Do you feel that you should pretend to love dolls that you don’t?

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?
I wouldn't say, in general, it's really acceptable to express dislike for either a doll sculpt or company. As someone mentioned earlier, the sort of threads where one would express those sorts of opinions are not often allowed. I don't believe I've ever expressed distaste for any doll on this forum just because, well, there's no place for me to do so if I wanted to. DoA is just a site that strongly discourages negativity. As for it being *safe* to express your dislike, well...that's really up to the individual member. If you don't care about someone getting a bee in their bonnet if you say you don't like their doll, then, yes, it's safe. If you do worry about that, then, no, it's not. Because a lot of people take their dolls very personally, and even that sort of unintentional slight is going to upset them.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.
Yeah, I think some people are definitely oversensitive, but it's not so much when it comes someone disliking a particular mold as it is with disliking a company overall. You really can't say "I don't like Company X", without at least one of Company X's fans telling you why you ought to and/or why your criticisms are invalid. The concept of 'personal opinion' seems to not be a valid point for some people in those cases. Personally, I can sympathize with feeling upset and/or thinking someone is wrong for not liking the dolls or doll makers I do, but I think it's important to realize that those feelings are pretty much irrational. Dolls are really nothing to get that worked up about, no matter WHAT someone says about them.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.
Sure, I guess. I don't see any reason why it would be inappropriate.

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)
Yes. XD I'm not going to lie, I would totally feel like they were "wrong" for not being able to grasp the perfection that is special little snowflake. But then it would be about five seconds later and I would get over it. The way I feel is, if I want to be free to express my opinions without backlash, then I ought to deal with opposing ones in the same way I'd like mine dealt with.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?
Well, I've already said yes to the first question...so as for the latter, I don't know, I guess it's just my personality. I do put a fair amount time, work, and money into my dolls, but it's only for my own enjoyment of them, and I don't feel as if efforts have been insulted if someone else doesn't like what I've come up with. I already know that I like my dolls for different reasons that many collectors, so I don't expect anyone to be interested in them in the first place.

-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?
No, I don't think so. If I disagree with someone, or if someone has written something that has made me angry, I prefer to just not respond to it. No one is asking for my specific opinion on their statements, anyway, so I don't give it if I feel like it's going to be nasty.

-If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?
While my tendency is to feel rather defensive at first, I doubt I would ever feel justified arguing over something as petty as liking or disliking a doll sculpt!

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?
Beauty is too subjective for that! Perhaps it's because I tend to like things that aren't beautiful to most people, but I just don't see the point in arguing over something that there will no be a conclusive answer to. You can certainly make an argument for why YOU think something is beautiful, but no matter how strongly you feel that way, it doesn't really affect someone else's sense of beauty. They're going to like or dislike what they like or dislike regardless.

 

I only comment on dolls or photos that I like.

The only exception is if the person asks for a critique, then I may say I don't like something.

 

Some of this problem seems to come from folks who have had personal contacts with company artists and reps, beyond just buying a doll or two. They get all personally wrapped up with the fact that artists or others they know at these companies are being criticized and their feelings might be hurt, blahblahblah. I can understand this concern if the criticism is really over the line, such as people demanding that doll companies drop everything and provide them some extraordinary service outside the norm, but surely artists and managers at doll companies are savvy business people who understand that not everyone will be in love with their product, and might even be open to consumer feedback as a way of improving the product or developing other alternatives.

 

I think that people should respect other's dolls/molds, but that doesn't mean they have to buy one, and it doesn't mean they have to rag on it. A healthy medium is nice. Maybe stating an opinion or constructive criticism is fine.

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?
Sometimes I don't feel completely "safe" against retaliation in expressing dislike. Especially if it's a popular doll. But I think it's more than acceptable. I can't like everything you do, and you can't like everything I like. That's life. So why would I not express that a doll isn't my cup of tea if it's applicable.


