Don't be embarrassed!

I have always liked dolls so that where I live I have dolls, fabrics to sew for dolls, and other related stuff all around my house.
some people look at my hobby sort of like this girlie obsession but it wasn't untill my first ABJD that I got my first wierd look. But it didn't bother me I just thought if they were educated about the bjds they would have one ,if not several.

 

Only people that are close to me knows about my doll hobbies other than that I do not broadcast it bec. I have heard remarks like

-you are married and have kids and you collect dolls still?
-they cost what ???
-what a waste of money
-they only collect dust

 

I used to be super conscious of what other people thought of me, but something very wrong happened in my third year of high school (I still don't know what. Maybe I hit my head or something...) but I changed from a quiet shy girl to a crazed attention-seeker who yells instead of talks.

Since I do like attention, the first thing I'll do whenever I get my boy is go to my old high school and visit my teachers with Hikaru in my arms. HEEEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEH! I wonder what the little kiddies will say about me then. But I'm not going just for the attention. I'm sure my art teacher would love to meet my little boy, and I don't think he's ever seen a bjd before. Also I want some snapshots of him by the lockers, in the classrooms and the basketball gym as well.

 

I think the hardest part for me was the initial confession of the doll hobby. To anyone, whether it be family, friend, bf etc. I have not told my parents that I am planning to purchase a doll [which i'm paying for 100% on my own] because I know the "It's a waste of money" part is going to slap me right in the face. But my friends comments are "what are you going to use it for?" "why are you going to spend that much money??? they are just dolls" However people spend money on useless things like expensive haircuts, Car accessories, tattoos, etc...thats why you shouldn't be embarrassed. Everyone has their own indulgence.

I'm not embarrassed about my hobby. People in my area generally think I'm weird because I'm a huge fanatic of Asian music...especially effeminate men like Gackt, and the members of Visual Kei bands. So having a effeminate boy dolls would be just like me...though I do think it's a tad 'out of character' for me. I think the general stereotypes of doll collectors is very girlie girls...and then...old ladies...XD excuse my stereotypes..but thats what i think of...so I'm not embarrassed but at the same time i feel i need to defend myself from those stereotypes and let people know that ABJD is not typical doll collecting. That's just my opinion though.

 

i haven't told many people yet as ive only just got into it, but told a friend today at work and showed her a pic of a BJD and she was like 'wooooow!' i think once people see they see they're not like any other kind of dolls, they're kind of impressed so its not really embarrasing to tell people.

actually i think i lost my sense of shame a long time ago, being a cosplayer LOL!

i agree though you should never be ashamed of liking something, its better to have a passion for things in life rather than coast through just to be 'cool'. in the uk its kind of the norm to be unexcited by things, which i hate. apathy is what will cause our extinction. *nods*

 

Thanks everybody...I think your positive posts have inspired me to take my dollies out for some outdoor photo shoots soon. I was content to doing big dioramas on my dining room table (my husband would argue with calling it that, seeing as it always has way more hobby junk on it than it has ever had food!)...but a trip to Central Park might be in order!

-Kathleen

 

I suppose part of my embarrassment stems from the fact of just how much I love the doll hobby. It's such a dear and close hobby that if I admitted it and someone mocked it, it would be incredibly wounding, so mostly, I keep to myself and squirrel my dolls away when guests arrive.

 

I'm not embarrassed by the hobby at all. ^_^

I'll admit, at first I thought that my bestfriend was nuts when she got her first doll a few years back...but over time it sucked me in too. Plus, I'd rather spend lots of money on dolls that help give my creativity a focus than sit around and smoke crack all day or something else equally pointless...and if people don't understand that, then they can get over it. ^^;

Though, I've never been one to really think much about what other people think of me. And the fact that I have multi-colored hair and wear cat ears is a true testiment to my motto: "Do what makes you happy and don't worry."

 

The fact that people at work geek on (otaku-ize) about Gundam models (yeah I join in sometimes) helped a lot with the embarrassment.

The fact that the Asian artist-types at work are totally appreciative of well-crafted dolls (or action figures) also helped a lot.

The fact that the BJDs I'm trying to get are about ... 30X more expensive than Gundam models ... doesn't help. >.<

 

Im proud to have love for dolls and toys

 

