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dolls just for lonely people?

Mar 3, 2010

    1. I don't like people.... The only people I like are the people who are into dolls like me..... All so I see my dolls as my friends..... So I don't need other friends.


      I think its differant for every one. Any one could have a doll.
       
    2. I have a lot of friends and a few friends I love like family, but I also love my alone time. I need that alone time to keep my sanity. (Being around a lot of people causes my ADD to act up and I get very overwhelmed very easily. When I'm out with one or two people I have the best time.) I love my alone time because I can act the way I want to (usually like a dork) and be random and not feel judged. This hobby lends itself so well to those random, dorky times - If I feel I want to do a photoshoot or make a big, frilly dress for one of them, I can. If I want to change their appearance just to look like one of my favorite characters then spend a couple hours watching that show or movie with them, I can. I know this behavior isn't normal and would cause most of my friends to give me the o_O;;; look, but I'm not going to stop my enjoyment just because I know it's not widely accepted. As long as I'm not hurting anyone in the process, I don't see a problem with it, though I know a lot of people would.
       
    3. I have my antisoical and soical days. Somtimes alone time is needed just for me to have time for myself. I have a good group of friends and a boyfriend that means a lot to me. My dolls are a escape from my every day life, when I just feel like playing around and having fun with just myself and letting my imagination take over. Theres nothing wrong with playing with dolls or anything like that, some people may see me with my dolls and may be a little bit confused but I try not to let it bug me. A lot of those people probley think of me as antisoical because I have fun with my dolls but I think of myself as not.
       
    4. I think its differant for every one. Any one could have a doll.[/quote]

      i agree!
       
    5. ^ Yes! The 'recharge my batteries' is the phrase we use around here, too. My brother and I are like that. We need recovery time after socializing.

      I do love the doll community, I really enjoyed the doll panel at ALA and the meet up I got to go to, I'm really looking forward to the con here in the central valley... BUT, I also love that for the most part, the doll community I interact with is online, where I can totally limit my degree of interacting with people.

      Most of my hobbies are like this, where I can do them all alone, but share them with others in a safe environment or limited capacity. (except for the theatre... oddly enough, despite all my asociality and fear of public speaking, my first love is the stage...)

      =^__^=
      Anneko
       
    6. I think that's something that people think when they don't understand why someone has a hobby they don't...understand. LOL

      I have lots of friends & I'm very social, and I like dolls. Those ideas are completely un-related.
       
    7. I'll be honest, and this isn't directed anyone in particular but rather a general statement, I resent the constant insinuation in threads like these that we as doll collectors en mass must have some kind of complex or be compensating for some missing aspect of our own lives just because we choose to collect expensive dolls, there really is so much over-analysis it's mindboggling. Can't we just like dolls 'cos we like them? *_*

      I buy my dolls because they're pretty, I enjoy working on them & creating 3D representations of my original characters and I especially enjoy photographing them. I don't consider myself 'lonely' and my dolls aren't there to keep me company in the stead of real people, in fact quite the opposite, I've made some of my best friends that I've had for a very long time through the hobby.
       
    8. I don't think it's a good idea for lonely, anti-social people to have dolls and sit around pretending the doll has a personality and is keeping them company. It seems unhealthy to me.

      A doll is a doll, it does not replace human contact.
       

    9. I would like to agree, but then so many people talk about how they don't have many flesh and blood friends, they just have and prefer dolls. I know that I'm a well adjusted person with enough friends, but when enough people talk about how they have no friends except for their dolls, then the stereotypes and assumptions start.

      I'm still pretty new to this hobby, but already I've seen enough to understand where the insinuations come from. I know that currently I'm lucky enough to have some doll friends IRL and they are colorful people, so we kinda stomp all over the "doll person" stereotype. Even with that, I still got the "talk" from my boyfriend because he was kind of afraid that I wanted a baby but settled for a doll.

      It might be a little unfair, but that assumption is going to get made... it happens in all hobbies, from RPGers getting told they worship satan to doll collectors (any type, not just BJD) being told that all they really want is a baby or a friend, but aren't socially skilled enough to have a flesh and blood one.

      Over all, I just educate people and make sure I don't come off as defensive. Becoming defensive will just make people convinced that they're right.
       
    10. {SNERT!}

      I don't think I have enough alone time to feel lonely if I wanted to. Even if I had no other social outlets than dolls, I have doll friends who I spend time with, but I'm hard pushed to fit doll time in what with all the other social activities I'm committed to.

