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Do you seek comfort from your dolls over friends?

Mar 13, 2010

    1. Yikes. No, dolls are for when REAL people aren't present to be my friends.
       
    2. I agree with this here.
       
    3. Kind of amusing and fits in here...

      From the webiste of F My Life:"Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML"

      Guys...um, please try not to let this happen too much. Especially when your BF/GF is standing RIGHT THERE. O_O

      It's fine sometimes, but when your boyfriend/girlfriend is there, please don't make them feel bad. Sometimes human comfort is good for you...even though I have actually done things like this...a lot.

      All little human comfort is good for you, or else you'll just end up feeling bad eventually even if the dolls make you feel better...eventually if you push humans or pets away you'll feel bad and lonely. ^^;;

      :) Silly boyfriend though! He should know his girlfriend better to know how much she loves her dolls too! :P
       
    4. Always.

      They're good listeners. It's therapeutic - there was a thread about the therapeutic qualities of dolls awhile back. Plus, Cecilia cheers me up! I can play with her hair, pose her, take pictures of her expressing my own emotions. It makes myself feel better and gives her more personality for me to relate to.

      Not to say a doll is a substitute for human comfort - people empathize in a way a doll can't. I'd prefer to be comforted by a human, i.e. my boyfriend, but he isn't around sometimes, and Cecilia takes his place.
       
    5. if a real person came to comfort me, i'd talk with him/her first. Ôo i think that girl is weird making the doll pass before her boyfriend (or girlfriend)
      the doll is there only in case i'm completely alone...
       
    6. Excuse me? You're saying someone in that situation should put someone else's feelings before their own, even though they're the one that's upset? I disagree very strongly with that.

      Some people prefer to be left alone with their feelings; they don't want someone else's physical proximity imposed on them like that. They just need a little time to themselves until they are ready to talk about it. There's nothing wrong with that; it is wrong however to override their wishes just because that's not the way you would handle it.

      Personally, I'm not too keen on physical contact anyway and prefer to keep hugs as brief as possible. When I get upset, I want to be left alone until I want to talk about it. I wouldn't talk to one of my dolls, but I might well just go sit with one for a while and quietly play with its hair, change its clothes or something, as a little distraction whilst I work through things in my own head. When I'm ready to talk, I will. Someone trying to comfort me before I'm ready will just get my back up and piss me off though. I'll share my feelings as and when I choose to - not because someone else thinks I should, and if they get butthurt because I don't want to take their comfort? Tough. It's my pain, not theirs.
       
    7. I'm yet another of those people who is, well, unwise to approach when I am angry or upset until I am ready to be around other people. In fact, being forced to be around other people during those times has led to a great deal of discomfort, drama, and general unpleasantness for all -- which is why I'll usually go do something else until I calm down enough to approach the issue without screaming/bawling/enough profanity that I think I've invented new curse words along the line/etc.

      Would I go to my dolls to talk it out? Well, no. I long ago learned the virtue of yelling/baffling/weeping at the ceiling (or a convenient tree if I am out of doors) until I've regained my zen enough to cope with other human beings, and since it's roughly the same thing to my way of thinking, all things considered, I don't really see a reason to change that habit much. Also, if something was staring blankly back at me throughout, in some of my worst moments, I can very easily envision wanting to smack the blank look off of its face -- NOT smart when that something costs an arm and a leg. Ahem. Better to yell and cry at things that don't look human for me if needed. ;)
       
    8. I wouldn't turn down a hug from a real live person to go to my dollies, but I have to say that if I'm feeling down they can sure put a smile on my face when I see them! :)
       
    9. I tend to turn inward when I am sick or hurt .So, for those times, when I usually just want to be left alone, yes.
      When I'm angry, I'll usually call a friend to vent....usually with a doll on my lap.;)
       
    10. Well, in a case like this, taking into account the fact that there is another person in the room might be intelligent, at least.

      My bests are that in a very short while, this useless idiot will be moaning to her dolls that her girl/boyfriend has left her for someone who actually has the ability to relate to people rather than plastic toys. :|
       
    11. No, what would be intelligent would be said girl/boyfriend understanding that she needed to be left alone for a while instead of trying to force their own form of comfort on her. If they can't respect her boundaries and wishes, then she's better off without them.
       
    12. :)Sometimes, there are things we just can't tell others but at the same time have difficulty keeping it all in. Then, it just so happens our lovely resin friends are there, watching, waiting patiently for you to vent out.:) It's easy for us to confide in them for in a sense, they are a realized part of us.
       
