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Doll Bonding. Can you, or can't you?

Oct 3, 2010

    1. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      I personally can. I can bond with a lot of things - that is, develop an emotional investment in them. I tend to personify things an awful lot. I blame being a writer; it's my job to think of emotions and personalities.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      Being very happy and comfortable with your doll, owning your doll for a long time, developing personality and backstory further.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I like bonding. :)

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      I've had years and years to bond with Cesavier, although I adored him at first sight. It's taken me longer to be more comfortable with Seraphine but I was in awe of her when she arrived too. I'm already fawning all over Neeko and he's not even here yet.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      I've never not bonded with a doll. It's hard to fall out with something that can't talk.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      I consider it a talent. Besides, I think characters are real in a way - if they exist in your head then they're real, although it's important not to lose sight of the physical, factual world.
       
    2. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      Yep, I can.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      It took me a while to understand what it meant for me to "bond" with a doll, but I realized it's just a feeling of happiness that a doll gives me. Each doll is different, they don't all give me the same feeling but I know I've bonded with each doll I have now. I've bonded with some of my dolls stronger than the others, but I still love them all. Developing a character, finishing a doll and enjoying their aesthetic enhance that bond. It's also a feeling of emotional attachment and sentiment towards the doll.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      It's alright, I can't really think of a better word to describe it.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      I've bonded immediately and also not bonded at all with a doll.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      Yes. I had planned for an angelic character and when the doll arrived he had a snarky expression which I didn't expect and it just didn't work. I had no idea what else to do with him so I sold the head and gave the body to one of my floating heads. Another doll was a tiny, and while super adorable, he just wasn't my cup of tea.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      In my opinion, the majority of people can "bond", or become attached to inanimate objects. I know a lady who is attached to her DVD collection and I would say that she has bonded with it. It's something she treasures above any other object. I know guys who have emotional investment in guns, cars, etc. So no, I don't think it's weird at all.
       
    3. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      Yes. I would hate not to be able to bond with a doll. For me it's a really important element of the hobby and I have a hard time understanding how people who don't bond with their dolls feel about them. Or rather, I do understand but I feel I would be unsatisfied with such a stance. I'm quite an emotional person and I enjoy having people around me, and as dolls look so much like people I project the same desires onto them.

      What does the term
      "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      It means an emotional, sentimental attachment to a doll that transcends aesthetics, value, or other circumstances. To me, it extends to hearing a doll "talk" in its own unique voice that shows its personality and character history. Of course it's not like a voice like real people have but it's definitely a real experience. I think it helps that I'm a writer - I'm used to creating personalities where none existed previously.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I think it's a very apt term. My dictionary says that to bond is to "create emotional ties" and that fits my experience.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      Some dolls I have bonded with instantaneously. Others took more time. It depends on how I am feeling at that point in time and also on the doll's character. My dolls who are shyer or more guarded are harder to bond with, I've found, sometimes.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      It's caused me to consider selling a doll when it took me a few months to establish a bond. I don't give up very easily and so I gave it more time and now there's definitely a strong bond. If that had happened, I would have sold.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?

      Yes, and no. People who don't "get it" would doubtless think it weird because the bond is one-sided. But it's also quite natural, as a human, to want to build ties with the things around you. It's a kind of social thing, in an odd way. It's about nurture and companionship and emotions. So yes, weird, but not bad - I'd say it's good!
       
    4. I've known people who feel guilty for throwing away a broken cup so that tells me how easily inanimate objects can be bonded with. I do believe that it's possible to just not bond with a doll, I was lucky, my first and only doll I've grown attached to.
      However, when I first opened the box I was...happy but not ecstatic. There were facial features the pictures didn't show (like visible teeth) and at first I thought that was not my cup of tea but the more I dressed her and played with her wig the more I began to think the teeth were cute and her face was pretty and now I love looking at her. I'm currently making her a fancy gown and then I will show her off, but not before I'm satisfied with her outfit, I'm a little OCD about wanting to show her off looking her best.

      I think if I hadn't bonded with her I would have sold her to buy another doll, she's my first and it would have been a shame to not love my first bjd. Hopefully she would then have found a home with someone who did love her, however this was not needed but yes I would have sold her.

