Figured it out, thanks!

Jul 17, 2017 at 6:10 AM

    1. Update: Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond. You've all helped me a great deal in figuring out what to do. Thanks again!
       
      #1 sno4wy, Jul 17, 2017 at 6:10 AM
      Last edited: Jul 17, 2017 at 8:47 PM
    2. Personally, if it might effect you that much, I'd refund the buyer fully and explain that you had a change of heart and apologize wholeheartedly.
       
    3. I all honesty, if you backed out on me without consulting me beforehand if I might be okay with that, I'd consider it a problematic transaction. You entered a deal and your buyer has not gone against any agreements made as far as I can tell from your summary. As she is a limited editions I am fairly sure your buyer is also happy to have found her.

      You can get in contact with your buyer and explain that you regret the sale and if she'd mind geting refunded and the deal canelled but if she says no, you are - in my opinion - obligated to uphold your end of the deal (the sale of the doll).
       
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    4. According to the rules, if you back out of a sale for any reason, neutral feedback could be left for you. That seems to apply to your situation, but I am NOT a mod, so you may want to check with them to make sure. Problem transaction threads are for any transaction where the involved parties have not come to an agreement in PM, and either party feels it is prudent to have the discussion publicly. So in theory, your buyer could open a problem transaction thread if you refund them and they instead wanted to finish the transaction.

      That said, if I were your buyer and you came to me with a situation like this, I would probably not be happy about it, but I would prefer if the layaway were cancelled sooner rather than later. That would give me time to find someone else selling the doll in question.

      Limited dolls don't always go way up in price on the secondhand market, and some of them do pop up for sale occasionally. It really just depends on the doll, how many were produced, and how popular they were.

      If I were in your position, I would first talk to the mods to see what sort of feedback the buyer would be able to leave for me (neutral vs. negative). Then I would decide, 1) how badly I truly wanted this doll, and 2) whether the money I get for this doll would be enough to make or break me if I don't get another job soon. Depending what I decided, I would either continue the layaway, with the buyer none the wiser, or I would contact the buyer to let them know what happened, and ask them if they would be willing to take a full refund of all payments made, including PayPal fees.
       
    5. Also quick tip, if you refund make sure to refund the original payment as that should return the fees as well. (If you refund by sending a separate payment then fees will be taken and the refundee won't get the full payment).
       
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    6. I been in this situation before. In the end I was glad that I sold the doll and didnt back out. It turned out that it was a sentiment and attachment thing - like they say in order to move on in life you need to stop seeing it. Pack that doll away. You don't NEED that thing. Remember that we are all immortal beings - as Dido would sing, "my life is for rent...nothing belongs to me."
      Reasons that convinced me to give up
      1. It was a 2014 year old doll - therefore there is a chance that it will green sooner or later.
      2. The price for bjd will always depreciate.
      3 I needed all the money I can get and to survive unemployment... those credit card monthly interests were killing me.
      It does take time to get over that doll.. but as long as you already have one doll - you should be grateful for that. Surprisingly, although one of tge doll that I sell was limited, the company just release him again in a different faceup... so dont worry too much about the future. Most important thing is to get your finance into shape.
       
    7. I wouldn't do that. The buyer can still leave you negative feedback as a flakey seller that will affect future sales. I know if I read feedback on a seller who did that, I wouldn't trust that seller to not have another "change of heart" and back out of another sale, so I wouldn't chance it.

      Do the mature and responsible thing and finish the layaway you started with the buyer. I've had to sell dolls for financial reasons, and I've regretted a few of them (like one or two who were discontinued sculpts), but I never back out of the sale because my reputation as a good seller is more important to me.
       
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    8. I think that you should notify the buyer of your change of heart, ask for their understanding, and refund them if you can come to an agreement. It's true that you are flaking out, but if they sympathise with you, then you can accept the feedback, so that you can keep the doll.
      It's obvious that this doll means a lot to you, however, I would be careful not to make the same mistake again. I think it's understandable if you make a mistake once, and even if this is a messy situation, you still have the option to turn it around, and afterwards try to continue being the stellar seller you want to be! :)

      On the issue of selling your doll for financial stability, I feel as though you should weigh the benefits yourself, with sobriety and understanding of the very morbid consequences, and make your own decision depending on just how worried you are in your current situation. (ex. imminent homelessness, vague worry about finances with money to pay rent and bills for more time than it takes to sell a doll and many job opportunities, having dependents and one month left before in the red with not responses to job applications are slightly different scenarios.)

      Dolls are wonderful and like companions, but they aren't worth your suffering. I would recommend keeping yourself afloat if your situation becomes extreme, and hope that when things are better, you'll find your doll again, and absorb the inflated cost so that you can be safe and comfortable again, with your doll.
      Relatively, the raised price will be less worrisome when you're no longer in desperate need for money, but I can understand not being sure about finding the doll for sale again. You can post Want to Buy threads in the marketplace here, if you have marketplace access, which could help. No matter what, I hope things turn out okay. :3
       
    9. I had the same seller back out on two sales. It left me immensely irritated. Needless to say I will not buy from that person again. Once you accepted money you are in a 'legally' binding contract. You can ask the buyer nicely if you could cancel the sale (see the above post about refunding to make sure you return all fees as well) and state your emotional state of mind at the time you went into the layaway. But the current buyer may suspect you have a buyer for immediate cash and will be suspicious. The buyer has every right to file a problematic or neutral/negative feedback. The real problem here is that the doll has not left home and is a constant reminder of your decision at the time that you now regret. You could also tell the buyer something happened to the doll and it got damaged and you are going to refund all payments and fees immediately and apologize profusely. Not really honest though and what's the chance they will see this thread here? I hope you can work it out.
       