-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.
I find some are WAY too over sensitive. As long as you like your doll, why should it matter if I do, or anyone else does? Some people have ugly face ups, or ugly clothes, or just plain ugly dolls.. But that's *MY* view. It's what aesthetically doesn't appeal to me. I don't think because someone doesn't like it, they can be RUDE about it. But they can politely voice their opinion on it.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.
I mean, I wouldn't drop into the volks discussions and rag on them because I hate volks (In general, there's a few sculpts I like). That would be tacky. But if there was an open discussion on every company, or a few together, then yes! I would. Discussions are, in general, for everyone to voice their opinion. So, if you dislike this or that doll, you going on a thread and saying *WHY* not just "ewww BBB" or "zomg Souldoll is horrid", then you might help someone make their doll decisions.

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)
Not at all! I know some people aren't into my BBB or my Felix. They have a certain look to them, and I like it. it's them. But others don't. And they don't have to by any stretch. If they tell me, that's ok by me too. I'd rather them not pretend they love my girl if they don't.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?
Not at all! Again, I love my girls and boys. No one else has too. And I don't expect it.

-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?
I think the only incident of this was when someone was very rude about it. Again, it wasn't that they didn't like my doll that made me mad. It was the rudeness they took about it.

-If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?
Not a defensive person XD

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?
Not at all! I'm not going to "convince" someone my doll is wonderful if they don't think it's aesthetically pleasing. I might go into a conversation about how versitile the mold is, so don't rule it out based on how *I* have it. But that's the exetent.

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?
Yes, but only really in debates and discussions, and only if very simple and tactful, just like others have stated.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.
Considering how precious these dolls are to people, I don't really find a lot of the defensive reactions to be overeactions. If your passionate about something, it's going to show.

I don't think we should be barred from saying something like "Volks does nothing for me," but something like that isn't really negative. Unless it's in the for of custructive criticism, and requested, it's a bit pointless to toss negative opinion around.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.
Yes, but I never touch threads that talk about doll that I don't already have some sort of interest in.

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)
Not really. I may inquire why, but my dolls appeal to me, and that's why I have them. Your dolls appeal to you, whether I like them or not. That's the rule of the world, and that's just fine. I actually like to hear someone say why they adore a certain sculpt so much.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?
Really all depends on how someone puts it. I don't really care if you dislike my doll, but I will care if your nasty to me about it.

-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?
No. I really haven't had my dolls long enough for this to happen, and I hope it neve does.

-If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?
N/A

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?
Again, haven't had my dolls long enough for anything like this to happen.

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?
Definitely not...particularly some extremely popular and well-established molds and companies. If one's personal tastes run somewhat counter to the established grain, well, sometimes it's just wisest to keep quiet. On the other hand, 'damning with faint praise' or by subtext seems to be acceptable.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.
I think -unless obviously, absolutely flawed in some basic issue- all dolls have their merits and will appeal to some people, for an array of reasons. It's unreasonable to believe that everyone has to love your doll, even though it may be pure perfection in your eyes - it would be a boring world if we all liked the same things! I think this cuts out on a lot of potentially interesting discussion and real understanding of the hobby and how it is developing, if people can't feel free to openly look at the flaws and merits of various types of dolls.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.
There are many sculpts I dislike, for many reasons; some of these are personal aesthetic quirks unique to me, others have to do with experiences (there is a certain - very popular!- mold that totally resembles a person who bullied me mercilessly as a kid - as hard as I try, I can never appreciate that particular doll). Those I probably wouldn't mention, as they are uniquely mine, and I am very aware of them.

It's more the 'general unease of not liking' where mentioning it for discussion could be of possible merit - figuring out the 'why' of a dislike is interesting, I think. I find that once I've figured out 'why' I don't like a particular doll, it sort of 'clears the air' and I can set that aspect aside and examine its merits - even come to appreciate or like it.

There are also a lot of dolls I don't actually dislike so much as feel...unenthusiastically neutral about. A lot of them are quite attractive, but lack that 'hook' that engages me with a doll. I'd like to be able to discuss this, because it's something I'd like to understand better, but it's definitely an area of discourse I don't feel comfortable pursuing, because someone might take offense and fly off the handle.

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)
I imagine most people aren't 'into' my dolls, seeing as roughly half of them are painted to be tigers! Seeing as the majority of my dolls (even the non-tigers) are 'niche' types, like coloured resin, tinies or animal-dolls, it's entirely understandable why someone might not have the same liking.

