Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?

No, I think they're a creative outlet, and that creativity adds to an already full life. I also think fantasy is a healthy part of self-expression, not an indication that something is wrong or missing.

 

I completely believe that bjds are owned to compensate for something, because in a way everything is!
But bjds do specifically act as compensation for my self. I do not have the figure I need to show off the out fits I would love to make, thus the dolls. The "ideal image" of a person in my mind is next to impossible to achieve, however my dolls fill that requirement with there unrealistic proportions.
I often joke around saying things like "I dress my dolls because I would look ugly in this." And people do get offended. But do fasion designers walk the runway? No, they have models to do it for them and I have dolls hehe.
There are a lot of people who love children, but don't actually want any of their own so they get a pet. Dolls can fill this need too. I sounds odd but really it's not.

 

Jaida is a bit of who I'd like to be. She's cute and skinny and acts like a pin-up girl. If I had the build (I certainly don't) I would do the same. I want to be retro and cute but I only pull off the retro part and even that is hard because finding retro clothes in my size is tiring. On the other hand, finding things for her is easy. So Jaida gets to play out my part, mostly. My other dolls have come from characters I had in my head who I wanted to see more real. I can touch them and sit with them now. It's neat.

 

Yes, probably. I'm either transgender or bigender, and if I had a choice of what I would be naturally without having to have painful, expensive surgery that would probably look horrifically wrong on me, I'd happily be a man. And either kind of man my dolls are: either a masculine, muscular, tall one, or a slender, willowy, effeminate one. I don't think I like being a woman, and maybe that's why I never buy female dolls. But the female dolls I have considered buying have these raw, masculine personalities that I wish I could have but don't. Like maybe a sexy girl with short, spiky hair, tattoos, a motorcycle, and a handgun. Or even a stunning beauty with money and power that causes men to tremble at her feet. In reality I'm just a short, shy girl with no spine or sex appeal. God, who wouldn't want to be attractive? XD

 

Yes, actually very much so.
As long as I can remember, I've always wished to be beautiful. My whole life long I have felt that beauty is the key to happiness. That sounds way more shallow than it actually is, it's merely something that has been poured into me since I could walk, and even though I've overcome to be absolutely manic about it, sometimes I still think that way.

You see, I'm not born looking like Grace Kelly. I'm female and of boyish looks, not very graceful and overall very plain.
To give you an image, this is me.
However, owning BJDs feels like I'm partaking in the 'beautiful' world and my dolls are a big reason why I managed to accept my own looks a lot better than I used to. I spend much more money on my dolls clothing than I do on my own, haha. They practically get all what I've always wanted.

There's also another aspect, but that's a tad too private for me to share.
Let's just say, I compensate a lot.

 

I think it's sad how some people respond so viciously to questions like this. The threads in this section are for "deeper" topics regarding the BJD hobby, if "deep" doesn't interest you, I very sweetly, kindly, with a cherry on top ask that you go post someplace that interests you These forums are supposed to be a FUN place to harbor friendship, am I right? So let's spread love, not sarcastic jabs. Now I sound like a total flower child, hehe. Moving on...

I can't speak with much authority on this as I am still waiting for my first doll, but I do have her character in my mind, and I think that there is some kind of compensation going on. I'm engaged, and for while my fiance and I have felt a strong pull towards parenthood. We aren't in a good spot in life right now to be seriously planning, but I still feel a tug on my heart to have a sweet little girl (or guy) to pamper and love. I think that's what draws me to the more childlike BJDs, and why my future doll's character is that of a sweet and adventurous four year old. I'm not saying that I plan on treating my doll like my child-- that's just too far. She's just an inanimate toy, after all. It just gives me something to focus on and be happy with instead of yearning for a child I can't yet have.

In conclusion, I definitely think that with any kind of make-believe, there is a degree of compensation, and that compensation is not strictly appearance or persona oriented, either-- as illustrated by my story.

 

Fin Raziel *hugs*

um, that photo of yourself that you shared is absolutely beautiful. i don't know what your standards are but you're very pretty to me, and probably to most people. but i understand how you feel. ^__^

thank you for that first paragraph of yours. my thoughts exactly.

and i agree, i feel the same way. not about having a child, but because "playing" with dolls is usually a fantasy-oriented activity. at least in some ways. i'm not sure what exactly i'm compensating for, but it must be something. because i'm not totally content sitting in silence with myself like a zen monk, needing nothing to do, and no creative outlet. i always feel a need for some sort of fantasy in my life because it makes me happy in some way.

