Don't be embarrassed!

well, yah, i do get emberrassed a bit, like when people glare at me when thay see my dolls, but then again, i'm kinda shy a bit when around other people i don't know, so, yah.

 

I usually explain to people that BJDs are barbies for big girls lol. And when people don't understand the price issue I calmly explain that its the same as buying a PS3 and 2 games, a new consol every year and new game every month. Or people that like to mod their cars. Spend a crap load of money on cool shiney parts to race it and crash it then start all over again. lol A doll may not play games and I can't drive one, but the happy squee factor is the same. People usually get it afterwards lol a soft "Oooooh...yeah well I guess that makes sense."

Other times, when I got out with my dollie I actually make a game out of how many WTF BBQ looks I recieve. Now that is rather funny ^.^
But its understandable to not have the energy to deal with ignorance sometimes. On those days, I just leave my boy at home ~.^

 

It is true a person gets weird looks when you carry around a doll but I think mostly it might curiousity about you and your doll that gets the looks so I wouldnt worry about it to much.

 

I actually thought i was one of the youngest bjd people out there and to my surprise i found people as young as 13 who are bjd owners. Embarrassment when it comes to being a bjd owner *or insert preferred title here* can't be associated with age. Age is not a factor when it comes to being secure or embarrassed about this particular hobby. Every person is different and regardless of age people may or may not be embarrassed about having bjd's. Often people feel embarrassed when their hobby is not supported or shared by family members, friends or significant others.

 

This is a really good thread, I am glad you brought it up, Kendra (Thats my sisters name by the way xD )

My Dad doesn't understand the hobby at all, and often gives me odd looks and brushes me off when I want to show off a new piercing I did and what not. But I don't like it effect me because as long as I am proud of it and enjoy it, thats all that should matter!

 

Eeee, I'm getting closer and closer to the date when I'll finally be ordering my first BJD, my MNF Seorin ^_^. Part of the reason I'm so excited is because around here, all of my friends and family know I've wanted one for a long, long time, and while some people think I'm crazy to be spending $500 or so on a doll when I could be using it to pay for grad school or whatever...they already know. And there are plenty of people in the Denver/Boulder/Metro area that are into BJDs, so there's lots of people to meet up with and hang with here!

My worry, though, is about when I leave here. This time next year I will be either going to grad school in New York City, going to grad school in Scotland, or doing the JET program. I'm obviously going to be bringing my boy with me (because hey, if I pay that much for him, I'm not just leaving him at home to gather dust!), and while I doubt it'll be an issue in Japan, if I get into Glasgow like I want, or even Hunter, I'm kind of worried. It's a weird analogy, but I keep thinking about when I came out as bisexual...how awkward is it going to be to have to explain to roommates/classmates/whomever about my hobby and my doll? I don't want to hide it, I'm excited and love talking about them and checking out my friends' ones, but when I have one of my own and it's no longer an abstract concept and I'm away from my security net group here, how am I going to get over being embarassed and just "come out" about my hobby?

I'm not being too overly dramatic about this, really, I'm just thinking, "Yeesh, I've never had to explain this to anyone before because they already knew...how do I explain my boy to whoever I room with, or to classmates when he comes with me, or any time, really?"

 

When I did JET I didn't tell anyone aside from a few close friends that I collected dolls. It is actually considered a bit of a weird niche hobby in Japan and it is best to keep it to yourself and focus on presenting yourself as a person first, and then if you get to know people better and you think they might find it interesting then introduce your dolls.

My big tip, look for other doll collectors wherever you are and share your dolls with them. There are collectors all over the world that would love to get to know you and your dolls. DoA meetup threads are great for that. It's a fun hobby, but not something I feel a need to tell everyone about.

 

I think you forget that Japan is by and large a conformist society. If collecting dolls is viewed as a "weird hobby" here, then it's probably about the same in Japan, or worse, because there's all sorts of social pressure to be "normal" over there.

And I really don't think that owning dolls is anything like being open about one's sexuality - but that's just my personal opinion.

 

Heh, I guess I shoud clarify...I figure that I could find other doll owners in Japan with about the same ease I can in Colorado, not that they'd be everywhere, so I'm less nervous about feeling alone there than in, say, Scotland. ^_^.

