Dolls and your own body image

1000X to all of the above.

Warning, Story Time: When I was younger I was bullied about my looks pretty terribly. I was told I was grotesquely fat since the age of 6 by other children in school, usually on a tri-daily basis if not more. I was never actually overweight until my junior year of high school. When I hopped on the scale and discovered that I was just 2 pounds into the over weight category by the BMI (which is a CRAPPY way to measure oneself FYI) I literally burst into tears and contemplated suicide because I would never be anything but fat. In the world I lived in, being fat was being put down, hurt, ignored and flat out despised. THAT is what constant, ceaseless, bullying does to a person.

Luckily, I had the most AMAZING family and friends in my life. Every time someone tore me down, they were there to hold me up and say "we love you." I never let them knew anything was ever wrong, and yet they always managed to make me feel like I was a treasure. To this day, only my fiance (also my high-school crush), and my little brother know how much I was tormented. All three of us were bullied for various things, so we know what it means. Thanks to thinking about all the people that loved me, I decided that rather than killing myself, I was going to just lose weight. THAT is what having good friends does for a person.

I did lose the weight and now my prom dresses from high school literally fall off my body (20 lbs of actually weight loss, most of it is body tone). However, as many people discover, fixing your body doesn't equate to fixing your mind. To this day, (I'm going on 23 in March) I have severe issues with my body image all because of this craziness. Every morning I have to fight the horrible voices in my head telling me I'm disgusting because my rib cage is a 34 not a 32. Worse yet, I can hear those same voices judging every man, woman, child and doll I see. It sickens me to hear that black cloud of hate swirling in my mind, but I just can't get it to stop completely. Stopping the hate and loving myself are constant battles which I will probably wage for my entire life.

All that said, I have to be VERY careful about comparing myself to anime girls, or my own dolls. My girl keeps me motivated to stay healthy, radiant and working out but she can also make me lose hope when I realize I can never look like her.

End story, Let's get on to the questions:

Have you ever felt that you wanted to look just like your dolls?
-Every single time I look at my doll I feel this way.
Have you done anything about it?
-Weight loss. Though that occurred before I bought my doll. However, looking at her keeps me exercising and motivated to stay gorgeous. Also, dermatologist appoints to clear up my acne. I got sick of how painful (both physically and mentally) it was to have deep, high pressure pimples in my skin. Corby made me make up my mind to fix that. I have perfect skin (and am very proud of it) because of her!
Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
-Yes. It's sick to resent a piece of plastic for it's perfection but it is how I feel on some days.
Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
I wouldn't say the pressure is to look like the dolls themselves, but there is a real and painful pressure to be "beautiful". I love it when people say "look at me, I'm gorgeous just the way I am", but I really have to kick myself to do the same thing.

 

Have you ever felt that you wanted to look just like your dolls?
Yes! I put on some weight after getting married and changing jobs, and it really made me disgusted with myself. I've lost some of the weight, but I keep dreaming that I'll get back to what I weighed in grad school, when I didn't have a husband to cook for or any money to buy food! I look at some of my dolls (as well as other lovelies that I don't own) and wish I had a flatter stomach or wider hips (I'm sorta square-shaped and excessively tall!). Of course, one can't change the size of one's ribcage or hipbones (or have anime-sized eyes!), but it's nice to dream.

Also, I work a job that requires me to dress very conservatively, and as a consequence, my own personal wardrobe is pretty small and boring. My dolls' clothes are a place where I can 'wear' elaborate or edgy outfits without having to invest the amount of money or time it would require to buy or make those clothes for myself. Plus, they can get dressed up without having somewhere to go, whereas I feel a bit silly doing that!

Have you done anything about it?
Like I said, I am working on slimming down. It isn't really because of my dolls, but they certainly do inspire me!

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
No! It isn't their fault they're beautiful... On days when I don't feel attractive, photographing my lovely dolls makes me actually feel better rather than worse, because they're so beautiful, and I can almost pretend that I'm as pretty as they are. I'm vicariously pretty through them!

