensates for a person whom I can be myself around and make up for the gap that I realised my family will never be able to fill up. I can be myself around my doll without someone saying things like "we like you for whom you are so you don't need to pretend to be whom you are not" without realising that what they assume to be me is who I am not and what they call a pretense is who I really am. While I do know that the doll actually doesn't understand, I appreciate the fact that it at least doesn't misunderstand me.

 

Yeah they do in my life . Having dolls to me is like having friends. It's hard for me to make real friends so the dolls are their for me and I'll be there for them, like if they need help with a wig or something it's cool ^.^.

 

My husband has 1 doll, 1 on the way, and I'm ordering one this week.

I suppose for some people it may compensate for something. For example, those that are less than the ideal girl, that can't dress like a model may like to have a doll they can dress like one instead... or those that have great art skill (perhaps some) just love how good they feel when people compliment their face ups and customizations.

For me, however, I don't think they compensate for anything. I think they are beautiful and fun to pose. I don't see much appeal in the guy dolls (mainly because 95% of them I confuse for girl dolls at first glimpse, hehe) Mother nature was very kind with me, chest aside (lol). I just like the cute and simultaneously delicate faces that are amazing for photography They are so fun to dress and photograph

I also have a handful or so of LPS petite blythes, they are so cute with their big heads and eyes... and not so pose-able... but still fun to photograph and they make such a cute display behind glass (protected from my toddler)

 

Yes

For getting a boy doll: He embodies a classic Victorian / Edwardian look about him which I can not simply wear in modern society.

For geting a girl doll: She embodies a classic and sometimes sweet lolita style (which I am unable to achieve myself).. and I find myself very much attracted to a number of girl dolls with a lolita look about them.

Basically, I find that my dolls are a way I can create the clothing I want, but cannot wear myself (male or female clothes)

 

I'm a femme bloke myself, and it's nice to have other small, femme boys around the house!

...Oh my god, that came out sounding so much worse than I intended it. What I mean is that they're like me in some ways, and that's comforting.

No wait, that just makes it sound weirder.

Let's try again: my ABJD don't so much as "make up for something" that I lack in life, as reflect it in a small, easily-manageable (and cuter!) way. They can sit there and be fabulous and glitzy without worry or trouble, whereas I have to wear suits to work. They can be like me all the time, when I sometimes have to put on a show of not being like that. I outsource my femme, if you will.

If that makes any sense whatsoever. I just woke up.

 

Absolutely. My doll compensates for the fact I don't have my own miniature human to pose and sew clothes for and meet all of my aesthetic demands.

Sarcasm aside, having a doll is much better than a tiny human slave. At least my doll doesn't need feeding.

...and I don't have to tell her to shut up.

 

Sure.
I draw, but i've never really been able to draw certain characters the way I really imagine.
A doll might not be exactly what I have in mind, but they can get really close.
So having a more "correct version" of them IRL would be quite nice.

 

- I'm not going to have children of flesh and blood for a couple of years yet. I'm not collecting the family I want in the future, but my dolls are still my children. And why not enjoy all the good things I can now - giving them names, buying clothes, talking to them, being proud of them - and let all the pooing and crying wait? I wouldn't say I'm compensating real children, but something like that until I get them.


- When I was about 14-15, I wanted a boyfriend just like my doll now. Now I'm 26, in a happy relationship, but I never had that 16-year-old, skinny, long-haired, beautiful boyfriend. Now I have my Johnny, he's my son and not my boyfriend, but that doesn't disturb me - he's still the 16-year-old, skinny, long-haired, beautiful boy playing his guitar and reading Tolkien. And left-handed and brown-eyed like my first real crush, omg...

- I have wanted a perfect body since I was a teenager - and been big-bellied but normal, over 60 kg since I was 12, never underweight, always dreaming to be. Now, very soon I'll finally have the perfect body, she's ready for face-up and shipping! I made her a "room" with lots and lots of sweets, lovely clothes and a big mirror. Yes, she'll compensate something.

Definitely: yes!

 

My dolls compensate for my lack of style. I wear plain black clothing, and my dolls wear stuff I couldn't be bothered buying for myself. I hate clothes shopping for myself, but love it for my dolls.

 

What a lovely post and thought, I'll be thinking about this later. I have to say I disagree in regards to my own doll that it doesnt impacts me in appearance or confidence mentally, but I understand where this repaint artist is coming from. As an artist myself, drawing art DOES make me feel more confident and happier.

 

Do you feel that you 'and/or' others around you are using ABJD's to compensate for something you don't have IRL?
I'm a lonely person and I feel that every time I try to talk to someone they yell at me or disagree with me or just plain don't want me around. I use my doll to keep me company and keep my mind off the world.
It doesn't matter what's happened during the day if I have Gabriel with me I'm never alone and the best part, He doesn't talk back to disagree with me or say anything hateful. All that I have to do is care for him and I feel that he loves me forever.