Do you feel that you should pretend to love dolls that you don’t?

I think giving false compliments is different from withholding negatives, but only in a manner of degree because the feeling inside is the same no matter whether you express it or how you express it. However, I don't want to give the impression of making a mountain out of a molehill. There are a lot of things one can post about and discuss on DoA without having to get into opinions on doll companies, lines of dolls, or specific dolls, so it's quite easy to go about one's business, learn about the hobby, chat with people etc. without having to opine on dolls at all, so in the sense that there are many other things to do, lots of threads to look at, etc. the subject is easy to just skip entirely, especially if you confine yourself to the more informational forums.

At the heart of this whole thought is not that my opinion is so golden I absolutely HAVE to pop off with it - I sure don't. There's tons of stuff to do in the doll hobby without having to have an opinion. It's more that I consider my opinion to be such a personal and somewhat trivial/ insignificant thing that I can't imagine anyone getting bothered by it, unless perhaps I was their teacher at school or their boss at work and was going to give them a raise or a grade based on my opinion, or maybe if they were a super close friend or family member who has some understandable emotional tie to me. Aside from that, my opinion means and affects nothing and is really just confetti flying around the wind tunnel of life - maybe fun to discuss, kick around, hear others points' of view is all. Sometimes opinions are silly, sometimes they are funny or constructive or open one's mind to a new path. But, apparently there are others who are affected negatively by opinions, and I've accepted that, no matter how odd or unproductive I think that is.

 

Why not do both? "Oh wow, that face-up is gorgeous! But those lips are a bit too pouty for me." "I'm a big fan of Company X, but this mold's eyes are too big."

I'm not specifically picking on you, Mundaati. It just seems like most people are taking this as a black or white issue (say something nice, or don't say anything at all). I thought that's what constructive criticism was all about.

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

Yes, depending on how that dislike is expressed.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

No, I think it's actually pretty understandable (provided that the offended party doesn't start flaming people, because that's not acceptable either). I've explained why I think this further down.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.

I have expressed a less than positive opinion before in threads about new releases, but I tried to do so in a polite way. I felt comfortable doing so as the threads were appropriate places for that kind of commentary.

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)

No, I wouldn't have a problem with it provided they were being polite about it.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?

See above.

-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?

Um, I don't really know--I've posted enough on here over an extended period of time that I don't remember everything I've said. If I have gotten upset in the past, it was not because someone has a different taste in dolls, but because they were expressing their dislike in a particularly unpleasant way.

-If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?

I don't think I get all that defensive. But I will say this--feeling attachment to your doll is very common and encouraged. This is added to by the fact that many people put a great deal of time, effort, and a part of themselves into their dolls. So with that in mind, it's not surprising that people may get defensive from time to time.

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?

Not exactly--they're going to like what they like, and I like what I like. I may explain why I like the doll so that they understand. Or if it's a thread on a board I may want to give my own more positive opinion so that people reading will get more than one take on a particular doll or company.

Really, a lot of how people are going to react is going to come down to how things are said. There are ways to express one's opinions and give constructive feedback that are a lot less likely to cause offense. Saying "company X's doll just don't do anything for me" has a very different tone than "company X's dolls are really ugly." A lot of what causes problems is people typing without thinking about what they're saying. There's going to be a variety of opinions out there (as there should be), and there's nothing wrong with wanting to share them, but it also pays to remember that there are real people reading your (general you) posts who are rightfully attached to their dolls. So, yes, don't be afraid to give an opinion, but do remember to be respectful to the other owners out there.

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

Depends on how you do it. For example, I don' like DOD at all, but many people do. It's an aesthetic things, I am not gonna go around and say oh, I think their dolls are ugly. I just won't comment since... well, I don't like them, but no one needs to know that. :>

I sometimes do think some people are very happy to jump on the boat to tell people exactly how much they dislike some new dolls... Notdoll's Naripon Toadstool comes to mind, or any of the Soom's new MD. There are some very mean things that were said that really wasn't necessary. I mean, ya, you don't like it, no need to rub it in people's faces especially if the other person do. Doesn't really accomplish anything.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

Ya, people can be. I do think if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything. Way to avoid trouble and misunderstanding.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll.

I have actually done that to... Fairyland's Ante. It went along the line of "Whoa, I usually don't like Ante at all, but yours is quite beautiful" when someone has a particular pretty one of the dolls you normally don't like, I don't think it's rude to say something like that.

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own?

Sure. Everyone like different things.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?

