Girls view on guys who own BJDs

Ok! So according to this thread....being a guy who owns dolls....i am awesome. I didnt need a thread to tell me this though! =) its pretty cool to see this many reactions to this topic though.

 

Yes, I'm the prejudice bi-sexual girl. That makes COMPLETE sense.

The name of the thread is 'girls view on guys who own BJDs' which means that it's looking for everyone's views, NOT JUST YOURS. Last time I checked I was a girl, and last time I checked that was my veiw. I don't need you or anyone else condemning me for my views when the thread is asking for them. Honestly, it offends ME that you jumped on me because my views and experience differed from yours.

I'm glad that you all have had interactions with straight men who like dolls but from my own experience I only know of/are friends with two men who like BJDs and both of them are gay. My own fiance wants nothing to do with them so I know nothing different than what I can base off of my own assumptions.

So before you try and preach tolerance you should work on your own.

 

I grew up in a traditionally Hispanic home. That means that girls were not allowed to play with boy toys and boys were not allowed to play with girl toys -- especially dolls. Boys had to be manly and dolls were girly and "maternal." That's how it was. While the girls in the neighborhood played house and "single mom's" [the boys weren't allowed to play so they couldn't be dad's] the boys played ball or wrestled.

I never really met a boy who played with dolls (other than action figures of heroes) until I discovered the BJD world. And, I have to be honest. I wasn't impressed with the guy I met who collected them. He always had them in lingerie, always photographed them naked or with sexual props. I just felt like not just the dolls were being disrespected, but women in general. I don't like any person, real or fake, to be objectified as a sex toy. So the fact that guys collected dolls made me feel weird because I figured most would do it for that reason. The more I got involved in BJD knowledge the more people like that I discovered. I found women who only collected male dolls to also take sexually explicit pictures of them, usually with other male dolls.

So for a long while I kept myself away from communities because the people kind of scared me. They told me, "These dolls are for our stories," so I guess that I just wasn't interested in that kind of story -- and it was all I'd run into. So for a long time I was like, "Those people scare me."

I took a break from my research and returned when I was shown a doll that looked like Sephiroth and then saw a Minimee of Uruha. I love Japanese rock and visual kei. My friend wanted me to understand why so many women in this hobby collected male dolls [I'm personally a female doll collector.]

So after a lot of research and reading... and interacting with BJD owners, I understood them -- even the sexually crazy ones! ^^;; As an artist and hobby writer, I definitely understand individuality and creativity and freedom of artistic expression. I just had to wrap my head around the concept that this hobby is a form of art. We buy expensive but exquisite pieces of art that we transform into whatever our imagination allows. That's beautiful.

Now I find that I am able to appreciate everyone's dolls, their stories, and their work because it's an extension of someone's imagination. And that's beautiful. While there are definitely things that are not my cup of tea, I can still appreciate the doll or pictures or whatever for their artistic value.

And that is something that isn't limited to whether the owner is male or female; we all have the right to create.

While I am still essentially a female doll lover... one day I may break down and order my very own Acchan Minimee [he's the vocalist of the Japanese rock band Buck-Tick] just because I find he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen and I'd love to immortalize that in a doll. And that's coming from the girl who swore she wouldn't get a male BJD.

 

You said nowhere in your post that you are bisexual. You only said that the first thing you think if you see a guy with a bjd is that he must be gay. That is all!
To me that sounds prejudice. That is my honest opinion based on what you wrote. I am not preaching.
I did not jump on you because you shared views and experience because you did not do that in your first post. You only said that you believe a guy with doll = gay.
If your belief that all men who owns dolls are gay and you base that on meeting only two men with dolls then go right ahead lady!
I did not say that you are not allowed to think that way or that you should not be allowed to share that belief or opinion. I just said I thought it was stupid. I still think it is. Sorry if that offends you.
My tolerance with sexism, racism and bigotry is very low but so is my tolerance for lack of logic.
Now please, if you wish to discuss this further take it to PMs because others have asked us to not debate in a general discussions thread!

 

I only know the one guy who owns dolls (he's lovely, so good start!) but I don't suppose I'd think any different with any other guys I'm likely to meet along the way. If that guy turns out to be a complete git, then I would just think that of him not jump to some assumption that all men who collect dolls are gits. Believe me, I've met guys who collect far weirder things than dolls.

 

I have a lot of respect for any guy in this hobby. It's difficult enough for women to get started, so many people don't understand and are quite disrespectful about it. But there is so much more stigma for a guy, and for him not to care and to embrace this hobby anyway simply because it's what he wants to do and he enjoys it is a pretty powerful thing these days I think. For that reason, I have nothing but respect.

