dolls just for lonely people?

I think dolls can "help lonely people" perhaps by being an interesting, fun hobby so it takes one's mind off being lonely. Also, if someone is lonely and would like to make some friends, dolls, like any hobby, can help you meet other people with whom you'll have something in common to talk about - your dolls. You can talk to people right here on DoA or at meets or conventions or other events.

I think it may be possible for someone to have a doll, a stuffed animal, a special toy, a blanket, etc. that helps them feel less lonely and more secure - just as little kids have a special toy or "security blanket". But, I don't think that's going to work for everybody. If you're lonely because you want real live friends to go out and do things with, and you live in an isolated area, then the doll isn't going to fix that just by being there for you.

Of course it is a giant mistake to assume that all doll owners are lonely, antisocial, prefer dolls to people and so forth and so on. Some doll owners do, and some doll owners don't. In my experience I've found the majority of doll owners to be really oriented towards being friendly and social, to the point where if someone (like me) is not that way by nature, you get a few fisheyes. I'm a naturally somewhat antisocial person anyway for a variety of reasons, including an overly packed work schedule and wanting to save my social time for the few folks I really enjoy being around (my family, certain handpicked friends and the occasional school chum). I don't see this as having anything whatsoever to do with my liking or not liking dolls, though.

And yes, a lot of us prefer a space without people in it. I have a husband I love a lot and we've been together for a couple of decades. Despite all this, having him in my physical space gets on my nerves, OFTEN. I sometimes think it would be better if we just owned two houses next door to each other, and popped over for visits every day

 

bunnydots, I hear you!

I have a great husband and three amazing children under the age of 6 and I love being with them. I love crowded places and going out with friends. Still, I absolutely need time alone. So I reside on the other side of the question--I collect dolls because I'm crowded all the time by others and playing with my dolls is the antidote.

 

I am somewhat lonely, I don't have many friends...I know alot of people but wouldn't call them friends. My best friend is my roomie..known him a good long time but he works 2nd shift so after 2;30 Pm I am by myself till the next morning..and I don't have any friends to call and talk to ....but he has a GF now who comes down on the weekends so sometimes i don't even see him much on the weekend...but he does try to make time for me.
not sure if the dolls are for my alone-ness or loneliness..since I have 10 cats that keep me company more than the dolls do..dolls are inanimate but I do enjoy them very much. I don't consider myself antisocial but I am not a "people lover" either only because of the harshness people inflict on animals and other people.

But at least I feel as if I belong and don't feel like an outsider {like I have for most my life} for the most part.....and I've met alot of online "friends" who I can chat with.

I am going to my 2nd meetup this Sat, and am looking forward to it very much..

 

Hear, hear. And whenever anyone makes a comment like this, you invariably get back some response that someone is "fascinated by psychology" or "studied psych in school" and "finds the responses interesting". I agree, sometimes it is interesting to hear what other people think, but the constant analysis of why we do this, what the dolls mean, whether it's a compensation for being lonely/ having a less than perfect figure/ not having human children/ blahblah is nervewracking after a while.

The only reasons many of these things come up is because of how a doll looks and because adults aren't "supposed" to want to play with dolls, even though the concept of doll artistry has been around for decades and many of the "collectible doll" markets actually target adult buyers.

I don't mean this to put down the original poster but the whole overanalysis thing bugs me too. I didn't think when I took up a new hobby there'd be a million aspects of "is this weird?' "is this creepy?" "is this wrong?" "is this compensation for X?" "do we have a problem?" coming up. Maybe this would be a good debate topic for another thread

 

I actually have a very active social life, so dolls don't actually replace anything for me. I collect them really because I like dolls- I think we all get lonely once in a while, but a doll could never even begin to abate that feeling for me at least. When I get lonely, I go find someone.

 

I never get lonely, but I am antisocial. I really value my quiet alone time and enjoy my own company. But whether or not I enjoy the company of others doesn't really have anything to do with my dolls. They're a creative and artistic never-ending project. I have plenty of pets, thank you, and many many cats. If anything my dolls have made me even more introverted; Going to the gem show this weekend? No, I have to finish sewing as pair of pants for Kir. Want to go to the mall? No, I'm saving for a pair of Luts shoes. I'm only 30 and I'm turning into the mysterious hermet cat lady at the end of the steet that hates children and can be seen talking to creepy dolls in the garden... my pagan background only adds to the cliche. Now where did I put my toddler-sized cauldron?

 

Dolls are like pets for some I think. They love you unconditionally without judging you. In this world where everything we say and do is judged, weighed and deemed worthy or unworthy by friends, family and total strangers, it's refreshing to have something in our lives that don't judge and allow us to make our mistakes so we can learn from them. I equate it to the imaginary friend when you were five or that secret diary you kept hidden under your bed when you were a teenager.