Approve? I don't know why anyone has to approve of what I own. I own them, not other people.

-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?

Hm. No. I don't think so.

-If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?

No. In the end, this is the internet. Not worth it.

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?

No. Don't see the need.

A lot of these I think comes down to something that's like a social tact. People can like different things. You can choose to say it nicely, or say nothing. Like, you see a parent with an ugly child, what are you gonna do, "Hey I am sorry your kid is ugly and stupid?" No, you say nothing or find things to compliment unless the kid is a rotten kid then well depending on your relationship with the parents you may or may not say something. Same thing here, not all your opinion needs to be known.... or you can just vent it all out on your blog or something if you must. :>

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company? To a small degree it is, but If I were to even scratch the surface of what I think of certain molds and companies I'd probably be banned.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls. Definately yes. I've never seen a more sensitive group of people than on DoA. This isn't always a bad thing since it usually means people are helpful and friendly, however if you dare say something negative about a doll there will be people jumping down your throat and calling you "mean."

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow. If I don't like a doll, I usually just leave the discussion thread. If I really hate the doll, I express that elsewhere.

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)
Why would I care if someone likes the same doll as me? Unless they're specifically insulting my doll, in which case I'd be annoyed but I'm a big girl I'm not gonna go cry in the corner about it.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?
No.

-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?
I'm pretty sure that's never happened, but you never know, I was a flailing n00b once too.

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?
That's so pointless. I may as well try to convince someone to like salami when they've always hated it. What's the point, why would you even want to. It's boring if everyone likes the same things.

 

I don’t think anyone condones Volks being hated on. While I have not read every single thread in this forum, I have read quite a bit and have never seen anyone hate on Volks.

At the end of the day, what they all really “are” are hunks of plastic. Getting upset because someone doesn’t like your expensive doll over a cheaper one is pointless.

None of the dolls in this hobby are cheap. I have seen people with beautiful Bobobie dolls that are wonderfully dressed and painted. On the other hand I have seen some Volks dolls that have crappy faceups and look unkempt.



I personally try to find the best in each doll. I might not like a sculpt overall, but I like to find something nice about each of them. I like to do this because I know that someone took a lot of time and effort to sculpt the doll. My fiancé is a sculptor and I see first hand the time and dedication that goes into sculpting. Saying that one company’s dolls are ugly or cheap just based on the company’s name is ignorant and going out of your way to make jabs at people based on this is rude. If I don’t like a particular sculpt, I won’t say anything unless I am asked.

 

Oh man I hear you on that one. It's also apparently OK to rag on Soom and to a lesser degree Luts, but Volks is the number one company hated on. It's always people that own "cheaper" dolls too, as if they're insulting the "popular kids" because they feel insecure about their own dolls. For some reason, saying anything and everything bad about Volks is perfectly ok, but if someone dares to say even the slightest negative thing about Bobobie, all these defensive owners will descend on you.

 

I'm curious, how expensive do my dolls have to be then for me to freely state that 99% of Volks dolls are absolutely nothing special to me without it being assumed that I just feel like poking at those apparently better than me because I'm oh-so insecure? $650 enough? Or do I need to plunk down $300 more for such an opinion to be true

 

Good question. I won't buy an ugly doll because it's expensive, either. It's a simple difference in taste. 99% of Volks dolls are either very anime (which I'm not into) or have a general "look" that I personally find very, very unattractive. I've seen people do wonderful things with Volks dolls, but no one has yet made one look a way I'd be willing to buy. I admire some on the forum, but would not buy them.

I would LOVE to own a Volks, but they're going to have to come out with one that has a face that appeals to me first. That's not hating on Volks because I'm jealous, it's stating an opinion. Fantasy Doll doesn't make ANY faces I like, and neither does Notdoll. I don't hate Volks, or Fantasy Doll, or Notdoll. Any time ANY of those (or any company) comes out with a new doll I run to look, and hope it's one I like, one to go on the wishlist. No luck so far. That's not hate, that's disappointment. If Volks made a gorgeous not smiling sultry eyed mature mini I'd probably be saving up for it right now, or might have bought it already. Instead, they have ONE FCS face I like, but not enough to put it ahead of the multitude of dolls I LOVE on my wishlist.

 

I own Volks dolls! I am offended! XD Just kidding.

I guess since I do own Volks, I'm somewhat 'used' to people saying XYZ about Volks doll owners being 'purist,' etc.