 

I think it would be awesome and I would give any man I met who had an awesome doll all the respect.

 

This. ^

I see a little bit of hypocrisy in this thread regarding that. If a guy likes a doll with big breasts, and likes to dress them up in scandalous clothing, that is seen as weird or obscene, but it's totally alright if women doll owners talk about, or even make big erect penises for their hunky guy dolls? Or dress them up in highly sexual BDSM outfits? The former is treated with a giggle, yet the latter is viewed with condemnation.

 

Well now we'd be getting into why women get upset at the overly sexual representation of them in just about anything. And you want to know why? Because females have suffered this kind of treatment for centuries and have had a long, bitter fight to be viewed more than a pair of 'tatas' which is still ongoing (played just about any videogame recently?)

Now I'm not saying the latter is more acceptable, just that the first has very powerful social history and implications behind it that get alot of women's hackles up.

//Off topic-ness.

I am so jealous of those who have boyfriends who love dolls!

 

I would like to respond but I am afraid that would steer us way off topic again so I wont. =/

 

I would have the same reaction to a guy with a doll as I would to a woman with a doll. "Hey thats awesome, I wonder if we have anything else in common". A few of the reactions in this thread make me kind of sad... because its the opposite of "youre a girl but you do *insert manly thing here*?!" occasionally followed by "are you a lesbian?" and other such sexist nonsense. Nobody thinks thats ok, guys shouldnt have to put up with that kind of gender stigma either.

 

i've always gotten along better with guys, so i love meeting them ^_^

 

I think guys can play with dolls to! Us girls can't have all the fun!

 

It's weird....in the little Upstate SC group with a couple of NC people, we have one guy I dunno which way he leans, one is gay, and three are straight. The gay guy does have a girl, but at one point, he had a boy, but sold him, and his dolls were dating. He had a story but now he barely comes around, always busy. The other guy...well, he has mostly females, one male. The straight ones? well one has a male, 2 girls, the girls are in a relationship, the male the father of one girl, but he has plans for more. The other two own Dollfie Dreams, but I dunno stories, or if they just enjoy the form of the doll (or the character, as most as character dolls, like Saber) and dressing it. I don't think they do anything "weird" with them.

All the males I have met are pretty good guys and don't do shoots like a poster above mentioned. Their dolls seem to be pretty normal "people". As in normal clothes, and normal "lives" if they do stories.

 

i think it really awesome. My boyfriend is not into bjd but some time he give me really good tips on how to dress my boy.

 

I think it's great : ) I actually just recently introduced my husband to BJD's and he's really interested in them. He supports me 100% in my hobby, and is more than willing to be involved, which I love. He actually wants us to try and make our own doll o.O That should be interesting, haha :P It's nice to be able to talk to him about it, and he has ideas of his own, so it's nice to be able to bounce things back and forth : )

 

I think it's awesome..for me, doll (or bjd) is a hobby not only for girls but also for boys..especially most owners of dollfie dreams are boys. being a boy and owning dolls doesn't really mean your gay..I know a certain guy (a straight one), who wants to buy a doll..he actually wants to buy my girl (since i always put her on my booth table) because he said he's lonely in his apartment alone..>.<

 

At first I thought guys with BJDs were sort of odd, but then I remembered that even little boys play with dolls (or "action figures" as they call them).

I don't think its odd that men like to cook or sew or most of the other things that are stereotypically considered "female," so I don't see an interest in dolls as any different

 

I have no problems with men in the dollie loving ranks. I think its rad any time anyone loves dolls, so why would being a man make it any diffrent? It may be harder to relate to guys in the hobby, because they may have different resonings for likeing what they do.

I think it would be intersting to know what the diffrences are between why men love dolls and why women love dolls, though.

Though I do feel that because of stereotypes that western culture has for men in general, some may find it odd.
Sadly I think our stereotypes (that men are sex craved pigs, which they arent, mostly) may be what makes them feel uncomfertable in a prodominantlly female hobby.
Men may assume that women assume they will do inapropriate things with the dolls, and there fore act a bit stand offish untill they feel women see that the guys really aren't any worse then the girls.

 

I think anyone who has and values dolls is awesome... both girls and guys. Unfortunately I've never met any of these people in person yet... my family doesn't understand my love for dolls at all. I guess that's why I'm so full of love for everybody who does, lol... male or female.

Besides, the online friend I got an Ellowyne Wilde from as a gift, was a guy ^^. So how can I not like them?