      I personally think the term bonding can give high expectations for new doll owners, I was concerned when I didn't immediately love my doll but last year I got a kitten and it took a day or two for me to love him, I had to get to know him and I think the same thing is needed with dolls. I won't exactly say you need to get to know them but for some their dolls have personalities so it is a matter of getting to know them.
       
    5. I guess I wanted to look through this thread because the topic of bonding sort of intrigues as well as confuses me. I'm glad to have gained some insight to it and know that I'm not the only one who feels just how I do, and at the same time I have my own point of view I suppose.

      Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      For me, I'm not really sure, I really like and enjoy my one doll I have. I enjoy making things for her and setting up a space for her and having her sit near/on my computer desk while I do stuff and taking pictures of her. I would say that I'm attached to her as something that I own, and I enjoy spending time doing doll-related things.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      It seems sort of like this mythical higher entity of the doll world that lets people know whether or not they should or should not like their doll or be their best friend or something like that. Sometimes it occurs to me as a little silly, or maybe I just don't understand it yet.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I think there could be a better word, but I'm drawing a blank for one...I don't understand the context of selling something and saying 'we didn't bond' versus 'this doesn't fit my personal style' or 'this doesn't match what I already have' or something along those lines. You can't just say about an article of clothing or a gaming system or a book even that you didn't 'bond with it.' About a book (which I own many of that I truly could never sell and have read over and over) you could say it just doesn't suit you, but there's always an underlying reason why...structure, pace, theme, ect. I'm sure if you really thought about it you could find reasons for/against not 'bonding' with a doll.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      I only have one doll, and I feel like I did good at researching and waiting for a couple owner photos to be taken (she's from a newer company) before making the purchase. I had photoshopped how I wanted her to look with her wig and was set on what eye colors I would or wouldn't like (I was SUPER lucky to have gotten random eyes in the color I wanted most). I made things for her and prepared a space for her before she was even here. Opening her when she arrived home was a lot of fun, and I was really very impressed with how well made she was and at the same time I was terrified that I would break her. For the sake of the general doll community to understand - I would say yes we have bonded. She was meant to be an alternate version of one of my roleplaying characters - one that I had not had for a long time and hence had not fully developed the plotline of. I think that part really helped me, when I look at her or 'play' with her or make stuff for her to wear or go in her room, I get more ideas for her characters story - and what is she doing on Earth anyways? (I had also constructed a sort of modern day persona for her in case I felt I couldn't handle her not looking exactly like my actual character - which I'm fine with. If I ever get another head for my girl I'd commission a faceup of her 'actual' character with her scars and battle paint, but for now I enjoy pretty things and I don't care to creep out my family too too much. ^^) I think the looseness of the story in my head for this character helps me to enjoy this doll more..I know if I had gotten one of my long time characters as a doll and their skintone wasn't right or their eyes weren't the right color or I didn't have their signature outfits it wouldn't seem like them. It's sort of fun not knowing everything about the character you are living with, but scary at the same time. :3


      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      I've only had one doll and I haven't had her very long, but I know I'm very possesive of what is mine and therefore I could never sell her. Even if I lost interest in playing with her or making stuff for her she's still pretty and I would keep her to look at sometimes and put her on the shelf or my desk to sit on the weekends. (even though it gets really dusty and I find myself appaled when I blow on her eyeballs to remove the dust Dx)

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      Yes and no, I would say that there can be a 'taking it too far.' To think that these dolls could actually walk and talk and stuff is a neat idea (Angelic Layer...Rozen Maiden..that's cool and all but not a true thing ^^) but they can't so I think it's just fine to enjoy them for what they are whether it be representation of a character or a prop for a cosplay or just a decorative bookshelf guardian or what have you. However, as previously mentioned, there are some things you just keep that hold/represent memories within them. My grandmother a long time ago gave me a small smooth stone, just a plain pebble really and told me that I should have it. It was a 'worry stone' and that over the years of her rubbing it to help her stop worrying about live it had grown completely smooth - whether this is true or a simple story doesn't matter, but just having the stone in case I am worried about something reminds me that I'm not the only one who has worried about something and that things will get better or the stone will just become ever smoother and life will go on. I keep that stone in my jewelry box and would never think of throwing it away, even though it is simply a stone.

