Doll Meet up etiquette?

As far as the meetups hosted where I live, we've pretty much introduced ourselves as username first, and then our first names (or whatever you want to go by) ^^ I've found using real names much more helpful, as some of us have difficulty remembering long usernames xD

I've assisted in the few recent meetups in Philadelphia, PA. Originally, I would usually try to arrive at the meet early on in the day to help arrange tables and whatnot, so I often try to talk to everyone in our group at least once. As socially awkward as I am, with doll meets there's always one topic you can always count on to start a conversation. (Dolls, of course!)

 

Thanks for this topic. I was wondering about what was expected at meetups myself.

 

BJDCast has a great couple of videos as to actual etiquette, if it hasn't already been mentioned here.

They're kind of slow on videos, and they haven't had a new one in a couple of months, but they still have a lot since when they began.

Attending a Meet Up (Pt. 1): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOy8_uqGv60&list=UUjTsuIkC-m3-KWXTY-XdGhg&index=14&feature=plcp

Attending a Meet Up (Pt. 2): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfHiuJk4af0&feature=watch_response

As for my previous question, I think I had heard people referring to one another by username, but I didn't know if that was a hard-and-fast rule, or if it was just a way of referring to someone on the forum without confusion or something like that.

I think it would be good to add - if it hasn't already - be respectful not only of the dolls as dolls, but also the doll's characters to some degree. It makes sense to me that you ask a little bit about my doll's character, to get some idea of who my doll is and what they're about. That's especially true of you want to pretend your MSD is trying to hit on my MSD... that would be really out-of-character for my doll to be in that situation being that her character's age is 11. Also note: Not everyone's Puki is a baby. Not everyone's MSD at the meet is an adult or a kid. Even if all the MSDs happen to be adult characters, still ask.

Also, not everyone is interested in romantically involving their doll with someone else's. Some people have their own stories for their dolls, and those dolls might already have partners. Some people don't want other people's dolls to pose in certain ways with their own dolls (even sitting on laps) because it looks all wrong due to their stories. It's best to ask someone if you want to pose them suggestively with your doll, or even if you want to sit them on their doll's lap. Everyone has their own comfort zone.

We like to make mention of common sense, but remember: common sense is not common. You might have no clue why people wouldn't want a picture of their doll taken (sometimes I don't), but it doesn't hurt to ask. They'll probably say you can, but asking them should be easy because they're right there.

 

You know, I have a VERY hard time referring to people by their screen names. It annoys some of my friends, we'll get on mics to play a game and I'll revert to real names. I just have a hard time associating jumbled words like "killanoob552591" with a person.

 

Just be polite and respectful!

If it's an event, bring some cookies, drinks, plates, dolly chairs if you have them or something to contribute.
It's not a requirement but it's a nice thing to do and helps out a bunch!

Keep negative comments to yourself.
Weather you dislike a person or their doll just keep it to yourself.
They are trying to have fun and you don't want to ruin the meetup for them.
No one should leave feeling bad and not wanting to go to another one, or even worse feeling bad about the doll they own.
You don't have to be fake, just be respectful.

Always ask before touching someones doll and if they are uncomfortable with you holding them, respect that. If you do hold their doll, don't go far from it's owner unless they don't mind.

Don't smoke near the dolls, go outside.
That goes for people too, a lot of people are allergic to cigarettes.

If there is food, just wash your hands after you eat.
Even wet wipes will do.
That ones pretty basic. Some people don't mind but others do.

And never touch a face up, dirt and oils from your hands can get on them.

Overall, just be friendly, respectful of other people's property, keep negative comments to yourself and have fun!

 

I get pretty nervous too. Try to listen to what everyone is talking about n see if maybe you know something or even if you don't, don't be afraid to ask. I just attended my first mini meet and was more quiet then I usually am. >///> I was even able to handle someone's doll, which I did with utmost care as if it was my own. Sometimes you can recognize the BJDs and then I usually ask if they are "username" from "forum". That's how I knew who a few people where actually :3

 

That was my overall concern. Sometimes, I'll see the name, and I won't be able to follow the letters and imagine the correct pronunciation in my head. Some people's names are hard to make out at first, or hard to pronounce, so part of my worry was what will I do if I have no idea how to pronounce a username.

 

Just about everything has been covered, but I would like to add one, perhaps very obvious thing: Don't wear nail polish! Sure, you might have perfected a way of handling your own darling without accidentally rubbing off on him/her, but I doubt others will trust you to handle their dolls if they don't know you. I certainly wouldn't let anyone with painted nails handle my girls (I don't even handle them myself when my nails are painted, to be on the safe side) and I suspect that's not an uncommon feeling... :3

 

Before I go on to read this entire thread I do got a question....Say I went to a meet and I don't have a BJD of my own yet...Would it be rude to ask to hold one of the dolls to get an idea of what resin feels like? I mean I don't usually like handling other people's property period (I take good care of my things and I hate it when people mistreat my own stuff when I treat their stuff like relics so I know how to be careful) But if I attended a meet I would like to get a rough idea of what I was getting myself into. And to get an idea of what I'd be getting into weight wise.

I wouldn't like ask to hold a SOOM or anything that looked like it had a ton of work put into just getting it to stand straight no. I'd just ask and it wouldn't be right out of the blue either. No one wants to be that weird no0b who has no idea what the hell she's doing right?

