DON'T Call Them "Toys."

Hmm..I won't say you can't, I would say it's probably just an incredibly immature waste of time to do so. XD Inherently, I agree 100%.

Sorry if people missed the memo, but the world doesn't revolve around you [general you]. Newsflash, PEOPLE CAN'T READ MINDS! Even if they could, 99% of the world isn't going to give a flying **** if you're going to throw a baby fit because you didn't like what they said.

 

If it's out of ignorance, I certainly don't mind. Everyone is ignorant before they learn/discover something, after all. Besides, for a lot of people, toys are serious business. I'm not ashamed of my cheap toys or my middle-range action figures, and I don't mind if someone who doesn't understand BJDs assumes my guy is just a large-scale version of that kind of thing. Hopefully though, they'd treat Vince and I with a modicum of respect after I explain, instead of calling me crazy...

But when it's in a nasty tone, it doesn't matter what words someone uses, I take a certain amount of offense to the tone.

=^__^=
Anneko

 

I don't mind if a person was ignorant and asked me questions I'm actually tired of answering in a CIVIL manner, I have met plenty of such people and I am very willing to explain even if it bores them eventually. But I have to admit it does make me pretty steamed up when someone demeans my dolls as 'toys' in a pretentious tone and asks me why I'd bother wasting so much money on something "so pointless", and when I say that I mean that they really meant to insult. It's okay if they clearly do not understand the artistic possibilities of something so customizable, as well as the effort and money taken to mass-produce such properly detailed and anatomically correct models, but to treat someone who does as obsessed and spendthrift is just downright rude when they could just as easily be civil.

I've even had a twerp laugh and congratulate me on getting the latest-in-trend Mattel Ken (my 70cm Angell-Studio Antonine). I smiled and laughed it off, but inwardly I was thinking Oh yes, and he's double-jointed and strung just tightly enough to kick you where it hurts, wanna see how?

...sorry if I come off as in need of anger management. XD I'm usually a really tolerant person.

 

I agree with this^^. Don't know if I said it, but it's too true. You can't assume (cause, you know what happens... ) But more to the point, assuming that we'll all instantly know how much your doll costs is - dare I say it - dumb. Sure, we can probably see that the shiney new camera, or Wii console costs a pretty penny, but dolls? Dolls are pretty much grey matter, I think. And most people think your doll comes from Mattel. It's how society turned out. Looking at my dolls, I wouldn't think they cost more than maybe $50. If you think everyone will instantly know your doll costs $700, that to me is just setting yourself up to get mad.

 

OK so I think at this point it's general consensus that people are stupid and rude and say all kinds of pointless and possibly hurtful idiocy without giving a moments thought to it. And that's a drag.
But the assumption part is truly interesting, people do love to make snap judgments about really, everything. I remember being a bit taken aback at the OPs (paraphrasing here) quip that thier doll was not akin to "a pile of Legos" See, my husband loves Legos, and I have spent up to 500 bucks for a special set.
So, see? There you go assuming. Personally I wouldn't put together that ten zillion little fiddly pieced pile of plastic if you put a gun to my head, but he thinks its more fun that a barrel of Soom monthlies.

 

I've never had anyone call my girls toys before but if they did I don't think it'd bother me unless they were mean about it. I prefer to refer to them as "my partners in crime" xD They're just that awesome.

 

I agree with what's been said as far as people not knowing what these dolls cost. I personally am not going to raise my blood pressure just because of someone's ignorance.

 

I don't mind my dolls being referred to as toys, because...well, they kinda are. XD

If someone chooses to look down on me because I enjoy dolls as an adult, I can choose to not associate with them. I have plenty of friends who just don't understand why I enjoy my dolls, but none of them look down on me for it. After all, most of us still enjoy cartoons as adults, so... XD

 

Awesome. This just made my day.

I try not to let what other people say get to me one way or another. People either will like your dolls or won't, they'll *get* why you dig them, or won't...and they'll say what they feel like saying about them regardless of whether it is intentionally rude or not. I can't pretend I understand hobbies I don't participate in, and perhaps I've come off as rude in my ignorance of another hobby, but it isn't my intention. We can't assume everyone can measure the value we apply to our objects. In the end, my days are just too short to be so upset over wordage, I find. But that's just me.

 

The real question people should be asking is: why on earth does it bother you?

1. I've lost count of how many times A has said something snide about B's dolls, and then B says something snide about A's car/purse/clothing/whatever. It works both ways! Not everybody is going to think dolls are TEH BESTEST THING EVAH. Just like you don't think cars/purses/clothing/whatever are TEH BESTEST THING EVAH. That's the beauty of it: everybody has their own thing they treasure.

2. If they've said it in a rude tone why do you even bother responding? They're more than likely baiting you. So responding is just rising to the bait. Which means you end up in a snarky argument about how dolls are awesome with a person who probably doesn't give a rat's behind.

 

(somewhat new to the fandom)
My girl is one of the BJDs not allowed on the site T^T so I won't mention her sculpt, but when it comes to collectability, they're collectable toys. Like someone who has a Barbie from the 50's or so, it's a doll, yes, but it's a toy.

