Fear...(Directed towards the Guys)

Another of the female persuasion popping in but I just want to say thanks to you guys for sharing all of this. My little brother being around is exposed to bjd and loves to play with them and his parents treat it so horribly. He's only five and he finds it interesting how I change them and the way they move. When he stated wanting one his father (he's my stepdad, his dad) honestly right before his eyes called him some horrible things he couldn't understand. And I feared it would affect him badly but seeing that you guys even though you had negativity around it I'm sure as long as I'm there to encourage whatever hobbies he chooses to go into and make it clear that liking dolls doesn't mean he's wrong in someway that things will be fine.

And all you guys had to say wow, that's just pretty mean. If I see a guy with a doll I go oh cool then if his is better dressed than mine I try to take pictures with my boys and their resin baby xD

 

yea id just seriously talk to his dad about it, even if he turns out gay, treating him badly and preventing him from wut he dreams about is totally wrong

 

Grrrr....thats just full of wrongness

 

1-Did you grow up liking dolls or did you only recently start to like them when you learned of the BJDs?

Like many others, I had a frickload of action figures. I did want dolls (Barbies) though, because I played with them at a friends house and the dressing and what-not was much more exciting. My parents vetoed the hell out of that XD!

2-Were/are you apprehensive about allowing people other than other BJD admirers see your dolls?

It depends on the company I'm with. I don't think I could take my dolls out in public alone, but when I'm with my wife who also has two dolls it's fine, and when I'm in an art class or with a group of artistic people that understand the hobby a bit more then it's fine. I do avoid taking them around family members though. Especially the wife's family, since they accept it more but are also more insulting. My little brother is the only one who kind of accepts my dolls. He doesn't like them but he doesn't really feel it's weird that I have them.

3-In what ways do you try to deal with this?

It's important to pick the right people to share with. Also, I end up being involved in the hobby online way more than offline.

 

Another girl pop out >o< sorry ^w^

Honestly, me, I would love to know IRL or even just online a guy that own BJD, for the simple reason that it could be so much fun, I know that, often, guys get a nice fashion sense and they always pop up with great ideas ^w^

The problem that may happens with family is the big fear : my son want a doll then he is gay for sure and for a lot of parents ... well it's the worst thing on earth. But no, a guy that own a doll isn't for sure gay.

Sometimes the girl = pink, doll ; boy = blue, car is ....weird, the world like to keep us trapped inside box. Though, I admit I like pink and I have a doll T-T

Anyway I'm too weird and open minded myself to find this weird or bad or pervert ..... people think I am weird and I am a girl, then ... -_- keep in mind, folks do not like different people because they fear different people, it throw them a new image they are not used to face and don't know how to handle and what to do with..... screw them and continue yours hobby as long it makes you happy ^-^

 

1-Did you grow up liking dolls or did you only recently start to like them when you learned of the BJDs?

Yes and no. If you admit (as I do) that Mego 'action figures' and the Gabriel Lone Ranger figures that I loved as a kid (and still collect now) are in fact 'dolls' then yes I grew up liking dolls. However, I only showed an interest in my older sisters' Barbies at one adolescent stage but that was mostly about, well, undressing them to see what girls looked like naked!!

2-Were/are you apprehensive about allowing people other than other BJD admirers see your dolls?

Yes, absolutely. I have taken some of my dolls out to a couple of BJD meets and with other BJD lovers my being a 40plus year old Aussie male who loves dolls doesn't matter a bit - which is just wonderful - but with non-BJD lovers it can be very scary. Most of my non-doll friends, and even some family members do not know that half of the BJDs in our house are mine.

3-In what ways do you try to deal with this?

I am lucky in that my wife and I are both into BJDs which means it is easy to let most of the world believe my dolls are actually hers. I have only told the truth about my dolls to people that I was pretty sure would not judge me for it, or be made to feel uncomfortable by it - my parents-in-law for example. The rest will live in ignorance until I feel the need to share. It may be cowardly of me but for now it is just easier that way.

