Friends flippantly joining hobby?

I believe I've converted a number of friends into the hobby, because I am so passionate about my dolls and can't stop talking and sharing them with everyone. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't envious of some of my friends at times because they are able to buy dolls that I can't afford. But that's the way this hobby goes.

 

Completely agree with the points made by Taco, Nihmo and others going down the same track. I'd actually feel ashamed and embarrassed if I behaved like a spoiled brat towards my friends in this hobby. I've turned one of my friends onto BJDs and we, together with my sister, buy each other BJDs and accessories every chance we get, we also squee over each other's dolls and totally encourage each other; jealousy and resentment don't ever get a chance to raise their ugly, intrusive heads. It's really bell-endious to be resentful of your friends. I can imagine/have witnessed some of the pathetic reactions that take place behind the backs of "friends" though- "ohhh the bee-atch has gone and bought Sard! MY Sard" ( and the unsaid bit...'who SOOM obviously made for me alone!') or "Whhhhaaaatttttt?!??! She's given her doll black eyeliner and purple lipstick!??!?! But...but that's what MY EVELYN-LISANDRA* HAS!"

* Name has been changed to protect the poor unfortunate doll from the shame of having numpty parentage.

 

I got my boyfriend into this hobby xD
He has no dolls himself but he loves my Soom MD Eliv. He is carrying her arround at dollmeets and dont want to give her back to me ^o^

I think, that he will see someday a doll, that he really likes and will buy it for his own

 

Have you ever turned a friend onto the hobby?
Not yet as I just bought my first BJD about a month ago but I hope to in the future

And resented them for it afterward?
I can't imagine I would resent them for it, it just seems like it would be so great to be able to share conversations etc with another person.

However, at least partly because of the way I was raised, I would probably be disappointed if that person bought the same doll(s) I have. I grew up in a family of six with two sisters and a brother and since we were all home schooled from five to eighteen we spent ALOT of time together. In an effort to make everything fair our mom bought us all the same stuff (of course not always the boy lol). Sometimes one of us would even save up for something "special" and mom would see how much fun we had with it and would buy the others the same thing.

Was it right? maybe not but as I said she was trying to be fair. However I know that this really effected how I see my things as personal, special and unique and I always have a hard time when other people have the same thing I have. I know that this is my own personal thing so I try hard not to let it affect my actions but it does mean that I'm disappointed when I see that a friend, relative or acquaintance has something exactly like what I have. I realize that there can be huge differences within a sculpt because of face-ups, clothing, style etc but I know that personally it would make me sad if a friend got the same doll I had. I wouldn't be angry and wouldn't probably even let them know that I was upset but I would be.

 

Yes I have brought two people to the "family" of doll lovers and only ever resented one. She is one of my dear friends and she got one well before i have, i have been doing my research for around 8-9 years-ish and still have yet to get one, (thats changing VERY soon!) she got one a month after I brought her attention to them and then gave him to a friend, she now has a new one and I feel as though sometimes she is trying to stop me from getting my own. The other girl however is actually helping me get my first ^^ I love her very much! It makes me sad to see people who either don't take care of the dolls or someone who gets too protective of their uniqueness. I still would have shared information with her and would have put up with all the drama again but I think its a bit too far to act like the person who introduced you to such an amazing hobby from getting their doll!

 

Have you ever turned a friend onto the hobby?
I have turned 2 people on to dolls for sure, and a few others that i work with love them as well

And resented them for it afterward?
not at all, i live in a small city, and theres not many people here who have doll (just us 3 and maybe a 4th) so the more the merrier.

For jealousy or envy, or any other reason?
Nope, i love theirs though and i;ll be able to see their dolls.. as they see my family of dolls.

Did you feel bad or guilty about feeling that way?
N/A

How did you get over it/ Are you over it?
Nothing to get over

 

I have, and I didn't mind at all! BJDs I find either draw you in or don't, and for her it drew her right in and I'm so happy for her! I finally have someone I actually talk to in real life that shares the hobby. On the topic of molds she wants one that I do at some point as well, but it's really how you personalize it that makes it yours. The personality and 'look' she gives hers will not be the same as mine, so it's not a big deal at all. Even if they were the same, we'd probably laugh and bond over it and probably make a story out of it. I mean, I can understand the jealousy of someone getting something you've wanted before you do, but once you get over the initial jealousy you just remember eventually you will, too. I don't know, maybe I'm just really easygoing.

