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Do you seek comfort from your dolls over friends?

Mar 13, 2010

    1. Because an upset person is clearly rational and thinking about the feelings of someone else whilst being upset?

      I'm not sure I under the....vehemence with which you seem to feel that this person has been horribly wronged, and considering they posted to FML, which is a humour site, I highly doubt this was a soul wounding experience. There is nothing to suggest the girlfriend does this consistently, and again, plenty of people do not want to talk to someone or be held or touched when upset and want alone time. It does not mean they are sociopaths incapable of having relationships, which you seem to feel. It means they have different reactions to stress and different coping mechanisms.

      Did the person ask for comforting? Based on the little snippet we have, they did not, thus, they did not want it at that time.
       
    2. Let's give the poor girl the benefit of the doubt, shall we? Maybe her boyfriend is horrible at comforting. Maybe she was fighting with her mom about him, and needed to talk to anyone but him. Maybe he exaggerated when he reported the situation, because he's had an issue with her dolls all along. We have no idea. I don't see the point in picking on someone who's upset and seeks comfort the best way they know how.
       
    3. I agree with the distraction thing. When I'm angry/ upset I definitely enjoy doing things alone such as painting/ playing games/ working on crafts or my dolls but I'd NEVER choose these options if my boyfriend or best friend is sitting right there. Nothing beats getting a real life human bear hug... I'd much rather get a nice hug and then talk about it. But if I'm all alone, these activities can comfort me until I have someone to talk to.

      But of course, if the person who's right there with me is the one I'm mad at, I might go work on my own things for a bit while I cool down. XP
       
    4. It really depends on what kind of upset I am. Am I emotional and crying or super angry? When I am just really really angry I do tend to want to talk to some one but my husband would really rather prefer I handled it by hanging with my dolls cause I tend to get loud and unpleasant. I have never been the best with people and I learned the hard way that you can't always trust the people you want to trust. So I am more likely to turn to an inanimate object and a book or music to soothe me through a bad time than a real human. A doll, stuffed animal or pet isn't going to judge you, or talk back, or betray you like another person might. When I am feeling really hurt I tend to totally withdraw and I may seek comfort in the familiarity of a doll or stuffed animal that I am attached to. I don't want human contact. If I am angry I turn up loud angry music and try to forget it or demand that hubby take me some where to get my mind off of it.

      I do not think it has prevented me from having healthy relationships. I've been married 9 years now, hubby is quite well acquainted with my coping habits and it doesn't bother him. My natural distrust may cause me to keep other people at a bit of a distance, but I still manage to have close friends and a pretty average life.
       
    5. I don't, um, want this to turn into a huge argument, and I don't blame the girl for doing so. I really just wanted to share the snippet I got and know what y'all thought.

      I agree with iris0110, if someone loves you and truly understands how you deal with things, it shouldn't be an issue. Plus, unlike a diary, the contents of your venting can't really be read by people you don't want seeing.
       
    6. I'm the exact same way.

      Also I wouldn't say I seek them out over my friends for comfort but sometimes after a long week of work and school all I want to do on the weekend is just sit at home and play with my dolls haha. I think its more of me wanting to be lazy, than actually preferring the company of my dolls over my friends.
       
    7. I'd never specifically seek comfort from a doll over comfort from a person any more than I could seek comfort in, say, a movie than a person. Yes, dolls can be a nice distraction, but they'll never offer you advice, never have a heartbeat, never get you tissues when you cry, never truly listen, and never understand at all. They can offer a distraction just like a movie, but you're still alone - the dolls are no more real than the characters on screen (and bear with me in assuming the movie is a fictional one and you don't have some deep, spiritual connection to a true-story type of thing). They're tangible, but cold and lifeless. I can understand wanting to seek distraction in dolls, nothing wrong with that at all. However, walking right past a vulnerable, offering human trying to help you to choose your dolls over them seems outright mean. I also think taking other people into consideration even when you're feeling bad is the right thing to do. It's a very childish thing to do to assume it's all about me me me me me when I'm upset, the world doesn't revolve around me just because I've had a bad day. All this said, dolls are probably not a healthy substitute for humans all the time, though once in a while, people just need to be alone. And the girl in the FML who rejected her S.O. for her dolls probably seriously hurt the S.O.'s feelings, otherwise they wouldn't have posted on FML and I feel that they are owed an apology.
       