 

1-Did you grow up liking dolls or did you only recently start to like them when you learned of the BJDs?
I was definitely into action figures when I was young. I had he-man, transformers, Voltron(all 5 pieces!), Gi-Joe. I loved to play with them. My friend and his brother had a huge He-man collection. Used to play with those alot. When Cabbage patch kids came out and both of my sisters wanted one, I wanted one too. So we all ended up getting them. I really can't remember how long I played with it, or how public I was about it. Pretty sure I was a little too young to care. Probably around junior high or so my figure collecting and playing was for the most part was over. I always had an interest in some of the much more expensive and generally larger figurines for movie figures or things along those lines, but I never got any of them. Got into BJDs because I wanted a model to take photographs of. Kinda got sidetracked on the way and while I still want to and intend to do photos and possibly movies, I spend alot of time on the sewing and outfit creation.
2-Were/are you apprehensive about allowing people other than other BJD admirers see your dolls?
For sure. I hid the first doll from my family as long as I could, but I couldn't hide my new hobbies like sewing 1/3 scale clothes since I was borrowing my mothers sewing machine or building a 1/3 scale wooden chair. They got kinda suspicous but also tried to "assist" by finding a teddy bear that might be able to fit the clothes. Finally I just kinda gave up and told them. I didn't really make a big announcement about it, just kinda let them see her in some of the outfits I'd made. My best friend knows(thinks I'm weird but sees some value in learning new skills I get out of this hobby) and pretty much everyone at work knows(had to show off the Assassin's Creed outfit), but otherwise I pretty much keep it to BJD people. Though I'm not really shy around non-doll people when at meetups in public places, I don't really go to public places with the doll without doll people around. I'll probably need to be a bit more public to take some of the photos I have in mind.
3-In what ways do you try to deal with this?
As I said above, hiding the doll worked for a little bit, but it was too much trouble. I don't really care that much what people think about me but I don't go out of my way to be noticed either. Sometimes at the fabric store I get questions about what I'm making and I tell them shoes or a coat or whatever the intended garments are. When I mentioned "doll shoes" when buying some fake leather the the girl was like: "Aahhh, for your daughter." and I said "No, for myself." A little awkward, but I explained it was for a large action figure and she kinda understood.

 

1-Did you grow up liking dolls or did you only recently start to like them when you learned of the BJDs?
I've always been into dolls. I had a lot of barbies and polly pockets growing up, but i also had legos and cars of course. It wasn't really a weird thing when i was younger though. I had definitely taken a big break from being into dolls before I got into BJDs though.

2-Were/are you apprehensive about allowing people other than other BJD admirers see your dolls?
I sort of am... people tend to have a hard enough time seeing me as a guy without me walking around with dolls. (I'm a transguy...so my 'maleness' tends to get challeneged a lot :/ ) If it wasn't for that though I wouldn't think twice about letting people see them and know about them. When I got my first doll though, my mom kept trying to use him as proof that I 'wasn't really a guy' and that it was just a phase and whatever. I'm not sure if she's gotten over that or not since she still treats my dolls more like baby dolls.

3-In what ways do you try to deal with this? I guess in a perfect world I would probably try and take them out more often with me to break the mold. Right now though I just explain that they're artist pieces that I develope characters with, sew, and take pictures of when people ask about them.

 

1.) (And mind you, im 20 years old) I grew up around dolls. Particularly my mother's dolls. She has those really old "Chrissy" dolls, and has quite a collection. So I was fond of them, being able to hold and style the doll's hair, dressing them, matching shoes to outfits. But my mother was the type that... if she caught me doing that, she'd beat the ever-living bejesus out of me. My parents saw me as "Big bubba" that is, im large, and should be a man. My father? His greatest fear is that i'm actually gay(token-parents I guess).

