Family member finding doll clothes in the mail...

Right now I live with my parents due to some financial issues(I'm a student without a job- equals no income) and they are always a little freaked out when a package arrives. I also have My Little Ponies and for a long time they thought I bought heaps and heaps of new ponies. One day, my mom found the dolls and I actually think they think the dolls are worse than the ponies

Well, maybe it will get better with BJD's as my mom probably relates to them much better than my pullips which she thinks are creepy dolls with big heads and eyes
I'm hoping she will love the BJD's and finally she can perceive me as normal again!

 

My brother just went- ''Isn't that a little small for you?'' XD

And my mum really dislikes packages coming, but was more than willing to help with washing around 2 dozen garments of doll clothing, ^^;Despite that I'd rather not push my luck with many more packages coming...

 

Reading this, I'm frankly stunned that so many of the posters put up with this kind of treatment from people who supposedly love them! Good lord if any of my family had treated my possessions like this or OPENED MY MAIL I would have had a royal FIT!

If you earn your own money, pay your way and are over 18 I really cannot see what business of anyone elses it is how you spend your spare cash, let ALONE what's on your bank statements. Being a blood relative to you does not give them the right to do any of the things people have spoken of in this thread.

To the OP, if he throws a box with an expensive item in it at you, call the law. There's no way in hell I'd put up with that from anyone, relative or not.

 

God, my mum practically encourages me! "Can you get her tiny socks? What colours do the eyes come in? Did you buy those wigs in the end? Have you bought a sewing machine yet?" ... I'm actually a little freaked out by it, lol.

It wasn't the same when I was living at home though. That was quite a different story. "DON'T SPEND ANY MONEY OR YOU WILL DIE." etc. ...

 

My family think I'm nuts. I haven't even TOLD my mum.
My dad came home one day to me hanging the dollies laundry on the line outside and said "you do realise the neighbours now think you're INSANE, yes?"
My mum would chew me out if she knew. I'm 22, but she can still kick my ass verbally :/

 

well my mom thinks my mail = her mail and she opens all my mail :P no matter what it is.

 

Well you can inform your mom of the illegality of that straight away.
No-one has the right to open your mail apart from you.

 

i just starting collecting bjd's recently and was hesitant to tell my family,as i have made some not so popular choices in the past. i felt guilty particularly about the expense,but as it is my choice and my money i figured what the hey. as it turns out they are o.k. with it. my mom is very supportive of my new "hobby" and thinks that it is such a good way to express my creativity. i am so sorry to hear that many of you are not being supported by the ones you love.

the main "embarrassment" i have to deal with is that i live in a condo, and the packages are received by the concierge. they are very curious as to what are all these deliveries from China and beyond!!!!! (several a day as i am starting with nothing)

 

To the OP: I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I'm also sorry about your grandmother. I know how hard that can be.

I'm guessing this situation is incredibly hard on your grandfather. Not only is he slowly losing his wife, but he has to "depend" on his granddaughter for help. I imagine (I could be wrong) the sight of an expensive item threw him over the edge.

(I'm not excusing his behavior at all. Just trying to look at this situation from his POV.)

I'm not sure if talking about it is going to help. But if you try it, good luck. I'd probably be scared to death. Are your other family members OK with your dolls? Could you have one of them sit with you when you talk to your grandpa?

Otherwise I second what other posters have said: ship all your doll stuff to a friend's house. I'm guessing his behavior will continue, and you don't want to risk his temper.

 

My mom would open my bank statements until I got off my ass and changed the mailing address to my actual address. It ticked me off, but I never confronted her about it.

When I first showed her Freesia, she gave me the "I'm very disappointed in you" look. (I didn't tell her that I actually had 2 dolls at the time.) I was really excited to share my new girl with her, but I got shot down. It hurt really bad. But hell, she gave me the same schtick when I told her I was finally starting to plan my wedding after dating my boyfriend for 6 years and living with him for most of that time. She absolutely refused to help out and almost didn't get invited. I was lucky my now-husband's mom and family are so supportive and helped us out. My mom treats me like a kid even though I'm 25 years old!

My mother in law and her sister ("Mom #2") love to meet my dolls and fawn all over them. They're so adorable! Imagine two older women who look like Mrs. Santa Claus ooh-ing and aww-ing over dolls and posing them in cute positions. It makes me smile to think about them.

Chiiruchan -
I really hope you can somehow improve your situation soon. It really sucks when the people who you really want to love don't seem to share the sentiment. I agree with Ostrich in finding someone to be a mediator if you decide to confront your grandpa about this. Or just threaten to stick him in an old folk's home if he refuses to treat you with the respect you deserve!

