Do you feel that you should pretend to love dolls that you don’t?

(you = general sense)

It's natural to not like something, but if you're going to say something like "Your doll is crap", then I'd rather they keep it to themselves. That being said, it's also good to know what the person means by what they say (talking about critiques section). Saying that it might've been better to use a lighter hand on the eyebrows does not indicate someone thinks your doll is awful. It's always good to ask for clarification if you don't know what they mean for sure.

People in this hobby respect effort. It doesn't matter if the doll isn't to their taste, or if your skills aren't as advanced. People respect that you've put effort into your work - even a "bad" face up can lose that label if people know you put a lot into it.

This goes for photos, too. If your pictures continue to be terribly blurry, or very out of focus, you can't expect people to praise your work, or even your doll if they can't make out your doll to begin with. Like I said, people respect effort here. Any effort will do. Pressuring members for compliments on work you know you didn't do the best you could on does a disservice to you, too.

 

do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?
Like you said, if it isn't directly to the "face" of somebody with that doll. I do think it is acceptable to a degree. Everybody has their own personal preference. I do think though, that there is a difference between tastefully saying you don't like something and completely dissing it.
I always try to look for something I can like about a doll, for example SoulDolls, I personally think they are kind of scary because of their depressed looks and the horns are scarier and more devilish than Soom horns, but I do admit that past that they are very nicely sculpted.

Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.
I don't think there would be much debating and discussing going on if people only said good things. Obviously it's wrong to diss and shut down a doll, though I think a tasteful opinion isn't wrong. Getting totally offended doesn't really do any good over somebody disliking a scupt you may own, everybody has their own opinions.

Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board?
I would be careful in wording it so I didn't outright offend anybody. I said earlier in this post that I'm not a SoulDoll fan, and on deviantART I told somebody "I typically don't like anime stylized dolls, but ...[a compliment that I can't remember]"

 

With being new to the hobby, I LIKE to see negative feedback on dolls. If you're reading through a forum, and everyone only says nice things, you never learn the faults involved with the skulpt. "I'm not a fan of X company because of their posing ability/resin quality/ odd sized eyes/wigs" ect. No, I don't think it's nice to bash a doll with no explanation, but if its a constructive dislike, I don't think I would have a problem with someone disliking my doll. Opinions are like bad days, everyone has one, and they all stink.

 

Negative feedback on companies and sculpts are a necessity to this hobby. If we're always supposed to praise every sculpt, how do doll owners know what to expect, and how do doll companies know how to better their product? Only giving praise and never any opinions of feelings towards the face-ups, or stringing, or resin quality doesn't help anyone.

Like I said before, am I telling (general)you that you could've gone a little lighter on your doll's eyebrows? Yes. Am I saying I dislike you, your tastes, and/or your doll? Absolutely not. Sure, I may not be crazy about, or understand, some aspects to this hobby, but I'm fully entitled to not like them just as much as you are entitled to like them.

So, you may adore your face up, but I don't have to. Granted, I also shouldn't to say your doll is ugly (which I never would), but I don't have to agree with your choices 100%. That's what you get with dealing with other people whose tastes may differ from yours.

 

I can see why people get defensive when their doll/doll's sculpt is criticised. This hobby is quite expensive and the amount of money we put into making these dolls look beautiful/handsome is quite high so if someone dislikes the doll/sculpt it can get upsetting!

 

On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

Well, I usually don't - cos I don't see the point in commenting on a doll/doll company I don't like when I got nothing else to say than "I don't like it."

Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

Depends. When the member asks for honest opinions on e.g. a face-up or clothes they made themselves, they should get those honest opinions. Cos most likely, they ask because they wanna improve their face-ups/sewing skills. And if people don't tell you what you're doing wrong, how can you improve?
If I don't like a doll I'm more likely to not comment on it at all than say that I don't like it unless directly asked how I like it. Then, I'll be honest and say that it's not my kind of doll.

Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board?

See above. If asked about how I like this or that sculpt/doll/company, I'll give my opinion.

Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own?

Not really, no. I know that my dolls aren't really all that "mainstream". The important thing is that I like them. As long as it's not comments like "whoa, your doll SUCKS!!!" - never mind. We can't all like the same things.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?

Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?

Nope, haven't but I'm not THAT active on the forum.

If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?

THAT would be kinda weird! Luken's many things but I wouldn't use the word "beautiful" to describe him! *lol* I think the most positive word you can find for him is "cool" or "kinda cool". As for the person - if they don't like him, well, good for them. Will save them quite some money and a lot of trouble finding that same doll. The company doesn't exist anymore and he wasn't their most popular sculpt, I think, so he's hard to get now.

 

I think that if a person is respectful and tasteful in saying their opinion, whether it is negative or positive, then it is fine and should be taken as being okay. It would only be inappropriate if the person is rude and nasty about it. No one should pretend to feel a way that they don't, but everyone should have a heart and be caring about how people feel. If someone wants their opinion to be made, then they should do it kindly. Everyone has different opinions on things, and most mature people can know and understand that. As long as it is said kindly, then everyone should be okay.

 

For all written below, "you" = "general you".

On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

I think it is acceptable to express dislike for a doll or a doll company, however, whether it is safe or not depends on the thread. I've noticed that some discussion threads are very protective of the company and/or doll being discussed, and any negative opinion, or, even worse, the discussion of any negative experience with the said company/doll is very much frowned upon. Immediately, some people get protective and defensive, stating things such as "but, MY doll is perfect!", or, "but, I always had a pleasure dealing with company X!". I do not like to frequent such threads, as I believe it stifles healthy and honest discussion. I think the best advice I can give about speaking your mind in discussion threads is to observe the atmosphere of the thread first - if you notice people getting upset about anything less than rainbows and kittens, it's probably best to save yourself some grief and not bother posting anything related to disliking the doll/company in question. Of course, the official disclaimer applies: you have to be polite and mindful of others when participating in ANY type of public discussion; rudeness is never part of a healthy/productive debate.


Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

I feel that some members are definitely overly sensitive. In my opinion, if you choose to post your thoughts and/or pictures on a public forum, you open yourself up to both positive and negative comments/opinions/thoughts/arguments/etc. In essence, by posting the pictures of your dolls on the internet, you are expressing an artistic opinion. In turn, those who see your picture and comment on it, are also expressing an opinion. If you are free to express your artistry in public, then the public is free to comment on said artistry - it's a two-way street. There are some things that I do not want to hear negative opinions about from strangers, so I won't ever post about them on a public forum.


Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.

Sure, I am willing to admit it, if my opinion is solicited. Otherwise, I prefer to make my DoA experience a positive one, and so I only subscribe to and read threads about dolls that interest me. The only time I find myself expressing dislike for a doll or a company is when there is a new release, and no one has the doll at home yet, or if I personally had a negative experience with a doll and/or company. I don't find it enjoyable dropping into threads about dolls that I don't like and raining on everyone's parade - I fee it would be a waste of my time.


Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)

I wouldn't mind at all. Actually, I heard it quite often about my BJDs when I was still collecting fashion dolls at the same time. The fashion doll forum that I used to frequent called BJDs "those weird alien dolls". It didn't hurt my feelings whatsoever. I truly don't care if a stranger on the internet doesn't like my doll. Furthermore, since these days limited editions are all the rage, it leaves more of a chance for me to get the doll I like when a company releases a limited number of dolls. If everyone liked what I did, I probably would never own any of the limited BJDs


Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?

Nope, for reasons I posted above. I buy these dolls for my enjoyment, and it is in no way lessened because someone doesn't happen to like them.

Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?

Never. I'm just not an argumentative person and I don't get mad easily, especially over subjective things like doll preferences.

If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?

N/A

If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?

I would not try to convince anyone - what's the point? Everyone has their own likes and dislikes. I wouldn't want someone to try and make me like something I don't, so why would I do that to someone else? The only exception would be is if I am asked why I like my doll; in that case, I would be happy to explain why the doll in question appeals to me. Otherwise, I will go on enjoying my collection and let others enjoy theirs. The beauty of different tastes and preferences is that I am able to see owner pictures of dolls that I will never own - that's always fun!