 

I did have my psychologist tell me that she thought my dolls were replacing 'real people' in my life. I am a bit of a loner, I love people but I also like my own company so when she said this I took it on board and believed it. I don't believe it now though! I am not stupid enough to think that dolls are real people! I love my dolls, it is a great hobby and when I feel like it I can be quite sociable with real people too LOL
I don't know why people try to put me in a box and label me in some way just because I am 44 and play with dolls (Gosh, that sounds terrible doesn't it! maybe they do have a good reason!)

 

I tend to be shy and sometimes anti-social, but my dolls do not and have never compensated for whatever human contact I might be avoiding. To me they are simply pretty objects I enjoy playing with. It may be true for a few owners that owning dolls fill a gap they may otherwise find difficult to fill in their lives, but I doubt it is the norm.

Seconding River's sentiment that there are too many threads insinuating that doll owners collectively suffer from various complexes at some abnormally high level compared with the rest of the population.

 

I find companionship in my dolls but they do not substitute real people and my social life is uneffected by them. When I am alone my Doll helps me feel less lonely I have to admit.
I don't think there's any correlation between owning a doll and having 'personal issues' of anykind, it's a hobby ^^

 

I guess I am a lonely person. I long to go out and be around people, but sometimes it's not possible. Other times, I'll have the opportunity but don't want to go, be fearful of crowds or be uncomfortable. I never really thought of my dolls as having to do with that, they were more of a connection to my artist side, but I suppose the fact that they look like people drew me to them subconsciously.

I have a significant other and I live at home with my parents for now, which lends to needing to be alone sometimes. Spending time making things for my dolls or doing photoshoots is a nice way for me to have my alone time without feeling alone, if that makes sense.

 

I am antisocial [to a certain extent], but not lonely. I don't like being with people, i much prefer being with myself. Therefore.. meh. Dolls are much better than humans in some ways, but are NOT substitutes.

 

I get lonely occasionally I guess but when I do I just turn to my BF who I live with or my cats >^..^< I wouldn't turn to my BJDs because I don't really see how they would help with something like that.

 

When I first got into the hobby I could count the number of friends I had on 1 hand and was mostly preoccupied with school rather than social things. Now I'm pretty well-adjusted, have friends, someone I love, and am fine with social situations. From then to now, I always felt the same way about my dolls. Just by looking at them I feel calm, comforted, and relaxed. So while they may help someone who feels lonely because they give a person something to do, I don't think they are mostly fit to appeal to one type of person.

 

BJDs are for anyone who wants one and can come up with the money to buy one. I don't care for the notion that they're "only" for a certain type of people. It's an expensive toy, not an aspect of your personality.

 

I don't get lonely. I actually enjoy being alone, but I also enjoy socializing, even though I'm slightly more an introvert than extrovert (at least according to the Meyers-Briggs test). I have no problem socializing and can hang out with other people whenever I wish to.

I don't view my dolls as companions at all. They don't talk to me (although I may talk to them--it's totally non-productive, though!), and can't do anything with me or help me out. I suppose dolls could be a companion to some people, but all the people I know with dolls are quite friendly with people and socialize quite well... Maybe the really lonely ones are staying at home???

I go to meetups now and then--so dolls actually create more opportunities for me to socialize.

I have dolls because I think they are beautiful or handsome or cool-looking. I love fashions and dolls have great clothing--and they look better than I do in their clothes. And unlike me, they have more opportunity to wear amazing outfits. I just have a lot of fun looking at my dolls and dressing them up. And like others, I'm artistic, so it's a fun creative activity for me.

 

I don't have a lively social life but I'm not really lonely since I have my relatives near to keep me company and as for dolls being for lonely people. It depends on the person. Most dolls owners I've seen are very social and some are maybe not as social.

My dolls brought me both comfort and discomfort when I was living alone. Comfort through being a little tiny person/doll by my side and discomfort if I scare myself after watching a scary movie. So in a way I see them as replacement companions when I have none but they don't really replace real people in my life.

 

Haha! I actually got my doll to kind of vent out my frustration with not having more people such as myself where I am. She likes all of the same things that I like, she is unique and original. Don't get me wrong. I am not sitting around talking to her and taking her out to clubs or out to eat! But it is nice to have a little resin figure of what I would like my friends to be like.
By no means am I lonely. I have a bunch of friends, but I am just very different from them so it can be hard to have free conversation with them.... lol does that make ANY sense at all???

 

Dolls can definitely help with loneliness, but they aren't just for lonely people. I lost my mother about 2 years ago, and having my kids around definitely decreases the sadness from that. I like to think that each of them has a little bit of her personality inside it. Plus I know she'd love to see me being so creative with modding them and sewing for them.