I have had well-known person in the 'doll world' tell me -in personal conversation- that a doll I own and love dearly wasn't something they liked. I was kind of disappointed, because I had hoped they'd feel as I did about the sculpt, but I also felt like they respected me as a peer to be open and frank about their impressions. I'd much rather someone express an honest opinion that can be discussed than be blandly 'nice' about it.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?
I can help it, but sometimes I'm not very inclined to...especially if I feel they are speaking from bias and prejudice and not even looking at the doll for what it is, but instead considering only price tag, manufacturer, or country of origin.

A lot of people I know dismissed the Cheshire as 'too creepy' when it first released; it's been very gratifying to have a fair number of them rescind that opinion after seeing my 'tibbified' version. So I'd have missed out on some major 'happy' if I'd let the initial dislike bother me, or if they'd muzzled their honest feelings out of fear of offending!

-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?
I'm used to critique, and I understand that people have different tastes. It does rise my hackles when people make generalizations about 'ugly anthros' or 'cheap dolls' but I try to keep my head and remind myself that it's not my problem if their biases are preventing them from appreciating a range of dolls that have given me much joy.

-If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?
No, I don't think getting angry helps anything much - I do have a temper, and I'm always a bit disappointed in myself when I lose it (it's just not the tao of tibby, dig?). On the other hand, I do think people who 'troll' or deliberately provoke others are more than due a little comeuppance, and applaud those who can make them look like the fools they are and retain grace and dignity.

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?
For sure! That's what discussion and debate is all about, and I think it's much more interesting to figure out exactly what points are individually and collectively appealing - or not. Best-case scenario, we both come away from the discussion with a better understanding and some new information to consider, and possibly a broadened range of appreciation.

 

In general, I only comment on dolls I like but as long as you aren't personally attacking another person's doll, I don't see a problem with tactfully expressing your opinion on whether or not you like a particular doll or company.

Let's face it, we all have different tastes & in a discussion or debate you have to be true to yourself. I know that other people aren't all going to like the dolls I do & don't feel the need to get offended when someone mentions that my doll isn't one they like. I also feel no need to convince them otherwise though I'll often point out the features that particularly appeal to me.

I'm more interested in what determines someone's personal aesthetic, what draws them to a particular doll or company & what turns them off. If someone doesn't like a doll, I'm curious as to what exactly they find unattractive rather than a simple statement of dislike. Often this can help me take another look at the doll & find out just what it is that attracts me to that same doll or if I have another opinion of what I dislike about it.

 

No, I don't feel it is okay to express your dislike for a doll or a doll company. Well, anyone can do whatever they like, of course, but for me it is not okay I feel that way because I compare other people with myself, and I'm oversensitive about my dolls. When someone says they don't like Hounds, for example, I immediately feel offended, I start brooding about that, arguing with this person in my mind even though I never say anything aloud. And I presume some people might feel the same. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings because I know that in such a situation my feelings are hurt. So, I try very hard not to generalize like that saying that I don't like Dollzone or any other company, even though there are some companies I do not find particularly appealing.

 

That's exactly it. If I'm not permitted to say I don't like things that I genuinely don't like, it completely devalues and voids whatever honest, true compliments I might make. If I see a doll that's absolutely the most beautiful doll I've ever seen in my life, and I say "What a lovely doll!", but I also say "What a pretty doll" about six dolls I privately think are ugly, then on some level I'm being very insincere and you can't trust a word that comes out of my mouth. I'd rather be honest so that what I say is genuine, and that's how I like other people to be also.

I have friends who do music or art and are always thinking their work is lousy, and I always say, "If it was lousy I'd tell you," and when I think they can do better I say so. That way, when I say, "Your new song is really amazing, it's one of the best I've heard in months," they know I really feel that way and it's not just something I'm saying to be polite or because we're friends.

 

When I was a 'newbie' in BJD hobby, once I said 'This doll is creepy.' in Doll free Market and the doll owner was very unhappy about that. I was startled to that reaction, because I like creepy and goth dolls... T.T

Though she was polite not to mention anything about that, so I was very impolite person in BJD hobby. I was sorry about that, but I couldn't apologize because I didn't know that I did wrong thing at that time.