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    10. Honestly, you can do whatever you want.

      What may be a good idea is, like others have said, talk to the buyer. They may understand and be willing to cancel the layaway with no hard feelings. But, if they don't want to cancel the layaway, I think it's appropriate for you to let them finish it and purchase the doll. You were the one who choose to put it up for sale, no one forced you.

      If you decide to back out on the sale even if they're not okay with it, I know personally I'd leave flacky feedback. And I'd never buy from someone who did that a second time. It may hurt your reputation as a seller. Which may be something to keep in mind as your weigh your decision.
       
    11. I'm going to be a little harsh here, OP...

      You entered into a business transaction with your buyer. You need to honor that agreement. Period.
      While doing that may hurt your feelings, this ISN'T ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. It's about carrying through with your obligations. Flaking on your buyer for emotional reasons is irresponsible and if I were in the buyer's position? Darn straight I'd leave you negative feedback on that basis. You would have proved yourself a less than trustworthy seller.

      If you really want that particular sculpt, you can collect the payments, save that money and then go buy yourself another one when the transaction is complete. Even a Limited can eventually be replaced.
       
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    12. Thanks for taking the time to leave input, everyone. I really appreciate it. I realized that I didn't mention that of course I'd talk to the buyer, I can't even imagine backing out without saying anything, that's just totally unlike me. But I'm not even sure if my thoughts and feelings were ok, and I wanted to see that if they were not, I'd just bite the bullet and not even mention my regret to the buyer. It's not their problem if they don't have to deal with it, and I don't want to make someone else deal with my feelings if those feelings were not ok to exist in the first place.

      I apologize if I gave the impression that I'd do something so rude and inconsiderate as not talking to them before actually doing something. >_<
       
    13. From a seller's perspective, I'd be more worried about feedback than anything, so as much as it broke my heart, I'd still go through with it. It's not the buyer's fault I was unsure of selling. I've been in the hobby for so long, and have more than 200 feedbacks, no problem transactions, and I really want to keep it that way. I wouldn't want my reputation wrecked, because right now, selling is hard enough with a good rep! On top of that, if I had sold the doll because of a desperate situation, I'd have to remind myself that I need the money more than the doll.

      As a buyer, my reaction would greatly depend on how the seller backed out. If they just told me they changed their mind, too bad, and refunded me, I'd be pretty upset. I'd definitely leave flaky feedback at best, and likely negative/problem transaction because in the time it took me to save up for the doll and the plans I'd made for her and the clothes/wig/eyes/accessories I'd likely have already bought...I'd be out more than just the down payment. All of the accessories I buy for dolls are character specific, so it's not like I could just pop that wig and eyes onto another doll and be fine with it. I'd likely be out at least $50 more than the down payment, and possibly much more.

      If the seller contacted me, honestly telling me how they were feeling, asked for my thoughts or opinion on the matter or if I were willing to end the transaction and accept a refund, I might give it some consideration. If they had all positive feedback until that point, it would carry more weight with me because it's not a recurring thing. Ideally, I'd probably want the refund plus some sort of incentive to make up for it, either a little extra money in the refund or maybe some clothes or extras to help soften the blow of losing out on this doll. It would probably make me think twice about buying from that seller again, for fear of getting attached to a doll, then not being able to buy it, but if we were able to reach an agreement via PM, then I wouldn't drag it into Problem Transactions. I understand things happen, and I prefer to try to work with people before calling them out publicly.
       
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    14. I think you hit the nail on the head here, sno4wy, your feelings are not the seller's responsibility and even if you "did talk to them before backing out", you would unintentionally put psychological pressure on your buyer to agree to cancel the deal - because they would be somehow responsible for your feeling bad if they insisted on going through with the deal. In my opinion that is not justified at all, you know what I mean? However you would phrase it, the psychological pressure would be there and not many people would be unaffected by it. If you did that to me, my feedback would be accordingly.
      For all else, Brightfires said it better already.
      Doesn't mean I don't sympathise with you, though!
       
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    15. First of all, I'm sorry to hear that you lost your job. That kind of news can really pack an emotional punch, so please be gentle with yourself.

      I'm sure everyone here understands the emotions behind your inquiry. However, personal feelings and Marketplace reputation are two separate things. When you placed your doll for sale in the Marketplace, you were also stating your intention to enter into a business transaction with the buyer. When you accepted the buyer's layaway, the buyer is expecting you to continue with the sale in good faith.

      Whether the buyer is willing to cease the purchase or not, they would be justified in leaving either Neutral or Negative feedback. I took a look at your feedback thread; you've had it for a year, and you're starting to really build a good reputation for yourself as both a responsible buyer and seller. Some people, when reviewing feedback, may hesitate over one bad review. And due to human nature, most people tend to be more descriptive in a neutral or negative feedback than in a positive one. You could get a sparse two lines of positive feedback and easily two paragraphs or more of negative feedback. In an online world with such a large forum, the feedback is one of the major tools that all members have to evaluate before beginning a transaction. Even if the buyer did release the layaway, the feedback may have a longer impact on your hobby activities in this forum.

      There are a lot of good suggestions in this thread. Maybe take a day to think about it, or pack the doll up into a box and put it in the back of your closet while continuing your layaway. If you do discuss this with the buyer, make sure to state your full intentions clearly and to be respectful. This is not the time for miscommunication or misunderstandings.

      And finally, good luck on your job hunt! I wish you the best and hope you are able to find a great new job.
       
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