Don't be embarrassed!

It sounds like you are succumbing to peer pressure whether you realize it or not. When you behavior is influenced by your friends (for good or bad) you are not being true to yourself.
Ask yourself :

1-Why did I buy my doll in the first place?

2-Am I embarassed if my friends were to find out how much I really like him?

You ask how you are supposed to treat him. Well treat him like you want to .Play with him or not but do not modify how you treat him because of who you are around.

Since you said you feel 'guilty' about how you treat him when you are with your friends then that shows that you really dont like the way you treat him when you all are together.
Next time leave him at home. Then you wont feel guilty about how you treat him and you can go home and enjoy playing with him later. Just because they are your friends doesnt mean they h ave to like bjds or even understand why you like bjds.

Remember this hobby should be fun and enjoyable not filled with regret and guilt and inner confusion!

 

I am only slightly embarrassed about my boy, but that is due to the gorgeous dolls I see and my poor boy who is still under work.
But you know, I kinda treat my boy almost like a pet...but you know without the feeding and such. I mess with him all the time, and believe me, I only have one place where I can actually take him. My friends don't accept my new hobby that much...so I am out of luck in this case...
But you should make sure that you are committed to this hobby, like why did you buy him and such and why do you feel embarrassed about him. Is it because this hobby isn't something you can't share with your friends or because this isn't something you see so often? There are ups and downs about it. I just got my boy about a month ago and I am still embarrassed to show him to some of my friends, though I won't walk out in public with him just because of safety matters, though if I am with a friend, that completely changes...
But that is off topic. You say you're uncommitted, which the fact you are truthful is good, but you need to also wonder if you are sure that he is the doll for you? Sometimes, you think you have found a doll and go out and finally buy him, but you know, it doesn't always end a happy ending. I was really nervous to touch my boy, because he was more than what I expected.
The fire of interests may just be dying down or maybe you are just to worried about what others think...I can't exactly tell you that, but I am hoping you figure yourself out.
That would be the best, for you and the doll.
​

 

I'm more ashamed and embarrassed at myself. I can never get Tema's faceup right. It looks so good in person right now and I love it. Then I take pictures and all the tiny imperfections are made bigger. I feel so ashamed. I've let him down because I suck so bad.

Of course, being a Mythdoll (one of the first) he's not in the most even shape. The eyes have never matched (size and eyelids) and the lips are uneven. So I have tried and done the best I can. But I feel I embarrass him more than he does me. :3

And in taking them places, I'm more worried they'd get hurt than have someone make me feel bad about having them. They're the only children I'll ever get to have, after all. :3

 

i am not embarrased about my doll, but i am... careful.

when asked about my hobbies and interests, i mention that i collect bjds, and i often have to explain what "bjd" means. however, i dont tote my dolls around in random places. i think a ot of the negative feedback people get (and seem to brag about for some reason) is the reactions when a doll is taken to an inappropriate place. dolls are not resturant attire, nor do they read books at barnes&noble, they have no buisness being taken either place except to be made a spectacle of, which is how many people react. unless there is an organized doll event, like a show or a meetup, there is no real reason to take your doll out and about with you. personally, i dont understand this practice much at all, as id hate to damage or dirty my dolls by toting them around in places they dont belong. the only justification i can think of for taking your doll "out" is to take to place to get cothing for your doll for size comparison (ike if you have a mini gem or something smal that could wear commercial doll clothes) or if your doing a photoshoot (but the ratio of true photoshoots and photoshoot-as-an-excuse is pretty uneven).

all in all, i get little to no negative feedback for my dolls. however, i dont go showing them to every tom dick and harry i meet, either. for every tom and harry, there is a dick.

 

I know how you feel. Certain friends of mine love them and such, but others just don't know what to think about them. I don't have any friends that actually have dolls so that doesn't help much. I get kinda of lonely about it.

Taking my dolls in public though, its different. I do it sometimes. I want to take both of them but it can be hard. Like I would if I had someone else with me. I take them with me when I got to the hobby store and such. The employees and other customers are amazed but normally don't ask about it.

 

I have to say in all honesty... I was just like those friends of yours. My best friend started getting into BJDs about a year ago I think. And she would talk to me about it and I would just look at her like she was crazy, and I'd ask her how on earth she could justify spending so much on an inherently plastic doll that served no other purpose than something just for her own amusement. When she started saving up for her first I kept thinking to myself that she'd never accomplish it, and I kept hoping that she'd just "grow out of it."

Well, she didn't.

It took me a long time to talk with her about her first doll, a Dollmore M Model Kyle Reese. He would sit there at her apartment and I'd basically just ignore him. I'd never talk about him, never compliment him, but suddenly I found myself growing more curious. And in talking with my friend more, I finally brought up the subject and she, for all the resistence I'd given her before, was more than happy to answer all of my questions.