But, there are also a prejudice and a faction(?) in BJD hobby.

A month ago, I posted complaints about VOLKS KOREA A/S policy and their unreasonable customer service in Korea's biggiest BJD web community.
That was all my experience and I think it is wrong so I spoke.

Since then, some of my online BJD friends did not post comments on my blog and ignore all my comments, too. Before that, I think we were good together.
Well, I don't have much faith in 'Only-on-online' friends but it looks like an unreasonalbe reaction and it also hurts my feelings.

I complained about Volks Korea's A/S policy, not on their dolls.
But now I'm public enemy to some Volks Mania, and it seemed most of BJD lovers in Korea.
It's weird, maybe I Should Love all of Volks things(including their policy and price and their loyal followers) in Korea and it makes me sick.

 

What you say here is exacly why I feel it is so important to be honest about our opinions. ALL our opinions, not just the ones that will please the crowd. (btw rudeness =/= honesty) If everyone will only give nice comments, those compliments become hollow.
Why would it be disrespectful to tell the truth? A hypocritical but oh so nice comment about someone's doll when you (general you's) know that deep inside you can't stand it... that's not respecting a person. It is simply a way to avoid a possible confrontation. It has nothing to do with that other person and everything with saving your own hide.

I think that most of the oversensitive behaviour is caused because no-one dares to tell the truth on this board. There's a policy that if you have nothing nice to say you should just shut up. But like Tez said: Different opinions are healthy. If we are not confronted with different ideas we get oversensitive, because we're not used to someone who disagrees with us anymore.

 

Honestly? On DoA it's okay to hate on dolls as long as they're Volks dolls. But that's almost always been true. Try calling a Bobobie doll what it is (don't get me started) and a thousand Bobobie fans will pop out and tell you how wrong you are and how THEIR Bobobie is like, made of gold and sunshine and kitten fairy dust. I saw someone once very innocently state that their doll (I think it was BBB or one of those cheaper types) didn't pose very well and they were jumped on immediately. Maybe Volks owners are just thicker skinned by now. I also don't think it helps that a lot of people on here fancy themselves as artists, and artists are usually pretty sensitive.

My friends and I are in agreement that one should save up for a good doll rather than buy an ugly one just because it's cheap. So I don't anticipate having much of this problem around them. But if I were to meet someone IRL who had an ugly-as-sin doll I would just bite my tongue and not say anything. I'm a little "quoi" in news threads where a pretty much objectively ghastly doll is getting praised all over the place, but I still wouldn't publicly say anything bad. (And no, I don't mean a doll that's "not for everyone" because of some different aesthetic. I can appreciate Toadstool or Cheshire and wouldn't mind owning one if I didn't pay for it. I mean kind of deformed, like a 5-year-old sculpted it.) If my opinion is not "holy fuglerz, Batman!" I might say something, but only in a sculpt thread. Rare. Like, I thought Soom Cass looked old. Not ugly. Just kind of reminded me of Glenn Close. That may be the only time I bothered. I wouldn't do it in the gallery or wherever else. I honestly don't even get the people who waste the time to say, "Not for me!" or "Safe this time!" Who cares? The world didn't need to know you won't buy this doll. Should I post in every doll thread of every doll I have no intention of buying? Sheesh.

So while I won't pretend to like them, I'm generally not as publicly vocal as I would like to be. I've never liked the sunshinekittenfairydust attitude of DoA, but that means I would generally rather stick to the "if you can't say anything nice" philosophy when it comes to dolls.

As for my sensitivity, you know, not everything is for everyone. There's subjectively ugly and objectively ugly and some people even like dolls because they're ugly, and we just need to all remember that and, you know, deal with it. I own Volks dolls and people are ragging on them on DoA ALL-THE-TIME. But I guess I'm sort of used to the "bash the popular thing" mentality in my hobbies. I just roll my eyes.


Looking at the title again, I would also wonder if there are people who are DETERMINED to love dolls they don't, for some reason. Like if you really didn't like tinies but that's all you could afford, or your mom got you one and would know if you sold it. Something like that. I could definitely see that happening. I think I DO see that happening, but can't be 100% sure.

