dolls just for lonely people?

I think dolls could help with lonliness, yes. But it's sort of like that with any hobby. If you're lonely and you find distraction, you forgot about the lonliness.

I'm rather antisocial and don't get along with people very well or relate to them, mostly due to anxiety and social phobia issues. But I'm surely not lonely. I've got enough pets to bug the daylights out of me and never give me a moment to be exactly.. lonely. But dolls do help, I guess.

Dolls give me something to look forward or dote on. But, I'm like that with any other hobby. So while I think they could help with lonliness, I don't think a lot of people use them to replace people in their lives.

 

iris0110 and Kiyakotari said exactly what I would have added to the conversation, ha.

I think having a hobby in general (any hobby) is a healthy outlet for time when you're alone. I very much value my space as well.

 

I certainly don't think that dolls are for only the lonely, or only for the antisocial, but I... um...

Well, I can't exactly offer myself up to refute the notion. The friends I do have, I don't often get out to see, and new friends are something I don't make easily or take lightly. My best friend growing up was a stuffed cat that went with me everywhere (very Calvin and Hobbes)...

But, I also write and draw and populate my brain with a host of characters (some of them I plan to 'house' in resin bodies, others not)...

Well, even when I can't get out and see my friends for long stretches of time, I have a very close family, so I'm not *alone* (heck, when you've got four people in a three-bathroom house, sometimes you're not alone *enough*). But having 'imaginary friends' has always made me less lonely as a kid, as a teenager, and now as a young adult. And I can see how doll collecting fits into that. (I'm glad I found BJDs, because before that, I didn't find dolls attractive. Their stuff? Yes. Oh how I love miniature stuff. But before BJDs I was a very non-doll girl)

=^__^=
Anneko

 

I'm sure bjd's can be very helpful if you are in fact lonely, but as others have said, any hobby can do this. And as vengez pointed out, hobbies work to distract which in turn helps you forget about the loneliness.

I didn't become involved with any of my hobbies thinking they'd keep me from being lonely, it's because I enjoy them. If anything they'd keep me from being bored. I think this is just another one of those topics where people tend to ASSUME you're lonely because they don't understand why "grown ups" would devote any time to dolls.

And for the record I am not lonely, though I am an introvert and do have social phobia. Enjoying bjd's or any other of my hobbies doesn't mean I'm trying to substitute people with inanimate objects, I simply like to be alone, people are not my thing.
And like someone else said, an animal companion would serve the purpose better

 

This!



I do wonder about people that really believe their dolls have souls and can talk to them. Maybe that's part of their spiritual belief, or perhaps they're desperately lonely. Those people probably fit the lonely doll stereotype, but there are plenty of us who just see them as inanimate objects and not a substitute for real human interaction.

 

i don't think i'm lonely (have oodles of friends) or antisocial (i'm a great public speaker, i'm around people all the damn time [in fact i wish it were less!] besides having a husband and cat at home). In fact i'm kind of outgoing. I don't go out to parties and clubs much anymore so THAT kind of social behavior has kind of scaled back in favor of small, more intimate gatherings but i think that's just more about me being older and married or something ... plus being more busy in other areas of my life.

My dolls are more an expression of creativity for me, it's funneling the energy i used to spend on dressing MYSELF in crazy gothic outfits and corsets and gigantinormous boots and dying my hair neon colors and stuff - instead of doing that to myself which i can't do as much because of my corporate job which requires me to look more conventional i do it to my dolls, lol.

 

You know, i've found that this hobby has such a social aspect to it - I've traveled for Dolpas, attended big and small meets, encounteed all sorts of people i wouldn't have otherwise. I hope outsiders don't think we are a bunch of social outcasts sitting in darkened basements fondling our dolls and crying on the inside because we have no real friends, lol. ::rubs doll head:: my precccccioussssssssss

;p

ps. althought if they do, as Hobbywhelmed says, "whatever!"

 

see i'm a bit different..

I AM antisocial to a point - think mad scientist like.
I don't have freinds in real life only family which i don't see much of anymore..
I too have a hard time getting along with others.....I don't talk much and feel akward a lot.
I decided to collect bjds as a hobby(Yaays only two left and im done!!)

 

I have a husband, and two kids. Im not lonely. If anything, I have to fight for any me time. I love the dolls because they let me express myself in a different way. I like to think of them as little people, (not in a creepy way). I think they are beautiful, and amazing. Its a fun hobby, and it allows you to be artistic. There is so much you can do with this hobby, building sets, furniture, making jewelry, and clothing. It also allows you to make new friends, dont forget. So far, I dont see it as an antisocial hobby at all. I guess its all in how you look at it.