 

A little bit about me first, just to set the stage for my actual answer to the question at hand. I like people, generally speaking, but I do not enjoy being around them. If I have some specific reason to be spending time with someone (working on something, discussing a mutually significant topic, etc.) then fine, but aside from that I just get absolutely nothing from socializing. When I am not at work I am 98% of the time going to be in my room. It is in here that I feel alive and happy. This is where the dolls come in.

My dolls are not so much compensating for something as being something in and of themselves. Each doll is a shell that my mind has given a soul, a personality. I feel so comfortable around them in a way that I never am with people. I am not lonely, and I don't really want to be with people, so they aren't really compensating for something since it's something I don't want in the first place. I probably come across as unpleasant and anti-social, but it's not the case, really. I just seem to connect to inanimate things moreso than people. Maybe I'm a bit autistic or something. Who knows.

EDITED for grammar and spelling.

 

Well, I say yes and no..
As a child I did not play with dolls at all. I played with boys and wanted just animal figures(mostly horses) to play with.
Since I did not have any girlfriends who would have wanted to play with dolls I did not have any dolls. In that sence I am kind of compensating and trying to find out "the lost girl inside of me".
Also I have a vivid imagination and I am trying allways to see the beaty and fantasy in life. The upsidedown mirror of the three branch in a water droplet or an unseen reality overlapping the trivial reality of everyday urban life. So my dolls are fantasy creatures or have unnormal features. I like to add all the fantasy into my life and dolls are part in that. I that then compensating, I don't know for sure... I can't have hoofs or wings for myself so my dolls can and I will make them have all I can't but would like to..

 

I don't know if "compensate" is the right word, or perhaps the word I'd like to use. I enjoy these dolls as works of art, as art I can build off of, and as something pretty to enjoy. For those who are enjoying moments of inner-childhood with dolls, I don't find that compensation at all. Enjoying the hobby is fulfilling a desire, and for some, there are therapeutic benefits tagged along with it, however deeply they run.

 

Well, yes.
My doll's character lives in the 19th Century, and wears old fashioned clothes among other things.
(My doll's story involves time travelling so she wears both modern and old fashion)

I love 18th and 19th Century clothing and while I use corsets and bustle skirts on occasions, it is not the same, because I never lived and experienced that time.
I think I compensate for that with my doll.

(My next doll will be a fae or fairy person. I wonder what I'm compensating there xD)

 

Deeper reason: I'm kinda with Ivory on this one. I've never been a pretty girl and I guess having dolls that are so timelessly beautiful kinda of makes me feel better? They can wear things I'd never dream of wearing as well. So I guess it's like, I may not be beautiful but my ladies are and so I have beautiful in my life that way..ugh I don't know how to explain it without sounding stupid but there you go.

Sillier reason: A smaller part of owning BJDs is that when me and my older sister were little, we'd always divide our dolls so that i get all the boys and one girl and she gets all the girls and one guy. the one time i tried to have it more even, she refused to play with me until we did it the usual way (my sister was a huge wart lmao). so now with BJDs, i can have as many girls as i want.

 

Yes. On several counts. I have never felt beautiful. People have told me I am,but I don't feel it,so that's one of the reasons I enjoy beautiful dolls..because they are what I don't feel I am and I want a piece of that.

I enjoy fantasy dolls..because I feel like this world kind of sucks..for lack of a better explanation..Fantastic magic fantasy worlds have always appealed to me..I guess in a way sort of escapism. I always wanted to be Alice,or Dorothy,or Sara from Labyrinth and find some magical exciting place. I have always loved Fairies,unicorns,princess's and anything like that.

Also,I dont make friends easily,I am socially awkward and not good at relationships..I am a definite loner. Sometimes I reach out of my box and do social things with friends on rare occasion,but I always end up back in the box..eventually. So the dolls give me a sense of company(so does my cat)..even though I know they aren't the same as a live human being. My friends joke that I am a magician,and my best act is the disappearing act..LOL cause I will disappear for 6 months or more sometimes. Fortunately my husband and I have alot of the same friends,so he can entertain them when "I need to be alone".

