Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?

I never like barbie or fashion dolls bec. I don't look like one. I am only five foot and my waist is wide. So far bec. I don't have lots of $$ I only collect male bjds. The male bjds represent my idol of sort. I am married and my husband is far from looking like an idol but he is my perfect mate. My male bjds keep me happy and I try to keep them up to date in fashion. I might buy a female in the future though bec. I love dresses.

 

So far I feel like my characters represent different sides of me or ways I wish I could be. No I don't mean I want to sell drugs like one of my doll's characters xD. I mean like...one of my dolls are outgoing, another is popular, another fashion diva, another kind of crazy and loving it. It's hard to really explain ^^; I personally think that they do in my case, but for everyone? No way. Someone may have characters totally opposite than them and not wish to be it.

 

I've noticed that I live out quite a few fashion fantasies through my dolls and dress them how I would love to dress in real life. Back during my clubbing days, I even dressed like I was going to the opera just to go to the store but through the years, I've mellowed a bit though not entirely, I can't leave the house without a bright hair and lipcolor! I get so happy when I see people in real life taking chances with their fashion but it is very far and few between now. I really wish the whole lolita look was more prominent in the states but I've noticed how the these times are just so conservative here and it does depress me so dressing up my dolls gives me a bit of satisfaction since I don't see it very often in real life as much anymore. I look at some of these dolls and wish they could be real...if only!

 

My dolls don't make up for anything I lack, that's what makeup is for
True, a lot of people do 'live through' their dolls or wish to look like their dolls, but I love my dolls because I'm drawn to beautiful things.

 

I'm not really sure, for me it's sort of a different side of the coin. While yes, my first BJD, Nazomi, has quite a few characteristics that I do wish I had, and sort of 'live through him', my second BJD, Fakia, I think I connect to on such a deeper level because of the similarities he has with me. But the interesting part is we share similarities about traits I don't like about myself. I won't list them here as it's more of a personal thing, but I think the fact that I love him despite, or even because of his faults, and that within his storyline he manages to find love despite them as well...it makes me feel better.

I am just a very introverted person with pretty bad self esteem issues, and I think I may be doing it backwards than how most other people use their dolls to feel better about themselves. I'm not focusing on the good things, I am still focusing on the bad, but maybe putting it in a better light? I don't know, it's a little difficult to explain, but either way, I'm glad I have both boys with me to help me.

 

Actually, it makes perfect sense to me. What you're doing is embracing your shadow through your doll. Your affirmation that he is lovable regardless of his "faults" confirms to your subconscious self that you too are lovable, regardless of your perceived flaws. I trained as a ritualist in my spiritual tradition (though I decided community ministry is not for me) and that sounds like a fine example of psychological theater. I always suspected there was real potential for personal transformation in people's relationships with their dolls!

 

yes, and no. i don't lack in looks, but i do lack in an ability to express discontent or emotion to the people close to me.
the way you form yours dolls is a kind of expression.
i don't live through them, but i think their "stories" or lives, are a bit of what a lack, Miyani and Yumei represent a certain need for control, that no matter how succesful i turn out in life, will probably never be close to what i want.
and Lina dolls life is very much so a compensation for what i don't have, which is a perfect life, with adorable children (i'm way to young to have them but want them eventually after i get my head in order) , lots of fancy things (not i didn't buy most of her things, i made them out of what i could find around the house, so it's not so much a dangerous obsession to my financial future)

and of course her very nice apartment (more or less a bunch of boxes filled with things, that way you never get tired of the house layout) although at the moment, she's been given the sunny disposition of all the kids staying with her instead of their "parent" dolls. (the kid rooms were wrecked "accidently" by a bumbling neihbor girl who's an ex friend of mind, not for that reason though i don't like most of the little dolls i have enough to be mad over it)
and finally, a compensation that i can't provide for another living thing (except fish, $20 feeds them for a year) but i can provide a comfortable exsistence for a smaller inanimate doll. which is why i have so many ^^
and maybe a little that i'm neglected alot by my family, so the attention i want from them often is bestowed upon my dolls (yeah i know lame)

 

Well, my dolls are kind of like children to me in a way. Infact, for all intents and purposes character-wise, Elina is reguarded as my daughter. At the age of 20, i'm not yet at the stage to have a family, and so I suppose they do fill that gap in my life.