Now I have two full dolls and am waiting on the arrival of my third, and it's really only been about three months that I've been interested in BJDs. I had a little difficulty warming up to my first, but once she was clothed and made-up I started posing her around and taking pictures, and I just fell in love. I definitely know that I can't talk to everyone in my life about this, but I'm lucky enough to have other friends who own BJDs and who are like-minded as myself. I would suggest, before you write Jan off, seeking out people around you. Here in Indianapolis we have doll meet-ups once a month where a group of us get together and bring our dolls, and we just have at it taking pictures and playing games and talking dorries. Maybe there is a group in your area too, or maybe you can start one. It's a lot easier having people around you to support your hobby, instead of looking down on it. I'm not saying your friends are bad people, but they just aren't into that aspect of your life like you are.

So broaden your horizons a bit, and make some friends on DoA. I'm sure that once Jan is complete and you have some wonderful people to show him off to, you'll be feeling a lot better and a lot more secure.

 

I'm so far the opposite! XD It's usually my friends that are embarrassed to be around the crazy person with a doll.

Today I went and visited my friend at work and took along my newest little guy so I could introduce them. It was his first trip out of my house since I got him and he got to go to a truck stop. XD But anywho, everyone looked at us kind of weird for giggling over the tiny doll but neither one of us cared.

 

I swore that I would act normal around friends and co-workers who were weirded by my Ro and then act myself around my friends with their own BJD's but there are times(Like when I took him to work, I work at an elementary school and a pet shop) That I couldn't help but be myself and I have to say that it was slightly embaressing but Ro is Ro and I am me so why change, y'know? The people who had a problem with him or were weirded out just have to deal with it and you just kind of ignore what they think.

One co-worker of mine (elderly lady) asks me how Ro is all the time and asks when I'm gonna bring him in again and its people like that that make me realize my embaressment isn't necessary.

 

I take my dolls places sometimes. To my friends house, to the Doll stores and occasionally to places to take pictures. It can be embarrassing sometimes, I totally agree. And I agree with whomever said earlier about the taboo that society has on playing with dolls past a certain age and how it affects my way of thinking about my dolls in public.
I talk about them all the time to my coworkers and friends, though they already think I'm a little weird. LOL. I think what I get most embarrassed about is when people ask me the price of my dolls. It took a LONG time for be to justify spending the amount of money you have to on one of these dolls, and I feel people just think of me horribly when I tell them how much they cost. Like, "Why don't you spend that kind of money on something more useful?", "Do you really make that much money at your job?!" or "You probably could have paid off your car, credit cards, etc etc with that money!"
>.<! It makes me uncomfortable and sometimes it makes me regret being into this hobby. Though I plan and save for every doll I have and hope to have. They're typically not impulse buys (I have had some of those when it comes to clothing XB) that deplete my accounts. And I always pay my bills. XD;;;

Still, I love my dolls, and I think that, yes, we have all felt somewhat embarrassed by them at one time or another.

 

I used to tell everyone at first about my lovely dolls, but found most are really not interested, I have found most of my 'Real" friends not aquaintances do accept that I love my dolls, since I dont just collect one type and my collection has grown, I often get asked if they can bring a friend to show them my collection, I am happy inside and with myself , I am not embarassed by collecting dolls, its just that its not everyones cup of tea,, and those who dont care for my dolls, I find I dont include them in any new dolly news or additions.....

 

When I got my first ABJD (Volks SDC Kaede) in 2005, I took her to a meeting of the fashion doll club I belonged to. I was somewhat stunned when my fellow members rejected my doll, saying the found her funny looking or just weird. But I didn't let their attitudes sway me from how good I felt at having this special doll in my life. And within minutes of getting back home, I started getting emails from some of the club members asking me for more information about both Kaede and ABJDs. Basically, I agree with Shakespeare..."To thy own self be true"...don't let anyone talk you out of how great you feel about having your doll. You will learn, if you haven't already, that you just can't please all the people you'll meet in life, nor should you even try to. Some will get you, some won't, and some will like you anyway, even if they have no idea why you're into dolls at whatever age you happen to be.

Juli DC

 

Nearly all of my friends are "against" my hobby or they think Im "stupid" but, while Im not going to try and tell them they are wrong or make them change their mind, I have learnt to (for once) look at what I want to do. I love my dolls and the characters they are and no one should be allowed to stop that I reckon. I have also bought dolls that I havent bonded with, so maybe that's why you dont think you like Jan. All I can say is give it some time and see where it goes from there

 

Well... I only get kinda embarrassed when I take the out and there's a bunch of 8 year old ish girls running around me with their parents. Cuz then it's like "OMG GROW UP WILL YOU?! A DOLL?!! WHAT??!!!" feeling when they look at you.