It is in my opinion, but that's because it's been a similar experience for me...everyone knew I wasn't straight even without me actively saying something and when I'd finally get up the guts to actually come out and say it, it wasn't like the usual big coming out of the closet type things because I knew everyone already knew. It's the same with me and dolls...I know when I get mine in, it might seem weird for me at first showing him off, but since everyone I know already is aware I wanted one, it'll just be like, "Oh, you finally got one then?", sort of like when they'd say, "Oh, so you're actually going to join in with the hot-girl-gushfests now!" I don't mean to say it's like that for everyone (I got lucky), I just meant for me. That's why I specified comparing it to my situations, heh!

 

I love telling people about my bjds - although I do refer to them as 'art dolls' rather than dolls. I've had a few of the 'aren't-you-a-bit-old-for-it' looks but when i've explained that they can be customised and posed like people the reactions soon turn positive. I took my DES Leleth to a scrapbooking class I go to and she was passed around like a baby! Hobbies are personal things, my friends think my dolls are strange, but accept them as something that interests me. Don't be shy about it - take him to school with you, answer questions and (reluctantly) let people touch! If we can accept other peoples race/sexuality/gender I see no reason not to accept peoples hobbies too!

 

I've been slowly dropping the subject on to my RL friends. They have no clue that I like these dolls because we're not into the things that generally go with BJDs like anime or manga. Yeah, we're geeks and proud, but we're sci fi and fantasy geeks, and a lot of my friends have nooo idea that I collect BJDs.

I was in the Bead Shop in Chester with a friend yesterday getting a few beads to make a necklace for Zee and my friend was saying "What's a 'zee'?" and I felt awful, because I said "Oh, a friend of mine collects these Japanese dolls, these are for her." I felt like I was denying myself, but that friend is more of a mainstream friend and was slightly queasy when I explained you can change the eyes and wigs and things. She's used to me liking strange things, but I think BJDs are out of her frame of reference

 

I said "Hey, im gonna buy some dolls" My friends know me as the random gay guy who buys random oddball things from time to time, so this didn't phase any of them.

In fact, I think they were thrilled that I had found something a little more "normal" to collect.

 

Ozziegoth, good point. Myabe if I think of it that way...assuming I can get over bbeing self-conscious about it first! ^_^.

TrevviesBaby, I couldn't stop giggling when I read your comment. Just FYI! (Still am, in fact. I have no idea why, it just made me laugh)

 

Definitely keep quiet about your dolls in Japan. They'll think you're an otaku.

 

Really? I'm going on a study abroad 6 months in Tokyo in March and I don't think I could be gone that long without bringing at least 1 of my boys. I thought there it would be alot easier to walk around with him without getting odd looks or people thinking I'm some weird otaku in Japan than over here.

 

If I am going to tell anyone then I basically just say 'Yeah, I like Asian dolls' But I don't throw it around to everyone and anybody, there are a lot of people who don't know this is my hobby, its not that I've been hiding anything, I just simply don't decide to tell everyone.

 

I'm pretty comfortable telling people about my dolls. I get a clueless look most of the time..but it stopped bothering me a while ago. However I'm still kinda heasitant to bring my resinlings out in public. But that's just because the area I live in is pretty stuck up and looks down on 'weird' people. But one day I wont care. I say just come out and say it. Explain it to them, let em ask questions. Good Luck ^.^

 

I think perhaps you are worrying too much about what others may think of you.

 

Sharing intimate parts of yourself is serious stuff--you don't need to wear a huge poster in downtown anywhere announcing your involvement with BJDs. Sometimes there are some things 'everyone' doesn't need to know, but that can be shared with others as friendship and intimacy (in a non-sexual sense) begins. Wherever you go, as you develop relationships with others, you will be able to share parts of yourself, and find friends who share interests, or at least respect yours. But again, be wary of putting up a neon sign--go slowly...Relationships and intimacy are not instant...good luck to you in grad school! (By all means, take your boy..that way you begin in a new place with a good friend already!)

 

Being a straight male, I would get some looks... But I hardly bring Lain (luts bory girl) anywhere, as she sits on my bedside table beside me most of the time. I kinda of lied to my mom and roommate (sort of an older brother) that my ex-girlfriend gave her to me or we sort of share her, but a lot of friends (mostly female ones) know how much my little Lain was (480 with hair, eyes, and shipping). A friend I wouldn't expect to care, a dude, is actually plan on getting one, so I talked to him about it a bit.

But I don't feel like I'm lying to myself or denying anything but not really telling my mom and all. It just seems like it would be more trouble than it would be worth for them to not understand. (Hah, my roommate won't even look at her...)

I am actually a college student, but I go from home, most of my classes are online, and HOPE pays for it all, and in a way I could even say HOPE/Pell helped pay for my doll...