Girls view on guys who own BJDs

I love it when people flesh out their stories artfully through dolls, whether they're male or female or otherwise.

However, I do feel a teensy bit creeped out when male collectors just have sexualised female dolls. I also feel creeped when female collectors have all sexualised male (usually for some reason gay) dolls, but being very aware of the ingrained sexism in society and the objectification of women just makes male collectors with all sexualised female dolls just that tad more frightening to me. I'm sure a gay man would be just as frightened of sexualised gay dolls and what that means about the person who owns them.

Thankfully, these people are a rarity.

 

I think dolls should be for everyone, so male BJD collectors don't bother me much. If anything, we should be friends! I will point out that male collectors who refer to their dolls as "daughters" while sexualizing them really freak me out. Actually, people who sexualize their dolls in general freak me out. I know it's a matter of preference, but I don't find big-breasted dolls with skimpy clothes or even the male alternative to that very tasteful, and having people ask me about my opinion on them actually makes me feel very uncomfortable :/

 

I think it's really great that guys are involved. There should be no limits on who can enjoy the hobby.

 

So for those hoards of ladies out there on this forum, what are your thoughts on us guys who own BJDs?

Cool! As long as you're as accepting of me as I am you...we're good!

Is it normal, strange, expected or shunned (I hope not). Any other thoughts besides my limited and vague questions?

I've been to, and have seen MUCH weirder things, and many that can't be unseen or forgotten. Honestly, you are cool, don't worry about it. Just have fun!
I know, it's a short and simple reply, but honestly I don't see an issue with doing things you love and enjoying it. A hobby shouldn't be discriminatory. imo.

 

I wonder if some people might be a bit creeped out over male doll collectors. I do know that episodes of "Law & Order: SVU" have portrayed male doll collectors as psychotic serial child rapists. I think that this sort of portrayal is quite unfortunate. I rarely see doll collectors, particularly male doll collectors portrayed as normal people who simply love their hobby.

 

*Is a guy*

This is one thing that annoys me. There's hardly any sort of positive portrayal of men who are doll collectors, and you have big name media perpetuating it without a second thought. I, and many other male doll collectors, am not like that. At. All.

It's gotten to the point where I have to defend my interest in dolls as just that and not an extension of a sexual attraction to little children, rape, serial killing (seriously? murder?), and any other number of unsavory subjects. It's so bad that some very open-minded people still can't accept it because it's been drilled into their brains as being a red flag.

I'm a male doll collector, and I love my girls. I say that with pride and confidence, and I'm not a bad person because I have them and love them.

 

to me i think its awesome how guys are into BJDs. adds alot more to the community as it is to any other i have a few guy friends who are in to it and they are great.

 

There also isn't really a positive portrayal of women who are doll collectors either in media, though. We're all socially in-ept crazies who are apparently trying to make up for the children we never had, or hoarders. For the vast majority who are ignorant of the artistry of the hobby, it's a 'weird' hobby for ANYONE to have, no matter their gender.
Sure, men get it worse on the surface but it all comes back to feminism, for a man to do something 'feminine' like doll-collecting is to debase himself, heaven forbid a man have feminine traits because being a woman is the worst thing you can be (to a sexist, or someone with internal misogyny).
However this isn't about the media or vast majority's view on male collectors, it's about how female collectors view their male counterparts.

 

I made a photostory about that, though unreleased because it was very dark basically I tell the dolls to call me father or papa, which they, feeling wholly disgusted, respond with "killing" me and its implied they cut me up and stuff me into a dufflebag, throwing me into the pond and fleeing to Mexico...



As a male I cringe whenever I see another man do that because, its creepy and gives other men who aren't creepy a bad wrap though it is sad to still see some negativity, I've been collecting for 3 years now (where does the time go) though I know it will probably never be the norm and I'll always be the weird guy with dolls in many circles. Ironically I've found on the world wide web, women with dolls are harsher then women without to me...not sure why no one I've ever dated even knew what a BJD was and I've not tried to date any BJD collectors because I always felt it was ungentlemanly like, to show up to a meet to "pick up girls" or whatever one calls it these days the dolls are in the background, generally not an attractive feature to many

 

As plenty have said, I don't have a problem with the gender of a collector, however it begins to get weird when they're weird. I don't think dolls should be particularly sexualized by either gender, and I don't think it's particularly normal to refer to them as your children as well... A doll is a doll, after all.
I'm kind of the same when it comes to pets too.. I think it's weird when people call themselves their cat or dog's mother/father and the animal is their child.