      I think it's like blanket statements about anything else - the comment is true of a proportion of the group it's used to describe, but by no means all of them.

      Teddy
       
    11. I have so much friends that I never have a weekend to myself, I am always hanging out with bunch of people. Also I made huge amount of friends out of dollpeople, we go to meets and do photoprojects together happily talking and stuff. So I am not a loner, nor am I unsocial. But I love my dolls all the same and I love to cuddle them A LOT and take one of them around my apartament.
       
    12. I doubt anyone who is a member here of DoA is a lonely doll collector. Everyone has managed to make a few friends or a lot of friends or get to know even a greater network through doll-meets and events, buyers and sellers through this hobby. This complex wouldn't really be existent in all of us here. :)
       
    13. i do get lonely sometimes, i do not have many friends but i talk to them almost every day... i do have other people around me but i don't really care, actually
      i guess i'm a bit anti social as well XD
      i love to be alone, i fell so free... alone or with my pets and dolls, its just with people that i'm not really confortable with

      i like to have my dolls around, thinking they need me somehow
      and i also think to have and artistic predisposition (i went to art school and my teachers were just so proud of me... i didn't care about that either ^^'')
      but i don't like the traditional ways to do art, i found them boring
       
    14. I don't think that dolls are for lonely or anti-social people, meaning that to have them suggest that you are lonely or anti-social. That's like saying that any hobby, collection object, or pastime that doesn't involve a group of people are intended for lonely people. I think it's nice to have a few hobbies, including doll care and collection, to just diffuse from the stress and involvement from groups of people, whether at work, classes, etc. It destresses. It would seem that even some of the admittedly lonely people here still go out and socialize for the simple fact they share in common with others the appreciation of dolls...which, in the end kinda alleviates the loansome and anti-social steryotype to begin with...

      eh, in the end, it's all a matter of perspective.
       
    15. I agree so much ...

      Just like any other hobby it can "eat" some of your free time in a pleasant & creative way , at the end you like the process and the result ... it's not a subtitute of anything. and can't cure anything.
      I am surely hehehe not lonely at all and I usually spend my little free time practicing with my guitar ... dolls stay at group's atelier anyway (as decoration poseable statues & heads).
      Wow loneliness ... time with myself , guitar , hobbies ... loneliness is a dream here because I don't have it at all... this because all day we're working as a group. It is nice but exhausting and too much work ,thankfully as we are friends in group it is nice... so none here has much free time and each one here (me too) after spending some of the left time with friends, relationship etc has little free time left. I usually use this time to read a book or doing my guitar practice.

      I must admit I never saw bjd as plain dolls, for me they are more similar to pose-able statues than dolls, also none of those who saw them had a reaction "what a cute dollie" everyone said "this is wonderfuly sculpted , it must worth a lot" ... i think such stereotypes are more about children's dolls than such items of high value. Also when played/photographed in an artistic way the result looks more like artwork photos - project than plain game. So someone may use them differently , but the main characteristic I see is their artistic nature which is in general against such stereotypes.
      Dolls here are mostly an artistic project used for a dynamic- always changing poses decor ... surely none here feels lonely ...
       
    16. Haha well I don't actually have any real life friends as all mine decided taking drugs was fun, so I guess I am lonely even though I have the best fiance in the entire world. I feel safer when i'm with my dolls. I'm not crazy though and don't talk to them and pretend they're real people though :D I'd love to have friends if I could!!
       
    17. awww, i'm sorry to hear that about your friends. It can be rough (especially the transition) but you made a really good long-term decision for yourself :truffle Maybe you can meet some new people soon that don't have substance abuse issues ... possibly through this community :fangirl: We can't afford drugs, too busy paying for resin ;)
       
    18. I'd definitely consider myself antisocial, but lonely? Not when I started actually buying dolls. As weird as it may sound, this period in my life (the period in which I got into the hobby) is the happiest I've ever been. Which has nothing to do with dolls, incidentally.
       
    19. I think dolls only help the lonely in the same way that giving a bear to an upset child does: it's a distraction. Having dolls does nothing to cure actual loneliness.

      As for the 'dolls are for antisocial people' stigma, I'm not sure where that comes from. I fit in the category myself, but the other doll friends I have are all fairly balanced, social people. Who happen to own dolls.
       
    20. Don't think, a doll can help a lonely men by itself. A doll can reduce feeling of loneliness, but no loneliness itself. And the community of "doll-holders" - it can help, yes, if a man wants it. A doll is not a cure, it's only a way, a chance, if someone wants to change something.