Girls view on guys who own BJDs

I really have to agree with splynterhayde on their last point there, its one of the reasons I was so hesitant at first to go into the hobby, one of my friends had relatively normal dolls, and got my other friend into them. This second friend got this hypersexualized couple and the two of them treated it as normal, and i began to see more and more of those "couples" pop up in my area and I was quite frankly uncomfortable with my physical gender being treated like that. A while later i found that it wasn't as normal as i had thought it was and long story short my first doll's arriving tomorrow when my GF gets here! ^_^

 

I think it depends on where you are. There are certainly some people in my dolly group who get very invested in the 'coupling' of dolls, which in itself I have nothing against. The problem I have, of course, is that these dolls are (as we've said) hyper-sexualized and fetishized, to the point of being even a bit demeaning.

Back to connecting it to the topic, though, I only meant to say that women can hypersexualize dolls, too, and we (as men) can feel equally uncomfortable with their lollipop-sucking, dry-humping boy dolls as they do our scantily clad, play-boy pin-up girls. Anyone can be objectified, and anyone can be offended by it, regardless of gender.

I'd love to meet other guys in the hobby who aren't DD collectors, though. I know there are certainly them out there, but in my area, as I've said, I'm the only one who collects non-vinyl, and boy dolls to boot.

 

I would be lying if I said guys with dolls never appeared to me as odd when I first started this hobby, but I don't really have a problem with it otherwise!

It's funny because I never thought of guys with dolls similar to girls with video games, but now that you mention it, I completely agree! The only difference imo is that video games are starting to be geared to both genders (as in...there's a lot more of stereotypically "girly" games out there now) as opposed to dolls, which are still geared more to females. On a side note, I do find it nice to have guys around that understand and share the love of dolls!

&Splynterhayde, I agree with you 100%

 

This is exactly what I meant! Oh I can't wait for my BF Xiao to arrive, then I can officially join the exclusive club that is being an amazing guy BJD collector :P Girlfriend can't drive here with that box fast enough!

 

I am surprised that this thread is allowed. This has nothing to do with dolls and all to do with how women perceive men in this hobby. I find it a bit offensive to be honest.
Some comments are super sweet but others are absolutely appalling. It scares me the amount of ignorance, narrow mindedness, sexism and prejudice that is out there.

Some things that has been said here makes me feel like a freak and a pervert for loving dolls. What is the difference between action figures and dolls? There is none. It's small plastic representation of humanoids. That is all they are.

Liking to create characters, being interested in clothes etc are not feminine traits. Caring is not a feminine trait, it is human nature. We humans are one among very few animals whose newborns cannot survive without care. Therefore we are programmed to automatically want to care for things that look fragile, vulnerable and cute. Men and women alike.

I am hoping for a future when threads like these would never have been created in the first place.
I will probably piss some people off for saying the things I did, but I cannot keep quiet without letting myself down. There are too many people keeping quiet about these things. Somewhere I have to put my foot down and say "enough"! Even if no one listens.

 

Honestly, I did not write on here with the intention of offending people. If you were offended I am very sorry. Trust me when I say that if collecting BJDs makes you happy, then by all means do it. I really don't mind it. I don't have a problem with it. I think it would be great. Be who you are and don't stop yourself from partaking in a hobby you enjoy. But this is my opinion, and I am entitled to it. I was simply answering the thread question:

I only speak for myself when I say that I rather my boyfriend not have dolls. Ok... Let me explain this one to clear this mess up. I go after tougher guys, not artistic ones. I guess if I had an artsy boyfriend I would understand the BJD collecting, as it is an artistic hobby. But if I walked into my older macho, tattoed, football playing boyfriend's room to find.... a girly, fashionably dressed doll, I would be thrown off guard. That's what I meant. So if that offends you, I'm sorry. But that's simply my viewpoint about one guy. As I said before. Just... my... boyfriend. All I was doing was answering a thread question. And don't worry anyway, I'm like the only person on DoA that feels this way. lol

 

I don't know if you were responding to me about the hypersexualized dolls, but that's not what I meant. That creeps me out no matter who is doing it. lol I don't do that to my Phillip. I'd feel so weird. Agh... But no. I just meant that a girly, fashionably dressed, well cared for doll in my bf's room would be uncomfortable. But that's just my viewpoint. No big deal.

 

When you explain it like that I totally understand. Some people really like macho guys, and you are absolutely entitled to do that.
Thank you for your honesty!

I apologize if I come on a bit (read a lot) strong. I am rather passionate about these issues, to a point where I tend to go overboard. I only hope that I do not hurt any ones feelings with my ramblings.

 

But honestly, Western culture does not promote boys playing with dolls. So if a girl doesn't like a guy that collects dolls they shouldn't be so heavily scrutinized for that. To me, a masculine straight man collecting dolls would be the same as a masculine man collecting teacups or something. Very unexpected, and something that is difficult for a typical American girl to understand or accept. But that is how we are molded to think, I suppose...

 

Okay, but the thread topic is asking how MEN are perceived, not females...so I never felt the need to clarify that for the record, it's off-putting to me whether it's a male/female carrying around a hypersexualized-child-faced doll, lol.

..................
And frankly, I think it's a bit oversensitive to be offended that this thread 'even exists.' Curiosity shouldn't offend people, and that's all the thread is. I suppose we could argue all day about whether mothering a doll is a feminine characteristic, but frankly it is and there is scientific evidence to support that. That doesn't mean feminine=female, but I don't know why people try to deny their feminine side by passing a doll off as an action figure.

 

I said that, already.

And alright, I see what you're both saying, but with the clarification, I think we're all trying to say the same thing in different ways. Anyone who hypersexualizes dolls can be off-putting. I only brought up that men aren't the only ones who do it because, while this topic is about how men are perceived in the hobby, it is still worth mentioning that women do it, too. Because as it was read, it made the idea seem like 'this is just a guy thing', you know?