 

Have you ever turned a friend onto the hobby?

Yep, 5 so far and for sure more on the way!

And resented them for it afterward?

No, they enjoy their dolls as much as I do. Only sorry they don't join in on the fun with forums.

Has a friend ever bought the same sculpt as you?

Yes, I have a friend who fell head over heals over my first littlefee Ante, every time she would come to my house I dreaded the begging, yes begging for her so needless to say I was over joyed when I found one in the mp for her.......happy ending and now it's a pleasure for her to come visit with no begging! It doesn't bother me at all for my friends to have the same sculpt, I would just say they are cousins, it makes the bond stronger!

Did it almost make it feel less special if someone close to you just decided to get it, the first doll they ever saw, because it was 'pretty?'

No. I have bought dolls just because they were 'pretty'! If I didn't think they were pretty I guess I wouldn't of bought any of them. Pretty holds different meaning, beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Did you feel bad or guilty about feeling that way?

No. Have nothing to feel bad or guilty about to be honest. One of my girlfriends took one of my dolls to chemo so she wouldn't be alone, she now has her own dolls and takes her everywhere for support. I at times will drag alone one or two of my dollie kids when I have to drive alone at night. We all have our special purpose for owning dolls.

​

 

Actually I have gotten very angry over a friend wanting to buy a doll I really wanted. I had been searching for forever, just trying to find a doll that suited my tastes perfectly. I wanted a chunky, SD sized girl, and I kept saying to myself that Bluefairy would be the best option, if it had SDs. So then I saw on the News thread that they were introducing limited SD dolls, and one of them was so perfect, but I didn't have the money. I knew I wouldn't be able to order one, but I could dream right?

The next day, I showed the pictures of the doll to my friend, who had been trying to get a doll for around a month. She sees these pictures, and immediately tells me that this is the face and the perfect body she has been looking for and that she wanted her really badly, and I knew she had the money for it. I guess it was a really childish feeling, but that was how I felt truthfully. She ended up not being able to get her (which, honestly, I was a little happy over...) but we're still friends, and she has recently ordered her first dolly

 

Have you ever turned a friend onto the hobby?

Yes, I have a few friends of mine who are looking to get their own doll because of me and a few who already have one or two!

And resented them for it afterward?

Only one, but I think I had a just cause, she never did any research and bought the first doll she saw and has had to constantly come to me for advice.

Has a friend ever bought the same sculpt as you?
Not the same sculpt but my particular friend I will be answering these questions about did buy a doll I wanted to get knowing I was planning on purchasing it.

Did it almost make it feel less special if someone close to you just decided to get it, the first doll they ever saw, because it was 'pretty?'

Yes, I felt a little angry because I had spent so much time doing research and learning about them to feel "worthy" to be a part of the hobby only to have my friend jump in right away without any previous knowledge of them. (she had to ask me after she got her doll what a faceup was)

Did you feel bad or guilty about feeling that way?

No, I never felt like that for any of my friends who knew what they where getting into so I feel it was okay to be angry at her for being oblivious to the uhm "culture"? of the dolls.

 

Have you ever turned a friend onto the hobby?
No. Everyone thinks I am a ridiculous geek.

And resented them for it afterward?
Nope.

Has a friend ever bought the same sculpt as you?
Nope.

Did it almost make it feel less special if someone close to you just decided to get it, the first doll they ever saw, because it was 'pretty?'
Everyone gets something because they think it's pretty. I get sculpts that I think look pretty, I am just as bad as they are.

Did you feel bad or guilty about feeling that way?
No. I have never felt that way.

 

I recently had a friend who is entering the hobby because she liked the look of my dolls. I was wary at first as we weren't very close and I was unsure of her nature. I'd spoken to her about what research she had done and at the time she hadn't. This worried me a little. I love the idea of having a friend into dolls and i will admitt at first i wondered if it was just a fad for her but after talking to her more and remembering how I was at the beginning I've eased into it a lot better though I am still wary, but she handles my dolls with care and love equal to mine for them and i know any wary thoughts i have will probably change when she has her own boy

 

Have you ever turned a friend onto the hobby?
Sorta. Got them interested in what I myself am doing with the hobby (like they will ask me for updates on if my package has arrived, got excited to see pictures of my boy when he came in, excited to see how the body-blushing is going, etc.) Most of them think they are cool, but don't really fully understand.

