Don't be embarrassed!

I think it's a silly thing that's preventing you from getting a doll. Maybe if that's the case, then maybe you don't really want a doll?

If you like them, who cares? It's nice to have people who support your hobby, but if you love it very much, who really cares? If it makes you happy, go for it. They'll give you a major confidence boost when you learn to defend the hobby you find awesome.

 

No. Especially because non-bjd/doll people ('dollymuggles'?) think that ALL of them are acquired as sex toys. And they're NOT. But try telling THEM that. I told a friend I thought would take it 'correctly' - as me getting a dream doll I could finally afford, to dress & adorn in the style to which I wished him/her to become accustomed (& use up my store of fabrics, btw) and she just said, "a DOLL? You paid how much - for a sex doll?"

So much for THAT. Oh, well.

 

Thank you for your help, I feel a lot better now. I'm certain I'm gonna love him when I get him and I guess I'll learn to ignore what the uninitiated say about him.

Sophie.

 

I am 51 going on 12 again! When you get to be 51 you have had all you can take of people's attitudes and say "who cares". If you want to collect dolls than do it. If they don't like you because of that - they are not your friends.
If it bothers you that much than this is not for you, do what you want and what make you happy.

 

Anarane- I totally know what you're saying....the public are so scary...

Elvenmoon- I'm already embarrassed and I don't even have a doll yet

Loads of people seem VERY confident...I'm going to try hard to get some self-esteem.......I'm not exactly the kind of person who likes people to even glance in my direction....I get sure that they're taking the mick (and a lot of the time they are....)...maybe I'm just too paranoid......

Sophie.

 

that is a great word! dollymuggles!

 

Well, you don't have to tell people about the dollies if you think they'll be all weird about it. I actually didn't tell any of my friends about my boy before he got here; they all know about him now, though, because he comes to school (junior college) with me. I didn't really have any confidence issues with that because... people already think I'm strange, so they weren't surprised.

 

For the first couple weeks of having my doll, I was kind of embarassed... well, more shy actually. A teacher of mine wanted to see my doll, and I was very nervous, because of what my class would think, but I got over the shyness and was able to bring her to show my teacher... and now she attends regularily! I can take her with me almost anywhere.
The only place that I'm still shy to bring her around is in my school, except for that one classroom (it's a small class, so I've grown to be comfortable with the few students in it). I don't really care too much about what people think about me or my hobbies... but it's hard in high school where everybody judges you for the little things. I'm not afraid of the agegroup, just the "highschool community" because it's so close knit, and people will say stuff about other people what are SO minor, but gossip is so dull, that anything goes by as entertaining.
Then again... it's my senior year, so I find that I care a bit less about what my peers think. I'll be gone soon!

 

Personally, when I first decided that I wanted a BJD, I was embarrassed to tell my friends that I was saving up for a BJD/Dollfie or in thier eyes a "Toy" though I think that they are not toys....
That is degrading...
But I was very unwilling to telling them first because this is completely out of my character to be attracted to BJDs. Though now I have a easier time telling them, and showing them, it still feels odd because all my friends seem to be gamers, like me and computer people, like me, so we are all geeks and nerds...
Now that I know that they won't care about such things, I fully tell them about it. And now, I can't wait to get my first BJD~

 

The only good thing about the "high school community" is that in a few years its over. Really by senior year everyone is too busy with themselves that most cliques just kinda fall apart.

I wonder if I would have taken my dolls with me to school if i was into it back then! Hell i didn't get into this until after college! I TOTALLY would've taken my dolls with me to class in college; well perhaps not the various labs i was in... no resin should be exposed to dissection of a parasite.

But its VERY true whats been said on here time and time again. If you maintain at least an air of confidence most people will either keep their snide remarks to themselves or more likely than not ask you, politely, about your doll. I had a woman at a subway in the mall debate with me resin vs. porcelain! Needless to say i wasn't expecting that but rather enjoyed it.

 

Yes, I can't wait till this last semester is over... then I'll be in university! Art school will be much easier to ease into, I think!

 

I don't personally feel embarrased when I tell other people about by boys, the only time I feel embarrased at all in regards to them, is when I show my boy to a friend and they'll just insult him. But in that way I'm just embarrased with the way my friend's acting towards him...

May sound weird I know, But like some people have mentioned... I know people who buy like $200 pair of pants or $300 pair of shoes, jewellery, electronics, or anything really! They choose to spend their money on what they want, I choose it to spend on my BJD's...

And really, when they tell me that the money is wasted, in all truth, those jeans will last maybe 2 years, the shoes less then that, and the electronics will be outdated in half a year. My dolls will last a lifetime... so really who is wasting money?