 

I don't really actively dislike any doll molds. If a doll mold doesn't grab me, I just show no interest, so it doesn't really make sense for me to go into a thread showcasing a mold that I don't like. Inversely, I would find it weird if a random DoAer dropped into a thread just to express dislike for a mold. Really, even if a person dislikes a particular mold from a company that they do own other sculpts of, I don't see anyone expressing any strong dislike in a size-specific doll discussion thread, since they generally have a certain rapport with fellow members within the thread. The most that I remember seeing is someone saying a certain sculpt is "not their cup of tea". I don't really consider that an expression of dislike as much as disinterest.

I also think no one likes being criticized, even if they say otherwise. Not everyone will get defensive or angry, but most of the time we're raised to seek approval and common interests, so it's natural for you to feel hurt if someone doesn't like something that you like. It's not rational, but even if you do realize that not everyone can like the same sculpts you do, there's nothing wrong with feeling offended, angry, sad, etc. about it.

However, I have had close friends (some are doll collectors, some aren't) tell me they don't like certain dolls I own. I don't think they're trying to be insulting, just expressing their opinion. In that case while I might feel bad about it, I try not to hold it against them. There are tons of other things my friends and I disagree about, and it doesn't mean we're bad people or shouldn't be friends.

Still, it's trickier online since you are brought into contact with people you're not necessarily familiar with, and it's hard to discern someone's intentions or tone from a post. Sometimes they're not really saying what you think they're saying, or they don't think what they're saying is offensive. Even with posters who most agree aren't being snarky, it might be harder to be understanding with some stranger than it is with someone you know. ​

 

There are a few sculpts I do not care for at all. When I happen upon a gallery thread of one, I don't say anything and move onto the next thread. If I were to meet someone in person with one and was specifically asked about their doll, then I would be honest and say that I am not a fan of that sculpt personally or that it isn't one that catches my interest. Otherwise I would be polite and not say anything regarding my opinion of the doll. I don't feel that it's right that anyone should feel that they need to like something they don't, it's just not fair.

As a Dollfie Dream owner, I have gotten the whole "I don't like anime dolls." speech. I'll respect their opinion (even if I think it's a load of crock when they're cradling their big doe-eyed DOD or Volks), they shouldn't be forced to adore my doll. She was made to my liking, not anyone else's specifications. Vinyl isn't everyone's taste, nor is anime, nor is anything else I like, it'd be unrealistic and unfair of me to expect everyone to be instantly in love with her or Dollfie Dreams in general. Therefore, I don't think it's fair of people to get upset when someone expresses dislike at say, a doll sculpt they own. It's your doll, it should only matter if you like it.

 

I personally like a lot of the less popular sculpts that a lot of people don't like. ResinSoul Lu, for example. But I also don't like a lot of the popular brands/dolls. There is one major company that I seriously do not like ANY sculpt I've seen from them and the bodies are some of the worst, IMO, that I've ever seen...yet it's a very popular company and I'd say the majority of bjd ppl love them. If someone gave me one of their dolls with the requirement that I had to keep it, not sell it, I'd turn it down.

I'm used to being the odd one out. I don't care if others don't like my dolls. I do, that's what matters. And I don't feel obligated to pretend to like something I hate. I've never done that with anything, don't plan to start now. If someone else loves a doll I hate, so what? as long as they love their doll, I don't have to. But I'm still not going to go around posting "X company is stupid and hideous and I don't get why ANYBODY would want one, they must be crazy or blind"...that's just uncalled for. In the correct time and place, I would not have an issue stating "I don't care for/desire company X's dolls because ___________."

 

if you dont love the doll then sell it and get a new one that you love,

 

Not on the boards but at conventions I try and stay sweet to all dolls. If I dont like one I dont say anything, and at worst I find the nicest thing about them and compliment them on that. Then again with my sister I'm quick to point out flaws though her doll is gorgeous xD So I guess more then anything its respect to strangers, brute honesty to my little sis I pick on xD

 

I come from a family environment where everyone gives their whole, utter, harsh opinion, so I've developed a pretty thick skin. I've grown up with people calling my anime 'that jap crap' and my music 'that crap you listen to' so the dolls being 'those stupid dolls' doesn't really phase me anymore. (It should also be said that I call my brother's collection of plane figures his 'plane porn', and his electronic stuff 'those stupid trinkets' so I give as good as I get.)

