Dolls' Sexuality and Owner's Sexuality: Are they related?

Feb 22, 2011

    1. I'm a straight married mom, but all of my boys are gay...and I think this is because, as a writer, most of my main characters in my stories are gay or bisexual. My dolls' characters feel like my literary characters in my mind, so it's probably no surprise that their sexualities are similar. Even though their orientation doesn't reflect my own sexuality, it does reflect my interest in non-traditional relationships, so yeah, for me it is linked in a way..
    2. I'm bisexual too, and I don't think that BJD's are a manifestation of the owner's sexuality. I think that this is more bound with the archetypes of a classical men and women, and we, with our original hobby, break them.
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    3. Interesting topic! Like others, I don't think there's an intrinsic link between dolls and sexuality, but there is one for many of us. In my case, I'm polysexual/queer and all of my dolls are queer (of some sort) as well. Part of the reason why I love my dolls is because they've always been an outlet for me to express varying conceptions of queer sexuality, as well as gender variance and fluidity:3
    4. Nah, unless the doll is some sort of owner avatar, I don't really think you can draw a line between the two. More open-minded people are bound to have more diverse dolls, and that's pretty much it. The kid doll I have is, however, based on my own knowledge that kid tend to not have a gender(IE, they can pretty much be whatever they want).
    5. I think sometimes it might be related..... I'm straight, my boyfriend is bi, and collectively our characters are all over the homosexual\heterosexual scale. Of the characters that are or will be in doll form, the majority of them are straight, but I didn't think about this when I made them up. I'm pretty sure I only have three characters who will be dolls that aren't straight, (one gay man, two bi men), which is almost nothing comapred to the thirty-two-doll long list of characters-to-be-dolls........ I dunno, I NEVER thought about it until now. I suppose there's probably a link between what the owner feels is natural for them and therefore what feels natural for their dolls to be like...
    6. I'm what I have heard called hetero-flexible. As in, I generally lean toward guys, but if the right girl comes along I'm totally not opposed. Also, in my past I've been in open and polyamorous relationships (these did not end well... >.>). But I don't really think my dolls's sexuality has much to do with my own.

      Let's see... we have:

      1 demisexual: Quinn - married to a man. He has no sexual feelings for someone, at all, until he's fallen in love with them or at the very least developed a VERY strong emotional attachment. It's all about the emotions.

      1 gay: Spencer - married to a man.

      1 homo-flexible: Lily - currently dating a man, only dated women before him.

      2 bisexual: Amrynn - engaged to a man. Ginaphae - so far only dated men.

      4 straight: Bree - dating a man. Kendall - currently single (though possibly dating a female couple in a 3-way relationship soon). Stardust - married to a man in an open relationship, plays with other men. Gunnar - single.

      1 unknown
      : Lucas - is to busy with his work to care, is very anti-social... has shown mild interest in one girl, but she used him and walked all over him, no interest since. Currently just finds it all "illogical".

      1 too young to know for sure: Zane - he's only 10, but so far has had a small crush on a girl he briefly "talked to online", and now has a big crush on his bff's dad (purely innocent - but "he's SO COOL!!")
    7. Well... I think it depends on the person. I'm an bisexual, but almost totally lesbian girl, and my dolls/the dolls I want are all based on my original characters. My original characters are like me, gay, lesbian, bi or some even asexual, and I love them so much I want dolls to represent them. But there's nothing sexual in my relationship to them, rather an emotional bond, and I certainly don't get them as outlets for my sexuality. Also, I really liked them before I even knew I was queer, so I can't see them related to my sexuality in that way. Though of course, they're queer because my OCs are queer, and my OCs are queer because I can't relate as much to a straight person as a queer person, and by making them queer they have a stronger emotional value to me.
    8. I'm bisexual, have a boyfriend, and yet most of my dolls are lesbians. I also dislike yaoi and love yuri... I think for me it's mostly because I just don't find boy dolls attractive, or just my general distaste for effeminate males? Yay for weird tastes?
    9. I don't think I've ever thought about this before. 0.o I'm straight and right now, 2 of my dolls are straight and 2 are bi. (I'm counting my floating head as a whole here) I've been dressing my Homme Kirill up extremely girly lately but, he's straight which seems a little confusing. He's also going through a character change right now because I haven't been happy with him since he came home so who knows what his sexual preference will end up being. I'm leaning more towards female bi dolls than males now though which might be why I've been wanting to dress boy dolls up like girls. =X
    10. I'm so glad this topic hasn't gotten locked, and it's to the credit of everyone else who's already posted and been so mature in doing so. I don't even own a doll yet and I think this is fascinating reading. But most of what I would say has been said multiple times, and very eloquently, by others.

