Do you hide your hobby from certain people?

I've told my parents, and I show them everything I do with my girl. My mom is really enthusiastic about it and she loves it! I can tell it creeps my dad out a little, but he never says anything negative.

My partner knows and he's also enthusiastic about my hobby like my mom.

However, most of my friends and coworkers don't know. And if I have told them anything, they don't quite understand the scope of it lol. But honestly, I don't care about what they think as long as it doesn't affect my professional life.

 

I don't hide it from my family, because I live with most of them. I don't hide it from friends, because if they're the kind of people who would make fun of my hobbies, then I don't think they need to be my friends. That said, I don't go out of my way to show my dolls off any more, and I don't really take them out in public any longer. My big guys really do alarm people (and are kind of a handful, besides); the small girls I'm more worried about losing or damaging.

 

I don’t hide it from anyone, but it’s not like I’m gonna scream it to world (not THAT crazy lol). If people ask about my hobbies I tell the truth. I’ve never heard anyone call me names, but I’ve heard people say dolls are creepy and whatnot, and some ARE a little creepy, but that’s my opinion, not necessarily evryone else’s.

 

Yes and no. I'm a lot more open about it now to the point where I'm okay posting pics of my girls on FB, and a lot of my coworkers know about them as well. If they don't like it, that's fine-- I'm not going to go actively approaching them about stuff I'm working on. I understand that this hobby isn't necessarily everyone's cup of tea.

 

I don't exactly hide it from anyone but I don't talk about the hobby much after getting some hate from ex-friends, so I don't know how many of my friends actually know I'm a BJD fan.

I DO however have a couple of friends who have a phobia of dolls that I hide from doll posts. I feel like respecting peoples fears is important so I made a post asking a while back and try to keep them in mind whenever photos are taken.

 

I actually don't hide it at all...! Most social media sides I am on do have doll posts or I use my dolls as profile pictures. I often post my progress pictures as well even though there are few to none in my friends lists and stuff who've even an idea what these dolls are and what I am doing with them.
I want people to accept me exactly how I am and the BJD hobby simply is a part of me... If they don't like my dolls but still accept that I have them, that's fine by me. If they don't like them and tell me rude things about them or something I simply let them walk out of my life and when they want to come back I'd not let them back in as long as they do not accept my dolls.
If anyone would give me a reason why they can't deal with them like an actual phobia or something like that I'd understand of course. That's not their fault that they have a phobia. So I accept and would put the dolls aside if someone like that would visit me. As long as they don't judge me for owning them anyways.

 

I hide it from most people because I'm worried they'll think it's childish or creepy, because people have told me it is in the past. Hopefully I can get past it soon so I can make some doll friends!

 

Sometimes, I bring it up to my very close friends because it's something I am truly passionate about. There are certain people who'd I rather not know about my hobby because they can be quite judgemental, so I do not tell them about it. If they do ask me about it, I'd give vague responses and try to change topics.

 

Having bjd as a hobby for a guy is not a social norm. When they know about your hobby people's typical reactions or remarks would be "are you an otaku? are you gay? are you so lonely that you need a doll?" and those remarks make you feel abnormal from other. I hide my doll in my drawer and only take her out when I'm alone in my room.

So what were your friends reaction?

 

My friends I suppose...are friends and accepting of any insane hobby I have. Be it cultivating Venus Fly traps, collecting dolls, or binge watching horror movies. Sure guy friends tend to give guy friends more 'crap' about things...but confidence is usually best when it comes to who you are and what you like. So what you collect dolls? Point out that in this hobby a T-shirt goes for 30 bucks...and eyes that cost 50 cents to make can be resold for 15-50 dollars. Thats what my husband does.

Our dolls are all sitting on a hobby table in our office and there have been times people have seen them not knowing what we collect (I'm a private yet open person. I don't blurt out everything about myself but if someone were to ask I'm not ashamed, my husband is the same way) and have raised a suspicious eye to them. We just break down the fact they're like artist dolls, my husband can make money painting them (Face ups), we both sew/create for them and its a way to productively enjoy our creative hobbies. Why should I make a bust of Groot when I can design and plan my own doll of a similar fashion and make hundreds of dollars off of it? Why should I only sew costumes for my kid when I can scale them down further and make more money selling them? I like making doll furniture...sure BJDs are bigger...but the price also increases with what I create.

I guess we're also old enough that typically once our friends see a doll in a dress and find out we made most of its outfit they are just like "Man, you could make money off of this"....

 

Wow! I envy those who have such artistic talent and that's a huge leverage since there are more collectors than makers.

 

I don't have much patience for people that are mean about my hobbies. Most of my friends humor me or enjoy hearing about them and seeing pictures, but i do have one friend who is scared of dolls. i respect her by not showing her pictures or bringing it up much, and she respects me by not being mean about them when it does inevitably come up, lol.

 

my friends know (because i never shut up about my dolls lol) and for the most part they're supportive or neutral, but i'm friends with mostly girls, nb people, and lgbt folks, who tend to be more accepting of just. everything fun and good.

to be blunt, if your friends think owning a doll makes you "gay" and say that like it's a bad thing, you need new friends, these people are just.... no good. like what are they, 12 years old in 2006..... lmao
"are you an otaku"... is there anything 'wrong' with that? do your friends not know or care about your interests? based on your avatar, i'm assuming you at least have a passing interest in anime. "friends" who would really make fun of you beyond light consensual teasing are not your friends. they're bullies.
"are you so lonely that you need a doll?" that's kind of a gender neutral thing, i think a lot of women collectors get asked the same thing. some people do get dolls because they're lonely! i don't think it's unusual or weird of bad at all. the best you can reply with is probably just "no"? although with how your friends sound i wouldn't blame you at all for being lonely, i know i would be. ;__;

i'm just curious, why did you get your doll?
because whatever the reason, it's honestly completely valid, and should more than suffice for anyone who asks "why do you have this thing".
"because she's cute" or "because i wanted her and i can do what i want with my own money" are totally reasonable responses to someone who's being judgemental about doll ownership.