Also, as one or two people here may know, I have an issue with my gender (I know i'm also not alone in the hobby) and I think the fact that both of my dolls are girls kind of... help me by proxy to be female too. It's a pretty weak link though.

From a fashion standpoint though, I don't think the dolls compensate at all. They are dressed in lovely, expensive clothes that usually cost more than my own outfits.. but that is down to the fact that I personally don't feel comfortable in expensive outfits and I don't think it suits me. I'm much more content in a t-shirt or something.

 

"Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL? "


...money? :P

 

"Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?"

One word: menswear.

Whatever its virtues, this body of mine will never, ever wear menswear well.

I would rather like, I admit, to be male. Maybe a couple of days a week, max. Mainly so I can wear the clothes, but I wouldn't mind having a boy-type, fried-rice eatin' metabolism, and being able to, say, bench press my own weight. Don't, um, ask me to do that right now.

I guess you could say my BJDs compensate for something I do have IRL.

 

FOR REAL! Oh, to be Double D free....
I can't shop off the rack, so at least my boys can!

 

WORD. No three-button jacket will ever hang correctly on me, but Tseng looks great.

 

Absolutely not, well not in my case anyway..my dolls are just very beautiful sculpted/molded resin that i adore playing with and taking pictures of...i buy them because theyre gorgeous, thats it simple as that. i dont live vicariously through anything, least of all a lump of resin!

 

Oh, well I'm glad it makes sense to someone, I was nervous I'd explained it really badly and I had somehow ended up sounding conceited. Which of course if far from the truth as to how it works...But I like the way you put it-embracing my shadow. It's a little hard for me to think of it so clear cut since it is a really personal, and at times, hurtful thing to think about, but I definately think I'm better with him than without.

 

InkyBear - I totally understand what you're saying here. I think it's great that you can recognize that in yourself. I think that it shows that you are a very sensitive, aware, and brave person who wants to be loved just as you are. I really don't see anything unhealthy about that. We all have problems or flaws, and therefore I feel like the only thing that counts is honesty and bravery. I think you've just shown both in your post.

For me, I tend to live in my dreams more than most people I know. Dolls help me fulfill the need to spend my time the way I want to, using my imagination. This is something I find hard to do with most other people, at work, etc. I think society in general demands a lot of conformity and practicality. Which I can do. But I'd rather spend my time living in a world that is more suited to who I am. I find the opportunity to do that in many ways, and dolls are one of them.

 

LinaInverseTsg - it's hard for everyone to be a person and to feel all these things...admitting it does NOT make you lame.

 

LOL! Too true! XD
I don't think my Yuki compensates for anything, really. He's just a pretty doll that I wanted and bought. *shrugs*

 

Ooops, double post. ^^;

 

Ummm... My inability to have children (and I am still fairly young). My terrible childhood. Cellulite. I'd say that ABJD does help compensate a little for these shortcomings of mine... I wouldn't say that is the soul reason for having ABJD. I was attracted to them for their beauty, and their fluid nature. I'm very fluid in my life as well, and ABJD is better at keeping up with me than any other hobby ever has.

 

One of my closest friends has terrible problems with self-esteem, so I understand how painful it can be. I have the opposite problem of being too distant from my emotions, but I know that perspective can be hard for many people, especially in the depths of a depression. You sounded the farthest thing from conceited; you communicated how important these dolls are for your continuing healing.

You probably know this already, but the term "shadow" comes from Jungian psychology. To a much greater extent than Freudian analysis, Jungian analysis uses fairy tales, myths, Tarot and other traditional cultural artifacts to help patients identify, acknowledge and finally integrate the parts of themselves they feel are "dark," "evil," unacceptable and unlovable. Just as you are doing instinctively with your doll (in this reading, btw, the other doll would be your "animus," your bright side). I was an English not a psych major, so I can't really recommend books or authors, beyond "Women Who Run with the Wolves," which is a popular title from a few years back. Anyone else want to correct my butchery of Jungian philosophy and throw out some good reading material?