      The topic matter seems to have fluctuated a little here and there, but if we're talking about whether there are a higher percentage of queer doll collectors or if there is an inherent connection between doll collecting and some level of queerness (which seems to have been the original question), I agree with all those who've said basically that people who are already part of a non-mainstream subculture are more likely to gravitate towards other non-mainstream subcultures, and I'd venture to say that the majority of people who collect dolls in some way pursue an "alternative" lifestyle or interests. But not necessarily alternative in terms of sexual preference. So I would say that the percentage of queer people in this hobby is almost certainly higher than in the general population, but probably not astronomically so.

      If the question is whether doll characters tend to have similar preference as their owners, I also think that for many people who have an alternative sexual preference, in something which can be as personal as creating fictional characters, it can color those character, but not necessarily at all. (Actually, this goes for people of ANY sexual orientation, inasmuch as one typically identifies or more intimately understands the psychology of those of their own sex and orientation, though of course, not always.)

      Speaking for myself, how much a given character I might invent would reflect me would, I think, be in part determined by whether an idea for a character just "popped" into my head, divorced from any context or narrative, or if the character was created with the greater interests and constraints of a story in mind. This would not be conscious on my part, in fact it never occurred to me until just now, but I think almost inevitably a character created spontaneously with no particular story in mind would be more likely to have more traits in common with me and with which I could identify (in other words, have better odds of being young, female, a/demisexual/disinterested/at best heteromantic). .....And then on the other hand, when a storyline demanded it, I once found myself roleplaying an obese 40-something closeted gay man. That is not the sort of character I'd have imagined out of context, yet he became one of my favorite inventions. Ever XD To tie this back into topic, my guess is, dolls and doll characters seem to tend to be very personal creations, and that type of character creating may be more likely to reflect owner preference than, say, creating a cast of characters in a novel who serve the needs of a narrative, but again not necessarily.

      I could say more about crossover with the anime/manga subculture, aesthetic androgyny, and things like yaoi/shonen ai simply being "in" in some subcultures, and why, but other people have already pointed these things out very well.
    11. Actually, I'm Stright and my Doll (Coming home soon) Is Gay. Haha. I think that all my dolls will either be Gay or Bisexual, or Asexual (One character is Asexual). But Nope I'm just a straight Gal. Haha.
    12. I'm Gay and I want a good ballance of characters . I haven't started getting dolls but I'm saving. I know my main characters will be a believable mix. My main characters are gay ... but I write what I know I guess? I think it's intersting and I feel this hobby welcomes me more then any other hobby of mine. Like chat based RP.
    13. I personally have never thought of my dolls being either gay or straight. I have been amazed at how many bjd owners I meet that when introducing their doll, will immediately say- he is gay, she is likes girls, etc. (I wasn't really curious, but I admit it makes me look at the doll and the owner a little oddly- )