And they also make up for a childhood I never had..which I wont get into because its personal.

So yes,I fit alot of aspects of this question.

I LOVE dolls,I always have,and I always will.

-kitten

 

I wish I had a doll so I could compensate for the fact that I do not have any dolls. Hee hee! Well, if I had some dolls, I don't think I'd be compensating for anything really... Except for the fact you can change their eye and hair color in a snap, and that's a little more complicated with us human-peoples- I don't like the idea of dying my hair or wearing contacts. How fun it would be to change your colors as you felt like it! Also, you can take their heads off and stuff. That would be a fun trick to be able to do to scare the neighbors.

Short answer: Not especially, but this is a neat question!

 

For me; absolutely. I have collected all kinds of dolls all my life; truly, I don't really know why. I do know that right now I am facing some difficult challenges. My BJD world that I am currently building, where I am still developing characters and coming up with new ideas all the time; is a place of sanctuary to me. I enjoy this hobby immensely and I especially like the photography and the sewing parts of this hobby. Finding wigs, eyes - having face-ups commissioned - being able to write about BJD's on this forum, etc.; all of this, has been therapeutic and calms my nerves.

It is the only world in my life that I can control. So, yes, for me it is about being in a place where peace, harmony, love and life is never ending. If you want to call that compensation - well maybe it is.

 

Well said.

 

Do you feel that you 'and/or' others around you are using ABJD's to compensate for something you lack in your life?

I really do think that I am living vicariously through my doll. In truth, I am overweight, and due to a few health problems, even though I exercise regularly, it is close to impossible for me to lose weight, and have children for that matter. My doctor actually told me to consider surgery Anyway, I've always wanted to be pretty, and wear nice clothing, but they just don't make too many nice clothes in plus-sizes. I also live in a very small place, and overweight girls are just not popular here. So when I got my first doll, my first mission was to dress her up in the prettiest dress I could find. I want her to wear pretty clothes, even if I can't. I know it sounds vain, but it makes me feel a lot better. Who knows, maybe if I can actually learn to sew, I can make my own clothes, but at least for now, somebody can be pretty.

 

Honestly, no. I'm average looking but pretty happy with my appearance. I just love tiny things, and I love painting things, and I love styling things. I guess I like that they can wear totally different stuff than me, but really, I dress vintage and Mori and my dolls dress pretty much like me.

I will totally admit though, that I was a very lonely little kid. As a child, I did get into dolls very much to compensate for the isolation and lack of friends that I dealt with. But I was also a pretty artsy kid and dolls did give me an outlet to sew, paint, draw and make miniatures for.

Now that I'm a grown up, I think I have a pretty normal amount of friends and am very happy with my social interactions, which I feel have great variety and depths. So dolls are no longer filling a void, as it were, and are simply a fun artistic outlet and a nice way to continue to use my imagination as an adult.

 

Well, maybe. I got my girl as a way to express myself through her with art, but it seems lately that I also like to express my fashion sense through her as well 'cause she can and will wear things I ... would love to wear but just don't feel I have the body for. Or things my family thinks I'm to old to be wearing... >.>

My husband also thinks she's a way for me to have & dress & fawn over a little girl since we only have one child and he's a boy. :P I don't think so but who knows. He might be right, but I just don't see it.

 

I suppose. I liked to wear punk clothes and also what would be considered preppy clothes in high school (Hollister sweatshirts and pants with a studded belt and Converses, sometimes band shirts and hoodies). Now that I'm in college, my style has changed to t-shirts, skinny jeans and high tops (I have a pic of myself in my profile, and my style is definitely not "punk" anymore XD). My Migidoll Miho is my punk boy, with heavy eyeliner, tattoos and piercings. I would love a tattoo, but I'm too picky and would probably get sick of it after two weeks. So I'm planning on giving him tattoos that I would like myself. I tell my friend on DoA that he's like the male version of myself when I was in high school. I even got him a studded belt and Converses It was a fun time, and I've always liked that style, but have been too shy to completely dive into it myself.

And Ivory, if you ever come back to look here, you are beautiful!