girlfriends and your dolls

I have just about zero girlfriend experience, so I'm probably more apprehensive than a guy who has had girlfriends, but I don't see my dolls going over well with any potential girlfriends. It would be wonderful if she liked my dolls. Even better if we shared the interest. But I don't see it being something that will attract her to me or make her happy.

 

I would just like to bring some hope into the hearts of the poor males in this thread who are saying liking dolls will keep them from having a girlfriend:
Your time is coming, and I'm serious. All kinds of different hobbies are starting to be more respected these days, and geek culture is kind of taking over. Sure, doll-collecting is an unusual hobby, especially for guys-- but it will become less so. And here's the thing: Do you really want to date a girl who gets really pretentious and judgmental about a hobby of yours? The girls who you think would frown upon it are the ones you probably wouldn't be happy with dating in the long run, anyway. Find yourself a nice girl geek who plays DnD or is obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer or into anime or something. Then you can both have an unusual hobby to talk about, and hopefully share with one another.
I'm gonna echo the whole "I would totally date a guy who was into dolls" thing. I've been trying to convince my brother that he'd enjoy having one for ages. Lots of guys are into character creation and artistic customization stuff, but they get so hung up on stereotypes associated with the word "doll". Seriously, call it a figurine or something, if it makes you feel better. But they're COOL and more guys should have them.
Anyway, yes. Go find a girl like me and date her, because she will think your dolls are cool.

 

I would date a guy who loves = D

 

To be honest, as a straight girl, I don't think a majority of the whole issue with guys liking dolls (whether the dolls be boys or girls though I imagine with girls it'd probably be more uncomfortable) has a whole lot to do with it being a too effiminate hobby. The guy is looking for a girlfriend, right? That should probably be a clue. No, what I could easily imagine as being an issue is just how glamorized alot of female dolls are. Many of them have very exaggerated proportions and if dressed a certain way that could give off the same kind of a vibe as a guy does who keeps slinky swimsuit pin-ups on the wall. Both would certainly make me equally uncomfortable.

Not to say guys might not have a problem with their girlfriends owning boy dolls, but 90% of male dolls are so pretty anyway, not to mention girls are 'supposed' to play with dolls, I don't really think it has the same effect. (Of course I could be wrong about that, but hey that's just me)

 

Okay, I'm seeing several posts here that essentially say, "Guys, it's cool if you like dolls, but I think you're a creepy person if you dress them this way. Sorry." It certainly doesn't inspire confidence for those guys that want to belong in a hobby that, by social standards, is already awkward.

I'm a guy, I have several dolls, and all are female. One of them dresses a bit on the wild side (think dance club wear), because it's part of her character, and I've never been berated for it. Not once, and I have MANY friends who are girls and in this hobby.

So guys, you do whatever you want with your dolls, because they're yours. If people judge you by your dolls, then don't waste your time and energy on them. Ultimately it's your personality that makes a difference, and in time, you'll find a girl that knows and appreciates this. Trust me.

 

QFE.

I have three guys in my life who collect ABJD. Two of them are straight, and one is too young to really have a preference. HOWEVER--I would be very distressed over anyone making sweeping judgments about how he chose to dress his dolls, or if he fussed over them. People are judged enough already!

As far as dressing male collectors dressing girl dolls up in "sexy" attire--why is that automatically a "pervert" thing? Many of these dolls have lovely bodies. There are plenty of straight female collectors who put their girls in lingerie or swimwear (myself included)--why should male collectors be held to a more narrow standard? Just because a male collector chooses to dress his doll in such a fashion does not automatically mean he has some sort of sexual fantasy about that doll, any more than a female collector dressing her boys in fishnet stockings and shorty-shorts has sexual feelings for that doll.

It seems like there is a double-standard going on--"I question the masculinity of a man who collects dolls, but if he shows any interest in dressing them in a "sexy" fashion, he's a sex-obsessed pervert." That's hardly a fair assessment, and it distresses me to see so many narrow-minded viewpoints in a hobby that applauds itself on its open-minded and accepting nature.

 

my boyfriend find them creepy, but still get concerned when they don't have proper clothing on! XD
He thinks it's ok I guess.
While my bf isn't really into my dolls. I have another male friend that finds them absolutely interesting. He is my BJD-sidekick, he follows me to all doll stores and so on. Infact now we are going to some dollshows too!
I think it's more like having respect for people and their hobbies, than anything else.

 

I don't really know if those last few posts were spurred one by what I wrote, but just in case let me clarify. I have no problem with how guys chose or chose not to dress their dolls. If they're online half the time when I look at dolls I don't even know or generally care if their owner is male for female.

I was simply pointing out that if I personally dated a guy who also collects BJDs and he dressed his BJDs very scantily, it would give me the impression that he thought girls like that were much sexier than me, more attractive or that was the type of girl he'd like to date. NOT that I'd think he was a pervert.

Yes, I know that's a wild assumption to make since of course girls create guys dolls as well that couldn't be further from the people they like to date as well, but sorry, not everyone is completely accepting and confident in themselves, especially when it comes to looks. And I could see how that could be of an even greater issue with girls who don't collect dolls since she probably wouldn't know about the whole 'creating characters and personalities' aspect of the hobby either.

 

I wish there were more males that collected dolls. When I first started to collect BJDs I was so excited to find out that one of my friends knew about them - even more so that it was one of my male friends.

