Dolls and your own body image

This is a rather interesting topic, and one I would have never thought about before now. First off, the questions:

Have you ever felt that you wanted to look just like your dolls?
No. I have never wanted to look like a doll, BJD or otherwise. I have enough body image issues without adding an impossible desire to it.

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
Nope. Why resent something that was cast to be the way it is? Better yet, why resent something inanimate? I'm overweight, pimply, no breasts, and I look like a guy half the time, which gets to me some of the time. I have poor body image all around. But I don't look at my dolls (male or otherwise) and think I want to look like you.

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
Yes, actually, not so much to the doll part, but to the society part. The dolls are impossibly perfect, and society demands perfection of some sort. At least, it demands that you be a certain size and look a certain way--both of which I do not. I have been trying (and failing) to lose weight for a long, long time, before BJDs came into my life. After spending my teenage years being tormented, and my current twenties feeling like a waste of space and a tub of lard--enough is enough.

In a way, it is some sort of conformance to society. While I want to change for my health, I also want to change so I can move through life easier. I don't want to become like a doll--I want to become healthy. Normal.

My dolls are my characters. The people I created in my head and can now put together in resin. Even the two I bought before characterizing them have become part of a character. I can't be jealous of them at all, for that reason as well.


Onto another opinion:

I can see the merit in dolls inspiring some sort of healthy living, whether it is through more confidence in meetups, or just because. However, honestly aspiring to look like a doll seems just a tad unhealthy to me (someone earlier in the thread mentioned the woman who wanted to look like Barbie--things like that are what I'm referring to here.) Society already puts enough stress on men and women alike (women moreso, admit it, guys) to have the perfect body, the perfect breasts, the perfect face--why turn a hobby into another vehicle for that? I think it has the potential to cause harm in the long run.


Disclaimer: I'm not talking about the people who were inspired into healthier habits because of their dolls. I think that is different in a way. You're talking about losing weight, but not aspiring to look like the doll itself. Now, if you are willing to get plastic surgery and make drastic changes to your body (lol, modding your body. sorry. bad joke. couldn't resist) in order to meet this visual pinnacle, then I find it just a little disturbing, and over some sort of invisible line between normal and fanatical.

 

Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls?
Nope. As beautiful as I find them they're dolls and they're supposed to look "perfect", it dosen't mean that I as a human being have to look like them. Besides I've never had any issues with how I'm "supposed" to look and I hope I never will, it seems awful to think you're never enough and that you're ugly when you're not. I've found that when I've first met someone they might not've looked very pretty but after I've come to know the person their looks kind of transformed into their personality. So just because someone's not beautiful in the face they can still be beautiful because of their personality and for me that's more important.
I'm not saying I don't care about looks at all, it is after all, for me, the first thing you see of a person and I'm sooner attracted to a handsome guy than someone not handsome.

Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification)
No, never will.

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
No. I do, however, on very rare occasions wish I were a dude just because I find males more aesthetically pleasing to look at than females (not saying females aren't or can't be beautiful, because they definitely can :-) ). And I do have a kind of angular, though female, face wich I think coud pass for a pretty androgynous man if tweaked a bit lol. xD

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
No, I don't feel any such pressure except maybe when I have pimples in the wrong places of the face... Like on the nose.
Though I realize there is a lot of pressure for a lot of people. I'm ignoring it because I've never "had" to think about them and because what they've done to my sister. My sister is very beautiful but she can't see it herself and constantly complain about something about her body, her hair, her face... She's never happy about herself and she's also very aware of how others look especially if they're not pretty enough of if they're prettier than her (then she gets jealous and begins to dislike that person). I hate this way of looking at life. It's utterly disgusting and even more so when someone like my sister (she pretty much look like a chibi unoa) is so deeply rooted in this kind of thinking they shadow her every thought. I has made me become very anti the how-you're-supposed-to-look-ideal. I wish everyone could be accepted and accept people as they are regardless of looks, especially since there's so many other and so very important problems in the world that needs fixing.