2.) A little. I was afraid that i'd be ridiculed for my interests. I live just south of Atlanta, and a lot of people here are very closed-minded individuals. Parents included. Siblings.. included. I have no one to confide into or let on about my hobbies. It was only after I got out of high school that I developed a "I'm only myself, and no one should make me feel bad about my likes and dislikes"
Heck, there arent even any little old ladies that I can talk to about liking bjds in my neighborhood.

3.) I deal with everyone's "are you gay?" Attitude by ... pretty much telling them to "fugg themselves". As a grown adult, I'm allowed to have what's mine, you know? You just gotta sit your folks/friends/family down and tell them "Im this way. And these are my likes. If YOU dont like it, do something about it"
And if they go so far as to taking from you, what YOU paid for with your hard-earned monies? go to the Police =3

 

Wow, I cant believe I skipped over reading this one somehow.

Looks, i'll tell you right out. My parents were really really horrible people. And still are. Both my mother and father fear a great deal that i'm gay. Which is something i'm not out to prove, nor care to.
My father was an abusive drunk-- and my mother expected us to "Go out in the world, do something big, and take care of her for the rest of her life". Though, over the years it HAS eased up. They were really horrible, really rude people. Though they tried their best to raise me, to which i'll openly admit, all I ever remember is the horrible stuff.
Seriously, get the kid a doll. If the parents continue to say bad things like
"What are you doing?! You're going to end up a little dyke" or "What, are you gay stupid?" Call child-services. That's just fucking wrong.

Geez. Forgive my language, but as far as how a parent treats his or her kid, I went through WAY too much in life to read about another parents acting like a jackass.

 

Yet another girl posting here.

It's so unfortunate that some of you have had a hard time with this and I admire those who stand up to others despite this. Cheers to those who do.

A bunch of you have stated having things like actions figures. It's interesting how much more acceptable it is for a guy to own action figures than it is for them to own dolls when the two are very similar in ways. A lot of Barbies are certain characters as are action figures. When a girl gets older, if she still likes dolls, she advances to the more expensive variety, but what is there for a guy to graduated to? In Japan, where the modern BJD originates, it's more of a nerdy thing for a guy to have dolls as opposed to it being considered homosexual.

As for those who have had a hard time from family, my heart especially goes out to you. I have a brother much younger than me (I'm 21 and he's 6) and I'd babysit him quite frequently and I felt it somewhat my duty to encourage his gentle nature. My dad would get pissed because I'd do things like give him stuffed animals (either new ones or those that were once my own) because they were "girl toys." There were frequently fights about gender issues in the family which are not needed to tell at length here, but I certainly sympathize with those who are going against them. Stay strong guys.

 

1-Did you grow up liking dolls or did you only recently start to like them when you learned of the BJDs?

Yes.

I have Babies when I was 6,but I stop playing these dolls when I'm 10(I'm not sure).
When I started to have a BJD at 23,I don't think BJD is my toy and the "like" is difference between BJD and babies.

2-Were/are you apprehensive about allowing people other than other BJD admirers see your dolls?

No,I display my BJDs in my room on the desk.Everyone vist my home can see them.
I'll apprehensive only when kids try to touch them!!XDD

3-In what ways do you try to deal with this?

I won't show my BJDs to people particularly who are not in this hobby.I seldom take them outdoor because they're too heavy.XD
I'm not care about other people,well this is my hobby,I'll not bother anyone,so what's the problem?

(Wow,I didn't realize this thread is for guys!I'm a girl!XDD)

 

