Do you feel that you should pretend to love dolls that you don’t?

I agree with Lizzard, If I don't like a doll, I just don't comment. I try to be as honest as I can if someone asks me, but I try not to hurt feelings and just say, 'it's not my style' or something that's more neutral.

 

he he, this may be like telling somebody their baby is ugly ROFL when i come across an ugly baby i just avert it with a comment like "aww, a baby" or "she's so little" or maybe "what a cute outfit" LOL

 

If I don't like a sculpt, I just don't comment, I would never want to hurt someone's feelings by saying something about a sculpt they absolutely love.
seeing pictures and seeing dolls in real life is different. in rl a doll is just much more there, unhidden or changed then any picture of it could be.
basically I try to keep a strong or even unkind opinion to myself, the doll was chosen for a reason: the owner likes it, who am I to disagree then?

 

Come now, Volks owners are hardly innocent in this. There are good Volks owenrs, and bad ones, though - and when people start pointing out that they dislike Voks, it's usually because someone has been throwing insults at other companies "cheap", "hideous", "amateurish" ect, while having in their icon a particularly unattractively sculpted Volks anime-styled doll which they insist has superior aesthetics. And please don't pretend it doesn't happen - just look at all the various threads for less expensive dolls. It's no wonder people get defensive when their beloved dolls are bashed for being ugly by people owning dolls they think are particularly ugly.

It's a pity that mature Volks owners get flak because of the few idiots on certain threads, but pretending that only Volks dolls get bashed is really misrepresenting the situation. And if you think people don't like Volks because it's the "popular kids", then that's a good example of the problem.

 

I own several Volks dolls and I still have a lot of issues with Volks as a company and Volks' dolls that I don't own. So the contention that it's just people who own "cheaper" dolls who dislike Volks is a bit off.

 

Guys, do not let this get to be the old discussion of "Volks elitists" and "cheaper doll armies." This has been discussed and debated at length in many threads. Please get back to the original topic. Thanks!

 

I think costleyhobby pretty much summed it up. The love, time, and care we put into these dolls makes them so prescious to us, and it almost becomes unconditional.

I think I understand why DoA has the "Don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say," rule more or less in place. I've noticed now that I have my first dolls, every time someone points out Bobobie as a bad/cheap/ugly/whatever unlikable thing company, I get a bit miffed. Not raging angry or anything like that, becuase most people are nicer here than to spur that and, again, some random opinion on the internet really makes no difference to my life, but I still get kind of upset becuase I'm so happy with my pair.

Despite that, I really don't plan on ordering anymore dolls from them becuase of a rather the mediocre service me and many other customers had over the last few months despite liking a few more of their dolls. No company is perfect, and I'm far too new at this to really pic a favorite.

Monkeycancer's attitude is also a bit refreshing in that she really doesn't have any reason to candycoat anything, and just like me and others who order from a few choice companies, feel like they get put down more than others just for likeing what they like. Despite the fact that she was the one to point out her real distaste for companies that have much lower prices becuase most of the time she hates their aesthetics, and I just happen to like dolls from a few of these. I'm guessing she likes the old-school orginality of Volks, while I don't. I like the strong stylized looks of the more oddball dolls companies. And that's perfectly fair.

I've noticed that lately, every time I see a doll I balk at for whatever reason, for either being straight up ugly, having a weird mod, being dressed in a way I would never do with my dolls, I remind myself that for someone, somewhere, that thing is their dream doll, no matter how much I hate it, and there's a reason it's the way it is.


[/endsoapboxrant]

 

Part of what confuses me about this is something that strikes me as a little simple: if there is a doll you know you don't like, why are you looking at it in the first place? Why waste a moment of your time with it?

I can understand if there is something from a company that you expect you'll like, then don't. I can understand if it's a version of something you normally like, and are then surprised to find that you don't.

I'm not interested in certain sizes, so I don't look at them or comment on them, for better or worse. It would take a lot of time to go through those forums and threads and look at things I know I have no interest in. I value my time more highly than that, so I don't do it.

I'm curious to know if people have some expectation that they're somehow required to look at everything on the forums, regardless of personal interest in it?

It isn't quite the tangent it may seem to be; I've noticed a suggestion of this in threads where people are curious about the lack of comments or views on their threads, or lack of comments about certain sculpts as compared to others. Could some of the 'feel the need to say something, anything' and feeling the need to write fluff may somehow key in to that manner of thinking?

I know I don't feel the need to comment on dolls or gallery threads I don't find interesting or dislike, just as I don't feel the need to read threads that aren't of interest to me. Since it's pretty clear from this thread that this isn't a universal mode of thought, I have to wonder if, or how, they may be related.

 

I'm not so much curious about the things that someone may or may not like, or doesn't know about one way or the other. I mean the things they already know they dislike. I can't think it's worth the time to really sniff around there unless it's an instance like the 'friends passed along the link' scenario above. (And yes, in those cases, there's a more of a need to say something.)