 

1. Pretty is in the eye of the beholder. All those chicks that were painted during the Renaissance period had small boobs and lots of junk in the trunk. They were considered the height of perfection too.
2. Pretty is also in the one who wields the paintbrush. You know most of those models are heavily Photoshopped, right? So why are people aspiring to be something that doesn't exist?

Wanting to look like a model in a magazine disturbs me too. I don't care how much money somebody spends. Assuming everything is real (not Photoshopped), you're not going to have her perfectly symmetrical face and delicate bone structure. So why not be proud of what you do have?

 

^THIS! So many people here should take this to heart (saying that only because I've read so many "I'm lacking/I'm not..."-type posts). I may be the odd ball out because I'm coming at this from a poet's stance, but... really, why NOT own what you are, and be proud of it?

Flaws make us unique from one person to another. Flaws are what make us beautiful, then. And to tie this in with dolls--yes, you have different molds and stuff, but it's very easy for them to just blur together at some points, they can be so similar. The two DZ girls I have, for instance--both have the EXACT same body mold. I guess that's why, with each new nick/chip I find on my Shoyo (bought her secondhand), I love her more than my factory-bought/pristine Demi, because the Shoyo has some accumulated flaws to her (she's also very yellowed!); she's special in that aspect.

Like....really? Can't we ditch the pedestals we put the "better than us"'s on, laugh, and enjoy our uniqueness? Read some Lucille Clifton and Anne Sexton, hang out with a chipped doll, and leave the magnifying glass behind when you go to the mirror.

[[So to answer the formal questions: No, haven't ever wanted to look like my dolls, don't resent them (I just take joy in fleshing my characters instead), and I think WE give that "societal expectation" power by saying "I'm not good enough, I'm too fat, my hips are too big," etc (or worse, the "I like my _____, but I HATE

• ), when we can instead make a joyful noise and celebrate who we are.]]

 

Have you ever felt that you wanted to look just like your dolls?

No, not at all. My dolls all represent ( for the most part, at least ) existing characters and the vast majourity of them are male. I've always wanted to be a male, but the dolls had no influence on that what-so-ever. I just don't like the gender I was born with but after twenty-six years, I've learned to deal with it.​

Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification)

No. I am trying to beat genetics and get in shape but that, again, has nothing to do with my dolls.​

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?

Dolls, while pretty, are still dolls - inanimate objects that I possess. If I ever did find myself becoming resentful towards them, quite simply, I would get rid of them because something about resenting them just seems really abnormal to me. I'm abnormal enough as it is, no need to add fuel to that inferno.​

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?

Personally I've never come across a situation to notice anything like this as far as the dolls are concerned. Society in general has these unrealistic standards of normalcy and beauty that they impose upon people, especially young people, unfairly. It's pretty much unavoidable and inescapable. So if it has trickled into the doll community, I wouldn't be surprised. I just don't feel any of that pressure myself.​

 

This is an interesting question. I avoided buying a female doll for years because I thought I might be jealous of it. Since then, I decided to try getting a few females, but I prefer the ones with quirky faces/bodies or sad face-ups. I think a lot of female dolls are attractive, but I've found less than 10 sculpts that I would even consider buying because too many of them look beautiful in a generic way. With my male dolls, I'm not as picky - if a male doll is beautiful, I will like him. If I had unlimited money, I'd have hundreds of male dolls. Anyway, on to the questions:

Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls?
My only girls so far are a Leekeworld Mikaila and a Crobidoll Boni tiny, so no. Mikhaila is pear-shaped, and Boni is a child. Although, if I was a boy, I would definitely want to look like one of my dolls - probably my Crobidoll Lance.

Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification)
I've always tried to look decent because I believe people treat others better if they are well-groomed, but dolls have rarely influenced how I look. (One time I did try to do my make-up like a doll I'd seen, but it looked ridiculous.) I don't think there's anything wrong with someone trying to make themselves look better regardless of what inspires it, though. Attractive people are perceived more positively than unattractive people. For instance, I've noticed people treat me differently if I wear my contacts instead of my glasses. (I actually like how a lot of people look in glasses, but mine make me look hideous.)

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
No, I envy real people with doll-like faces, though. I've avoided watching movies because of how certain actresses look, and I noticed that the women I envy all look like dolls.

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
I don't think society generally compares real people to dolls very often. Some of the more realistic dolls may reflect how society thinks people should look, though. There is a lot of pressure to be attractive, though "attractiveness" varies a lot depending on the time period and area. For instance, I know in some countries being fair-skinned is considered attractive, whereas in my country people generally prefer others to be tanned. I've actually wondered if tan skin is becoming more popular where BJDs are produced, since it seems as if more dolls are offered in tan skin now. Or maybe companies are just getting better at making darker resin.

 

Well to be honest not really i mean im a little overweight and dont think i look all that great but i would love to have the black hair with the white tips. If i had a clock work eye either i would love it but other then that no not really. I havent really tried to look like him but im also stocky built so i cant get the size of serino but thats besides the point im kinda happy with the weight i am and i collect the dolls as a hobby and see them as their own person. i dont see them as a doll for say but their own liveing thing. I dont think people should hold these dolls to a standard of beauty to live up to either let them be who they are and you should be who you are be happy with yourself and forget the comments of others.

 

I find myself feeling the exact same way, generally speaking. It's amazing how dolls, something normally private, something non social types can have and relate too in ways, can actually bring people together. ^^



Personally, dolls don't really make me want to change myself. In a way it's the opposite. I like cosplay and making things, which is a lot easier for dolls. Less cost and less time needed to make things. So it's easier to dress dolls up than it is to dress me up. I also like representing things I like, styles I like, and different aspects of myself through character sand dolls. So even if the doll has a personality of her own, she's a little part of me in a manner of speaking.

Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification)
No, actually. How I look and who I am, the things I wear will always reflect me as a person, as I am, and as I'm happy with myself. The dolls represent the things I just can't or wouldn't do to myself.

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
Nope. Not one bit. I'm glad to be unique and look the way I do. There's no use resenting something that someone made en mass. No matter what the faceup looks like or what mods you may have made, a doll someone has is going to look the same as one someone else has.

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
No. I've never once paid attention to what society thinks beauty is, so why should dolls change my mind on that? I don't conform. I see no reason too.

 

Don't worry, it's not YOU I find disturbing But see, it's the idea of people dressing and living vicariously through their dolls that I find puzzling. It's like the idea of trophy kids. You know, people say, "I want my child to have the chances I didn't have" while shoving them out onto a tennis court or telling them if they lose a game of chess they won't love them any more (I've actually heard this being said by a mother to her child).
Of course, dolls are very different from children and if you stuff your doll into a frilly Lolita dress because YOU want to wear one, then no, the doll itself won't actually suffer (though if I did that, I would suffer because my dolls would kill me while I slept). But it makes me think- why do it to your dolls when you could do it to yourself? Wear the Lolita bonnet, the Gothic books, the punk hairstyle. Go for it! If it's what you want then just play around with it and have fun.
Personally I don't want to wear any of the stuff my dolls wear. Unlike one of my dolls, I have no desire to wear hideous great platform boots and studs everywhere and skimply mesh tops. If I did, I assure you, I would do it!

What an odd thing to say.I'm going to use this whenever I say or do anything weird (all the time). Sorry, you couldn't possibly understand. I'm a poet.

 

I think I came at this from the other angle.... I like to make many of these dolls dress sorta like ME. I am a tall lanky person, but I am a female over 40, so there is no earthly way I will ever look or be shaped like a teenaged male cartoon heartthrob. I don't waste my time trying, because I like the way I'm shaped.