But on the other hand, he might be feeling upset that what control he had as a younger man is leaving him with his age, and is lashing out at the people closest to him. He was the breadwinner and the man in charge years ago, and he refuses to give that up. You spending so much money that he doesn't have control of would make him upset. In that case, you may need to be a little more understanding and considerate of his point of view if you intend to confront him about this. Which, in my opinion, should really be done. Letting something like this fester with you getting continuously upset with him isn't healthy. Let him know that you are a grown adult want to be treated as such.

 

My dad didn't START opening my bank statements until my boy's things began to arrive...

 

It's like this.

Family members would always like to see you spend money on other things. Things they deem more important. It's not wrong of them, they just care about you. And . And quite seriously, if you're over 18 and still living in their home, then in my opinion it's their right to question a little. Even if you DO pay them rent and the like. Why? Because there are very few family members about to make one of their own pay full out what actual rent/bills/food cost is, and when you go "wasting" such a large amount of money they're gonna wonder why aren't you out on your own yet.

16 to 18, why aren't you saving for a car, saving to get out, saving for college, helping pay your cell phone bill, etc etc.

Under 16, you're probably spending their money, birthday money, money you scrounged for through small jobs, and they'd like to see that money stretched, so that they know you're building good money management skills.

Over 18 and out of the house, they just don't understand. And never will. best way to keep arguments about it down are just to not talk about it. If it gets brought up, say it's your money, and that as long as your making all your obligations, you'll spend it how you want.

In your situation, your gramps is just a bit of a cranky old man who doesn't get it. Hiding it is not going to help. Just don't bring it up, and don't be hurt when he DOES lash out at you. He's probably not that fond of having one of his grandkids have to take care of him (not that he doesn't love you, but it's gotta be hard getting to an age where you need someone to take care of you) and it's probably the only way he knows how to deal with the feeling of helplessness. Don't take it personally, don't rub the dolls in his face, but be firm about being respected, and that you like this hobby.

 

I dont have to worry about the mail thing. I got my first doll a few months after I had moved out. The money thing though.. I was worried for a while, and still feel as if I have to walk on egg shells even if it is my money, since my mother thinks I should save it and spend it on other things.. Trips, clothes.. stuff like that.. At first she thought I was nuts, and got mad that I spent so much on a doll. Then over the two years since Iv been in this hobby. She just doesnt care anymore. My dad didnt care either, since he spends about the same amount as an MSD on those model flying planes.

 

I am 22 years old and live at college an entire day's drive away from my parents, so I don't have to worry much about them intercepting packages. I collected dolls when I was growing up, so my interest in more expensive dolls doesn't shock my mother too much. I think she thinks I'm starting to get a little old to be spending quality time with dolls, but she has never said anything negative about it. I think she finds my Pullips a little on the creepy side, but I don't know what she would think about a proper BJD.

My sister, on the other hand, thinks I am completely insane. But then again, she thought that when we were still in high school and I got a doll and sewing book for Christmas at the age of 16 and she asked for and received a designer purse. Of everyone in my family, she gives me the hardest ribbing. I catch my brother, who is 17 now, posing my dolls from time to time. And my fiance just rolls his eyes. But we each have our own separate fun money accounts, so we don't have to clear our splurges with one another.

 

Good for you! Be patient with him. If he was in the Navy, then it would be extra upsetting that he's losing control! He wouldn't want to show or admit that he is becoming weak, so he'd make a big show and be a bully.

Best of luck.

 

Tampering with US mail is a federal offense, FYI! No matter how old you are or if you live with parents or not, you are entitled to a little privacy. If you work and earn your own money and are able to meet your financial obligations then you should be able to spend your extra money as you choose. My husband jokes a little about my dolls being so expensive, but he has expensive bicycles that he spends thousands of dollars on, so he can't talk!

 

Aaw I'm sorry that's terrible. My mom is constantly hovering over me when I get a package in the mail trying to see what's in it, or she grabs it first and tries to hold it up over my head or something, when I'm at least a foot taller than her lol. The thing that bothers me the MOST though is the damn creepy mailman. I'm thouroughly convinced that he's a pervert and I dread going to the door when he's got a package for me to sign for, it's only the anticipation of dorry stuff that gets me through it. He's always trying to get me to tell him what I got "from the Orient" WTF?! And I don't mean once in a while, I mean like EVERY TIME! Once he even asked me if it was drugs, which makes me wonder if he won't try to open my stuff at the post office. Ugh...

 

That's a really big marijuana plant.