dolls just for lonely people?

I don't think dolls are "just" for lonely people but for me...I met people who had them and later got my own. I'm no longer friends with those people and now only have my hobby for MYSELF.

I am chronically ill and except for classes I'm usually stuck at home...collecting BJD...even if I can't go to a meet, helps me be more social because I can talk to people online and I've even been visited by some people I've met on the forum (safely of course in a public place but later my home).

I also got into more activities by having my dolls and it's a great conversation piece!

 

I like dolls becouse they are not noisy, they do not talk too much about nothing really, sometimes I prefer to spend time with them than with people. I like lonelyness but I feel lonely very rare.

 

Since school ended I have been lonely, but I find that the dolls dont really help ^^; Im not really emotionally attached to my dolls as companions the way alot of the forum members are. They live in their own little worlds with their own little families, Im just an unforseen force.
I do have some dolls planned (two to be exact!) to be my 'companions' but until they get here I take no solace in a little resin humanoid living in my cupboard. Dolls arent made for conversations, hugs, patting your back when you cry or holding back your hair when youve had a little too much, thats what friends are for and thats why we value them. Dolls focus my attention, give me a creative outlet, and an emotional escape, but no adequate company.

 

I am pretty much a recluse. I stay inside almost all day every day. I got out ONCE A WEEK to be social with my friends and other than that I do not see people other than my daughter and my parents and grandparents occassionally. I am diagnosed with severe bipolar and have quite a lot of antisocial tendencies and I like being left alone.

While I do love my dolls, and I DO admittedly fit the stereotype being portrayed here, they're not a substitute nor are they just for lonely people. Personally, they're nice to have around and they are calming. They do make me feel often that I am 'not alone' in the sense that I do get a little nervous about being the only one in any particular place at one time (as my daughter is in school all day and I am by myself working from home). I wouldn't call that being a 'human substitute'. I would merely say it's just something that puts my nerves at ease.

Sure, I do get lonely, but that doesn't make my dolls a substitute for people. I have my daughter and my family and as I said, I do go out once a week to see people. I got my dolls for a creative outlet first and foremost and that is what they are. They give me something to occupy my mind and my time creatively and I utilise that as a method of keeping myself at a nice stable level of emotion and sometimes to even earn some extra doll money on the side (sewing or art etc).

 

Interesting... I also stay at home pretty much all the time. The word recluse fits me fairly well. I'm self-employed and am always working on some sort of creative personal project or gaming when I'm not working. I have not been to any doctor, but my friends / family know that I tend to have anxiety issues if I go out. If I have to go out or drive somewhere I can and have, but I tend to avoid it.

I have friends that hate being alone and need to socialize. I, on the other hand, like being by myself. I use to always be happy at home playing with my toys as a kid. I never went out to play much growing up. So I guess I'm just use to that way of living. I rarely feel alone. I have a group of close friends and thanks to the internet we can keep in touch and even play online games together and chat even though we don't live close by anymore.

In a lot of ways it is because of the internet that I find less and less reasons to even think about going anywhere. Want to buy something, chances are a local store doesn't have it, so just order it online etc.

I haven't really given much thought to this in connection to me ordering a BJD. I do have a cat that I give a lot of attention too, but you know cats, they tend to do their own thing. You can't force a cat to be social. So maybe a part of me did get a BJD to have "something" that can feel like company in my room, but it will never replace my real friends etc.

I think it will be interesting to see how I take to the doll when she arrives. Will I just put her on the shelf like another collectible, or will I feel some emotional attachment.

 

Hmm... I don't think that's always true, but it seems like a good chunk of people are not LONELY but rather, more homely. I don't feel less lonely with dolls-- I still need to interact with people, whether it's through forums like DoA, or in person like with friends at the mall. Then again, I'm still a teenager, and I think age has a bit to do with how much time you like to spend in recluse at home and whatnot.

I actually have a pretty guilty confession-- I've left my dolls alone on top of my bedside chest or on my bookcases for long periods of times, weeks or months, whenever I feel especially outgoing or if I am studying hard for school work or standardized tests (thank goodness I'm finished with those until the MCATs... sigh).

Whenever I DO get into the groove of actively playing with my dolls, I don't lock myself in my room or anything, I make time by procrastinating homework or whenever I get home from school or a social event. ^^;;;

 

There are days were I wish my dolls were my only company, but I think a lot of people have those days. I just have them more than other people. I run a daycare with my mom during the week so the less noise after the kidos leave the better. Also my best friend happens to be my girlfriend and my family is so close-knit I live a very fullfilled life. My dog helps too. ;3

 

I don't think dolls are just for lonely peoples.I like solitude, but I don't use my dolls to substitute humans..I kind of see them as 'pets' and creative Objects.

 

I am not intentionally anti-social, but I am definitely anti-social. I strive for interaction with other people, but my situation does not allow for much of that kind of freedom. I have my kids, but their interaction is not very "social" since they are so young, and hubby is so busy working. Given our circumstances, I am literally a shut-in. So like I said, I am not trying to by anti-social but that is the way the cards were dealt.