Also, as an Isao Nanjou lover, I was first taken aback that not everyone loved Isao. But then I realized that everyone has their own preferences, and well... not every doll is an Isao! XD I'm glad for that - if it was, well, there wouldn't be as much doll diversity as there is now.

 

I've had people comment on how they hate my dolls. Not on this forum but another. It's why I don't post them.

 

It just seems pretty odd to me when in many threads like "is it wrong to like cheaper dolls" and such, people will just bash volks out of the blue. Statements along the lines of "Whatever, my _____ dolls are super cute, I actually think Volks are weird looking and creepy." Stuff like this when the conversation had nothing to do with Volks, no one had said anything along the lines of "Volks is the best, you guys should all burn your inferior dolls" or anything like that. That kind of thing reeks of insecurity and defensiveness. You almost never see it go the other way. How often to you see someone that only owns volks/soom/whatever just randomly bring up a hatred for bobobie or aod out of the blue? There was a "what's so special about Volks" thread a while back, where the OP was asking why they were so popular, what were their good points, etc... and Volks owners came in saying various things they liked about their dolls. However, random non-owners came in and just started bashing the company. There was a similar thread about Bobobie around the same time, and it was all sunshine and kittens, only owners posting there.

I believe there are as many people out there that don't like Volks as there are that don't like any company, but when to people randomly chime into threads with "OMG I absolutely hate elfdoll"? Also I don't think everyone that bashes Volks secretly wishes they could have a Volks doll, but I think the random bashers are jealous of the attention the company and their dolls get and wish they had that kind of attention. Again like bashing the popular kid in school.

 

Do I feel like I should pretend to love dolls that I don't? No.

... but do I feel like all dolls and owners need to be treated with respect? Yes. Opinions should be expressed tactfully and received with grace.

There are certain molds I am not attracted to. Personally I would not discriminate anyone for owning one of those molds, nor would I share my opinion on the mold itself (unless asked). But isn't that to be expected? As individuals, we have different priorities and our hearts are drawn to different characteristics (both in the doll and real world). As a whole, however, we share a love of the hobby in general.

I know I'm extremely new to the hobby, but those are my views. Take them with a grain of salt if you wish.

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?
-- Personally, no, not really. DoA has the nice nazi reputation for a reason. I only usually talk in debate, just because it seems more like the only place one can actually express a little bit of a different pov on any subject without getting their head bitten off or their post deleted.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.
-- Yes, a lot of DoA members are far too sensitive. Heaven forbid that someone complains about a company for anything besides service. They get the lectures of doom about how hard the company works and such.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? Yes. I don't care who likes it, I don't mind saying "Yeah, those lips don't work for what I want." I won't be rude about it, because I know someone does like it. However I'm not scared to say that it isn't workin' for me. Whether it gets deleted or not.

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? Nope. My doll works for my character. That's the reason I got it, not because I wanted people to ooh and ahh at it. My dolls aren't really show pieces, they're my characters and they work for me.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why? Not really. If they walked up to mine and were like "ZOMFFFFFFG, a F'n Godo ewww. . . " then yeah, I'd be annoyed, but if they could be polite about it, I've got no issue. Find something nice to say, or just keep it to yourself rather than make a point to tell the owner that you think their doll in particular is fug.

-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad? It was before I actually owned a particular doll. I liked Soom's Vesuvia. A lot of people were saying the doll was disappointing, dissing it and such because of the set clothes that Soom had on her. I got mad because I liked her a lot, and it rather sucked to have such bad things said about something I liked a lot. I was looking more at the doll and less her clothes, and laughed really hard that 'Vesuvia Syndrome' was born of the entire ordeal.

One can change a doll's clothes, hair, eyes and face up in this hobby, it burned me up that something I liked so much was being bashed on so ard because of one version. It's like me hating every single DOD - Ducan because I saw one owner's Ducan that wasn't to my taste. It's just not cool.

-If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why? N/A - I don't really get pissed, because I don't usually run into the problem.


-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why? Nope, my doll works for my character. If someone else doesn't like my doll, not my problem, I don't have to please them.

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

No, because doll preference is totally subjective. I think it's ok to say that a particular doll or a particular company's dolls are not to my taste, but that's as far as I would go on DOA.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

I think it's rude to attack someone over something so trivial and subjective as doll preference and naturally people are defensive when being attacked. If I can't say something nice about someone's doll, I keep my mouth shut.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.

I would admit that the doll is not to my taste.