However, that's the family environment in which I've grown up, and I'm aware that there is a different level of civility required outside of the home. My family is a loving, supportive environment - I defend to the death my brother's collections, he defends to the death mine (outside of the home) - we stick together. When discussing things with people that don't have the same dynamic, of course more tact is going to be required.

When talking to someone on the internet, or someone you don't know very well, of course it's rude to just tell them that you hate something. I'll joke with my best friend that she's "watching that awful crap again" on TV, ("bah!" Says she, "You're listening to that green girl and her blonde bimbo sing again, so what of it?") but I wouldn't say that to a random stranger.

On DoA, I do feel comfortable expressing my opinions tactfully, but I would never, ever express my opinions in the way I do to friends and family. Mostly because in my close interactions, we're so close that tact is kind of a foriegn concept, but also because tact and politeness is important when dealing with people you don't know.

 

My family is similar, but we don't use 'crap' and 'porn'. My dad tells my mom, sisters and me when we watch dramas "What's the use of soapy dramas, they are only a waste of time!" and we retort, "Who's the guy who spent hours on TV watching Top Gear yet unable to afford any car they feature? Is that not a waste of time too?"
Opinions should be given tactfully. Firstly, it is basic respect (excluding Chibihaku and my families). Second, no matter how good it is, if you phrase it in a rude way, how can the other party or anyone ever see it as constructive feedback? It will be more of a hurting insult. Pharsing it politely enable the person to maul over it and make improvements. What is a hobby if it is forever stuck in a primitive state without improvements because everyone spoke to random strangers like they do to their families?
Another thing I believe is that constructive feedback should be given by those who share similar tastes. Example, an anime doll's shortcomings will be more easily realised by one who like anime dolls. Same for realistic dolls. "I don't quite prefer anime dolls," is more of a comment than a constructive feedback to me.

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?
Of course, you should be able to politely express your opinion. However, it's completely expected that some people will get defensive. These are our babies! Our pride and joy! Of course we'll defend our tastes. And with this being an online forum, there's no way to tell how something is said, so people are always taking things the wrong way. You might inadvertently come across as rude when that wasn't your intention at all. This actually happens to me a lot, as I'm not very good with diction.
-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.
I wouldn't say anything as general as that. Some people are definitely going to be more sensitive to criticism than others. But I wouldn't say they're "too sensitive." As I said earlier, these are our babies! Owners that feel love and adoration for their dolls might take offense to anything even remotely negative said about them. That being said, it's not right for either party to argue over it. It's a subjective matter, after all.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.
Usually I wouldn't, unless I really really disliked the doll. There are so many other threads, why bother posting in a thread about a doll you don't even like? But if I felt so compelled, I would make a great effort to word it in the least offensive way. Even an objective comment like " The quality of X companies sculpts is not very good compared to the standard." can still offend a sensitive owner.

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)
If they were talking about the mold, then I wouldn't mind. To each his own. But if it was my doll specifically, I would mind, even if it wasn't in an offensive way. Why would you feel compelled to tell someone you aren't fond of their doll?
-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why? I wouldn't necessarily try to convince them, but I'd like to point out things that I love about the doll as my response. For example if they say, " Too much of a bobblehead" (which some people use to describe PKFs that actually upsets me just a bit.), I could say, " I think the big head makes her cuter" It's a matter of principle. If you can express your distaste, of course I can express my love.

 

I am a pretty pessimistic person so I wouldn't be surprised if people offline or online, dislikes my dolls. I mean, that's their opinion and I'm cool with that. Rather, it's more like I don't want them to see why my dolls are beautiful things, hah. But if someone is just being an ass about it (and it's pretty obvious) that they're purposely trying to get you angry, then I wouldn't waste my time with those kinds of people. I certainly don't like ALL of the dolls I see here, but I keep it to myself and if I must express my opinion then I do so in a proper manner. I don't see this as a problem on this community though... people seem to be pretty civilized here. I mean... why would you randomly jump into a conversation just to say that you hate that kind of dolls? If you don't like it then why even look at it... why even go through the effort of typing a hate message? To me it's just not... economical, lol.