I've been around the Discussion forum a couple of times now, and I've seen a bunch of posts that -- one way or another -- get into how their families, friends and significant others react to their BJDs. Some families strongly disapprove, some friends just aren't interested, and some significant others think it's strange, but appreciate the fact that you love it.
And a lot of those people whose families disapprove seem to take the disapproval well. (Just a random observation that I find interesting X3)
Only occaisionally will I read a comment saying, 'I wish so much that my best friend/brother/sister/mom/dad/boyfriend/girlfriend loved BJDs too!' out of the sense that the poster wants their loved one to have the same joy that comes from BJDs, and to share it with them.
And personally, I've always read posts that detail how someone's significant other appreciates the hobby, or is into it themselves, despite the $$$$ @_@, and I get this warm, fuzzy yet wistful feeling myself -- I wish that would be the case for me! x3
And there've been times where I've read about how some people's friends all got together and each put in a little money to make a LOT for a doll fund. X3 Those always make me smile! And they also give me that same wistful feeling.
I myself find it difficult to express to my loved ones the joy that these dolls give to me. They see me as practical and intellectual, and somehow, I feel as if these notions would be trodden upon were I to reveal my love for things as 'impractical' as VERY expensive dolls -- or things as generally 'frivolous' as dolls of any sort. Please note that I only use the words 'impractical' and 'frivolous' to describe how they serve no functional purposes as transporting oneself from point A to point B, and are not generally accepted as one of the more common means of entertainment (i.e., how MP3 players are expensive, but no one seems to think that it's strange to be so attached to music that one would purchase such a thing). I also think that the BJD hobby IS quite intellectual, as one must devise ways to pay for the doll (XD) and also plan looks, outfits, themes, etc....... and patterns are quite tricky. @_@ But it may not be seen that way by most. ^^
My Baha was a Christmas gift from my parents, who don't really understand the hobby but are generally indifferent to all aspects of it except for the price tag (which is understandable). And my Volks SD Mimi was a gift to myself XD -- A souveneir from my first EVER trip to CA! (I visited the Volks LA store, and KNEW I had to have her, even if it meant blowing most of my savings money). But rarely do I speak of them, even though I'd love to just casually bring it up, as if it were the weather or some insignificant but exciting part of the day. I'm just too embaressed!

So tell your stories; Are your loved ones into BJDs? If so, why? If not, why not? Do you find it difficult to tell your loved ones about the hobby?

Points of particular interest; How did you bring up BJDs to your friends/significant others? Do they know how much the dolls/clothes/etc. COST? @_@ (I noticed that this was one of the MAJOR things that kept me from mentioning them) How'd you tell them *that*? X3 Did their answers surprise you? Were you disappointed/embaressed by their reactions? Did they ever get over it and buy one themselves? XD

Anecdote - As you may or may not be able to tell, the real origin of this post is me hoping that when I tell my boyfriend what I'm saving up for (A Luts SDF Annette) he's not going to flip, even though he's SUPER price-conscious. >< He keeps asking me what I want for my birthday or Christmas, and I'm afraid to answer "just a little bit of money for a doll fu--....eh.....er.....something that I really really want" XD Because then he'll ask, "What is it?" And I'll answer "A doll" in a tiny voice. And then the next question'll be, "Well, how much IS it?" And then there will be a rapid change in subject XD

 

Well, I have not told most of my friends. I told one that I was considering buying a very expensive doll but did not say how expensive nor did I show my friend a picture. I thought my parents did not like it and would be against it but after I ordered the head my mother asked me what else I needed to complete him and ordered the body for me. I will show everyone else my doll when he is complete. I think they will like him but will be horrified when they hear the price; I think they will be shocked because I rarely spend so much money on such items.
No one else I know is into BJDs.

 

Neither my family nor my friends are into dolls, but they are very patient about letting me blather on about them. My coworkers, bless them, are so used to hearing me carry on about Heavenlea that they've pretty much started asking about her whenever they see me!

I'm too old to be ashamed or secretive about my hobbies. Either people will like it or they won't...I can't help that. As long as I'm happy, who cares?

 

I'm lucky--my roommate is the one who got me into BJDs! I'm incredibly fortunate to have somebody to squee over dolls with. Most of my friends know about my hobby. Most are neutral, a handful are supportive, and a few are openly disapproving.

My family, on the other hand, is NEVER finding out about this hobby, just like they're never finding out that I'm going to Yaoi-Con at the end of October. Frankly, I could probably tell my mother about them...as long as I didn't mention price. Unfortunately, I know my younger sister knows what BJDs are and she'd take it upon herself to inform my mother how much they cost. I don't know how she'd react to me spending that much bling on a hobby and I don't want to find out. Fortunately, I'm 100 miles from my nearest relative and 2500 miles away from my parents. Distance does wonders for secret-keeping.

 

My friends are generally creeped out by them, but a couple of rounds of Irian (with her 20mm pupilless Schwarzes in) "following" them around while I intone "Come play with me, Danny" usually cures them of it because they crack up. They can tell I love them but am not too reverent with the girls which reassures them...and everyone agrees that Baron must be handled with utmost respect and carefulness due to his physical makeup. They find Baron and Oliver "less threatening" because they are animals, not humans. I've also gotten multiple friends into the doll habit...one of my friends helps me make clothes and is planning to ask her parents for a Baha for Christmas, wee! Most of my friends, even if they don't appreciate the dolls themselves, appreciate the craftsmanship and the creative outlet they give me, which is what counts.