And resented them for it afterward?
Resented? I would LOVE for them to be totally into the hobby like me. One day!

Has a friend ever bought the same sculpt as you?
Nope. And I wouldn't resent them if they got the same sculpt as me, either. It would be kind of cool, maybe we could give them a little backstory together or something!

Did it almost make it feel less special if someone close to you just decided to get it, the first doll they ever saw, because it was 'pretty?'
I got my first doll because I thought he was 'pretty'. It would be good for them to do research on that doll and the hobby first. But if they just fell in love with that doll I would love to see them get it, and would gladly help! I think most people in this hobby get a doll because its 'pretty'.

Did you feel bad or guilty about feeling that way?
I don't think I would feel this way if my friends got into the hobby at all! I would love for them to be in the hobby just like I am~

 

Wow this thread is quite interesting. I have gotten friends into other doll collecting but not BJDs yet. This is a very expensive hobby and not everyone s going to just jump feet first into it like that. I am not sure there would be any resentment if someone got the same doll as me or got a grail doll that I really wanted. I would be happy to play with theirs and see if the grail doll was as awesome as it looked in the pictures from the website.

I think some people take this doll collecting thing way too seriously. For me, a hobby is supposed to be interesting, bring joy, and help you bond with like minded individuals. I recently learned of a thing call 'doll snobbery' and I laughed out loud to think that some folks would perceive their dolls as being better and of a higher class just because they are more expensive.

 

I have this thing where, if I introduce my friends to something I'm into and they start liking it, and talking about it and obsessing over it, I find that it bothers me. But if I meet a person who likes the same things as me it doesn't bother me at all. I find though, that with ball joint dolls it's a little different. I like that when I tell my friends about ball joint dolls they are interested in them. I wouldn't care at all if my friends bought the same sculpt of doll as me, although if they were buying the doll because its the only doll they've seen I would encourage them to research and see if they find one they like better. If they still ended up wanted the same doll as me I wouldn't care.
BUT, I do have friends who think the hobby is silly and expensive and a waste of time. If they all of a sudden got into the hobby, I think it would bother me.

 

I know the OP is sort of done with this thread, but I thought it was interesting. I wanted to share my thoughts because of an experience I had not too long ago.

Have you ever turned a friend onto the hobby?
Yes, or more like, we were turned onto it at the same time. And now we're kind of sucking my sister and my mother into it.

And resented them for it afterward?
Nope. Why? That means more people to talk about doll stuff with and potentially clothes to borrow .

Has a friend ever bought the same sculpt as you?
No, but this is what I was wanting to share about. A friend of mine and I were chatting online and she mentioned that she had a certain grail doll. I told her I loved that doll too and I really wanted one and had wanted one even before I knew her. I jokingly mentioned they could be twins (in actuality, we would style them totally differently so the twins thing was an obvious tongue-in-cheek remark). We had a laugh then she very politely said she had a "thing" about having the same doll as people she knows.

Now, I knew some collectors felt that way, and I told her I understood; but my view was that if we both liked him, why shouldn't we both have him? He is a basic, and a very common sculpt. Lots of people have him. It's also unlikely they will ever "meet" in person because we live on opposite sides of the country. I told her that if she was worried about the childish stuff some doll owners do when they both have a sculpt ("mine is more handsome" "Oh, yours has blue eyes too? Stop copying me!" etc) that she could rest assured it wouldn't come from me. On the contrary, I thought it would be cool to see how differently they came out. She said it was just a personal thing and I told her I understood and we left it at that like the grown ups we are.

Much later on she decided he was too big to fit in with the rest of her crew and she didn't really want him. Even though she said that, I couldn't help but wonder if me wanting him as well had made her change her mind about him. I feel bad if that's the case, but I still plan to get him. Nothing is really keeping her from having him if she honestly wants him. She knows that, though.

Did it almost make it feel less special if someone close to you just decided to get it, the first doll they ever saw, because it was 'pretty?'
Nope. I originally became interested in BJDs because I saw a hyper-realistically painted doll (I will never remember the sculpt) and I thought "Wow, that guy is too beautiful... WOW! That guy isn't a guy, he's a doll!" So, in other words, I liked BJDs because they were pretty. Honestly, I think most of us are attracted to sculpts because we find them visually appealing in some way. Even "ugly" dolls are visually appealing in an artistic sense. But, the bottom line is this: Why does it matter why someone wants something? If they want it and they can reasonably afford it, buy away!