Would I date a male that collected dolls? It wouldn't be the only reason that I would date somebody, but it would be a plus.

 

Sure, I'd go out with a doll-collecting man in a heartbeat. ^^ I would not gravitate towards the type of guys who collect Dollfie Dreams in schoolgirl/nurse/French-maid kink, anyway-- the Forces of the Universe have never matched me with those guys. But I would never use that as a basis for rejection, if I liked the guy himself. Because, as an owner of 23 foxy male dolls (of various exaggerated/eroticized shapes), I CERTAINLY cannot throw stones.

It's merely hard to find straight guys who aren't put off by that in the first place. But the ones who aren't put off by it, they're the ones that the Forces of the Universe always delivers to the doorstep, as though by magic. Any guy who's man enough to cope with Sexy Caveman photoshoots & a bagful of tiny bondage gear, fine by me. He can bring his entire Hentai French Maid XXL-Titty-Expansion Dollfie Dream collection over to play Dolly Tea Party with my boys anyday. *girlish titter*

 

I agree-- if a guy dresses a doll scantily or in fetish clothing or something, it's not any different from drawing that kind of thing or watching movies with those sorts of girls in it, you know? That's just what the character they created is like. I doesn't necessarily mean they want to date a girl like that, or even that they're attracted to it. God knows I've created tons of characters(outside of the doll world, too) that some people would find to be sexy, but that I would never be personally attracted to in a guy.
And especially if it's a really cute/pretty doll, a boy dressing up a doll with care and making sure their hair sits right just seems like an artist's perfectionistic spirit to me, and that's actually pretty darn cute. X3
I mean, doesn't it remind you, at least a little, of those guys who paint figurines? Like those model gundams, or the RPG figurines that go along with some tabletop games and stuff? If a guy's really particular about it, it just means he's artistic and wants it to look nice.

 

Not going to bore you with the details, but guys, be proud that you engage in untraditional masculine sex-role hobbies... androgyny (blending socially desirable attributes of both genders) is apparently predictive of greater success than trad. masculinity or trad. femininity. I just had an exam on that this morning.

 

Thank you Jenny N! I just spit my tea out all over my keyboard in a burst of laughter!

 

it seems most of the replies are by girls.......is it that rare for a guy having a bjd? i thought it is just like action figures or model..something like that...

 

I don't know if I'd say it's "rare", but it's certainly outside the societal "norm", whatever that is. When I was a kid, it was instilled that boys play with cars/army men while girls play with dolls. In that vein, I fail to see how action figures are any different than Barbies, when you get down to it, but... meh. It's all nonsense, really.

To me, owning BJD's is just like having action figures (except more customizable), and that's exactly how I explained it to my parents when I first got into the hobby. Granted, I'd already been living on my own for years, so there wasn't much they could say about it, but it was nice to have their understanding. They knew I always loved action figures and anime figurines, and since I'm an artist as well, they could easily draw the connection and understand.

Same for my wife (still on-topic, right?), who encouraged me to do what I enjoy. She doesn't want one of her own, but she's perfectly happy looking at mine and occasionally using them for photography practice.

 

Frankly, I think it's ridiculous dolls have been pinned as "feminine". Apparently showing compassion towards a doll (or anything resembling a child) is only for girls and that guys should not have tender emotions.
If I met a guy who liked dolls, regardless of how he dressed them, I would find it the most attractive thing ever. Not only does it show his soft side, but it proves that he really doesn't give a damn about what people think. So to all males, trust me, some girl out there will really appreciate you for who you are.

 

^^;; Ouch, quite a few of the responses on this thread actually stung a little. I am a guy University aged and not particularly macho. I'm 5'-2", 3 and 6 inches shorter than either of my sisters and an generally considered more effeminate looking than either of them. I design and tailor formal and evening wear as a hobby.

So this essentially means I'll never have a girlfriend because I like ABJD? So I've been told. Many girls I've met are weirded out by the fact that I admire ABJD and are also put off by the fact that I can cook better than them (one would think this was a plus). In my experience girls who are disturbed by a guy having ABJD is actually reacting to a similar problem in men who come across a "masculine" woman. That is the predominance of gender roll as society dictates, they feel like someone is challenging their masculinity/femininity or encroaching on their "territory".

 

my ex liked them... he was designing a doll for me... but then I broke up with him lol

my fiance doesnt really care either way... but Id like it if he enjoyed them more... i think hell come around once they live with him.

but any guy Ive met whose into bjds is gay... Id like to meet more straight guy doll lovers... (nothing against gay guys some of my best friends are gay!! ) just an observation

 

Ouch, that last post may have an unintended negative effect on the thread, seeing as straight boy doll owners who otherwise would have stepped forward to talk about their hobby may feel.. y'know just a bit awkward with that comment looming.

My boyfriend is obviously straight and is both very supportive of my hobby as well as personally interested on his own n__n His first doll is actually on the way right now, a matching brownie (puki sized!) boy to my brownie girl :3 He plans to get more dolls in future, in larger sizes than just pukis.

Oddly enough, when I started this hobby I was convinced I wanted only boys, but once I was ready to get my first doll I ended up choosing a girl When I first heard he was going to start collecting, I was sure he'd want a girl, yet when it was time to choose, he picked the boy! Ultimately this works out in the end since our dolls can, in theory, pair up with each other Oh the cuteness that will ensue..