Doll Meet up etiquette?

Oh, thank you guys!! This is really helpful.

I was really lucky that my first doll meet-up (extremely poorly organized by me, I now realize) was SO friendly!! One of the gals there even let me hold her doll almost the ENTIRE time, because I didn't have one! He was even delicately, beautifully modded, and she was kind enough to let me cuddle him. ^.^

 

Oh! I just remembered one- be able to accept compliments nicely. Always thank the person and be sweet and friendly- after all, they're being nice to you!

 

So I always feel a bit lost at doll meet-ups. There are so many strangers! What do you do?

Go around and admire everyone's dolls and that is super exciting, but then what?
Do you just still around and look/picture-take or do you try to talk to other owners?

Do you talk about dolls or random things?
Do you talk to people your own age? Older? Younger? Doesn't matter?

Have you ever made a good friend at a doll meet? I'm curious!

 

I actually organize and make sure we have meets monthly here in Richmond, VA.

At our meets, we've now gotten a pretty solid group that comes nearly everytime.

But even at meets outside of here, I find it easy to get along with everyone. I tend to talk to everyone I can while at meets, even if it's only a small, 5 minute talk. Most of the meets I;ve been too, the conversation is WAY broader than dolls, it's just the dolls that bring us together. I think as long as you find someone at the meet who you actually connect with, the conversation can go anywhere!

And I've made several good friends through meets. It's very easy too if their local.

 

this is good info to know

 

Actually there's a sticky for this ^^
http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=299875

 

I tend to be the type who uses the "wait-and-see" approach especially when I've never been in contact with anyone at the doll meet I attend for the first time.

It is always good to introduce yourself using your Den of Angels nickname--especially if the doll meet was organized through here--and then your real name. I think it helps the people to connect you with your "online persona" and would lessen any awkwardness.

Also, it is polite to introduce yourself to others especially if you're the "newcomer" to the group that perhaps has some more established members, this would lessen the chances of being left out. It is also nice to share your doll--other owners are really excited to see them.

Being aloof during a doll meet can cause others to feel uncomfortable and would let one be perceived as "snobbish." Of course, one should not try to please everyone, but at least try to not start some kind of awkward feeling among the group.

It really doesn't matter what age the person you talk to at a doll meet. It's really a matter of whether your personalities click as well as your interest.

I also observed that it is good to be more outgoing/social with others. It's a doll meet and even though it is centered around dolls, there are the human owners, too. It is a good networking type of situation as well as an opportunity to see dolls in-person.

 

i would be clueless to what to do in all truth...i would just sit there and feel like the off man out

 

Oh...I don't mean like the rules of a meetup, just I've noticed some people get a lot out of meetups and others (like myself) have no clue how to interact (it's odd in non-doll, social groups I'm fine O.o) I was wondering what others thought...


hmm Alithea...that's helpful...

Vila Star...I know the feeling

 

I felt awkward in the beginning, too, but I forced myself to step out of my comfort zone by introducing myself first so that we won't be sitting there staring at each other silently, nervously anticipating who is going to make the first move.

My guess is the rules tend to apply AFTER the self-introductions and small talk happens.

I don't think anyone in here would just show up at a doll meet and start taking pictures of someone else' doll(s) without properly introducing themselves to other owners and ask for permission.

It's a bit intimidating especially when the group is large, but it's good to ask "Are you the [insert city/state name here] doll group?" Often, there's already someone there who would show you where to sit down and they'd make space for you and your doll(s).

Of course, I haven't experienced a doll meet where the people who were already there gave me cold stares after I introduced myself as the "new" person.

Hopefully, nobody in the BJD hobby subscribes to not welcoming people who are new to the group...

 

I'd say that it would be a good idea to go around and at least introduce yourself to people at the meet. Even if you have a conversation that is not *dun dun dun* doll related is good too! Maybe someone there has the same interests as you and tada! New friends~ Just awkwardly sitting there and staring at the dolls will not make for a fun meetup xD Also try to take with all people of different age groups, you may find someone there, that likes the same dolls as you do, or maybe has one you've been dreaming of? Just talk~ that's the whole point of a meetup right? To socialize and enjoy dolls with other people? I know for me, it would be incredibly boring to go to a meetup and just sit around.

 

As our meet-ups grew out of our already established fashion doll club, it was great to just meet new people & see a variety of dolls. Everyone is pretty friendly & as we have folks from their teens to their 70s, it's hard not to talk to a number of different ages. We basically stick to show & tell then break up & talk about almost anything.

The best advice I can give you is just be yourself, introduce yourself, never be ashamed of your dolls & be friendly. You'll find most folks respond in kind.