 

right-O! hee hee I am going to take my doll out to a nice dinner with a friend one night in formal wear (once I receive it and have the face-up all predified - trust me, these plans have been made with that friend and we will really do this) . "Table for 3" Then they ask what the last name is of the person joining... "They are right here." point to doll. Then complain if we get a table for two and so on... Should I put pictures up of this whenever I do it? lol

This is a very good excercise for someone trying to become more secure with their hobby. After all, your BJD is you beautiful creation! Your baby! Show it off every now and then. Take it grocery shopping, or to dinner, or to a movie, and have fun! There is NO shame in such a beautiful thing.

 

I used to be embarrassed carrying Verdandi around but I'm not so much anymore. ^_^ People are usually either understanding or interested! And if they aren't then hahaha do they really matter?

 

I used to be more embarrased about admitting that I, an adult woman, collect dolls and telling people how much they cost. Now if someone asks how much I spent I'll just say a lot and if they persist in actually knowing I'll tell them how much. Usually they are very careful with my dolls once I've told them "Oh, I spent about $500 on her, and the outfit was around $100" which I guess is an upside XD

I'm also into lolita fashion, which is another thing that people don't understand a grown woman buying for the amount of money some of those clothes cost. So I get the "you spent HOW much" a lot.. hahaha. I get used to it.

Then again I've never had anyone say they're "sex dolls"... how do you even use something 1/4 to 1/3 the size of a person (and generally with no, uh... functional "bits", Unoa boys aside XD) as a "sex doll"?! O_o Sometimes I really hate how prudish a lot of people are... everyone has genitals, there's nothing inherently dirty about them. They're just a part of the body, and the dolls are more accurate anatomically than Barbies- and that includes things like having more proportional hands, less unrealistically hourglass-shaped figures, etc.

I guess some people can't accept that they're art dolls aimed at adults that aren't meant as a sex toy but just... as a doll. : P

 

Truthfully, I am kind of embarrassed. I've never had much self-confidence and have always been very shy. I'm just starting to open up more to people.(I'm a senior in high school. .___.) This hasn't stopped me from buying one, of course. ;] I'm going to tell my friends but I'm probably not going to cart her around with me. My parents know because they're paying half the price as a Christmas present for me. 3

I also wanted to say that this thread was really helpful. :] It made me feel better and I'm genuinely less embarrassed now. :3

 

I'm another of the really self-conscious/shy people in here. Despite not wanting to I can't help but care far too much about what people think of me! I don't have my doll yet, but I have mentioned him to my family and to my closest friends though it took a while to get to it! The biggest problem for me would be with people I am acquainted with, as in people I know but am not fully comfortable talking to. I trust my friends and family to put up with me and the opinions complete strangers would worry me less, but with people who are less likely to "understand" but whom I will still see regularily I would be MUCH more embarassed! For that reason I don't think I'd ever take my doll to school, but I wouldn't be COMPLETELY adverse to taking him elsewhere, especially if it was with someone who appreciates bjds or owns their own!

Also, just a thought. In some ways taking out your doll, even you feel embarassed or nervous about it, may turn out to be a real confidence booster! I've found in the past that sometimes if you have a fear, jumping in the deep end and confronting it can really help.

So perhaps for those of us who do feel embarassed, getting out and about with our dolls will help us to feel much less self-conscious about what other people might think and such?

 

I hope I never feel embarrassed about my love of dolls.

 

Honestly, I should be more... cautious, of taking my baby with me anywhere just because of the town I live in. It's very a very small town that is mostly made up of ranchers and farmers. People frown upon all most anything that's not out of the 18th century and everyone talks.

But I don't care and I take him everywhere, even against the request of my friends. It's my doll and I love him, as if he's my best friend almost. I do get talked about, but no one has the gall to come up to my face. I have a rep for being "weird" and not letting people give me crap for it. I happy and they can just be bothered all they want, I'm not doing anything to hurt them by carrying around Loric. If anything I'm doing them a favor for letting them even see him. *nod, nod*

 

Maybe it's because I was always the "new girl" in towns, but after a while of trying to "fit in", I've simply given up on caring what the heck people thought about my hobbies and just enjoy them.

There are a lot of things I do that, way back when (like 1999-2000 OMG) were pretty unaccepted by the wide majority at the time, like cosplay, anime, manga, comics, ect. The groups of people that liked this were very outgoing within the group, but basically avoided talking about it with strangers (mind you, AT THE TIME).

Now all that is fairly widely accepted, and even in some places seen as a must-love to be "cool". But I learned long ago (like 2001 OMG) that unless you have a steady set of friends, than being shy and embarassed doesn't work for you. You have to be confident -at the very least in what you like to do, even if not so much in yourself- and that will attract people to you, people you might not even expect to understand or enjoy what your talking about (believe me, this is how I met one of my best friends of the time).

Anyways, long post short, be confident! Be happy! Hell, be glad that you can afford these items and grateful and SHOW IT when you share them with others! If you act like it's shameful and embarassing, the the response will always be "how can you spend so much on a DOLL??" and not "Oh wow you're so lucky, I want one too!".

Ahh I'll shut up now. XD