dolls just for lonely people?

Everyone feels lonely and isolated some of the time. I move every couple of years because of work, so it's perma 'new-kid' feeling, always getting to know a new town, always meeting people who've known one another 'since grade school' while you're pretty much just meeting them on the spot and all.

I'm also a homebody. It's so funny, because my work does seem to attract the tirelessly outgoing type as well, and it's constantly barbeques and movies and shopping and weekend festival invites, and it's hard to say 'I really have been looking forward to this book, and writing something, and maybe watching an old movie on television' and having anyone understand how thrilling that time is for me. I do not need the same level of social stimulation as a lot of other people.

But...dolls filling a void? No, honestly I'd never thought of it that way, they're like brilliant little bits of artwork (I also have paintings and sculpture in my home, original works), with the added benefits of personal customization. But it's a supplemental joy, not a replacement joy.

But I do wholeheartedly agree that the older you get, the different sorts of friends you have, or are expected to have, LOL! I was, funnily enough, at a social event last night, and it was all mommy-talk and such that I was sort of packaged into, because I was 'in the age group' for that sort of thing. I was polite and all, but LOL! It occurred to me that I could pop up and go 'I don't have any experience with tantrums, my dolls, which are plenty expensive but cheaper than a baby any day, all play nicely together'. Sometimes it's nice to be a little bit alone.

.hlp

 

This sort of relates to another topic where I stated that dolls, for children, were something to practice social skills. This means that many people who do not collect, view collectors with a certain amount of mistrust. 'That person must not know how to interact with real people, if they have to resort to dolls for interaction'.

I have often found that although doll collectors are often slightly on the wacky side, it is no more then 'normal' people. Many are incredibly friendly, willing to talk and interact with you even though you may be polar opposites just because you have a doll, or are interested in getting a doll too. In fact the collector community was part of the appeal for me, as many of my friends who have dolls were so insistent that these were the friendliest people on earth.

As for me, I'm not lonely, you are welcome to see how many friends I have on facebook, if that is how you judge such things. I have lots of 'real' friends, who I interact with daily, in fact I am the opposite of lonely. For me dolls are something that I can explore privately, they are something I can choose to do when I've had enough of all my friends (as much as I love them dearly). Dolls are quiet and let you think quietly, and for many people I know that is their appeal.

 

Hmmm. I don't think dolls are JUST for lonely or antisocial people. Granted, I have dolls because I don't mind being alone. I think of myself as an introvert and I do have human friends. I don't have a full-on posse, but a very tight circle of friends. I collect dolls because I just like how they look (I like pretty things) and they can be great conversation pieces. I like photographing the dolls, so they are art-pieces to me. I have dolls like some women have Jimmy Choo shoes or Coach handbags.

 

I think your right, dolls do help if your lonely, or have difficulty making friends. I, personally have lots of friends, but I really like holing up in my studio for hours at time making work and not socializing. My husband gets annoyed because he thinks I have a hard time, or that I maybe I only like other artists, but I really like being in my space. It is odd though, since I bought my dolls, I find that I am now more interested in reaching out to other like-minded people, whereas before, I kept to my already established friends. So for me, dolls have opened up different friendships for me and I really feel less isolated in my studio.

 

I have a few very dear friends, and a fantastic girlfriend, and I do like my time to myself, but I certainly would not consider myself antisocial. If I have to define the want for a doll in a sort of psychological manner, I would say that it would fill the desire I have for a child.

 

No, absolutely no. I don't think dolls are just for lonely people. Why they should be? I accept, that in this hobby may be some percentage of people who really have doll to "fill the void" but there is majority of people who just enjoy the beauty of BJD, wanna create new art or just seek for a 3D form for their characters. IMO the dolls aren't just about friends.

I myself belong to the group of people who have many friends, but still enjoy to have a time for theirselves. This has nothing to do with dolls since I separate reality from "my inner world" where my dolls belong to.

 

I don't think BJDs are for lonely, anti-social people, now Real Dolls on the other hand, I've seen articles on the people who keep those and a lot of them come across as socially inept

 

I've never heard that dolls are for lonely and antisocial people; I am so sorry people have said that to you!!

What I *have* heard is that dolls are for little girls, but I tend to laugh at that and my family and friends know I love them. I also have to echo the fact that bjds are hardly a child's toy and they can be a wonderful expression of art. You know you have friends, and if they love you and accept you then forget what other people have to say about it.

 

First off, just to clarify, antisocial =/= Emo

People who are considered to be antisocial tend to be very outgoing. I'm currently trying to get my Bachelors in Psychology, and when I took General Psych, I was surprised to see that antisocial people tend to put themselves into positions where they can take advantage of the situation. Antisocial people tend to be very charming and charismatic, not awkward and hidden.

The stigma that goes with this belief about dolls, though, is that we still see dolls only as children's toys. People see you playing with dolls, and you're older than 11, and they think there is something 'odd' about you. People see dolls in two different areas - play dolls, and those you keep on a shelf in a case out of reach. Because this hobby isn't mainstream, people don't understand that this hobby simultaneously falls between the two, and yet is also neither of them. It all depends on what you do with them.

Plus, these dolls are great conversation starters, so awkwardness tends to not be so, well, awkward. And anime clubs are probably great places to take dolls, too, because anime-lovers tend to know something about them. And you might gain a bunch of friends that way! However, there's the other side, where people you already know might not want to hang out with you. But that's their problem.

Just remember that you can do whatever you want, just as long as it doesn't physically or mentally hurt you or anyone else.