1-Did you grow up liking dolls or did you only recently start to like them when you learned of the BJDs?
My sisters and I had dolls and barbies, as well as action figures, stuffed animals, legos, all sorts of things. I've always made and collected toys. My mom and my aunt also collect dolls, and my uncles build doll houses, so I never grew up thinking it was weird for adults to have dolls.
2-Were/are you apprehensive about allowing people other than other BJD admirers see your dolls?
Sort of... it's not necessarily people outside the hobby I'm worried about, but less, uh, "enlightened" people in general. My guy friends who are nerds like me have no problem whatsoever understanding it: they (rightly or wrongly) think it's an otaku thing. Also, as said above my family is pretty liberal.
HOWEVER: I'm a university student who in most respects aspires to be normal, so Benedict has spent a significant amount of time hiding in the wardrobe when people randomly drop by my room. I don't think I'd be that upset if it *did* if it got out that I had dolls (since everyone already knows about the sock monkey ); although, I have already been harassed a few times at school for not being stereotypically masculine. Usually I can deal with it and don't take it too seriously.
I do worry that if I leave Benedict around in my room some grabby person might break him.
3-In what ways do you try to deal with this?
Benedict doesn't leave my room except to go to my parents' place. He also goes into hiding if there is mixed company over. When I have to explain Benedict to someone who doesn't know about ABJDs, they usually seem very impressed, so explanation helps people understand that ABJDs aren't like normal dolls.

 

I'm a guy. Iunno how the hell to tell my parents I like BJDs.


MY MOTHER IS A PSYCHIATRIST...THE EVIL KIND. If her own son (18 years old) tells her her likes dolls, she will immediately start criticizing and insulting him.

Iunno why I turned it into a 3rd Person thing...Anyway, trust me; my mother is quick to judge.

 

Whilst I didn't really play with dolls so much as a kid (unless you count transformers vs my little pony), I will always remember an incident in primary school which was of the same sort of tone. We were doing tissue paper crackers for xmas, and the available colours were blue, yellow, and pink. The teacher vetoed my desire to choose pink as "pink is for girls". I remember being pretty upset at the time, although that was probably due to being a pink panther fan.

I am apprehensive about who finds out about me having dolls, but I do have a few friends who find it interesting. I see it as a case of know which which friends are likely to understand, and not bothering to tell the others. It probably helps though that I'm not completely taking a "feminine" approach to dolls - whilst I do like them as having something cute around to dress cutely, I also like the lifelike factor that makes some people find them freaky.Given half a chance, I will probably start making robotic BJDs, just to freak people out some more

 

Firstly to Zion, that sucks, but if you come to a confrontation with the parent tell them at least hes not doing drugs or other such activities. The parents should let him be, he may end up becoming an inspired person to the point of fame. Let the kid grow, direct them when they are wrong not when you feel they are. Drugs at young age = wrong, dolls = think its wrong. simple, I know drugs are a bad example.
@JournalismWest - That sucks dude, I feel for you as I have a friend who was in similar situations growing up.
@AdelaisAer - If she finds out, you will probably be in for a great fight, which you could probably find examples below to use in your favor. If she starts prescribing meds, seek second opinion, your 18 and legally capable of making your own mind about things.


1-Did you grow up liking dolls or did you only recently start to like them when you learned of the BJDs?
Ironically I never owned a doll until now, but my bro and I used to strip my sisters barbies of their clothes so my action figures could look different. Grew up on the creative side always drawing and such, parents never really got on to me about it (granted they dont know much about me) Growing up I was forced into the "manly" hobbies but I eventually found a nack that I can stick with. I am very much a person that will fill his own time, and I will fill it with anything and everything I can be it cars, dolls, art, photography, writing etc. It only matters to me what I do and what makes me happy, Everyone who meets me knows very little about how I really am, all they know and need to know is I am responsible, straight and a hard worker. If they do become a good enough friend to know about my hobbies then all then they cant judge me because I will find a way to compare it to their life.

2-Were/are you apprehensive about allowing people other than other BJD admirers see your dolls?
When I first got Miyu, (only had her for a week or so now) I was very much so I hated the thought of anyone knowing I had her. Then the other day I experimented and instead of bolting to hide her I just left her out, no one said a word it was awesome. But I will still keep her from my parents cuz they dont approve of that sorta thing (close minded) kinda like when I told them I wasn't athiest but I didnt believe in god, I had like a six hour "let the demons out" convo, that sucked.
3-In what ways do you try to deal with this?
I probably wont say anything about her until people ask. If they do I will explain it the best I can compairing it to other hobbies, because it is easily compared.