      That's about it I think..the whole concept is nice and all but I don't like how it's used when selling a doll, I think it adds a negative connotation in that aspect. When I see sales threads with that in them I think 'well if they didn't bond with them, what caused that and would it affect me the same?' But who knows, each person thinks their own way. :)
       
    6. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      I did have a bond with my dolls but over time I guess I lost that interest

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      Getting closer to your doll, actually wanting to take them out with you a lot

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      Personally I don't think it matters what it's called

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      I bonded with all my dolls when they came home, right now I don't feel that bond I had

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      I want to sell an "old version" of my character that I bought a bigger body for but I haven't gotten around to do that

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      Not really
       
    7. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      I can. When I was younger I'd get attached to certain stuffed animals, and it carried over to dolls. I think it has a bit to do with bonding with the doll's character as well as the doll itself. The characters are very special to me, therefore the mini human versions of those characters are going to be special too.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      It means getting a little bit attached to the doll itself. I've already bonded with the character, now I'm acclimating myself to it's mini human version. I know I like the doll once I start taking him of his shelf to just sit with, or mess with his wig, ect.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?

      I like the term. It's to the point and not vague.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?

      I haven't 'not bonded' yet, but with my first (and only, for a few more weeks) I loved him right away.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?

      N/a BUT I probably would be more likely to sell the doll if it's aesthetics turned out to be not what I was looking for.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?

      No, not to me, because I've done it all my life. I 'bonded' with my favorite trees int he backyard, with my bedroom, and with my favorite plushies. Doesn't seem weird to me at all.
       
    8. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      I get attached, and in some cases, very attached to things. I've joked that if I was homeless, Remedy would come with my as my pillow (she's my Volks Kun, my first dream doll). But those attachments can and have been broken.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      I think using that term is unfair because it applies unfair pressure to new folks in this hobby. So what if they don't get weak in the knees when they open a doll? Are they doing it wrong? Even friendships take work to start, and the beginning of any hobby isn't without its flaws. There isn't just one way to enjoy this hobby, and people shouldn't so narrowly define the parameters of other people's experience.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I don't love it but if other people want to use it that's their choice. I may have used it early on but I was a bit more romantic about my view of the hobby then. Attached, connected? But even that implies more of a bond scenario than some recognize.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      I've had dolls I've hated right from the start. I've also had dolls I've adored from the first moment. And, I've also had a few dolls where I was indifferent upon arrival, and working on them sealed their fate one way or the other. Some stayed, some left.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      I have had dolls I don't feel any interest in, or have lost interest in, and as a result sold them. I wouldn't define it as not bonding, rather that tastes change, or a doll didn't meet my expectations.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      I've always had certain objects I've felt attached to, but eventually I get rid of things and don't feel regret (though sometimes I do wish I still had my Popple from when I was a kid, ha). I can't say how I'll feel if/when I decide to leave the hobby, but the thought of getting rid of all my dolls does seem quite distant. I think there's a few I'd always keep around, just because.
       
    9. Personally, I find it hard enough to have affection for people let alone a doll. I can like a doll a lot but I would not call it bonding since, as someone has previously stated, it implies mutual feelings. My dolls have sat in boxes or on shelves for years without me looking at them again. Frankly, the only doll I have I am hesitant on selling is my LJK which unfortunately has bad memories attached (which I've spoken about on this forum before) and has not been taken out of the box since I received it years ago. Do I think it's possible for other people to really love their dolls? Sure. Is it weird? To some people it might be in which case you can point out how much they love their cars but I doubt they'll see the similarities. I don't feel it's weird to really love one of your belongings because everyone does it.
       
    10. Really interesting thread.

      Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      I can and have.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      This is an oddly worded question for me because "in the doll world" is one thing, in my doll-life is something else. In the doll world, I assume that anyone who uses it means they have a special relationship with the doll and I'll be happy for them and wait to see how it manifests.

      In my doll-llife...in all honesty, I've been more than a little puzzled at my reaction to Wiishu, and in self-preservation have spent a certain amount of time trying to sort it out. As with any definition involving emotion and human nature, the dictionary definition is not simple. The definition I've seen that I think applies best for me is: To join (two or more individuals) in or as if in a nurturing relationship:

      The "as if in" is an important distinction for me, because it negates the primary argument that inanimate objects have no feelings. The important thing is, I do have the capacity to feel "nurturing" toward the doll, in that once the doll comes into my possession, I have the choice whether or not and how to clothe and care for it...or whether to leave it in the box and never look at it. The more pleasure that nurturing brings me, the stronger the "bond". (We make the same choices when dealing with pets and children. It's a more complex equation, but fundamentally the same.)