 

I am not shy about my misanthropic tendencies. I have them. I am quite fine with them. My dolls are not some coping mechanism for this. I own them because I think they are fun and fun to look at.

Collecting dolls to cure one's loneliness seems like a rather counterproductive action to me, so I don't know why people always bring it up a reason for having a doll. The dolls look like people but cannot interact with you, so in the end, you're still alone with no one to talk to.

 

Some people talk to their dolls ... not in a "i expect them to answer back" sort of way, but kind of have pretend conversations w/ them. But i guess you could do that w/ anything like plants or, i don't know, your desk-lamp . I mean if you are lonely and you want to personify something it doesn't have to be dolls.

Personally i don't see talking to or even having pretend conversations w/ your dolls as trying to mimmick or replace human interation, i think it's more like play or imagination. i'm just sayin'

 

I constantly talk at and scream at my computer, so I do understand talking at things. It even has a limited type of programmed articifical intelligence and can react to commands I give it so it has dolls beat by a long shot in terms of providing some sort of contact. But if I was missing interaction with people, it still wouldn't fill that void. And I think a doll would just make it worse since it looks like a person and isn't responding to you. But that is just how I would see it.

 

I just wanted to point out here that people are using the term "antisocial" improperly.
Anti-Social behavior is similar to a psychopath's. You don't avoid people, you seek them out to use them, and have a pattern of behavior that tends to violate the rights of others.

The term you guys want to be using is "A-Social", meaning you don't seek human contact, or you try to avoid human contact. These people fall into two types: Actively A-Social and Passively A-Social. Active types actively avoid human contact, making friends, etc because they have been hurt or whatever in the past, but they on some level crave contact and are lonely. Passively A-Social types don't seek contact, nor do they want to. They don't really miss it.

I don't think we have too many psychopathic doll collectors here. Except maybe the scammers... but they tend to get kicked off pretty quickly.

The rest of those who've been claiming to be "Anti-Social" may be Actively A-Social types. I don't think we'd hear from Passively A-Social types.

As for me I enjoy limited social contact, and this hobby provides as much or as little as I'm in the mood for. My dolls aren't substitutes for people, though... they are little facets of my imaginary selves or simply beautiful "objets".

Raven

 

Sometimes my dolls remind me of my kids, I talk to them, and no one is listening. Hahahaha
Its all good !

 

I keep to myself a lot, but I'm not lonely. I don't have many close friends or like minded people to be around, but I don't think my doll is filling that gap. I suppose the friendship I have with her is of a different sort that human friends. ;-}

Hooray for homeschooling!!!!

 

I always smile when I hear the stereotypes about doll collectors in general terms. I have collected dolls to some extent for a decade and as I have grown and change so has my collecting and the reasons I do it. As others have mentioned lonelieness could be a reason for collecting dolls but it doesn't need to be. Everyone will collect dolls for various reasons over time: loneliness, escapism, boredom, self-expression, to feel needed, to feel wanted, to recreate manga characters, to be creative, to gather pretty things, to have things others don't have, to enforce one's individuality, to defy social conventions... The list goes on.

The one truth for all collectors, I feel, is that the enjoy their dolls and those dolls help make them happy. Collecting is a part of their lives but isn't the only thing. Collecting is part of a bigger picture and how an individual collects will compliment other ares of a person's life.

I understand people wanting to better define why people collect dolls. I feel, however, it is one thing to seek understanding and quite another to pass judgement. These kinds of topics take my mind back to some harsh crticisms of reborn collectors a few years back in the UK. People who were freaked out by baby dolls were sometimes personally vicious with their judgements.

But to answer the question about dolls being for lonely people... No. Dolls are for people no matter what they are like.

 

im not lonely. well not anymore i just buy dolls because they're awesome and i like nice things. those bjd make me feel "young" again.

 

I am extremely introverted - I recharge my batteries by being alone and quiet. I am rarely lonely, though.

Dolls are a perfect hobby for me because they allow me to choose solitude or community.

 

I am like, the total other end of the spectrum from antisocial, and I'm only lonely on occasion, since I'm bound to feel that way living half way across the world from my entire family/friends I grew up with.
I'm always out and about though and I am usually even the center of attention (I don't know how to put that in a way that sounds less attention-whore-ish, but I really am always involved in the group/conversation.)

My dolls are a nice relaxing hobby for when I need some alone time. but I also use my dolls as social 'tools' too, since I get together with a lot of friends just to 'play dolls'.