i think the fact that bjd can be more realistic can lend itself well too "she's creepy don't you think?" and pass yourself off as a horror enthusiast. that being said, you shouldn't feel obligated to display your dolls. if you don't want to or don't feel comfortable, you don't have to. i don't think it's terribly uncommon for people to keep their dolls in drawers or boxes and only take them out for play.
i keep all of my dolls in their boxes just because i'm paranoid about yellowing. :P

i guess what's important though is that there's nothing wrong with going against social norms. "social norms" change with the times (pink used to be a boys colour, and young boys used to wear dresses!), and are also usually just put in place to keep the most privileged people in power. at this point that's basically "stereotypical straight men" so struggling to fit into social norms is honestly pointless. trying to fit into a stereotype is ridiculous because you are a person! and people are multifaceted, no one can fit perfectly into any box made by another person. your friends probably also have "girly" interests that they've hidden because they don't want to be seen as "gay" or whatever.

i have friends with a huge variety of interests, ranging from making their own bread cultures and jazz to vulture culture and programming to fashion and film production to ghost hunting and lego fanfiction. variety is the spice of life and if your friends can't appreciate that, perhaps it's time to move along. it's harsh, but it can be for the best.

sorry if this sounds super presumptuous and harsh, but in my experience it's best to just not tolerate people who make fun of people for being different or enjoying something. i've suffered a lot of bullying over the years, especially in my youth, but as an adult, i can say for sure that it's much better to have friends you can be yourself with.

tl;dr
your friends sound like dicks love your doll be different it's awesome

 

My dolls are not a secret, and were never meant to be. Hiding them is near impossible with 22/23 soon. They're an extension of me and something I enjoy. I do not sit there and chastise people for the things they enjoy, and htey shouldn't do it to me. (Unless it's harming them in some way. Lol)
Some friends get it and though they don't care for the dolls, they know I enjoy them and are happy for me.
Some friends like them
Some friends don't get it and probably just don't comment.

But in the end, my dolls exist for me and no one else, so I don't take others personal opinions to heart.

 

My dolls are a secret. My friends don't know about them. My family; my sisters know I collect them. One of them is pretty neutral about it but the other thinks I'm crazy and strange. I got a bjd for my mom's birthday once and she loves her. She doesn't know about my collection though lol :p

 

Ugh... I hate people asking others if they're gay like it's an insult. I'm very sorry if you've had to endure something like that. I'm honestly really happy to see that there are males too in the hobby since it is so creative and having lots of different people in the community also gives a lot of different views on the topic and new input. It's a shame some have to hide it 'cause it is not a "social norm".

I actually never told my current friends about my dolls, mostly because the topic never came up and I just recently got back into it. But to be honest I have a bunch of male friends and a bunch of hobbies that do not comform to social norms (like cosplay, an obsession with painting foxes or inventing fictional characters/stories) so they have made fun of me for other hobbies before. I usually don't care too much and just tease them back. Like I make fun of soccer in front of that one friend who likes to call me a furry and happens to be a big soccer fan. I think me just standing firm to my interests and not letting them spoil it for me makes them more accepting somehow? Idk how to describe it any better, but that's how it feels.

Anyways as long it’s just simple teasing it isn’t too bad, but as soon as it gets hurtful it is better to call the people out (in a polite manner) on what they do wrong even if it means risking the friendship.

 

I literally don't have any friends. After college I kind of became a social recluse. So... Yay me! Strange girl with dolls and no human friends!

But I've told a couple co-workers and my family and they all are ok with it. At least to my face. But the golden rule is NEVER tell them how much it costs. Because then they will think you need to see a doctor for help.

 

I've never received rude remarks like the such you've mentioned above. There were a mixture of responses I had from telling people about my hobby. Some of them thought it was creepy, but remained neutral and respectful about it. However, there were others who thought the dolls were cute, and were genuinely curious to learn more about them. Like I've mentioned, I've never encountered condescending responses from telling people about my hobby. I think it would be rather very impolite to respond that way to someone who is passionate about their hobby.

 

To be honest... your friends sound like huge jerks.

My friends and coworkers know about my collection. I'm pretty sure my mom is still referring to my first doll as her granddaughter, lol. I share photos on FB and Instagram of the crafting and styling I do as a hobby. One of my coworkers is very sweet and enthusiastic - if I say, "Wanna see the new thing I made for one of my dolls?" her face lights up and she says, "Of course!" My best friend doesn't really understand, but he respects that they make me happy.

I'm very lucky to have such understanding friends. I live in a neighborhood with a variety of people who have a variety of interests - the guy in the apartment above me makes very detailed things out of polymer clay, and my neighbor across the hall is a painter. Another neighbor is a classically trained French chef who views food as an art form.

It's easy for me to say, "You should ditch your 'friends' because they don't sound like they think about your feelings much," but I remember how hard it was to make even one friend when I was younger. If you can, try making a new friend or two - you can meet friends here and some of them may even live in your area! (Of course, observe proper rules of caution when meeting people from the internet for the first time.) Even just one friend who believes in you and your hobby can make a world of difference in your enjoyment of the hobby.

I hope you'll be able to find a solution that works for you, makes you happy, and lets you enjoy your doll.

 

Since I'm very passionate about the hobby, my dolls are no shock to my friends, but I don't go around telling anyone and everyone.

One of my good friends in the community is male and I have never considered him abnormal for it, though to the average person, it might seem odd that a man would collect dolls. However, to them it's odd that anyone would collect dolls worth hundreds of dollars, haha!