Do you keep the cost of your BJD's from your non BJD friends?

Fortunately, most of my friends are fans of anime, video games, and other forms of nerdiness, so they're quite familiar with hobbies that are expensive!

 

A few people mentioned how they learned the initial expenses of the hobby by asking. It made me think about when I first saw BJDs too. I was at an anime convention and spotted several people walking around with gorgeous dolls, many of them in cosplay or kimono or yukata. I screwed up my courage and asked an artist I'd bought something from about her doll. I asked how much it cost and whether I could buy something similar. I inadvertently offended her so much (for presuming a layperson like me could buy a limited doll, I suppose, or just the dollar amount in general) that I stopped asking and never considered buying a doll for myself. When I started researching I got even more discouraged by the prices...it wasn't until I started talking about the cost with my partner and my sister and a few other collector friends that I felt comfortable again. I'm lucky to know so many collectors that cost-shaming hopefully won't be an issue. And they're mature enough to appreciate that it's my money. If someone ever asks in the future, I'd be upfront about it. There's no point in maligning the hobby by complaining about the expense.

 

I sometimes like the shock value it initially sends people when they ask and get an answer. But other wise, I don't feel too compelled to tell everyone, especially my parents, how much I'm spending on "dolls". I once told someone how much a pair of handmade eyes I had bought my boy were, and they almost scolded me?
How I like to think of it is, everyone has something they spend "crazy" amounts of money on. But I use the word "crazy" loosely, as each hobby has it's own reasoning for the expensive price tag. Like BJDs! They're pieces of art, and there's a lot of artistic talent and years of skill that went into making these guys. As such, they're more than worth the price to me! Some people spend hundreds on shoes and purses and bags and clothes. I'm a thrift lover, so that just sounds so crazy and out of line to me! But, that's what they spend their money on. And the hobby is what I spend mine on. (:

 

I was raised to think it's impolite to ask people how much they paid for something and also impolite to brag about how much I paid for something. Depending on the type of person asking I simply don't give an answer , implying that it's none of their business. I just refuse to feel guilty about spending that kind of money on something that I enjoy. People do not have the "right" to know everything, staring them in the eyes and saying " it's funny I don't look at it in monetary terms" is usually enough to stop the subject. It's all about feeling confident and refusing to divulge the information if you want to, it's amazing how people back off if you just stare them down.

 

I don't think I'd ever directly admit to someone how much BJDs cost to people I share them with because I am kind of defensive about how I spend my money. I'm a college student but I have 'expensive tastes', so I generally save pennies and budget and cut corners to be able to afford nice things for myself (which is what I'm doing for my first doll now, with a little help from some birthday cash). It takes me time to get to my goals and I work hard for what I want, and I don't spend frivolously or buy what I won't have an investment in and functionality for me. However, people who don't know me just assume I drop money on stuff impulsively without care - or so I fear - so I don't like to talk about price tags. Especially with dolls, which is a hobby I am a bit secretive and defensive about in the first place.

 

I could care - kind of open info on the Internet anyway. At work (where I opened several doll packages LOL) I got all sorts of reactions (the 'oooh, creepy', the 'OMG he's got junk' , the 'wow, so heavy', as well as 'how lovely' etc). I've always made references to the fact that they aren't cheap. My DAUGHTERS are the ones that have made references to the cost (as in, 'you spend $$$ on dolls, but not on me' kind of complaints....) They really aren't serious tho, it's just attempts to get more $$ from their loving mother LOL
I have not mentioned actual costs to my OWN mother - she's sure they are expensive but she's in her 80s, & tends to worry about stuff a LOT more than she should. So I send her photo-books & mention how the dolls are art objects to prevent those conversations

 

I try not to, even if they bring it up I try to dodge the question. Dx Honestly, I've always had expensive taste and I've ALWAYS felt judged by my friends over it. I'm NOT wealthy at all, but whatever free/"fun" money I get, I like to spend on nice clothes/handbags or dolls. People around me seem to see those things as frivolous, and I feel like they look down on me for it. I've had friends call me "rich" or spoiled based on my handbags, not knowing my family's actual income and that I can only buy those very occasionally, on sale, at outlets, LMAO. It just kind of sucks to feel like they view me as some kind of spoiled brat and don't realize my family actually does struggle financially. It's just that when I *do* have the money I choose to spend it on things they see as frivolous/rich people things.
So yeah, I try not to let people find out how much my stuff costs....

 

I personally dont open up about my doll and plush hobbies to those who arent close to me!! People here look at you funny, thinking "are you still a child?" Just becaue youre into dolls! Not knowing the art and beauty beyond it being a doll. I started to like pullips at first and slowly changed to BJD's what really got me hooked on to BJDs was the fact that they are really customizable and posable! I spend hours just fixing the hair and about 3-4hours just for the pose! =D Some people just dont understand that and judge us instead. Quite close minded i believe!! T.T

 

i'm like dominique and was raised to consider it impolite to ask/talk about prices. as a result it always bothers me when people ask how much things cost, it just seems intrusive. the only time i talk actual prices is if it is with a person who is considering getting one of their own, then i would give a realistic range so they would know what to expect.