    13. Bringing myself in as an example here, I too would probably go to the doll. I wouldn’t totally shun a friend/family-member first though, just make my excuses and leave if I got too uncomfortable. And I probably wouldn’t talk to my doll or anything - I know he can’t react or offer words of wisdom - but I'd use him more as a distraction (just as people hug pillows or cuddly toys). In that respect drawing or writing or going for a walk or whatever would also be a way of venting, just something to take my mind off things until I can face the questions my friends/family would inevitably ask.


      As for the relationship question - my friends/family etc have a tendency to walk on eggshells around me after something like this happens, but I think they’d do that whether I went crying to them or went off by myself for a little while, anyway. If my doll happened to be there I doubt it’d matter to them; it's me they're concerned about.
       
    14. How many of you would prefer to speak to your dolls when you're having a hard time than speak to, say, a friend of boyfriend?
      I think it depends on the situation. I think I would moresoever express my feelings through my dolls if no one was around me. But, for me honestly whenever I get into a fight with my folks, I immediutly call my boyfriend up cuz I need to talk to somone who would calm me down. Most the time when I get upset he comes over and hugs me and pets my back and lets me cry and rant till I get all my feelings out. I just like somone actually there to hold you, when a doll could do but I don't exactly imagine that it would be as comforting as if it was a boyfriend/friend.

      Does this affect your relationship with those people?
      Yeah, I would imagine so honestly. I actually feel for the guy up there. I'd be upset too if a close friend/boyfriend just walked past me when I opened up my arms up to them, but people get there feelings out in diffrent ways so I understand the girlfriends side too.
       
    15. When there's no one actually in the same room with me or anywhere near I might find distraction in my dolls. But otherwise no, I talk to friends.
      You can't 'talk things out' with friends, and I think that's a very important piece of processing things.
      I prefer human flesh to talk to and be comforted by. And if that's not around, I would probably stalk one of my cats for attention (they somehow seem to feel when I'm sad so they usually come to me), and if they're not around I might go fiddle with my dolls.
       
    16. Depending on the situation of course, sometimes I highly prefer to be around comfort items rather than people. I don't like to talk about my feelings so in those cases, I would much rather spend time alone, possibly with dolls, art, books, and so on, over a person. Sometimes the issue is so stupid and trivial, and not something I want to whine to my boyfriend or friends about. I don't actually talk to my dolls, but spending time with them, or other things like reading a book, writing, etc. are all comforting in their own ways. Not everyone wants or needs human interaction to feel chipper again. Also, sometimes the closest person around isn't the best to confide in about certain things.
       
    17. I would go to my doll first, just to get the horrible weepiness or screams of rage out of the way without feelings like I'm being stared at, but once I was sure I wouldn't make a fool of myself, I'd go straight to someone else.
       
    18. I do if I'm just having a fustraiting day and Caché calms me down. Proably because I knwo he'll always be there, listen, and won't talk back X3 Although, sometimes its hard to just talk to a person.
       
    19. How many of you would prefer to speak to your dolls when you're having a hard time than speak to, say, a friend of boyfriend?
      I do. I went to college out of state and I'm the only one I know from my old school who came here. I have friends here but not really good ones who I want to tell everything to like I did back in AZ. Unfortunatly since we are apart we can't talk as much so instead I chat with my dolls :)

      Does this affect your relationship with those people?
      It doesn't really since we know we can't tell everything to each other when we only see each other a couple of days a year. We AIM but I still can't tell them everything in that format.
       
    20. No, intelligent, if she really talks to dolls rather than humans, which I still think means she has serious issues, would be at least taking two minutes to explain she needs alone time. Please bear in mind that s/he was actually in the room, and deserved some consideration. You know, communicating like an actual human being who respects the presence of other human beings, not marching past him and chatting to a bunch of dolls like a completely dysfunctional weirdo. People who are functioning normally psychologically simply do not ignore someone in the room, someone they are in a relationship with, in favour of inanimate objects who don't care if they're happy, sad or have just fallen under a truck. How pathetic is that? Humans aren't there to take off the shelf only when you feel you need them/can use them. If you're in a relationship, there are certain things in the way of empathy and consideration that are required in order to be part of that relationship, and she - well, she talks to her dolls instead. Total fail.

      And how on earth does being ready to offer comfort translate to forcing anything on her? As far as we can see, s/he just went online and posted, justifiably, about how the situation and her rude and self-centred behavior sucks.

      Most of the people here saying they go to their dolls don't mean by rejecting anyone around, and for many of them, it's because they don't have immediately available support networks. That's a different thing.

      I'm pretty sure the one better off without their partner is her partner, and given s/he's posting to FML, I think the lucky escape is imminent. :) I wish them all the best. The crazy doll lady... well, she can whine to her dollies about it and pretend they care, I guess.