Cars = collective expense, customization, thrill, build your own
Shoes = designers, collection, collective expense, thrill
Bjd = collective expense, designers, collection, customization, build your own, expressive, inspiration
Cosplay = collective expense, build your own, customization, thrill, expressive, inspiration
Body building = collective expense (gym, weights, etc), thrill, expressive
D&D/games = collective expense, customization, thrill, expressive, inspiration, build your own
and it goes on and on, sorry for the lengthy post, I can get worked up

 

One more girl here... ^^; sorry! I just had to say that I think it is just AWESOME that there are so many guys out there that enjoy this hobby. What I wouldn't give to just meet a guy that enjoyed dolls as much as I do! I had read so many stories about girls who's husbands actually like their dolls, and only wish I could find a man who I could share this obsessive hobby with! It is disgusting that people put gender into play with things like this. It makes me think about the old days, when girls only wear skirts, and boys wear pants. Now-a-days, girls can wear pants, and even be tom-boys if they please, and not be pestered by it! Why not the other way around! I think most men are critical over what other people think of them, especially when it comes to things like this, and it's just not right! I think any man that can take up this kind of hobby and be secure with it is awesome! I have known men who act one way, and then when their friends come around, act a entirely different way, (and it's kind-of funny seeing it happen, because sometimes the way they talk even changes!) When you know a person is doing this, it makes you wonder who that person REALLY is, and if they are being themselves with you. In any relationship, or friendship, you want to trust the other person, of coarse. IMO, you can't really trust anyone who has 'multiple personality disorder'. I don't mean anything by that though to the men who don't tell their family/friends about their hobby, because the world is cruel sometimes. But just let it be known that you guys are all awesome.

 

1-Did you grow up liking dolls or did you only recently start to like them when you learned of the BJDs?

Yes I did, but so did other boys I knew; it seemed natural to play with girl dolls because I liked girls, it also meant I got to play with girls as we had the same toys. I would also play with toys meant for boys too. I also went onto collecting action figures as I got older.

2-Were/are you apprehensive about allowing people other than other BJD admirers see your dolls?

Not at all, I often forget about my dolls when people come round and they wonder what they are. But given the fact Im known as quite an eccentric and creative guy people dont think its odd. Im an artist, I make clothes and my dolls are a part of it. Some people think theyre spooky but are respectful.

3-In what ways do you try to deal with this?
I do not have problems with other people and my dolls simply for two reasons; one, theyre an obviously creative model for me and people can understand that. Two, when other guys, and girls, see how well designed and anatomically beautiful my girl dolls are, they understand why a grown man would want to play with them, paint them, make clothes for them, photograph them...etc. Like owning a beautiful statue of a female. To me owning a doll does not mean you have to be female to do so. I also own male dolls, and people can understand this somehow alittle better, a man owning a male doll is sort of akin to him owning an action figure etc.
I think if you are confident and enthusiastic about your hobby no one has the power to make you feel strange about it.
Hope I have made some sense!

 

It's too bad that instead of being treated with understanding, you and your personal property were disrespected. The only thing I can say to that is, at least as time goes on, guys who understand that it doesn't make you weird or horrible if you like BJDs or other dolls will be the ones in the parenting and authority roles so these kinds of situations like yours will become less and less common.

That's terrible, there's no reason to treat a five year old like that at all. It boggles my mind that with all the potential bad things that could (and do) happen to kids his dad is worried about him being interested in BJDs.

I think you have an excellent point there. Nothing shuts down someone who wants to bully you faster than being confident and able to stick up for yourself. I've done it myself when one of my friends made a comment something to the effect of "man it'd be bad if so-and-so coworker found out you have dollies." I just looked at him and said "Why?" in a very deadpan voice. "I'm not embarrassed about owning them." Confidence and self-assuredness are two of the best ways to show narrow-minded people that you won't be pushed around.