;__;

 

The first time I took my first doll out in public I was kind of worried. My friends who have seen them are pretty creeped out by them, but I don't mind. x3 I usually turn Jordan's (My AA Yi) head to watch them and it's amusing. XDD
Either way, the first time I took him out was at an anime convention, and I was worried until people started coming up to me going "Wow, is that a ball-jointed doll! I have always wanted one! 8D 8D Can I hold him?" I made the mistake of letting a crazy girl hold him and she bent his knee backward (no damage, but it freaked me out). >_> But aside from that it was a pretty pleasant experience. My mom loves my dolls so much that she got one. xD So far no one has expressed a real dislike for me because of my dolls, so I'm pretty happy. I'm so weird for other reasons, most people take my dolls as just another facet of my odd personality. XD

 

If it embarrasses anyone to bring their dolls out in public or to talk about them, the answer is easy: Don't do it!

Your dolls are for YOU, not for anyone else. If you like them, that's the important thing. Too many people seek validation from others when it's not important at all and they should learn to value their own opinions.

If you like your dolls and WANT to take them out or talk about them, then go ahead. Just be aware that not all situations will be ideal for it, but if you don't mind, then go for it.

I try not to be embarassed about anything I do if I think it's right for me. I will try to avoid situations I know will just bother me. But if it's something I feel is right, I'll just go ahead and try to be true to myself. If I lived how others wanted me to live, I'd not have half as much fun as I do and I'd miss out on so much!!!

 

I'm one of those crazy-types who has a hobby of sticking out. From going to casual resturaunts in formal wear, to wandering the neighborhood in my ren faire garb, to toting my puppets with me everywhere I go (I have no doll yet, but as soon as I get one, you can bet he'll get out and about with me whenever an opportunity presents itself) Most of the people I'm friends with just sort of roll their eyes and ignore whatever it is that's making me look crazy, or are dressed up or carrying something crazy with me.

So I don't think embarassment is going to be much of an issue with me.

 

I'm not at all embaressed except I never tell my grandma what I pay *laugh*. I think part of it is that as I get older, what other people think affects me less and less. I can't say don't let it bother you, because when I was younger I was alot more conserned about what other people might think or say. Then i realized... why would I care?

Don't let what other people think make you feel bad about your interest in dolls. If you don't bond in a few months then perhaps look for a doll thats better suited to you.

Ironicly i'm a sculptor I make sculpts for artists and they cherish these things. I don't even collect them. So I think you just have to enjoy your dolls and over time you will also get friends you can "doll dork" out with.

 

In a way, yes. I don't take my boy out with me; mainly because he's awkward to carry [as he's a SD] and I'd hate him to get hurt/damaged/really dirty or something, but also because I'd get too many stares and odd reactions.
As far as my friends and family... I don't hide him at all from them. I've actually gotten a few friends into dolls, two of which know what dolls they want and are going to start saving for them soon. I don't ever talk about dolls to some friends, because some aren't really interested. [In fact, one is freaked out by them and doesn't like to be around them. xD]

So, yes and no, but if I could only pick one then I'd say no, because I keep a picture of Satsuki and Arlene in my school binder and will tell people I don't know about them. [Not randomly though... like if I'm looking for a sealant I'll tell them I need it for my ball joint doll that's made of resin.]

 

They are my dolly nephews as we all know L'Okapi wont be having babies lol So if your weird I am!

I don't have a BJD yet but a friend of mine made me a plush doll of my RPG Character Zantham Shamil from Lady Bugs Breath and I take him EVERYWHERE with me and he is my baby! My mom came with me to Comic Con in Winnipeg and I had him with me and at one point I had to potty so mom baby sat him and a girl noticed him and asked her if she was a fan of LBB. And she was like 'No just Baby Sitting my Grandson! His mommy had to pee!' I came out at this point and the girl was like. "Oh wow. Really! You are cool!" I had to interrupt them to save my 'Son' from the hands of this girl. I found out she is a fan of the RPG I am in and loves Zanny! So I am happy to know people are cool with my Plushy boy! I am sure they will be fine with my Bigger son! I can't wait to get him... *wonders how much longer*

So yup my GF is upset cuz I am getting one before her and my hubby is all WTF! and yeah! YAY!!! I can wait to bring him with me!

 

My dolls stay home and dont go out at all. Very few pple knows about my doll hobby only very close relatives and friends who comes to my house. I dont want to deal with pple who ask why r u still playing with dolls at your age or why waste money on them or you have two kids why do you need dolls or you can use those money to go to Hawaii etc etc. Oh yah the post office lady knows I collect dolls bec. 99% of boxes that comes to me is dolls LOL