    8. Yes, I do. Because I don't have any real-life friends and I can't get ahold of any of my online-friends in real time. I would have to send a message and wait who knows how long for a reply. My dolls are always available.
       
    9. A few years ago I move 2000 miles away from my family, my friends and to be honest from everyone I knew. I'm pretty good at adjusting to change but it was still hard. There were many nights when I would spend time dressing and redressing my dolls, doing photo stories and yes, even talking to them (sorta, more like thinking aloud) but this comfort was so important to help me with the transition to living so far away.
       
    10. Only when I've had a horrible day and just can't put up with people anymore (which is often- I love my friends, but I'm so introverted that I need several hours to myself everyday to recharge) so I tug the doll out of the closet, put in a movie or something and cuddle for a bit, and it makes me feel better ^_^
       
    11. While inanimate objects can provide a sort of comfort they're no substitute for a real friend. Sure, sometimes folks need to be alone while they cry but I always worry a bit when people substitute dolls for people. I never really confide in my dolls, that's reserved for my best friends & if I need something to hold while I cry, I prefer a soft warm cat body to a piece of resin. My dolls are strictly for fun & stress relief.
       
    12. It really depends. If I'm by myself physically, I'll seek comfort from my doll (in addition to texting or emailing with my best friend, usually) and hug him or pose or pet him. I did this earlier when I was pretty distraught over having to return a doll, haha.

      But if my best friend is there with me, I'll go to her first, absolutely. I would never ignore the comfort of a person who loves me. Also, she gives better hugs than Hakkai does. ;P
       
    13. ...Sometimes, randomly, if I had a bad day or whatever, I take them out of their boxes and stare at them, move them around a little bit ...and then put them back, lol. ;~;
      I feel so weird doing that... but I'm not one to talk to anyone about my problems, so I wouldn't talk to an inanimate object to begin with. But I just like the fact that they're just there... and they're there because of me... and it makes me feel kinda happy... I know, I'm lame...
       
    14. If no one else was around to comfort me during my own time of need, of course I'd go running to my dolls seeking comfort. However, if there was someone available, I'd go to them first. So I guess it just depends on the situation, really.
       
    15. I don't think I'd seek comfort in my dolls over my fiancee, but I do seek comfort in conjunction with him. I usually always have a doll with me in my purse, so when something good or crappy happens I have "someone" to share (typically nonverbally) my feelings with when he's not around.

      If my fiancee has pissed me off though (and my friends aren't around, which is most likely the case since I live a bit far from them), then I go to my dolls first ;)
       
    16. Well, I talk to my dolls anyway, and sometimes tell them what's wrong with me and stuff.
      But that doesn't really influence my relationship with other people..
       
    17. I dont talk to my doll or go to her for comfort. She is my pretty hobby but that is it.
      When I have a problems I go to my bf or my friends. Whoever will give me the best comfort or advise.
      I love my doll but I would not chose to hang out with her over people.
      But, that's just me.
       
    18. The hell.

      If it's something serious and someone picks a doll over a person, then that's just wrong.
       
    19. How many of you would prefer to speak to your dolls when you're having a hard time than speak to, say, a friend of boyfriend?
      Eh. I’m talking with my dolls all the time ^^’ (no secret info will ever slip through their lips ;)) I don’t like when someone is “throwing in their opinion” on my situation too soon after any freak-out-time I have and sometimes I’m just more comfortable with the only reaction being resin squeak.
      But NEVER could I go just so past my boys without saying them a single word. Then again, my roommates are great and always ask like “shall I hug you or hide quickly” for knowing well my “mood swings” even in being upset.

      Does this affect your relationship with those people?
      Not at all and I know they’re nothing better than me, although they don’t tend to "talk so much" (A few times were caught holding one of them while reading a book (or pretending to read it).
       
    20. It depends on the situation and the setting. Usually - if not always - I go to my fiance/hubby for comfort. If I'm at the campus, my friends comfort me. If I'm alone, I have my doll comfort me - if I have no one else to turn to.