      Morgaine and Vanye are character dolls. Their "real life" is already established in the novel Gate of Ivrel. I have fun imbuing them with the personalities of the characters, but their interaction with my life is minimal. I look forward to modding them into the Graphic Novel versions of the characters and putting them through their posing paces in acting out the rest of the graphic, but my relationship with them doesn't go much beyond that...except when it involves Wiishu. Their box opening was much more about him than them.

      My bond with Wiishu is just different. He came into my life a blank slate, came out of the box...and began talking, the way the best characters do. I responded to his face, expression and body language in an exciting, creative way. It's more like the bond between a creator and his/her muse. Or in my case, being a writer, like the relationship between me and one my characters...but it's a creative bond on steroids because of all the different possibilities his physical "needs" bring to the table. Yes, he inspires stories the way my characters do, but he needs "stuffs" (as he calls it, I might add.) Clothing, toys, a bed....because he's got substance and to tell those stories through pictures, he needs stuffs. Photography, clothing, construction, painting, jewelry-making...All the things I've done off and on over the years suddenly have a whole new purpose and focus. I've always enjoyed creating things, but imagining his reactions inspires me the same way imagining my mother's pleasure at a certain gift would inspire me to make/buy it.

      The more he's around, the more he reacts, the more "personality" he develops...just as my characters do. Indulging the "personality" is something I get enormous pleasure out of. I get even greater pleasure when something in his body language takes an imagined scenario in an unexpected direction, and the simple act of opening a box suddenly becomes a dive into packing peanuts.

      He makes me see things in ways I never have before, because I imagine the world from his point of view...which is the best kind of muse. Just looking at him makes me smile. Handling him, posing him, lets me express ideas and emotions in a whole new way. I haven't felt like this since the first time a character talked to me and I discovered the joy of "channeling" a whole new person through words. For every erg of energy I put into him, I get three back. Sounds like mutually nurturing to me! :D

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      Bonding works fine for me.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      I wasn't sure what was going to happen with Pooki. I knew I loved the other Puki Pukisha I'd met, but I wasn't sure what would come out of the box. Wiishu was once again the bridge, but Pooki, coming in again as a blank slate, is finding his own niche. I've bonded, but mostly through Wiishu. I love the reaction between the two of them. Ah...that's it. Wiishu's dynamic is directly with me and my world. Pooki reacts to Wiishu...or just has fun with whatever is nearest.

      Maybe it'll be different once he gets verbal. Right now, he just giggles and raspberries.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      I'm not one to spend this kind of money easily. Hopefully, it will never be an issue.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      That's a loaded question. :D Kinda depends on how it manifests! :D
       
    11. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?



      Oh, I definitely can and have! :D I've been bonding with all kinds of dolls since I was a little girl, and it's no surprise that I continue to do so now. :)

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      When it comes to dolls and other objects, I think it means that you love it so mucj you want to keep it always and never get rid of it. I still have some non-BJDs for that reason - I can't imagine continuing on in life without them in my possession.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I think the term works just great! :)

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      I bonded with my SD girl Goldwyn the moment I started playing with her and taking pictures of her. Similar story for my off-topic dolls I own. :)

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      Nope! I can't imagine not bonding with a doll at all. I have a specific list of dolls I want to get over the years, and I hope my research and careful planning keep me from not bonding with a doll.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      Psh, heck no! Or if it is, I don't care. I'm SO weird! :D
      [/B]
       
    12. Here's my answers and personal opinions!

      Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      Yes, you can.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      That the doll is connected with it's owner on a deeper level. You can never sell the doll, because it means more to you than any money can pay off.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      Not in my opinion, I find bonding a very good term to use. But there might be better words to use out there, I'm open about it.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      Yes. I have, one doll. I really love her, she's my pride and hope in this hobby and I would never, ever sell her. I will keep her as long as I'm alive, long after I lost the interest for the dolls - if ever. She's the reason I keep loving dolls, she's just amazing.
      I don't know how I did this bond tho, or how it turned out like this. But she's the first doll I actually loved from the start when I opened the package til now.
      I really do hope I will have this kind of bond with future dolls too.