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
I'm torn on this one. I do think that publications that feature actual women need to show a broader spectrum of what women look like, so that we can see the various types of beauty out there. But we have the beginnings of a good spectrum here in dolly-world already. Plus, so many of our dolls don't represent adults, and in that way don't really have the same effect on our views of ourselves. A doll has to be in some way 'attractive' in order to sell well and exist as an art object. I think that there is a nice range of body types represented, but I don't think a body that was grotesquely obese would be able to be successful commercially.

 

Have you ever felt that you wanted to look just like your dolls?
Yes. I'd love to look like one of my minifees...but I'm more like a short JID. I'm not fat, but I'm not as thin as I was as a teenager. I'm a US size 6. All through highschool maybe a size 2 or 4 at the biggest- but then I started living with my fiance and getting awful comfortable, and lazy. Many people will seem shocked that I could possibly feel bad about myself, but I hate my dang rear end. Hence feeling like an Iple, who interestingly was my first doll. I eat well, but I don't exercise, and the weight gain is all my own fault. I don't beat myself up for it. I dress in full skirts and goth wear usually, because full skirts hide my hips, and I don't wear anything that goes above my knees.


Have you done anything about it?
I used to several hundred crunches a day as part of my full-contact fighting training, but I don't do martial arts anymore. Now I focus on bellydance and I'm trying to get back into an exercise routine.

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
Nope- they aren't real, and I'm learning to love who I am. When I have kids, I'm going to look even more different. It's a fact of life, and age does things to your body. You have to work with what you have and love yourself.

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
As an anthropologist, I recognize that society places lots of pressure on it's members to conform. It's unavoidable, and it will always happen. Images of beauty shift and change. It's slowly changing from waif-thin boyish models to curvy, plump women. There is an ad on the back of an old Red Sonja comic from the 70s that reads: Tired of being too skinny and thin? Take *name of drug* and put on weight fast!

Put things in perspective for me, to say the least.

 

Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls?
Not as much as I wish they were just Real.

Have you done anything about it?
In the sense of wishing they were real, I have them as my own OC's, being an artist.
In the sense of looking like, I have my kigurumi for that~ =D

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
Nah, But if I had a Human BJD I would merely remind myself they were sculpted to be beautiful,
And that it isn't that easy to change a real flesh and skin body.

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
I wouldn't say your stuck with how they look, so to speak.
The way people see beauty is extremely outdated, I myself don't have an appearance concern currently nor did I younger, But like I said, The way beauty is seen is severely outdated.
I prefer Monster/Anthro BJD myself, So my interest is for the unusual or stereotypically "hideous" as it is.
( In the sense of Ogres and Goblins, typically labelled "Ugly" )

 

Im male and used to own male dolls but never related my own body to them. Male doll bodies are either very lanky, thin and tall or massive muscle men. I am neither and dont wish to be! Sure I wish I was a little thinner or taller but thats not related to the dolls.
When I was younger and played with other male dolls like Action Man and Sindys boyfriend Mark I didnt think 'thats me when Im older', in fact I found them a bit ugly compared to me in that they had bulbous heads and strange limbs! Also they are always very gender neutral in the groin department, so there were things about dolls that I couldnt relate to my own body more so than things I could relate to.
Dont get me wrong Id love to look like some dolls, but not enough! Im quite happy with the body I have sculpted my own way

 

Questions: Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls? Uhm I think my ideal body is similar to my luts senior delf girl (because it's a realistic proportion for how my body is...although I wouldn't mind looking like a soulkid xD, of course no one would think it was real though....)

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do? LOL no, they're resin, my beautiful resin babies. I'd love to look like they do and be FOREVER YOUNG but you know. I think my face could sell as a doll mold because I'm gorgeous (not conceited, I just like myself). But aside from that I like having skin and organs and breathing and all of that junk....plus having someone dress me once in a while when they feel like it? No thanks, unless they have a good fashion taste or are a good seamstress xD....

Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification) No? I've lost weight on my own of course. I modify my hair and pierce myself enough without my dolls help though xD.....