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

Of course it is. Everyone has different tastes and this is a very individual hobby. Everyone will try and have their own uniqueness to their dolls or to put it simply: they'll like what they like and no one else has any right to tell them otherwise.

I've personally said I dislike Volks and Luts (and just said it again) and I hope that no one will take it as a personal attack because honestly, those dolls - while I appreciate the beauty of them when others own them and photograph them and think they are beautiful in their own way - are dolls that I personally would never own.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

Personally I think that if it's a case of a specific doll and people have commented just to say they don't like it, or something along the lines of that - I think that is definitely in bad taste. Honestly if someone's taken the time to post pictures of their doll and it's not to your taste, you don't have to comment at all. It's that simple.

If it's a general statement and expression of dislike in general, I don't think there's anything to really be defensive about because it's just someone else's personal preference. We all have those and they should be respected. As long as no one's overly rude about it, I don't see the problem with saying something isn't to your taste.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board?

I've seen a number of dolls that aren't to my personal liking on the board. I admit that, but I don't go so far as to comment about it to make someone feel bad. I simply look at it and think 'I don't really like that, but they do, and as long as they're happy with their doll then who am I to say anything?'. Then I'll just move on. Honestly I don't think anyone needs to have fingers pointed at their doll to have it criticised (unless they're asking for aesthetics critique, in which they shouldn't be offended at all in the first place because they ASKED for honest opinions).

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own?

Not at all. Everyone has their opinion, as I said above.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?

No. I happen to like a lot of artist's sculpts, so the dolls I happen to like most of the time don't always suit people's aesthetic tastes. It doesn't really matter to me. If I like it, then that's all that matters.

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?

No, I just say 'I like it.' I mean I accept their opinion and I usually discuss reasons why I like the doll I like, and I listen to the reasons why they dislike it. I'm mature enough to see that it's not a personal attack on my doll (and if it is, then I don't really care, it's not worth getting upset over)

 

On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

It depends on the doll or company and what you think of as "safe." I don't feel that I can make a negative comment about a doll from any company I don't presently own... because people will look at the dolls I do own and assume I'm judging based on brand loyalty or lack of experience with the doll in question. In general, I only give a negative opinion when asked directly... but otherwise keep negative opinions to myself and only comment on things I like.

I think tactful negative opinion is fine... but it's something where people need to give their opinions respectfully. And in the right places! A discussion thread about a doll is a more appropriate place to say "You know, I'd like it better if the head was smaller" than in the waiting room... the first would be more like a discussion, the second would be more like raining on someone's parade.

I also don't feel like people need to give their opinion about everything under the freaking sun. I think many people overvalue their own opinions and wrongly think that the world is better for knowing their thoughts on everything.

Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

I think there's a broad spectrum. Some people are definitely too sensitive... just as some people are definitely too tactless. I think that people who really count their dolls as "friends" or animate objects tend to get really wrapped up in how they are perceived. I don't know if that's healthy, but it's not really my place to judge. But there will always be people who fly off the handle over nothing... and there's really no way to predict who they will be.

In general, I don't see a problem with general comments as opposed to personal comments. I think saying you think a sculpt is ugly in a general way is different than going into someone's gallery thread and telling them that their particular doll is ugly. (I think the latter is just tacky as hell.) I also think that people shouldn't just thrown around hyperbole... OMG THAT IS PRACTICALLY A CYCLOPS vs. His eyes are too close set.

Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.

If I don't like a doll, I generally don't comment at all. If I do like a doll, I will say so. It's not really a comfort thing, it's more that I don't feel that people really care if I dislike something; I'd rather build relationships and friendships on common likes than common dislikes.

Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)

There's always that bit of "Whyyyyy?", but nothing I get ruffled about.

LOL, I think that in general some owners need to just accept that they have ugly dolls. Personally, I am pretty open about the fact that I have a thing for ugly SD-sized Volks dolls and own 3 of the least popular SD13 boys (Heath, Link, and Eden). If I got up in arms every time someone said that they didn't like them... gosh.

Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?

Not really. Unless someone is factually wrong (i.e. saying that all Volks dolls cost $2,000 and are made of poor quality resin), I generally don't bother to reply.

If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?

If it is a friend, I might try to dazzle them with little details... but I don't really care about strangers opinions enough to try to convince them personally. I'm not sure if it's pure apathy, but it's generally a great big "Whatever!" from me. I have the dolls that I do because they make me happy; I don't need anyone else's approval.

I don't feel that I need to give my negatives for my positives to be valuable... I just make sure all my positives are sincere. I think that giving false compliments is different than withholding negatives.... I don't think anyone on DoA should feel like that have to compliment things that that don't like.

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

Short answer, yes. If you're discussing a mold and/or company, my personal opinion is just as valid as the next person's. If a particular doll mold strikes me as odd looking or something I don't have a liking for, I think it's acceptable for me to say so. Needless to say, HOW you say it is probably more important then WHAT you are saying.


-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

I personally have not run into this problem, partly because there are few doll molds that I don't really like enough to have spoken out about them. There are companies I'm more fond of then others, and since most of my thread discussions are in threads devoted to those molds/companies, it doesn't really come up. I don't go out of my way to poke my nose into a thread about a doll/company I'm not interested in to post something negative, either. So I would have to answer "I don't know, but it's certainly possible."

I do not, however think people should be limited to only stating positive things. It does little to help foster discussion and it doesn't help people who are new to the hobby if all they see/hear are glowing reviews. If someone has a problem with a doll/mold, etc, I want to know about it before I commit myself to buying one.


-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.

It would be incredibly awkward. And rude. If I can't find something nice to say about someone's doll in a box-opening thread, I usually just say a polite "congrats" or compliment their pictures, etc.

If the discussion came up, or I was interested in the doll, etc, I would probably have no problem saying so. If someone asked me directly about why, for instance, I buy DZ and not Volks, my answer would include not only financial reasons, but the fact that I simply don't like the Volks faces. They are not 'mature' enough for me, and they look awkward to me in the eyes. Other companies I don't like the molds of, I would say the reasons as easily. It's never anything personal to someone who DOES like the company or mold.

The thing is, if you don't like a doll, or you don't like the company, in a forum this big, you have to make a sort of concentrated effort to go about and find a thread to post that dislike in, and that's what I don't understand from others. I don't like a doll, or a company, I'm simply not going to go into threads that are discussing said doll/company.


-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)

Heh. Being such a big DZ fan, and owning one, I hear/see a lot about people who are not into the company and/or his mold (Chen). That's fine. Not every doll is for everyone. That's why it's so fantastic that there is such a wide variety of companies and molds now out and available. There's something for every one. (Of course, it also means I'm tempted FAR too often, darn it.) I get MORE guff from people who aren't into BJD at all, so someone not liking Dollzone is not really a big deal to me. I'm sure we can find other things to talk about. Then again, I own a Puki as well, and some people don't like tinies, or don't like the pukisha face, which I don't understand (how can you RESIST the cute?), but again, to each their own.


-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?

I think quite a lot of this would depend on HOW they said it, rather then what they disapprove of. If they're disapproving of the company, or the mold, no, not really. Again, they're entitled to their opinion. If they're being deliberately confrontational or trollish, I would likely be annoyed or frustrated. If they're attacking my doll specifically, either his face-up, clothing, characters story, that would be something different entirely.


-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?

Nope, but then I haven't really been in the hobby more then six months or so, and I only own two dolls at the moment. Not a lot for me to get defensive over. The closest I got was when someone at work was giving me a hard time over Seth and an outfit I was creating for him, which is related to his background story. I got annoyed and defensive but it was more because said person was pretty derisive of Seth as a doll period, and my interest in them, so it's not really the same thing.

-If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?

I think I'm just too laid back to get angry over something like that. Also, I don't feel like I have enough experience in the different dolls/molds to be able to say with any sort of authority who might or might not be a better company. I know what I like, so that's enough for me.

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?