Considering most of my dealings have been online I'd be really nervous.

 

If you were at a meet with me and asked me, I wouldn't have a problem with a polite request like that Provided that your hands are clean, you don't have nail polish on and you're calm and sitting down I don't think anyone would have a problem being asked if you could hold their doll. I say sitting down because if you want to hold a heavy doll (Soom Super Gems, I'm looking at you!) you may be surprised at actually how heavy they are and it's easier to not drop a doll when you're sitting down than standing up, you can sit the doll on your lap to take the weight off your arms that way. Also I say calm, because if you've just been dashing about for the last 5 minutes I would be nervous of you running off with my doll!

Holding is usually fine, but I would take care not to try and make a doll stand or put them in poses unless the owner says that you can try or that they'll show you how. Lots of dolls are fiddly to get to stand and I know that I wouldn't want to put the responsibility of my doll staying upright on someone new to handling dolls - if a face-up was ruined because the doll face-planted I would much rather it be my own fault than the fault of someone new. Trying out dolls shouldn't end with trying to settle costs of face-up replacement or broken fingers

 

Phew what a relief to hear. I'm usually a pretty calm person I'd be more so just looking at the dolls and being quiet about it. I've read a lot of stories about people standing up random dolls and then them topple over and getting damaged. I don't even let people touch my own dolls unless their my family members so I would probably just hold the doll and be very careful to avoid messing up the wig or touching the face up on accident. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I damaged someone's property especially if it was a BJD. I'm still in the saving stages for my first MSD so I'd be more inclined to hold one to get a feeler for how heavy resin actually is. (I saw some vids describing how heavy a resin can get after a while.) I'd be more inclined to handle one sitting anyways.

Thank you for such a quick and kind response.

 

You're welcome - and the offer is open, if you ever do end up in Wales you can definitely hold my dolls!

 

Awesomness. ^^ If I'm ever in Whales I'll stop at a meetup if your there. ^^

 

Just be yourself and be respectful of everyone's dolls. Do what you feel comfortable with.

 

I think everything's been covered, but yeah. Never be afraid to ask questions, and just respect everyone, and you ought to be fine. (well, and clean hands are a must)

With my guys, I know I am fussy about some things and not others-- my MSD boys have different ways of being difficult standers, but people at meets are free to touch as long as they don't stand them up, I don't mind wigs being popped off and looked at if asked first (Vince's slips on and off, Pete's is a struggle). And then at the last meet, I brought two ABS plastic off-topics and they were fine to be posed however, since falling over on a table doesn't hurt them.

So yes, keep in mind that it's not just different rules per different owners, but different rules per different dolls.

 

If you see someone looking lonely and bored, go over and strike up a conversation with them.

 

i think there would be more pressure on people hosting the meetup as opposed to going. I've never been to one but I did some looking around and on youtube or something and some girl had a meetup at her house. the place was filthy. i think that's unacceptable and rude to invite people to your home and not even have the decency to clean it :v but i cant say much on the subject. im nervous of going to a first doll meet also ;;

 

what a helpful and thoughtful thread! i have yet to attend a meet up in my area, and i am grateful for reading all these tips on good information before i do so, since i didn't know what to do or what was expected of me. for the most part i had already figured some of the basics of etiquette, to be honest i'be been a bit nervous about taking the dolls to a meet, like some other people have expressed , i too don't think i could really cope with the doll handling part....it terrifies me. so i will also make sure to get a stand for whoever i take there, i also wasn't aware that people would let others handle their dolls O_O, in my mind i kind of thought people would just stand them there for some sort of display while you looked with your hands in the back, museum style LOL XD
i'd be happy just to look at them close if needs be and admire them, unless i am personally asked by someone to hold their doll. i do want to get to meet other BJD owners as i think it somehow makes the hobby more enjoyable.

 

My first meet-up was in February, and I was nervous too. It was at a convention. The number one rule is to respect the dolls of others. Don't touch or photograph without permission! I found the group that I was supposed to meet-up with, and what I did was just show my doll, and compliment theirs. Immediately showing my doll off really helped to break the ice for me. And, it got every one else unpacking their little resin treasures. Then, I asked questions about their dolls, like their name, sculpt, company, background story and troubles that they had with them. It ended up being a lot of fun, so don't worry too much! I would also be prepared for people asking to handle your doll. Maybe you could decide ahead of time if that bothers you or not?

 

I love going to doll meetups but they can be tricky in public places!! The ones I've gone to have been at Mitsuwa which has been REALLY FUN! However, I wasn't really sure of the etiquette the first time I went. I started to change my doll right on the table and a few people got angry at me, partially because they were offended and partially because they didn't want me to offend any of the non-dollie people there. Understandable!! I sometimes forget that normal people might be fazed by resin boobs. Something to keep in mind!!

A few meets later, there were some kids there who were really interested in our dolls, which was really sweet of course. It became a lot less sweet when they got really touchy-feely with some more expensive dolls and were holding them and pulling their wigs off. We were obviously getting a little bit upset, but the worst part was that their mothers just watched while we struggled to keep our dolls on tact. The real kick in the face was when one mom gave her kid $20 and told them to go buy one. I know that they didn't know any better, but you need to be prepared to keep your dolls safe if you are going to be in public places, and don't mind non-dollie people not understanding or being rude. Or, god forbid, dollie-people being rude.

Just remember that you're there to have fun! Be kind to others and have a good time!