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty? No....honestly the societal beauty thing is a mathematical formula based on symmetry and ratios. (symmetry in face and body and ratio of your figure as well as distance of facial features) so it's essentially the same in all "societies" whether we're worshiping the woman of willendorf (aka "godess" figure) or a model.

for example: to have a "perfect figure" in the eyes of said males (mathematically) ones bust to hip to waist measurements must be approx 10 inches apart (the waist is the most important to be the smallest by 10 inches, bust or butt can be bigger), but the woman can be any size so you could be 30 20 30 or 50 40 50 and still have the same hourglass figure.

It's actually not 10 inches it's a more complicated percentage but for most of us 10 inches is *about( right.... if you're tinier than 30 i think it changes though. Google it if you're interested.

 

Ok, I'm going to open up a little here...

I've had the opposite problem as I used to be severely underweight - at around 35-36 kilos until the age of 20 when I got help. Now in no way do I blame my BJDs for my poor body image. My problems with eating etc was nothing to do with looking at dolls/supermodels/actresses, BUT I can't help but notice in this thread that people think these dolls are the pinnacle of perfection. They are beautiful, they are shapely, they are tall, they are slim... however they are not real. To me they are more like a caricature of a person... But it's all part of enjoying BJDs! To like the figure, to enjoy escaping into their story. I'm fine with that and I'm fine with people being inspired to get healthier and loose weight because of them. I just wanted to say that sometimes we need to look a little less like a BJD and be healthy human beings, not dolls.

 

Thank you for sharing your story! what caused so many interesting answers as well!

About me.. when i fell in this doll world i was breast feeding mum.. a bit overweighted and kinda forgot how atractive woman should look.. the dolls reminded me about me when i was sporting, young and ect.. doll world shown me the world fashion (i have never followed it.. im a bit conservative, if i may say like that).. so yes my dolls helped me to get on my toes back.. to get my women in me but i will not do any surgery or smth like that to be like them.

 

Have you ever felt that you wanted to look just like your dolls?
Nope. They are idealised representations of the human form, and I have never been able to see them as anything but dolls. I really wouldn't mind having Fate's legs, though. To me, they are perfect, but genetics has given me somewhat thick legs, so, meh. The rest of my dolls have really odd bodies that I don't even really want to see on dolls, much less humans. =_=

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
I think I look better than all of my dolls, really. XD Just need to shed a few kilos so I can fit back into my pretty cheongsams. QAQ

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
What pressure? I thought it was universally understood that dolls are toys? ^_^

In terms of society, though... eh. Even if you've made up your mind to ignore all the media, all the comments from friends/family, even if you're comfortable with your body shape... it kinda gets you down when you're just one size above the largest sizes available in most shops. =_=

 

Have you ever felt that you wanted to look just like your dolls?
Nope. I own yo-sds. I'm so over the estimated yo-sd age... it's not funny Althought I will admit to being jealous of the height of the SDs. Otherwise... nope. I'm fairly happy to be stuck the way I am.

Have you done anything about it?
I used to play basketball in the attempt to make myself taller. (Note the use of the word 'attempt'... there is no appellation of the word 'success'.)

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
Not really. They get their looks from their sculptors. I blame my looks on my genetics (read: mom and dad). Besides, my dolls are like my kids. I admire them for looking that way~

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
I think that the way how the dolls are sculpted are mostly due to the aesthetics of their creators. For those that are humanoid - they have 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 nose, 1 mouth. And they usually resemble members of the human race if a balanced diet was maintained.
Also, the way how society sees beauty evolves over time. 500 years ago, it was 'trendy' to be 'fair and plump' because it meant that the individual was rich, did not have to do hard labour and could afford to overeat. Then, it became 'tanned and thin'. Now, the trend is leaning towards 'tanned and athletically muscular'. (hard on those who don't bother to work out regularly - read: me XD)
So I have given up, and have decided to be happy just the way I am.

P.S. @Crimsoncat - BMI is a horrid way to gauge weight because it doesn't take into account if a person muscular or not, since muscle tissue is denser than fat. It is like comparing resin vs. vinyl in weight.

 

Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls?
nope.