      Oddly, for me, because I don't really care if dolls have sex. I am married, and a 'straight' woman, so I don't really see the connection between an owner 's sexuality and an inanimate object such as a doll.
    14. I'm bi too ^^ But my doll isn't an outlet, he's too young! XD Now the characters that I write about, maybe? But I'm more than happy to stare at pretty ladies when they walk down the street towards me XD
    15. LOL I see the point .. maybe its because I use them for characters in a story I am writing, Its not about sex as much as characters reltionships with eachother. I feel that emotional connections enhance the story. I don't picture the doll having sex with another doll so to speak. It's more like- these are visual representations of characters in a story I'm trying to tell. In which one or two of the main characters just happen to be gay.
    16. [paragraph]I think this a very interesting thread, an I ink that the OP has every right to ask this question, just as anyone here has the right not to answer it or even read it. As far as sexuality, I think it has a connection, the dolls are dolls and not humans yes, but they certainly have most if not all the visual likeness of a human, and that does matter. Dolls are, and have been for thousands of years, a recognized symbol in the human psyche, they are a representation of humans, often individuals. That's not speculation, thats historic fact. From that we can gather that yes, the personification that we ourselves give to the doll, intentionally or not, will often stem from our own minds in such a way as to be correlative to our personal thoughts, traits, and experiences.[/paragraph][paragraph]Do these things have everything to do with our sexuality? Absolutely not, but they still have to do with us as people and all the things I listed above and how those things affect our decisions. We are interested in the things we follow and are fans of, not just randomly, but because they often spark something in our psyche that then gives us pleasure to pursue. We love the things we love for a reason. Whether you'd like to believe that or not, is fine too, but I have seen no reason against it.[/paragraph][paragraph]Personally? I've always like pd boy things better than girls, but that's part of who I am. I enjoy male beauty as an artist and that carries into being a male doll collector. It probably also has something to do with striving to recognize maleness in myself, when I recognize the female aspects of myself closely. Then again, I am very male person, but appreciate some thing generally viewed as "girly" or otherwise gender specific to the opposite sex. That being said, my dolls are all males. That what I enjoy, they are sexualized beings in some way as they are anatomically correct, why make them so otherwise? Truthfully, I will one day get a female doll. After all, I did still play with barbies when I was a younger boy, and there is nothing wrong with seeing the beauty in something so perfect as the feminine form, just as with the masculine form. I'm afraid these are more ramblings of an artist who is up too late...oh wells -,~*[/paragraph]
    17. *raise hand* i'm bi , and soon to be owner of a doll (finally first BJD) :D

      i don't think there's a link at all , its all up to every each different taste

      i'm not planning to make my doll gay / bi / les ~
      i don't know why but i love seeing malexfemale couple , specially forbidden one :sweat
    18. I am aromantic asexual and most of my dolls are very open. I would say they are bisexual except my msd boy he is more asexual like I am his father is bi but really likes girls and boobie XD.

      I think with me it a reflection of if I was really intrested in sex this is how I would be. Its easier to let the dolls have the romantic feeling as I can control how they go in my story and I can know the limites of what I can stand.
      Personally I am Open to however other people are does not matter to me. I just like to have the control and limites with my dolls so I no when too much it too much.
    19. I don't know if it's been mentioned, but I've read that females are much more likely to be bisexual than males are (it's extremely common in females - who at least have more of a capacity to find others of their same gender sexually attractive - than in males, who are very rarely bisexual), and the fandom seems to be mostly female, so that may have something to do with it.

      That's just some idle musing and nothing more, though. It might be interesting to take a large poll sometime to see how it all breaks down. Bisexuality also means different things to different people - there are some who might find other members of their own gender attractive but never act on it, and so might not consider themselves bisexual, etc.
    20. I think you might have a point here. Although I can only look to myself (my current doll is Asexual and that has nothing to do with my sexuality) but the one Im planning to get will probably be Bisexual or Lesbian (as I see her now, but she could change ones I get her :D).

      And yes, I am also a Bisexual doll owner. Didn't really yhink of this before.

      The only thing I did think about before is that most young doll owners in the Swedish community that owns boy-dolls tend to make them gay. No idea why, seems to be a fashion-thing atm.