As it's been said, I see dolls as a media for creativity, not..... for people to get creepy about. haha

 

Though I'm a male with a female doll I don't go for overtly sexualising my doll. I do get her lots of nice clothes and though some may be sexy, it's all tasteful and not too overt. I'm an artist and my doll is a model for photography. As a BJD she references certain memes in art history which interest me. My friends don't get it and pretty much ignore her if I set her out. I think they just see me as "eclectic". I found people in the community pretty friendly at a convention I went to but have yet to meet people at meet-ups. I think I'm scared that being male means I won't be as accepted and this thread hasn't really helped that at all. I understand though, unfortunately we tend to generalize things by gender and this permeates society and creates certain views of what is appropriate. It certainly doesn't help that there are creepy out there with other agendas (both male and female).

 

I think its great that men enjoy the hobby it might explain why my partner seems to accept my new bjd. Many of the top woman designers of fashion are men so its seems right they they should enjoy bjd dolls and their fashions. It's nice to have a hobby that we can all enjoy.

 

I really respect guys who are in this hobby and dont sexualize their dolls at all. It depends on the person, though. I could care less about the gender of a doll owner-- like what dogmeat stated above, it's just how they act and what they see in the hobby. It only really gets weird for me when people fantasize about "getting with" their dolls in a sexual sense.

I feel these dolls are beautiful works of art and shouldn't be lumped together with the idea of sex toys and such. Soo... In a way I respect people like dollhausen for being able to appreciate these dolls the way they're meant to be.

 

That's awesome that you're sticking by your hobby and not letting other people convince you otherwise! I've always thought that while it is true that society is hard on women (with pressure on body image most of all), society can be just as hard on men, especially if they show interest in things considered "feminine". It's ridiculous that people make those crazy assumptions just because a guy enjoys to collect dolls. Men shouldn't have to be afraid to venture outside what society deems to be 'not masculine'. -_-

 

I think that guys in the hobby are great ^.^ I'm gonna be honest and say that I think that society portrays them totally wrong and I think thats because of the media and movies etc they make them out to be rapists, pedophiles, etc... I'm not saying that it can't happen cause I'm sure there are those wackos out there... but there are so many talented artists that have made many of the most beautiful bjd sculpts out there, that we buy, that are men who are just doing marvelous art, and they're not some weirdo looking to molest someone. I know a lot of guys almost deal with more crap from people than us girls do in this hobby so we should probably look out for each other not judge each other based on their sex or even sexual preference for that matter... Because I know a lot of guys that get accused of being a homosexual for being in the hobby as well... so really I think that we should respect each others artistic differences and accept the fact that we are all people in a hobby that many people think of as strange. We're all in this together regardless of race, gender, sexual preferences etc...

 

i kinda think its cute

 

Personally, I am 46 and it is a source of whimsy for me. I enjoy taking pics of my realpuki in different poses. Don't really give much credence to what others think....as long I enjoy the hobby and and happy doing it.

 

Stole the words from my mouth XD

I agree though, for some reason I just don't expect to see older guys enjoy anything other than alcohol and sports. Maybe I'm just cynical...

 

Haha, it's funny... the first male doll collector I think I ever met was an adorable little old man. He wasn't creepy at all, just... filled with the sort of hobby joy that I hope keeps me feeling young when I get to be that age. (and his dolls were lovely)

 

I have no problem with guys who collect dolls. Actually I think its kind of awesome that this hobby can be shared across the gender spectrum. Since I started collecting I've met many people from all walks of life who are in this hobby and enjoy it each at there own level from just casual owners to those who are deep into the hobby. And I think its wonderful that just about anyone can enjoy these dolls.