I'm thankful for the clarification on both parts, however. I'm going to add that I'm not offended by the remark, either. I only said what I did for the sake of fairness -- and in a thread where the purpose is to speculate on why we're in the hobby in the first place, we should also be granted the right to defend ourselves, too. As Nihmo did.

 

i think it should be a totally normal thing. i don't think that dolls should be restricted to one particular sex or orientation, and i think it could be a hobby that we all could share, as artists or enthusiasts. while i've never met a boy personally who owns one, i know a few who would like to.
i certainly wouldn't shun a boy who likes them. i see them as all the other doll lovers out there, like myself.

 

I do not think I should say much more as we are clearly as different as two people can be. You see yourself as typical and I see you as... well frankly speaking, very old fashioned and ever so slightly narrow minded. But as I said, if you confess to only liking macho guys and that is what gets you off then by all means. Go for it. I should also be allowed to be perplexed by that as you are to guys collecting dolls.

And frankly, this is not a forum for curiosity but a forum specifically made to talk about bjds. Not about how women perceive men.
I am definitely not trying to deny any side of myself, masculine or feminine. I do not understand why you see any difference between an action figure or a doll. They are to me the same thing and they are neither a boy-thing or a girl-thing.
And I have not seen these so called scientific evidence that collecting dolls is a feminine characteristic. You do NOT mother a doll. A doll is not a baby. My dolls are shells for characters and most of them grown up men. I care for them like I would care for anyone I "love". And that takes me back to what I said earlier, caring is not a feminine trait but human nature.

 

I'm more... conventional. And yes, it is a typical mindset. I don't know why people try to deny that. But I would not shun a person that collects dolls. I think it would be cool to have a guy friend that likes BJDs. Like I said countless times, if you like BJDs then collect BJDs. I'm sure you will find a woman that enjoys your hobby as much as you do. There are tons of females that would be ecstatic about your BJD collecting. I really don't mind it. If I had a guy friend that collected BJDs then I would certainly accept him. It's really whatever... But if it was a guy I liked I would find it off putting. There's no crime in that. It would be the typical response from a girl. However, if you went to an art school, girls would probably find it normal.

Ok, I don't understand what you said: My liking for more masculine men isn't something that should be perplexing. Your comment was strange.

Honestly, you shouldn't be offended by these comments. Simply some females' opinions. Just be happy with yourself and what you like, and partake in hobbies that make you happy. Don't worry about what other people think. Don't worry about what I said. I was only answering a thread question with my honest opinion. Would it have been better if I lied?

 

I think it's great that guys is in this hobby too, it shows that this is a unisex thing and not only for females! I haven't met any hobbies that is for 'one sex only'.

 

I agree with Evshie, I have never thought that BJDs are just for females, that's ridiculous...

 

Honestly, I don't see anything improperly in boys collecting dolls. Especially BJDs, which are a little bit different that Barbie's, Fashion Dolls, MyScene etc. In this hobby I like it, that I can meet not only womans! Man have different sensitivity and because of that they're making different stylization, we can watch their point o view!
Moreover, there are woman-dolls and man-dolls (doll gender) - everyone can choose, woman picks man or woman, man picks woman or man... So many combinations! So many possibilities! Isn't it amazing?

 

Ironic....girls would want to get to know me based on my dolly hobby, but in my normal everyday life girls tend to shy away due to my aggressive exterior (view profile). Which is totally cool with me. Now i wonder if anyone wouuld be interested in my dolly tea party, held every sunday, over at Deshawn's momma's house, in the basement....

 

What is perplexing about an American girl liking masculine guys? I'm not quite sure what world you are in, but here on Earth, that's pretty typical. Just because it goes against your views doesn't mean it's wrong, but judging by your answer (and the flaming)you think it is...making you the narrow-minded one.

LOL, I don't see a difference between an action figure and a doll, but there is a widespread view that 'action figures are for boys, dolls for girls.' By your previous post, it came off to me as if you were trying to compare your dolls to an action figure to make it seem more normal/masculine.
I believe carng is a HUMAN trait, and I beleive I said MOTHERING was a feminine trait. Yes, people mother dolls. Not all, but don't say people don't do it...what do you call it when little girls are changing their baby doll's diaper, feeding it, pushing it in a carriage? It is (perhaps unconscious) training for motherhood. Once again, you must not have been reading my posts correctly, because I never eva eva said collecting dolls was a feminine thing. In fact I said it wasn't.

And please stop thinking people here are against you having dolls. I think it's great that guys are in the hobby.

 

...... Why did I apologize so much? I just realized that I am very much allowed to state my own opinion on here, without people becoming so up in arms. Why must we pretend that there are no gender lines? That certain hobbies are not considered masculine and others feminine? Why is it such a crime to look at things with that mindset? It's not a big deal. That does not make me narrow minded in the least. Liking masculine men is not a crime, and I should not be patronized for that, for it is utterly normal. Stating my opinion about men collecting dolls should not be seen as discriminatory. Honestly, what's going on? This is absurd. I don't like how people are treated on here, when all they did was reveal their feelings on a subject. Nothing should be found offensive, as everyone on this thread has been extremely courteous and far from insulting. Please, do as you wish. As I said a million times. It is an awesome hobby. If it makes you happy, then you should do it, whether you be a boy, a girl, or a goldfish. Honestly, I find it great. So you can collect BJDs and I will collect WWE wrestling memorabilia. We can push the gender lines and have that be totally fine. But I realize that WWE is geared toward boys, and BJDs are geared toward girls. And that's totally FINE. Big deal... Just do what makes you happy, and the world will be a better place. Fin....