      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      Both yes and no. I did sell a doll because I didn't like the mold once I started to take photos of it and using in my own way. I think that if you do want that bond then you need to love the doll looks. There's nothing beneath the doll like in humans who have a mind.
      I have not bonded with the other doll I have now either, but for some reason I find it really hard to sell her. I might just change off her face-plate with a clean one so that I won't feel limited as I do with this one who got the most beautiful, but not mine, face-up. I find her wonderful and her mold is amazing, but we are not bonded.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      No, I don't find it weird. I bonded with alot of objects before. Like a plushie my boyfriend gave me before flying away and a ring my grandparents gave me when I turned 15. They mean alot to me, I would trade off half of my life to be able to keep these things.
       
    13. I'm very fond of my dolls... I value them highly, I like having them around, and I'd miss them if they weren't here... But I don't really feel like I'm a "bonder" in the way most doll people tend to think of it. I feel the same way about my camera, my computer and my car (All of which have names, I should mention, and all of which I'm prone to talking to. I'm one of those annoying people who talks to EVERYTHING... Plants, teapots, doors, washing machines, you name it. :lol:) as I do my collection of little resin minions.

      I've never sold a doll over bonding issues. When I sell one, it's because I'm not satisfied with it for some reason, or I've just gotten tired of having it around.

      Is bonding weird? I have no idea... I suspect it isn't, at least as far as dolls are concerned. They're very human-like, after all, and that makes it easy to look at them and see more than plastic and string. Their level of detail lends them a lot of personality and people are bound to react to that. We're social animals and evolved to interact and form attachments.
       
    14. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      I think it's kind of necessary to bond with your doll to keep the interest in it. And I developed a really tight bond with my boy from the very first sight.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      Getting 'feelings' for your doll.. to kinda love them. Haha.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I think it's pretty accurate and good!

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      I only have one so far and I like him even more now than I thought I would.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      Nope. But I guess I would be thinking about that if it would happen to me.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      I do ask that myself a lot recently xD. But I think nearly everyone does that, may it be their car, PC, smartphone, whatever..so why not my resin boy?
       
    15. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?

      I'm still saving for my first BJD. But I've built a small, but specific collection of action figures/statues over the years. I am indeed very fond of particular pieces. So, I imagine that could extend to all my inanimate children :)

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?

      I can't answer this, since I don't own one yet. The time, care and attention that goes into them FAR exceeds that of figures/statues.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?

      As others have said, "forming an attachment to" seems a more appropriate description. Though, with the amount of personalization that goes into the hobby, I can see how it would be a perfect term for some.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?

      N/A

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?

      N/A

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?

      Nope! It's about what that object means to you. Dolls help a lot of people bring their emotion/imagination/stories/memories to life. They can be an extension of yourself and your life experiences. Of course, some may not relate to that bond. Though, that's life. "Different strokes for different folks" and all.
       
    16. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      Yes, yes you can. Sometimes it's a spontaneous spark, sometimes it's a bond that needs to be cultivated. And sometimes it's not there at all; in any case it's definitely there in many shapes and forms, no doubts about that.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      That's... a very broad definition really. In a nutshell it means to feel more for your doll than what you would for every other everyday inanimate object; it's the process of pouring your creative energy and feelings into the doll and projecting their character and personality into them creating their personal "individual spark" required to really make them "come alive", so to speak, in one's eyes.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I think it's alright. If a better term could be used for it I don't know and can't really think about.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      Yes, I've been through both experiences. Sometimes it will happen right out of the box, sometimes it will take dressing and finding the right wig and eyes, on occasion it will take even longer to get to it and then sometimes it just doesn't happen.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      It only happened once to me and it wasn't a very happy ordeal, rather left me feeling sad and frustrated and I had to let that doll go. I did not sell her and I'm very happy I gifted her away! Her new owner loves her, so all's well that ends well~

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      Not at all. People are able to form emotional bonds with all sorts of things, from places, to ideas, to intangible things like music pieces and all sorts of inanimate objects... thus being able to bond to a miniature human-shaped objects is perfectly normal as far as I'm concerned...