But, thanks to DollHeart, the dolls & I can all wear the same killer boots! And jewelry and studs and wristbands! And ripped t-shirts and fishnets! And, thanks to H.Naoto opening a store in San Francisco, we can even wear some of the same brand clothes. ^^ Not all of my dolls dress from the superandrogynous goth style-box, but the ones who do are my favorite to shop for. It's like getting to dress myself up, but without me having to change out of my pajamas.

: I'm in your boat! Heard enough a' that noise awready. If I wanted to look at a killer rack, I'd put on the Wonderbra and stare into the mirror. But, speaking as a redblooded straight chick, I would simply rather look at foxy young men. Sue me.

 

Ahahaaa! xD Well, it's that, or "Maybe I'm just the queer one here, but.." At any rate--always glad to enable the wacky and odd.

 

Well, since most of my dolls are male and I'm not - can't say so, nope. *gg* But I think it's a really, really good kind of inspiration to draw from those dolls!

 

I've never felt the need to look like anything or anyone else, dolls merely fall into the category of "ohh how beautiful!" and that's...kind've it on that front tbh. There's no envy or resentment there, they represent my creative side, not any misguided impression of what society thinks people should look like...although this is the first time I ever heard anyone say that society views them as idealised people. That's just worrying frankly!

Honestly, I struggle to see why anyone would WANT to look like BJD's. For the most part, they're a heavily stylized impression of the human form, tweaked about by engineering to look really quite ODD. No one has proportions like them because it's pretty much physically impossible, straining to reach that is about as pointless to me as attempting to look like a photoshopped model in a magazine. I'd rather look...ya know...HUMAN...than attempt a resemblance to a lump of resin, no matter how attractive it is to the eye as an art form.

Because I'm 34 and healthily chubby, not a nubile young girl or boy in the first flush of youth with dewy skin and doe eyes. Pulling off Lolita in your fast approaching middle aged is a very fine line...that, and I can't afford BOTH an AP dress AND the dolls, sacrifices had to be made. Don't underestimate the power of a bit of vicarious living when it harms no one and helps a LOT of people enjoy things they can no longer do themselves!

 

I can't say that any of my dolls have ever had any effect on my body image. Barbie, even to me as a child, clearly was not representative of an actual human body and I liked her for that reason. I never liked the realistic dolls and always was drawn to those with more stylization. Why have a wrinkly ugly baby doll when you could have a totally awesome Rainbow Brite doll instead? I feel the same way about ABJDs and am fairly turned off by the ones who attempt more realistic proportions.

I have a fairly good relationship with my own body and how it looks. I wear what I like and what I feel looks good on my body, but there are some things I do love that I really just can't pull off. I do like some of the lolita looks, but they are not meant for anyone with boobs, which I have in spades. So I have a doll who looks amazing in them. My interest in cosplay is what drives me to want to lost extra pounds, not my dolls. Because it's me running around in the silly costume, not them. Well, they do cosplay but they're resin and were sculpted to be perfect and are not adversely affected by a character's love of cheesecake. I sadly am.

 

Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls?
Not at all. I'm just as pretty as a doll, but I wouldn't want one of my dolls looking like me or the other way around. Actually, one of the reasons I heard about dolls is a Korean professor I had my first year of college would always tell me I looked like a BJD. Heck, my friends with dolls tell me that all the time now too. I'm not trying to sound conceited, but the questions make it seem like people that have dolls aren't attractive. I like dolls to flesh out my characters. I want them to look like themselves, not me. I'm a perfect petite person, but some of my characters that are dolls are more muscular or have larger breasts than me. I certainly don't want to be an athlete and I would look ridiculous with large boobs. I'm happy with who I am. I'm happy with my dolls. My body image is not even related to my dolls.

 

Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls?

JUST like them? No, my knees and ankles are knobby enough as-is -- I was a walking disaster zone as a teen and have multiple fracture heals hither and yon. But in all seriousness I'd love to have a figure like some of the girls. It's just not realistic to wish for in anything other than the "in my dreams" sort of way.