There was an item on a recent antiques roadshow (actually a Pittsburgh version of it) that was a window display, and THAT was considered a toy. So to professional appraisers, a BJD would be a toy as well

 

While that's true, it's easier said than done. And a lot of people are a lot more sensitive than others. I was reading another thread where people were talking about their dolls as therapy, you know that one? I'm sure that they would be more sensitive to someone talking about their bjds that way than someone who doesn't take it as personally. When someone talks bad or makes fun of something you love, most people don't take the lets just think about this, this person is being mean and responding to it is just stupid on my side route to almost anything. Jeez if they did, most of the problems the world has today wouldn't exist.

So maybe the conclusion to this is, yes people suck, but you don't have to get bent out of shape for it.

But on the other hand, there are so many factors to this. If my boyfriend said something like that about my doll, I would be devastated. To me it's the same thing as his ps3 or something. an expensive thing that you play with and love and nurture. not so much with a ps3 but it is hella expensive and so are the games. bjds are essentially the same thing. what if your parents said something like that? what if they berated you everytime you got something for your doll and made it a point to make sure you knew the money could be going somewhere else. because it's just a toy and you could be eating with that money. How do you tackle a problem like that? I'm not so sure many people have the kind of relationship with their parents that they can tell them to f-off and leave them alone.

There are plenty of good reasons and situations in which something like that can, and probably should bother you.

 

I'll be honest, toys isn't something I've ever had a problem with. Although... I don't think I've ever had it said to me there's such a massive divide in my mind that if someone said 'I heard you collect toys' I'd instantly reply 'No, they're not toys, they're dolls'. With that sort of firm belief that other people completely don't understand because to most people there is no difference. However, if people ever drop the word 'barbie' into the conversation they should expect a long rant

 

Maybe it's because I am a grownup & don't have classmates (or their attendant hothouse/crucible of social disorders)... or because I don't hang out with my dolls in places where there are large groups of slackjawed young morons.... but I've never run into this problem myself.

If it did happen, though, I am not offended by people calling my toys "toys".

Besides, any attempts to snark on a middle-aged woman for being Uncool would be... so, so, so pathetic. Srsly, you just don't get points for snark that rolls off a duck's back. It'd be like telling the Elephant Man he's ugly. No, I think this kind of thing is more directed at the young & the sensitive.

But I second the motion for the donning of big-girl panties & the thickening of coping skills.

 

Hehehehe, I had exactly that in my post originally and I thought I might ought to remove it lest someonebecome angrypants... I'm glad someone said it. I guess if I had a child and someone called it a freaky little bald alien I might get mad (if I wasn't calling it that myself, that is) then I might get a little upset but I just can't find it in me to get upset over someone insulting my own toys.

Maybe this hobby can teach us patience as we wait, and thick skin as we deflect comments we find distasteful. It's a good thing. (/Martha Stewart voice)

 

Just skimmed through the thread, prolly missed a lot.

But. Hm.
My dolls are my toys. I play with them, they make me happy. They are not necessities in my life so they'd be consider luxury items that doesn't do much except to be played with. ... I'd say they are toys.
I'd also say the same about my cameras, my pocket knives, and kitchen gadgets I get cuz they are pretty, and people with cars and expensive stereo systems. It isn't even about how much they cost, I mean, heck, some people's cameras cost more than their dolls. Grown up have expensive toys, period. :>

So ya, they are toys. If people have a problem with me having toys, I'd gladly point out to them they also have a lot of toys. To each their own.

 

It really isn't that hard (or people are making it look harder than it really is):

1. Somebody calls your doll names.
2. You realize the only opinion that matters is yours.
3. The comment doesn't bother you.

My PS3 is a big, expensive toy and I have gotten comments (from family members) about how my money could be better spent elsewhere. I countered with how versatile it is (just like BJDs). They countered with, again, the money would be better off elsewhere. There's no longer any point in arguing, so I shrugged and walked away. I dealt with it by dropping the argument as a baiting, no-win situation. It's really that simple.

If you really have family members who insist on berating you for your choice in hobbies then you ignore them. Better yet, you ignore them and walk away. They're looking for a fight. Don't give it to them.

 

It's all well and good to tell somebody "Well, you should just magically make something Not Bother You!"-- and *poof!* wave a magic wand, right? No, real life simply doesn't work like that. Do not attempt to make big-girl panties sound like an easy commodity to acquire.

This is not a matter of will, nor of weakness. People will be bothered and upset; it's working through the bother & upset that will thicken one's skin.

I myself am fortunate to inhabit a megalomaniac sort of mindset, which makes life fairly simple, because everybody else is wrong. However, normal humans do hurt when misjudged or misunderstood, and often feel the need to explain, justify, & correct the mistaken impressions & insults of lower life-forms. But eventually, callouses usually grow & coping-skills develop on top of them.

 

it wouldn´t bother me ... if a person see a doll they think doll=toy.. thats normal but then i tell them about the artists who make them and they often change their mind : D

 

*snerk*

Completely agree! I was hurt and felt the need to justify buying a PS3. Look at all the things it can do! Look at how happy it makes me! But since the family member wasn't willing to let go, it basically comes down to two choices. You let it bother you, or you don't let it bother you.

Snippy comments about my hobbies aren't worth the 3 brain cells it takes to form a response. So I let it go.

Concerned comments from friends/family mean more to me and probably warrant more discussion. So I don't let it go. I answer whatever questions they ask.