I find that it's harder in real life, when you're face to face with other doll owners, to mask your unpleasant feelings. I don't like hurting people's feelings, so instead if someone shows me their doll and I don't particularly like it, I'd find a way to compliment on what I think are its nicest features... to bluntly say to someone's face "your doll is ugly!!" doesn't make a lot of sense and ruins what would be a decent conversation...

 

My gosh, I got into a discussion like this yesterday concerning white lies and why we find it necessary to tell them.
Here's my take on this.
I for one feel that it's ridiculous how society has made it the norm to cater to someone else's comfort level and by doing so repressing whatever emotions or opinions we may be experiencing.
And then also, I believe there is a time and place for everything we say and do.
With this in mind, if I were to dislike a certain doll for whatever reason I have, why can't I express my distaste for it?
Now, if another member were posting about how happy she is about receiving Doll X, which I happen to not be so fond of, I'd refrain from coming in and saying "Oh, yeah, I don't care for Doll X for reasons Y and Z". If I want to post, I'll congratulate them but I would not drop a negative opinion on the doll into said member's thread.
But, let's say if a discussion has been opened up for Doll X and it's been asked of other members what opinions we wish to express, I'll come in and share my views and explain my dislike for said doll.

No matter what, I won't lie, though. If a member is asking how much other members love their doll, I won't say anything at all if I find that I dislike that doll for whatever reasons I may have. What's the point, really? That thread is obviously comprised of like minded individuals and barging in waving my hater flag won't bode well for me. But I won't post an outright lie expressing something I do not actually believe in.

 

I don't expect everyone to like my bjds, but I do expect them to behave nicely, at least when it comes to the gallery. If you don't like it, don't look. When I ask for a critique then you can have at me. I generally view the gallery as a pure glee area. I doesn't have to be the best pictures, or best looking bjds, just a place for the owner to share their glee about their doll.

I have been offended before, by someone saying they didn't like my doll. It really hurt, and I didn't want to post anything about that doll for a few days, but once I had some time to calm down and back away, I realized that a. it wasn't directed at my doll specifically, but that mold, it was just unfortuate timing that made it seem directed at my doll, b. I don't think the person intended to be as rude as they were, you can read things very differently over the internet, and c. it was in the picture request area, someone was asking for thoughts on that mold, so of course the person was allowed to say that they didn't like it.

My general rule is stay on the page until you find something you like. Even if it's just "well X could be worse". I saw a rather popular mold the other day that had been styled in a way I just couldn't understand. It was the worst I have ever seen that sculpt and while I wanted to ask the person what they were thinking and how on earth they managed to make a beautiful sculpt look that ugly, but I forced myself to stay on the page for a few more seconds, and I managed to find something I liked. I still didn't like the doll overall, and I didn't comment, but I found something I liked.

I try to go through life understanding other people. I'm not going to like everyone, it would be silly to try, but I can make an effort to find at least one thing I like about everyone. I use the same approach with bjds.

 

On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

I have no problem with people saying "I personally don't like XYZ", or "XYZ doesn't appeal to me" or whatever.
What I don't think is acceptable is saying things like "XYX dolls are so ugly", or "Only an idiot would buy this doll" - both of which I have seen on forums.

Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

Again, I think sometimes it's justified that they're angry. I don't think people should say only good things, but I don't like broad sweeping statements that put down dolls and their owners.
There are many dolls that are not 'my thing'. If there's spam, I will usually remark on some aspect on it. The clothing, or the wig, or the face-up, etc.

Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics.

Sure. But again, I would keep it personal - as in "It doesn't appeal to me personally." Even in a thread that is about a specific brand I have no problem admitting that a certain sculpt doesn't appeal to me personally. When asked, that is.

Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own?
No. I love Resinsoul, I'm used to people not being into them. Not everyone likes the 5SD tiny in my avatar either.

Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own?

That depends on how it's said. But I don't feel people have to like what I like.

Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own?

No.

If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful?

No. I might tell them what appeals to *me* about that particular doll, but I don't really care whether or not others like my dolls.