Assuming we're still talking about fellow BJD hobbyists, and not Joe Schmoe off the street... no, probably not. They're going to like him, or they aren't. I have had several dolls I've seen on the company sites and thought, meh, not really my thing, but then seen owner pictures and gone WOW, that's AWESOME. So I'm well aware that what I might not like now, I could change my mind on. I'd like to think everyone else keeps an open mind as well.

 

I find people tend to feel the need to be an "advocate" for their "favorite" company or mold. I say, "DollZone's lips do nothing for me" -- I wouldn't ever post this in a gallery, a photostory or a specific mold discussion thread, as that would be me asking for trouble. But in a more debate type setting it is important, I think, for me to mention such things if I feel them.

In other words, choose your battles. Somethings aren't worth bearing your fangs.

 

I think it should be taken as a case of 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all' in general discussion. If you see a mold you aren't fond of, either don't say anything or find something to comment on that you like, even if you don't like the doll or company as a whole.

But if someone specifically asks your opinion on something, be honest. Not harsh, but honestly tell them politely whether you like a doll/sculpt/company or not.

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?
I think it is. As long as you have a valid reason, I don't think people should be scared to air their dislikes.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.
Like I said above, I don't see any reason in hiding how you personally feel. Freedom of speech! (and of course, not to be rude. Just to state your point.)

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.
I would if I felt the need to say it.
Everyone has their own aesthetic likes and dislikes. I don't like a number of BJD companies (mainly because their dolls all look a bit samey in facial expressions), and if someone asked my opinion; I'd say it. But I wouldn't just go into a thread and bash the company! XD

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)
I wouldn't.
Everyone likes different things. Just because I like a doll doesn't mean another person has to, and vice versa.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?
I don't.
I know sometimes the dolls I buy are not everyone's cup of tea.
I don't go for the overly popular dolls, expensive dolls, or BJDs with a slight anime quality to their features; pointed noses, overly large eyes, etc.
My dolls tend to look more softer in feature, and a little more human. But that's my preference, and I don't really care if people hate or dislike my dolls. I bought them for me! :3

-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?
N/A

-If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?
N/A

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?
I like to tell people why I like my dolls. Like I said above, I prefer my dolls to look a certain way, and while I may think they're beautiful a lot of people may beg to differ.
I'm not that miffed with other people's reactions to my dolls, my wardrobe, or myself. I'm a hardskinned goth, me! XDD

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

Sure... if you're polite about it. Rudeness is frowned upon.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

I think a lot of people on DOA expect everyone to love their dolls as much as they do, and that's just not going to happen. Different people have different tastes, and it's unreasonable to expect people not to express those tastes EVER. Also I think a lot of people get their backs up about less expensive doll companies in particular and claim that anyone who doesn't like them is being elitist. It is entirely possible that people just don't like the way those dolls look, e.g. I don't care for Dollzone sculpts and never have and it has nothing to do with how much they cost and everything to do with them not being to my taste.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.

Sure. I hang out in some company/size threads for dolls I own and I will happily say I don't care for a new sculpt or something. Usually in the context of "Thank goodness, now I don't have to want to buy one!"

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)

Not as long as they're polite about it. Lots of people think one of the sculpts I own is funny-looking, and I'll gladly admit she kind of looks like a squashed frog sometimes, but they're welcome to their opinions as long as they don't get rude. "I just don't like that sculpt, it's not for me!" is fine. "Eew, that sculpt is SO UGLY how could anyone like it!" is rude. Similarly getting up in my face or in one of my threads to tell me how much you dislike the sculpt is rude. On the other hand I've had people say at meets that they normally don't like the sculpt but mine is cute, or that they don't like it in pictures but it's way cuter IRL, and that is flattering to me (my one is special and extra-cute!).


-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?

Nope. They aren't the one who had to pay for it. I dislike lots of dolls, so I don't buy them. I assume everyone else is the same. And heck. The less people who order it the faster I get mine.


-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?

No. I pretty much restrict myself to rolling my eyes and moving along.


-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?

No. I'd be pissed if someone did that to me. Everybody has different tastes, and arguing with them really isn't going to change that. I don't feel the need for everyone to like the same things I do, and I expect them to respect me and my opinions enough not to try to make me like everything they like.