Have you done anything about it?
n/a

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
no way, haha, if i ever looked like those Doll Chateau dolls, I think I'd have a heart attack. Also, since I do sport in a very dedicated manner (thanks to the team I'm part of), it's unlikely I ever would XD

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
Well, it depends who you are... I suppose when people are under more stress or more sussceptible to peer pressure, they may feel that way... Though recent catwalk photographs keep scaring me. :S

 

I have had issues with BJD and body image...I had an eating disorder and I had to sell certain dolls I've had because looking at their rail thin bodies was just too triggering for me...it made me miss my old behaviors.

Right now I have a Minifee and the proportions are different...her legs are unrealistically long and her waist is way too tiny and it makes me feel weird...but not as badly as these other dolls did...it just makes me sigh and try to find clothes that don't look weird on her!

 

For me, I'd rather resemble the beauty (eyes, hair, porcelain hued skin, lips, blush etc) rather than the weight. Although, that would be a plus in the end.
The hair is a big thing for me, I always envy it. My hair is so drab on most days. And now I'm still waiting to get it dyed because it's a discolored mess atm.

 

I do wish I could have pink eyes but that's a very easy fix. I love getting dolls that have massive breasts and a little tummy love like I do because the goddess look is to die for! But I do wish I had those perfectly shaped hips! All I would have to do is get up off of my ass and do a little walking around to get rid of the extra few pounds but... I'm not going to try to LOOK like them down to the nose and pointy chin! I like my funny nose and my rounded chin on ME and I love the special features my dolls have on THEM.

 

Have you ever felt that you wanted to look just like your dolls?
No.
Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
I'm happy with my body. I admire their beauty but I don't want to look like them.
Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
I like how I look and don't care what the media thinks is beauty nowadays. I think that everyone should just find his/her personal look he/she is happy with and not follow given standards that much.

 

I only collect boy dolls, & I don't feel any kind of pressure to be shaped like them. Still, if they were real guys, and heterosexual, I know that most of them would like my shape enough to try to pick me up in a bar. I'm cool with that.

That is so cute! And, hey, it's logical, right? Tall people play basketball > I become basketball player > I get taller. QED.

When I was a big tall lanky schoolgirl, coaches would ask me to play basketball & run the 400m hurdles, because that's where you put tall people, but my clumsiness quickly made them regret ever asking. Oh was I terrible at everything. Alas, having the preferred body-type for something does NOT equal success. Really, I wish I could convince all the body-unhappy chicks in the world that having the preferred body-type for anything doesn't automatically equal success. If you wreck your health and sanity to get scrawny, what are you left with? You're thin, that's all. And you get even thinner after you're dead, which is even less fun.

 

Questions:

Have you ever felt that you wanted to look just like your dolls?
Nope! To me they are like very beautiful bits of art work, but no human will ever be that perfect. Besides, I've never much fancied being 45cms tall! Although I have actually been told that I look like a ball jointed doll before. The same person also seemed to think that I was asian.

Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification)
Certainly not! When I first got Cesavier I was a little over weight (although not by a large amount, and I was still very young at the time). I'm a lot taller and thinner now, but it was never due to intentional diet or extra exercise and not initiated by my interest in BJDS.

Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
Again, nope! I actually wanted Cesavier to have brown eyes so that he looked a little bit like me. So I like them to look a bit like me, not the other way around.

Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
Not at all. I like to do my own thing. Besides, the world would be a boring place if we all looked the same.

 

I am so much like you, Tetradeka! I am heavy, I got my doll and she was what I wanted to be. She gets to wear what I want and all that and I am trying to get there. I'll never be as skinny as she is, I don't have the bone-structure, but I'm working at it. Although my hair is more interesting than hers. It was pink last but I might do pink and blue next.

 

I would like to look like my dolls. Well, not Frankenstein. XD But I wouldn't complain if I were a tall, ripped male.

 

I dont think I have been inspired physically by the dolls physique, but I do get inspired to draw beautiful things. I am slightly overweight but I dont really do much about it. I guess I'm more a dreamer than a doer XD