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)

No, but since you mention it, several people have commented on my gallery threads that they dislike the kind of doll I have. I don't mind that they dislike the doll, but I was offended that they felt compelled to inform me in my gallery thread. I really don't care if they like it or not; I mainly posted my photos for the benefit of people who actually do like the kind of doll I have. If I don't like particular dolls in gallery threads, I don't comment at all.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?

I'm not offended if people have different tastes than mine in dolls.

-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?

I am not a person who gets mad easily, so I rarely overreact about anything. I like odd dolls that are not popular, so I'm pleasantly surprised if anyone likes them.

-If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?

I only get annoyed if people are very rude, and then I ignore them and forget about it.

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?

No, everyone has their own personal likes and dislikes, and are entitled to their opinion. For example, I think it would be pointless to try to convince someone who hates Notdolls that mine are wonderful. They are odd dolls that one either likes or does not like. All the argument in the world is not likely to change their opinion so why waste my time?

 

One of the reasons that I think that Volks gets mentioned so often is because they're the first bjd company--everybody knows who they are. They are sometimes perceived as being on the top of the heap or that people place them on a pedestal. Because of this, they often end up being the ones that other dolls are compared to. If you're talking inexpensive vs more expensive, there are a lot of companies that cost a similar amount to Volks, yet Volks is what first springs to people's minds. I'm not saying that that's necessarily fair--I have a Volks and several Volks hybrids and some of the comments that get thrown around in various threads can be a little uncomfortable sometimes (depending on the thread and how it's stated), but I think that's what's going on.

You're kidding, right? One thing I notice is that if a person does not own dolls from X brand, they tend to take less notice of what's being said about them. There's been plenty of negative things about less expensive dolls from blatant mistrust of the companies for no good reason, accusing them of being a gateway into the hobby for bandwagon jumpers, people feeling that they are inferior, that people who own them just settled etc etc. There have also been Bobobie threads where owners were quite willing to talk about the pros and cons of their dolls--the fact that it was mostly owners or people that had owned them in the past is because they were best able to answer the OPs question.

I know which Bobobie thread you're talking about, and I was pleasantly surprised that it stayed so polite. I was holding my breath just waiting for the negativity, which was a very real possibility. However, just because people behaved themselves well in that thread, doesn't mean that other threads/posts are the same way.

The companies that fall into the middle of the spectrum (Elf Doll, Luts, etc) don't get as much flak, because they don't grab as much attention as the dolls at the far ends of the spectrum Volks and Bobobie, AoD and so on. Again, not entirely fair, but it's what I've noticed from being on DoA. I don't think it's wanting attention, personally. It's either giving a simple opinion (but maybe not stating it well) or in some cases perhaps wanting a certain amount of respect that isn't always there. Whatever people might say about Volks, there is no doubt that they are a highly respected company--even if someone doesn't like them, rarely are they looked down on as being inferior. The same can not be said for some of the other companies out there. It's almost an opposite situation: Volks gets flak, but is highly respected; less expensive companies have lots of fans, but there is often a subtle lack of respect that can become grating after awhile (enough unfriendly comments here and there do add up after awhile, as I'm sure you're aware of). I do think it's a bit of the pot calling the kettle black to complain that Volks gets a lot of unwarranted flak and then also complain that people who own less expensive dolls are over defensive and attention seeking. Both groups of owners get upset for the same reason--they love their dolls and don't want to see the companies be characterized unfairly.

In my house I have Volks/Volks hybrids and Bobobies and AoDs living in harmony--it also means that when people make less than nice comments on-line they're usually about a company I own a doll from. I wouldn't say that Volks is necessarily picked out any more than Bobobie or other inexpensive brands, but that the companies at either end of the spectrum often attract the most attention which can be both a good and bad thing.

 

If I don't like a particular doll or what someone has done with it, I just don't comment, period. I won't blow sunshine up doll owners' asses to inflate their egos, but I don't critique where no critique is being requested, either. It's not that I'm afraid to speak my mind, but in general I find it to be more hassle than it's worth due to how defensive some members get, no matter how politely and impersonally the comment is worded.

The ironic thing about this is that the very users who tend to get their backs up when they don't see pure positivity also tend to be the ones who get upset because not very many people are commenting on their gallery threads or loving on their dolls in general. Sometimes it seems like these people just won't be happy until everyone lies about their tastes and showers them with false adoration.

At the end of the day, I'm allowed to have opinions, and I stick to them. I won't pretend that I like something I don't. But expressing the reasons why I don't like that something? Sometimes it's just not worth the investment. More's the pity, because I think the more interesting and productive conversations are those in which people politely disagree.