 

Great thread with lots of good advices!

Some small tip that I can give from my point of view (not bringing up the obvious "don't touch and ask thing"):

Don't go around and change wigs or clothes on dolls. The owner may want the wig to be a specific way, or maybe the wig is really hard to get on right. Just course you think it would look better some way, the owner may not (One of my wigs pop from my boys head very easily...)

If you don't want your dolls to end up in photo stories or in pictures were they are out of character, maybe other wont like it either. Of maybe more important: Even if it's ok with you, other owners may think it's not ok. And please be aware of what you are writing in photo comments and what you are saying behind the lines. I know owners that have had their dolls posed and later read things about their dolls that they don't like (non rude, just out of character and that's not in the characters history or personality). So from now I'm really careful with text comments and I know which people I can be more humerus with (just course you think a posing is hilarious, the owner may not).

I'm really scared by holding and posing others dolls. I'm really scare just touching them. I'm always afraid I will drop them or break them so I use to be really careful, really don't handling other dolls than my own.
And I thought before my first meet that I would have no problem with people handle my dolls. I was wrong. I'm a overprotective bitch when it comes to my babies. Come as a totally chock for me. And that makes me more respective towards other owners dolls.

A lot of text, but this is just something I thought of

 

I shouldn't even have to say this, but please don't come to meetups sick. If you're contagious you shouldn't be going out of the house unless you HAVE to, and certainly not to social gatherings -- all you're going to do is spread whatever you've got to everyone else there, and they will not appreciate it.

 

I go around and admire (and give positive and encouraging comments) especially when I notice a newbie. Then usually either take photos (especially if we are in a park) or sit and talk of various things.

One thing we've lately talked is behaviour when the doll meet is in a public place i.e. cafeteria. Once we had a meet where some of the people forgot that there are other customers too. So, if meeting in a public place remember good behaviour.

And its very easy to make good friends at doll meets. I've made several and nowadays we invite eachother to 'private' meets to discuss about dolls etc.

 

Yeah, proper social behaviour is a must. Stripping down and lewdly posing dolls in a public place is a definite no.

Also, asking people before grabbing their dolls and heading off somewhere with them... And I don't know how many times it's been said, but DO NOT TOUCH THE FACE.

I was at a meet up once, a week after getting Michael's head back from a very good face-up artist and spending way over a month and $200 on it. And as I told someone of it, they proceeded to pick up my doll and prod his face with unwashed hands while nodding along to what I was saying. I nearly died. I don't care if it sounds elitist, but I dunno how you treat your dolls and what your opinion on them is, but mine are made of fragile gold and I expect them to be treated a such.

 

I am usually a pretty shy and reserved person when it comes to social interactione, but with doll people forget about it. The way I see it is these are people who share my passion for dolls. I find them very easy to talk to. There are no reservation when it comes to going up to someone I have never meet before and striking up a conversation. You have an easy given topic "DOLLS", which then can lead into other interest.
I do ask before touching someones doll and I expect the same in return. Even though I have no problem with someone wanting to play with my doll, I think it is just the polite thing to do.

 

The first meet up I ever went to was at Fanime '07. I had just gotten my first boy, and my partner Lauren had just gotten his first boy. Mine was a DZ Demi boy, while Lauren's was a DZ Ying. During the meet, a girl that we had never met tried to take one of the Ying's shoes off, and almost pulled his entire foot out, s hook and all.

Lauren was livid. He snatched back the doll and would not let the girl touch him again.

As far as etiquette is concerned, ask before you handle a doll or take a picture. Let the people know if they'll be in a shot, 'cause I know I don't want to be in a meet up pictures post. Lol. Don't touch face ups, is just a personal issue of mine...and just be nice.

I think the most important is to be aware of your settings. Know where you are and generally who you're with. If it's a local meet up, try making friends with at least one person you don't already know.

If you're like we are in California, you'll all be friends with no problem.

Oh oh, and ALWAYS take the opportunity to hold a doll you've never held before. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I didn't hold MeliCat's girl at the last meet. She was gorgeous, and also the same size as a doll I was expecting. It's good practice to hold someone else's doll when waiting for your own to arrive.

 

The worry I'm kind of having right now is how do you usually introduce yourself at the meet? Do most people prefer to go by their real name or the username?

 

Depends. I answer to "Ophi" which is a shortened version of my username, or I also answer to my real name if people know it. Ask them what they prefer, lol.

I just plop down and be myself, which tends to be loud, demanding, and awkwardly social. Usually when people see that a git like me exists, they tend to feel less self-conscious and start socializing. *shrug*