 

I've always been the kind of person who just doesn't hang out with people. I don't consider myself a lonely person, I talk to my boyfriend, and a few friends I do have. The dolls is another way for me to meet people. There's meet near my house once a month and I've been running into the people from the meets in my regular life! So, no, I don't think this is for lonely people, maybe for people who just don't want to deal with others, sure that can be the case.

 

I don't really believe dolls are just for 'lonely' people. But then again, the way I got into the hobby in the first place was through a friend who was into them. I find that the dolls are really a big creative companion rather then just something for someone without friends. They really are good at helping bring people together; not to mention they draw people in with their stunning looks. I person could keep their dolls out of the limelight, but many do love sharing their dolls with others.

 

No. I wish I had more solitude, actually. I really like to just be left alone with all my possesions in their proper place, untouched by prying hands or eager eyes. I don't collect dolls because I'm lonely...though, why it could be wrong if someone did is beyond me?

They do help me work out the existance crisis I reguarly have, though. Odd that a material good that will ultimatly lead to nothing can do that.. o_O

 

I don't think dolls are only for lonely people, but I do wonder if there's a corelation between a person's social/emotional life and the way they use/treat their dolls. Of course some of that would just be time-related - if you have fewer social obligations, you probably have more time for the dolls. But then again, you can have an active social life and be lonely or have a very limited social life and be totally satisfied with it, so that wouldn't be a perfect thing by which we could measure it either.

I wonder if there isn't a difference in the clinical and popular meanings of "antisocial" though - one being the charming, non-empathetic one and the other just meaning "shy".

 

One day, I should try to dig out my old Gen Psych book and look it up.

 

I don't believe that they're solely for lonely people, I mean I've seen so many at the local meet that without dolls they'd still be as they are.. it's in their personality. I myself would consider myself a lonely person, though not antisocial I am shy and have a hard time knowing what to say in certain situations and end up merely saying two word sentences making it hard for me to gain friends.

I'm not entirely lonely though cause when I get online to chat with friends there's the semblance of having a friend there next to me having a proper discussion. I simply can't converse with a person face to face easily. It sucks, and though I'm working through it bit by bit it's who I am.

I've taken my doll with me where I go when I can. It's a great shield, I always had the conception that people look at me strangely might as well give them a reason. I feel much more confident with them on me, and if someone approaches to talk about the doll.. I'm fairly comfortable explaining and feel great afterward.

It's also great way to meet friends as with the dolls I attend meets and I feel I fit in because I have one to show off as well..

I remember my first meet without a doll to be had and I couldn't approach... once I had my tiny I felt welcomed in.

This being contrary to what I was originally saying of course, since I myself am a lonely person.. but had I not been I'd still be attracted to these dolls though. They're beautiful, neither a toy or some doll to leave standing in a cabinet/box (unless you so choose). I'd still probably have them on me to flaunt and feel great on top of it.. so.. the hobby really works both ways similarly. Not for only one personality type.

 

iris0110 took the words right out of my mouth. For me, I was an extrememly shy child and I found with a doll or stuffed animal I could talk and love freely...and as a child I had alot I needed to talk about ^^' Even though I am not as shy as I once was, the company of a doll(or my pets ) is still easier. I have friends and I love to hang out with them but I am most happy when I am by myself.
I don't think you can really say whether or not a doll is a suitable "cure" of loniless for everyone since we have all lived our lives differently. For someone with trust issues etc a doll may be able to help more than the forced situation with a person.

 

I think that maybe dolls are more suited to people who are more introvert, or loner types (not to be meant in a rude way ^^), because i myself prefer my own company, i'm not a social butterfly at all...and i noticed that quite a few people who have answered on here are saying they are introvert types, so maybe it's just that dolls naturally attract those who are not as sociable or quiet?
As for making you feel better, i think that it can be very therapeutic to take care of a doll, even talk to them about your thoughts or problems if you need to get them off your chest ^^ Sometimes i just want to say random things that upset me or make me annoyed, and saying them to a doll can help, because they don't judge you ^^

 

I think dolls help lonely people because you can have a lot of fun and creativity with them as well as meeting others with the same hobbies and tastes might help make friends ^.^

Since I've never been good with people it's nice having them around as company~!

 

IMHO that is so not true!
Well, at least not in my case. I live with my fiancee, and we have a roomate that, like myself, is unemployed and at home with me right now. I have my dog, and roomate has her dog, and I have a cat, and I also rent my basement to 2 other (guy) friends, so we are never alone here, between all of us and other friends that visit. So I am definitely not lonely.
I got my doll as a creative outlet, and then discovered there is a whole community of doll owners, and have been learning about the hobby, and I have to say I am LOVING it
I am also meeting new people. I went to a meetup, and there is another one tomorrow, and I can't wait to get out there and see some different dolls and have some fun

 

I was very antisocial when I was little, but now I'm horribly social and constantly dragging my antisocial boyfriend into social situations. The thing is I collect tons of toys, not just dolls so I don't know if that affects the argument at all. I do know however that there is some strong child-free movement sentiment in the doll collector world. Also those with Autism spectrum disorder, even light levels of it, are more likely than those without the disorder to get attached to things like toys emotionally.

I think personally (Opinion warning!) that collecting any kind of toy into adulthood requires two things: Open-mindedness regarding differing from societal expectations, and a good amount of imagination. These are the same qualities you see in gamers, and other subcultures who socialize actively. The unfortunate thing is those that follow societal expectations usually don't comprehend differing choices so they create mental rationalizations for this behavior ("Gamer's are out of touch with reality, doll collectors are lonely") So lonely, no, not everyone.