My parents do not know how much the dolls actually cost. I did receive a sewing machine for my birthday when I kept whining about how I wanted to make clothes for my dolls, though :3 So they support me, I guess, even though if they knew how much I've spent they'd be whacking me upside the head from here til I'm 40 -.-;;;;;

 

How did you bring up BJDs to your friends/significant others?
I don't have a significant other, but I did unknowingly infect one of my friends; she too was bitten by the BJD bug! As far as my other pals, most of my co-workers and acquaintances know that I collect dolls, and I just leave it at that unless they are interested. I don't really ever just "bring it up" with people who don't know me well or don't like dolls.

Do they know how much the dolls/clothes/etc. COST?
Obviously, my fellow BJD-lovin' friend does, as well as my family (who are used to my doll collecting). I don't mention it to others though, again, unless they ask - I just don't see the point. I think some might do it as a way of validating BJDs to their friends/family/whomever as more than "just your typical doll," but honestly, mentioning cost probably does not do anything to help your case, lol.

How'd you tell them *that*? X3
With my family, it was hard for them not to notice, heh. I have a joint bank account with my dad as well as one of my my own. I had to use the joint account to buy my first large-sized BJD (long story) and I remember my dad rushing into my room one day, completely freaking out because he thought someone had hacked the account and spent $1000 in Korea. The bank statement broke the news to him before I could! XD

Were you disappointed/embaressed by their reactions?
I am usually pleasantly surprised when someone asks me to elaborate upon my interests; I may be in the minority here, but I do not find myself with a terrible, burning desire to share BJDs with everyone I know. I have always been a doll collector, and learned a long time ago not everyone is interested in dolls and it's best just to play it by ear most of the time. Most people give the "ohh, hmm" type of response (disinterest), but occasionally someone I never suspected will want to hear more about it. So that's always nice!

 

How did you bring up BJDs to your friends/significant others?
Well, no s.o but I do have friends(I swear I do, just because you can't see them...). The way I brought em up was by just talking about them in general and then saying "yeah...they're cool, I wanna get one"

Do they know how much the dolls/clothes/etc. COST? @_@ (I noticed that this was one of the MAJOR things that kept me from mentioning them)
Yeah, my friends do. One tried to convince me to buy the cheapest doll I could but I pretty much regurgitated every "don't buy a cheap doll if you're not gonna love it" conversation I'd ever read on here and she shut up. They think I'm crazy still but hopefully when he comes they'll like him(I know my one friend will once I dress him up like Haku lol)

How'd you tell them *that*? X3
They asked how much they were(probably out of curiosity cause they might have wanted one themselves) and I told them. They never asked again ha ha

Did their answers surprise you? Were you disappointed/embaressed by their reactions? Did they ever get over it and buy one themselves?
Honestly, no. I wasn't surprised at all with their reactions because one of them is a total cheapskate and the other spends 60$ ordering CDs from Japan so he couldn't really talk. I was kind of disappointed that my one friend tried to talk me out of buying the doll I really wanted because she's always complaining how her dad is too cheap but then she goes around and does the same thing ^^; I wasn't asking her to talk me out of buying the doll I just wanted to talk about it! I doubt any of them'll be buying one ha ha

 

I'm sorry if a thread like this already exists....but it's really starting to bother me and I just have to ask. Has anyone else ever felt really embarrassed when they told someone they wanted a doll?
Today I let slip to one of my friends that I was getting one and I was sooooo scared of what she'd think, I know it sucks to care what other people think....but I just can't help it....my confidence is rock bottom
Another thing is the whole 'anatomically correct' thing....I really want Sha from D.O.D....but I know he's....erm....got everything and it worries me what people will think . I don't wanna have to go through the whole 'OMG it has a willy you're such a perv' thing with people.......
I've seen that loads of people take their dolls to school (it seems to be mostly in the U.S. so if anyone in the U.K has taken their doll to school information on how it went would be good).
I'm sorry if this seems totally dumb but it's almost putting me off buying a doll

Sophie.

 

well when i took my dolls to school everyone was like O.O! but you know people just cant get over the fact that the boys have male parts...but that human nature i suppose. its okay to be embarassed but my experiences have always been good

 

you should never be embarrassed for liking something - there is absolutely NO shame in liking dolls!
i'm an adult, and male, so liking dolls seemed to be something very odd for me, but people get over it quickly.

the anatomically correct part - well, have your dolls wear pants unless they have x-ray specs, or you go off drawing attention to it, most people wont figure it out.

dont let the embarrassment factor put you off buying a doll, however if it is a big deal to you (as it seems to be), perhaps BJD isn't a hobby for you?

best of luck with the outcome.