Did you feel bad or guilty about feeling that way?
Nope. The only guilty feeling I had was that my friend may have changed her mind about a sculpt because I also wanted it.

 

Have you ever turned a friend onto the hobby?

Yes my girlfriend xD

And resented them for it afterward?

No! She loves dolls just as much as I do!

Has a friend ever bought the same sculpt as you?

Until now not. And I think even if a friend would buy the same sculpt, that it would not be a problem. Every doll is different, and as long as they don't have the same wig and same face up and same clothing, its no problem!

Did it almost make it feel less special if someone close to you just decided to get it, the first doll they ever saw, because it was 'pretty?'

Hm, no.

Did you feel bad or guilty about feeling that way?

No because I don't feel that way.

 

To take a slightly different standpoint on the subject;

The only thing I can see that would be SOMEWHAT irritating, is people who can't bother to make their own decisions and just go with what someone else is doing, not caring if that person already had a plan for a doll that they put a lot of heart into. I'm not talking in terms of wanting the same sculpt/mold of doll, but literally copying an individual's doll.

Copying is the sincerest form of flattery, but its also a sign of thoughtless laziness. > >;

Personally, I'd be a little irked if someone decided to make a doll that looked just like mine, mostly because my dolls represent a character that is close to me. If to them all they see is "oh thats pretty I want it too!" I would be more irked by the childish behavior of the individual than the actual copying.

It doesnt make sense to get petty or jealous over it though. I'd be annoyed, but I wouldnt get hung up over it. Chances are, if they jumped into the idea so quickly on a whim, they'll get bored of it just as quickly.

As for wanting the same sculpt, of course there's lots of different ways to make the same sculpt unique, like others have said. It would make me glad that someone else sees the appeal in the same things I do, really.

I haven't yet had the experience of converting someone to the hobby. But honestly, if they seemed like they were "flippantly" joining the hobby (like its just a passing infatuation and weren't taking the money and care aspect seriously) I'd just take comfort in the fact that later they will realize they wasted money and time on something they only wanted because it was "pretty" at the time.

 

Have you ever turned a friend onto the hobby?
Not that I'm aware of, none of my RL friends are doll people at all!! I bought one for my mother, but while she thought it was cute/pretty, I am not sure she's done anything with it. She likes making goofy cloth animals.

And resented them for it afterward?
I guess this doesn't apply, but if I had a friend get into it and join the hobby, I'd think it was awesome! If they had tastes I don't share, well how is that different from lots of other people already in the hobby? People like different things, and I think that's part of the fun, honestly. If my friend liked the same stuff I liked, then that would be even better, we'd have more to ooh and ahh together about.

I suppose if it were one of those weird "copying/flattery" phenomena that some friends can get into with each other, maybe I'd raise one eyebrow, but ultimately, it'd be my friend's business either way, and I'd try to be supportive and encouraging (in a general sense).


Has a friend ever bought the same sculpt as you?
Sure I've had lots of online pals on DOA get the same doll because they liked how I fixed up mine or whatever, it always makes me happy to promote the work of the artists and companies I admire. Many of them make the dolls way prettier than mine or whatever, but I have my own tastes and they have theirs. To each his/her own.

Did it almost make it feel less special if someone close to you just decided to get it, the first doll they ever saw, because it was 'pretty?'
I suppose if I had the chance I'd tell any friend who was getting into the hobby to have a good look around at lots of different dolls, but not necessarily. That's how I did it (though there was way less to choose from in 2005), but if a friend of mine was ready to plop down triple digits in $ for a doll, then I figure they must have some kind of serious feeling for it.

 

Have you ever turned a friend onto the hobby?
yes, Recently 2 or 3 friends are seriously considering buying a doll

And resented them for it afterward?
in my case, i don't regret it.

Has a friend ever bought the same sculpt as you?
nope.

Did it almost make it feel less special if someone close to you just decided to get it, the first doll they ever saw, because it was 'pretty?'

No. our tastes are different enough XDI think it depends on the case... My friend has this little wannabe girl following her around, she started to do the same things my friend did... same courses, same artists, same major.... and now same doll... in that case I would certainly be angry, she is not even choosing the doll she likes but the one my friend has.