I mean, if I know already that I hate NotARealDollCompany's BubblesTheHideous in SizeIDon'tCollect, I can't imagine why I'd go into a thread for that sculpt to say anything -- or even read more -- outside of the 'was asked to specifically' possibility.

 

Yeah, I made something up actually because in all seriousness, I do look away pretty much immediately if I see something that isn't for me and I promptly forget about its existence. It's really -that-, well, lacking in relevance. I save all the ire for politics or something. I peek at threads for companies I've never heard of, especially in news, or when something new comes out that is unfamiliar, but yeah, that's a different animal.

New sculpt comments that aren't all rah-rah are also something I think is a positive thing, actually, provided they're polite and, well, accurate. I've seen some people snark on things and just be... wrong, or make some silly claim that is objectively inaccurate. That kind of thing will bug me, not because it's not a positive comment, but because it's such a waste -- and I do feel that if someone is going to snark at something, there is a definite need for accuracy there.

 

If that was the case I wouldn't enter a thread, because I wouldn't be interested in the first place. But like you said yourself, if it is a doll released by a company I do like and in a size I'm interested in and I'm disappointed when I see the pictures, I sometimes want to show that disappointment. Doesn't mean others will agree with me, but there's nothing wrong with giving a different opinion. (as long as it is expressed tactfully)

 

-On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?I have no problem in expressing dislike for companies, or particular sculpts, as this is opinion and not nasty in general (ie "I don't like that particular doll, it is too chubby/young. pointy nosed/gangly for my tastes"), but more and more companies are directly represented by owners here on the boards, so this is becoming a tricky subject. When critique is invited, of course, it is a different story.

Expressing a dislike for a particular doll, however, owned by a member, well that is really not your place. hold any opinion you like, but there is really no need to state it in public forum here. Hold your opinion, express it between friends, but publicly is a little bit like inviting a slag fest, let alone being potentially hurtful to the owner.

I have had personal experience of this (not on this board, though the parties involved are members here, but on a board that shall remain nameless as it exists to snark and wank) where someone in the community who I deeply respected was not just expressing dislike but was extremely nasty about one of my dolls. I would never leave the hobby over something like this, but I don't really post photos any more, nor do I participate in the way I used to, hell I actually abandoned the forums for quite some time.

-Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.there are actually rules about making negative comments when critique was not invited. People show their dolls to share them, not to invite people to rip apart their darling. A lot of care and attention goes into their dolls and the look of each doll, so when you insult a doll you are also insulting the owner, since you are insulting that owner's work, effort and taste. If they want critique they will post in the critique section, and even then there is a protocol to follow in your response if your comments are less than positive. Constructive criticism is also different to someone expressing dislike. Honestly I think opinions of dislike should be left off forum unless directly invited. Why? because if you less than like there is no need to say it, just refrain from saying that you DO like it. With so many members it can be difficult enough to get comments on photographic posts, so there is no real need to compound that by posting "you know...I really am not fond of your doll"

I think the thing people are forgetting here is that this is a PUBLIC forum, you are not just telling the person but all of DoA, and potentially causing embarrassment etc. It is like someone at a party yelling at you "OMG why on earth did you wear THAT? it looks awful!" and the whole room stopping to look, stare, etc. Personal opinion is just that, personal, so keep it personal, not public.

-Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow. I have openly stated that I am not fond of particular sculpts, that they are not my taste, but not that there is anything wrong with them. I am comfortable making the generalization in relation to my taste, not to the skill of the sculptor etc. Doing this to a personal doll is of course a completely different story.

-Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)nope, I have a Dollmore Ray, she has a big nose and huge eyes, a lot of people do not like her sculpt, but I do, that said I would be offended if someone said they hated MY Ray, as opposed to Ray in general. The only time I have ever been offended by a comment it was about my particular doll, not about a sculpt that I own.

-Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?nope, if I happen to own a doll they do not like well that is their opinion, but if they have no issue with the doll and only have an issue with MY doll, and react badly because of it then I have an issue. Hell even saying to me privately "you know...I never was fond of your doll, something about him/her bothers me" would be fine, hell I may even pump you for information to find out what you think needs improvement, but saying in public that you hate my doll...different story. That is public humiliation and a total lack of respect.

-Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad? Oh yes, I have overreacted, I left the forums for a time when someone was very hurtful to me, and a couple of my friends (ill health played a part in me leaving too, I will be honest, but the nastiness was a major part of it). Well I got over it and felt embarrassed by it. In the end all I did was let one small minded and nasty person hurt me for no reason whatsoever. The skin got a bit thicker from it. [please note never have I embarrassed any guilty parties by outing them, and I doubt they would even remember saying something that hurt me]

-If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?In general I do not get offended, but when I do then yes, I do feel justified. I just feel that in the past I let myself down by letting someone nasty get to me, causing me to miss out on a lot of fun.