On that note, I did not buy my dolls to deal with my anti-social life or to be a substitute for human interaction. I do 'talk' to them and they do fill my time, but I do not have them because I am lonely. They do fill that job well, but that was not my intention in buying them. Having them around does help me cope with being lonely, but there is no true substitution for a social life.

 

Lolz, I'm a lonely person, but that's not why I collect dolls.... I don't think. Oh, God, meybe it is. o 3o
I think I just leanred something about myself today....

xD That freaked me out a little bit. Maybe so. But I don't generally think that people collect dolls because they're lonely. Most people just like to collect them cause they're cool and stuff, but hell, that could be the case with others. It's just the indavidual, and even if they do collect them cause they're lonely, who cares? Good for them; they have little friends to keep them busy and care about, and it's just... Good.

 

Im in Mississippi and im not lonely but i do find my self less willing to communicate with ther people here.
They are so nosy.. it's called southern hospitality around here... but in my book it is nosy busy bodies.
So, for that.... it might appear that many of us are anti social, but i do not think (in my opinion) that we collect dolls
to fill any void or help us with any loneliness we may have. Heck, i enjoy my time alone A LOT... I sew for my dolls
as wells as for my son.... I like to shop online, so it makes it a little easier to buy the dolls.
If there was a doll store here.. OMG... i'd be broke... So, no... im not collecting because im lonely. ( :

 

I'm a lonely person, but I don't think dolls are just for lonely people. I've heard of lots of couples that have dolls together.

 

Heck no - they arent just for lonely people.... I look at all the wonderful people I've met at doll meets and while some of them may be a little left of centre - being in a group of like-minded people really brings you out of your shell IMO and I wouldnt consider any of them to be lonely... There are very few people locally who are into dolls (reborns excluded... ScArY!!) but its amazing how many of my friends actually admire the hobby and the dedication it takes to bring home some of our dolls....

Having said that they are a comfort to me when I am feeling lonely/scared, and I have seen how much joy they can bring to someone who is down, PukiPuki's were dubbed "miracle workers" by the nurses at the childrens oncology ward in Brisbane when a little girl played with one of mine and smiled for the first time in her 3-4 weeks of treatment, One of the nurses bought her own to keep in her pocket for days when the kids needed a special pick-me-up,

I guess I can see perhaps the misconception that only lonely people are drawn to them....

 

I am rather anti-social, but i don't think my collecting of dolls have anything to do with being lonely...
Admittedly, I do turn my attention to them sometimes when i do feel lonely, but i also turn my attention to other things to take my mind of the loneliness.

 

I am a little bit antisocial, but I have found that having a hobby has helped - I have been able to meet a new friend and we've taken photographs of our dolls together, and I've managed to ask several of my friends to help me make clothes for my boys. So, having a doll is helping me get out and meet people, and means that with my doll friends if i get stuck for ideas for conversation, I can just talk about the dolls.

 

I don't think i am lonely, but I just buy BJDs because I like them. maybe I do have a bit of loneliness inside me, but I think I get BJD dolls because I just love them to bits

 

Well I'm not lonely but I get lonely as I'm sure 90% of people do at some point and then I turn to my Bjd's but it's not because they are dolls it's just because they are my hobby if I bird watched or collected cars and I was feeling lonely I would throw myself into that hobby because thats what takes your mind off feeling lonely, also the Bjd hobby for a lot of people is a very social hobby and I have made many new friends though the hobby. I often think because dolls are representations of people, people who don't quite understand collecting dolls feel the need to attach a psychological significance to it like "Oh she must be lonely" or "Something must be missing from his life" and though in some cases that might play a part it doesn't in all cases for some people Bjd's are a fun, creative and at times highly social hobby and nothing more.

 

I wouldn't think BJDs were for lonely people. I would think they are for CREATIVE people. People who need an outlet for creativity. The dolls allow you to draw (faceups), to sculpt (modding), to creative fashionable clothing, to sew, to use photography in a creative way, etc. etc. etc.....I guess in order to do all of that you need time to yourself to do these creative things...but to me that's by choice.

 

Teenagers and people in their twenties socialize differently than people in their thirties and beyond. People in the thirties and beyond take a lot of heat from the younger sets for how differently our lives are. And without even including doll folk and just speaking for people over thirty in general; life does become very lonely for the majority. Because you realize that the people you called friends aren't. Your "crowd" chooses different paths, you all separate around that age and go different ways, live different lives and even if you are still in touch it's not often. Sure there are a percentage that holds on to it's crowd of life-long friends but it's not generally the larger percentage.
So I think a comment like "dolls are for lonely people" is just another attack on certain individuals, and they can be any age. I've met people of varying ages at the doll meets who've said they had no friends prior to getting into the dolls.
It is my opinion that once we reach a certain age we realize who our friends are and we also see that we are better left alone than part of other's headgames. Which is how we end up alone.

I had friends in school. I had somewhat different friends in my twenties and now that I'm an adult, I have adult friends. To put us down for finding one another through a shared interest is just nasty and debasing. Plain and simple.
Life changes, so do people and circumstances.

 

gee~DanceCat, your comment makes me so sad....

back on topic, i want to ask how you defined the term 'lonely people' again? 'cause, everyone's got the 'loneliness' once in a while, i suppose?