 

I think it's kind of complicated.
This hobby alone is odd to a lot of people, unfortunately. Most of the people will start to judge and question you just by getting the information you own dolls without knowing the price in the first place.

It wouldn't be so complicated if this hobby was more common, so it would be normal to talk about it.

A doll as known by non-doll people has nothing to do with what we call dolls. They hear the term 'dolls' and think of barbies, making them freak out about hearing a bjd's price because they were assuming a slightly higher barbie's price.

It's just the same with me looking at fashion and accessories. When I hear other people spending 400€ in ONE shopping tour only returning with 3-4 pieces, my jaw drops immediately.

Unfortunately they are in advantage in defending their 'hobby' as it is more common than collecting dolls. And this is the main reason why it feels so hard to tell others how much our dolls are.

I don't smoke.
I don't like to go on parties.
I am okay with buying usual clothing.
Those are things others are paying their soul for, but I don't understand.

I like dolls.
I draw a lot.
I like video games.
Those are things I like to spend my money on, but others won't understand.

All of those things have indeed something in common: they are not needed to stay alive, but make us super happy. No matter if you like it or not, we should just tolerate each other.

 

Hello!
I dont tell people the price of my dolls. But my dolls arent here yet, so I dont know how I will react if someone asks me.
I do have a little story to tell though:

My parents are divorced and I live with my mom. My mom is the most supportive person I know, she wasnt a problem. She even motivated me, when I was sad because I knew I'd have to wait long untill I have the money for my doll. (I'm 16 btw.) But my father and his girlfriend always looked at me strange and as if I'm talking about buying a piece of paper for 3.000.000$. It made me feel so bad. I couldnt talk about BJD's when I was around them.

When I started researching for this hobby I started to feel really happy. I'm not really depressed right now, but I still find myself crying in the night. But I only have to look at my girls who will arrive soon and I get happy.

When people ask me why I'm in this hobbyI tell them that they help me with my sadness. If they're mean after that they are showing no respect or anything. They're most likely jealous because we have something we love.
I worked for these dolls. It's not like I was able to just buy one like that. I even sold my toys.

I wish people would be more accepting, especially family members.
Others buy make up, clothes or instruments, we buy dolls and there is no problem with that.

Please excuse my english! I'm trying my best!

Greetings from Germany-
Lina

 

My best friend and my husband I am 100% comfortable discussing costs with. My hubby and I have separate bank accounts, and in general what each of us spends is no matter to the other so long as the bills get paid. Hubby also is very supportive of my doll collecting, because he sees first hand how much fun I have just posing them, let alone knitting for them.
My best friend lives vicariously through me. She loves seeing my dolls, just not enough to spend the money and have them herself. Plus she really gets a kick out of seeing me "geek out" over the dolls, and attends shows with me whenever she can both to admire the pretty things, and to watch me.

But other than that, my not as close friends I don't bring up the subject. They know I collect, but I don't even discuss price on my Facebook page, because I don't want to encourage any judgey comments. These are people I might go out to dinner with occasionally, and would happily help out if they needed something. But it's not a close enough bond to discuss personal matters like what I spend on something (unless it is splitting the dinner check).

I am also part of the crowd that was raised to believe asking "What did you spend on that?" is actually a bit rude, even if you're family. Unless you were part of the financial decision first hand, it just wasn't/isn't your business.

Fortunately my not as close friends don't ask questions that I might not feel comfortable answering. Probably because we aren't close enough for them to feel comfortable asking in the first place. And I'm not remotely close with my family any longer, so there's no worries there, either.

 

While I wouldnt brag about expensive dolls, if I were asked I would tell them the cost. But if I was not asked the cost I would not mention it.

 

If they are curious and ask, I will say honestly. But I won't say "it's my doll and cost me 500$!" etc..

 

It's crass to talk about money. When people have asked, I gently steered them away from the topic.

 

I'm completely honest with them about it. They know how much my dolls cost me and rejoice with me when I get a new arrivlal/finish an outfit/prop/house... And I got my friend into it and she's saving up for her first doll.

 

I won't dance around the question of price if it's asked, but I definitely don't try to bring the price of my dolls into the conversation! I'm not really ashamed or embarrassed by the price of my girls, but at the same time I'd rather not have to listen to my friends/co-workers telling me how much of a waste of money they are or how silly it is of me to collect dolls. So far, everyone I've talked to about them has been lovely about it, but I'd prefer not to push my luck

 

I don't i'm very upfront about it. I have a lot of friends that would probably handle it casually, or pretend like they're going to knock it off its bench or mess up the hair or just try to mess with it in general - ok not a lot of friends just my brother - but any time they hear about just how much it was, they treat it with at least the respect that holding something fragile and expensive deserves, so there's benefit to telling them

 

Yeah I don't tell anyone about the costs of my dolls... no one understands, and then there is the explaining to do!