But a goodly percentage of my collection has elf ears. I've seriously always wanted to have elf ears, since I was a little kid way back when. I have an interesting peak on one ear and have jokingly told people I was a half-elf, but I wanted the long, elegant sort of elf ear.

Obviously, these are fantasties only. Including the figure thing.

Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification)

Oh heck no. I just enjoy playing the possibilities through in my mind. I do well to move around, most days; I definitely have no desire to undergo modification.

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?

Again, heck no. I had my one brief shining moment of being "pretty" back in the early 80s and it was enough for me. I have the dolls because I *enjoy* looking at them for their own sakes.

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?

I don't think there's *any* pressure to conform to how the dolls look. What an odd notion!

On the other hand, society (at least in the USA, remembering that not everyone on the board is from here) has an ENORMOUSLY warped sense of beauty. It's thoroughly unrealistic. We focus on the slim and the young. There's nothing wrong with focusing on the young, but there are great wastelands (or should I say "waistlands") of people who are more than just a few pounds over a healthy weight here. And because we focus on images of people that are well out of the range of many of us, we foster a "it's not worth working on it because I'll never get there myself" attitude. At least that's what I think.

Even more, we fill the stores with styles that look fabulous on people built like my daughters, but end up being worn by people with midriffs that flap in the breeze when they walk. (My own dear self included, lest you think I'm just being mean). Not flattering! Someone who is 60 pounds overweight should not be wearing layers of form-hugging tissue shirts! O_o

Shopping for a lumpy figure like mine (and I don't even make the "obese" category) is nothing but an exercise in frustration. One of the reasons the dolls are such fun is that they can wear things WELL .


ETA:

BWAHAHAHAAA!!! Indeed. In very deed. My mom had the killer rack and *hated it* desperately. Give me some tasty male shoulders and abs to admire. I may be old, but I ain't DEAD YET.

 

We can't all be "perfect petite people" no matter what we do.

 

Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls?
I have to admit one of the things that drew me to the DOC new girl body was because it was close to my idea of a ideal body. Something not too slender with curves but also not heavy either. So it's not the doll that makes me want to look a certain way but an ideal I already have in my head.
Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification)
I am on a diet but that was before I ever got into BJD so I don't consider it because of my doll that I do it.
Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
I don't resent my doll. I have a poor self image I will admit. I'm only 4'9 and pudgy. I love clothes and designing them but would never wear any of the outfits I design because I feel I'm not the ideal body type for them. So where I use to dress my little sister in order to fill the need to stylize things I now use my dolls to fill that void.
Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
As I said I have my own ideal of a perfect body and it's not really societies ideal so I don't feel pressure from and outside force.

 

Hehe, but non-petite, non-perfect people can be actually very attractive too
I guess Mirrin wanted to say is that from the outside of the hobby, for someone who reads this thread, it would seem that we all have some problems with our looks. - and I think this doesn't depend on actual body size/height/weight and/or relative perfection.

Well, okay, most of us are female, so we probably do have more insecurities about our looks (since society teaches us from our childhood that we must be pretty to be loved) than the average person of the world "out there", but no more than an average female person ^^

I would actually bet that most of us "girls with dolls" are less occupied with our looks than the "girls who don't have dolls", because we can instead be obsessed with our doll's looks! About the guys, I have no idea, because I am not one. I also get a feeling that they are majorly underrepresented in this thread, even counting in the fact that there are less guys on the forum than girls.

...As for the question why we don't wear Lolita, Goth, etc - I do, if I feel like it. Like I already mentioned in a former post, "goth" is pretty much everyday clothing to me. Had a Lolita phase too, some time ago, was fun because I like to sew. But really, it is more even more fun sewing for or dressing a doll - you need much less fabric, it takes less time, if you buy the clothes, they cost less, and it can be as outrageous as you want it to be. While in RL, you might get caught by the police if you go outside in a mesh top without a bra underneath, hotpants, overknee boots and a dog collar.