-If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why? Nope, i will tell them why I DO like it, what I find charming, but I will not try to convince them. This happened at a meet once, someone said that they liked my doll fine, and loved the concept but had problems since it was a particular sculpt, I told them what I liked about the sculpt, and they told me what they did not like...funny thing is what I loved was what annoyed them. I suspect this is very often the case, as doll likes are very personal.



On that final note I reiterate: Have a personal opinion, discuss it on a personal level, but it is never right or justified to embarrass or hurt someone in a public forum. DoA IS a public forum, so we need to be mindful of public manners, protocol, and the difference between personal opinion and public debate. It may also behove people to remember personal is not the same as important. Think before you speak, ask "am I lessened or the world lessened if I choose NOT to make that comment?" if it is negative it will cause negative feeling, if there is no benefit to the world at large by saying it, and no detriment for NOT saying it, why one earth would you say it?

 

Exactly! We seem to be in perfect agreement there.

My confusion, though, isn't over thread avoidance specifically. That part I get. What interests me, and what I am curious about, has a few logic hops in it that may genuinely be too much NyQuil kickin' my tail.

First, the idea that has cropped up in a few places where people wonder about why some companies or sculpts get more views than others -- which suggests an 'all things being equal' reality that doesn't exist in the first place. Some things are just more popular than others, people have preferences, and so on. From time to time, it seems as though some posters want people to disregard those preferences to make 'all things equal', and spend time looking at, and commenting on, everything, regardless of their preferences. Considering that one of the elitism debates in this forum even has a 'are you more likely to look at a thread that has <Company> sculpts?' as a potential sign of elitism right in the main post, the notion of not paying equal attention to all things being somehow a negative trait in the eyes of some members of the community is not as far-fetched (at least to me) as it might seem.

Second, if people are feeling they are -required- to say nice things when they have a negative opinion -- not just keep silent on a negative opinion, but actually -say- something that must be positive -- could the mentality above be a factor there?

 

That's the way I feel about it too. Most of the time I feel no need to comment on things that aren't to my taste--why would I? It doesn't interest me to begin with, and the owners of that doll don't need my opinion of it.

The times I do comment is usually down to keeping my eyes open for new bodies on the market. I have a lot of hybrids, and I like a range of body types, so if it's a new body or if an old body with some new engineering, then I'm usually curious to see what it looks like. If something seems off about it I may or may not comment depending on the tone of the thread. Sometimes it's interesting in threads like that when people do more fully discuss the new body or whatever, because it is something that's new on the market that people don't have full experience with. Sometimes if there's something I don't like, I want to talk my way through it as well as read the opinions of others, because I want to understand what I'm seeing and what might be throwing me off. This doesn't happen very often, but I can think of a couple of occasions where I did comment more critically in situations like that.

 

One other thing to consider when expressing an opinion about dolls by a company (as opposed to a doll someone personally owns) is that sometimes the company takes note of the comments and makes some improvements to the doll design. That's just good business sense. If there's something I think could be improved about a company's product or service, I like to say so, because if enough other people say so they might do something about it.

 

I understand your point entirely Surreality and Hobbywhelmed. I guess the difference for me is that I'm still figuring out what I like and don't like, and am happy to mosey around threads and galleries surrounding dolls I've never heard of or otherwise didn't have much interest in.

Also, I can't be the only one who's checked a thread for a sculpt that they are fond of only to find that it has been styled up in a way that you just don't like. I'm sure everyone has had that happen a few times at least.

 

i have to admit i don't love every doll on here but i tend to go by the rules
of if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all ^-^ why be a
downer on something that somebody loves? Everyone has different tastes, i think you
should be able to say that you don't like it but you shouldn't be mean or rude about it :3

 

I honestly don't care if someone likes my doll choices or not- I Like them, which is what matters to me. I feel like it's perfectly okay to express my opinions of other dolls here- so long as I do it with tact and take care to remember that if somebody said my Mikah looked like a cheap knockoff barbie, I'd probably sock them in the facial region. Thus, the golden rule: treat others the way you wish to be treated.
And no, I don't think it's a good idea to say something nice about all dolls even if you don't like them- sometimes, other people sharing their (polite) opinions about a sculpt has helped me decide if I like it or not- for example, some people thing Shiwoos have rather long, pointed noses. You can't really tell that dead on, and photos are okay, but seeing how many people agree with that can help you decide if you want that or not. (And I have a Shiwoo, and do in fact plan to file down his nose a bit.)
Honestly, we should be able to share our opinions freely here- within reason, and with discretion. We're all adults here- and if we're not, then there are enough adults here that it should be more carefully handled than that.