Girls view on guys who own BJDs

I don't care if boys play with dolls. Pretty sure Robert Tonner is a boy..He seems to be doing OK playing dolls. Creepy people come in both genders. So do cool people. If your a cool person to hang out with and it turned out that you had some cool Sooms at home. That would be pretty awesome. Specially if I could play with them.

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Well, after about a year, I think it's time to make another post in this thread.
I met a boy who was into the hobby, and we were friends for a while. He wanted to go to a museum together, and I said sure, because at that time my classes were not that hard and I could take a day off from studying. After that my classes got really intense, plus I was going to job fairs looking for work, and a friend and I were trying to work on a webcomic together. Throughout this time, he continued asking me if I wanted to go hang out outside doll meets, and I was forced to say no, no, I'm sorry, I'm just too swamped with things. Then he proceeded to ask me if we were still friends, and say that if we were friends, I wouldn't put studying, trying to find a job, going to doll meets, and working on a webcomic with my best friend, before spending time with him, so we weren't friends anymore. So now, I am a bit more wary in terms of my opinions of guys who are interested in dolls. He seemed quite friendly at first, but looking back, I now see very disturbing signs of possessive and controlling behavior, and even while I now ignore him, I'm sort of scared when I see him talking to other girls because I wonder if he's trying that with someone else. I wasn't even really aware of how angry a boy can be towards a girl who is being "too distant" until this experience, and it will definitely affect how I react to other boys in the hobby in the future. I can't see it as just "yay, this boy is interested in the same things as me!" anymore.

 

[MENTION=61977]Layn[/MENTION] Why does him being interested in dolls have anything to do with it? Bjd's aren't exactly a chick magnet lol. Trust me I didn't get into BJDs to find a girl, it's not some secret plot to trick girls into going out with me.

Can't blame a guy for trying to find a girl who likes dolls too. This hobby isn't quite as big as most others and girls not in the hobby aren't always as accepting of us male collectors (in my experience.) If I met a girl at a doll meet who I found attractive, you're damn right I'm gonna try and talk with her. No different than if I found a girl who likes comics or anime. Or girls who only want guys who listen to country music and drive TRUCKS. Gotta have something in common...what else are you going to talk about? lol

Or maybe this guy was just a douche. There are douches in every hobby. They were douches before the hobby and they still will be if they decide to leave the hobby.

 

I don't really think that there's anything wrong with guys owning bjds. After all, if it makes someone happy, no matter what their gender may be, then I don't see any problems or issues with that.
I guess some [or most] people just find it odd when they see guys playing with dolls/bjds because they are used to the perspective that it is limited for girls/women to do 'girly' things like play with dolls, and for men to well, do other things like, maybe sports for example.

 

It was just that I had never before really encountered a boy who thought that just because he was the only male friend I had, that that automatically makes him entitled to have me spend time with him when he asks me to spend time with him. After encountering that, that makes me pretty worried about any future contact with boys in the hobby.

 

Layn, I've known guys like that and it has nothing to do with the hobby. Don't let him sour you on guys in the hobby, it's just a coincidence. Some guys get overly possessive, and he was just one of those guys. You're better off not being around him, because he'd likely keep trying controlling you. Those are the kind of guys that end up as abusive boyfriends, and they can happen anywhere. I knew a guy in high school who thought he could follow me everywhere just because we both liked pokemon. I eventually blew up at him and he left me alone, but that's what you have to do with a guy like that. No two guys are alike, and no two people in this hobby are alike. At least now you know the signs of a creeper better and can avoid them better in the future. There are plenty of nice guys that like dolls to make up for that creep. One of my good friends got her boyfriend into dolls, and he's a good guy, so I know they're out there!

 

Still don't see why it applies to guys who collect bjds. The same thing could happen with the muscle head you met at the gym, the nerdy guy you talked to at the bookstore or the grease monkey you had a few drinks with at the bar. I think it's more about THAT guy in particular. But I guess you're gonna feel the way you feel regardless of what a stranger on a forum says lol.

 

I was talking to a guy friend, who told me a story about how he had another (female) friend who mentioned spending lots of money on dolls, and get was really confused...until he saw her BJDs and her photographs and then was like, "Woah, this isn't just playing with dolls, this is an extreme art commitment!" He didn't admire them enough to buy one, cost prohibitive in his case, but I thought the story was cool because he was admitting that BJDs were art and if you look at it like that (which most people not in the hobby don't seem to), well, collecting and appreciating art is an activity socially acceptable for both genders, right?

 

If any girl has a problem with guys owning BJDs they should just leaveeee. B|

 

I didn't read through all the posts on this thread, but I sincerely hope there isn't anything in here that will offend any male bjd owners... this topic seems like it could easily go into "feelings hurt" territory.

I think, here in my little corner of the world, there is an extreme cultural bias. Women should clothing shop in their free time and men should be into cars. Only little girls should have dolls. Me, being a grown woman, having dolls gets the eyebrow. So I can only imagine how a man with dolls would be treated here. And honestly, it was a little odd to me at first when I first encountered men with dolls, because I was raised here and that mindset was embedded in me... but after some time talking with these men, they're usually pretty normal. I moved on from that deep embedded cultural bias and now I just get excited. It intrigues me how this hobby can include so many different cultures, ages, genders... just all different people.

Now, I find it absolutely adorable when a man talks about fixing up his doll collection while watching wrestling or something. Its so different what I'm used to, and that's great. When you really sit back and think about what you were told is acceptably masculine, you just kind of have to laugh and think "why?" I mean, who makes these rules on what men can or can't enjoy? Dolls are basically customizable 3D art. Were all allowed to like art.

 

As a guy in the hobby I am going to say, this has nothing to do with being a guy into BJDs. This has everything to do with the way most men are just generally brought up. It's nice guy syndrome, it's part of the "rape culture" people think feminists are soooo crazy for talking about. It's a guy thinking simply because he is interested, because he is going after what he wants, because he is expending any level of effort that he is entitled to what he feels he's owed from a woman. It's a disgusting behaviour that unfortunately a lot of guys don't see anything wrong with, and it's frustrating for those of us who don't feel this way because most women feel they have to be on guard around all of us to be safe from it and I can't even really blame them. Most women have had at least one man in their life who has behaved/treated them this way. It's not something that's special or unique to men who collect BJDs, it's a behaviour that is unfortunately learned by a lot of men, period.

 

I got my boyfriend into BJDs. First he thought they were creepy and I showed him some Dearmine dolls. He really liked them. Then I showed him anthro cat dolls (human with cat ears, tail, sometimes paws) and he liked those.
...Then I showed him Ring Doll. And he started obsessing over Sol. Then a little later my doll got here, he got super excited and I Skyped him when I opened it.... Long story short, he is now super obsessed, found matching boy/girl anthro dolls he wants to get for us, and is saving up money to get BBB/RS Ming. The doll curse is passed on. xD

 

I've never met a guy in the hobby in real-life, so can't say anything about it. I've attended couple of meet-ups, but they were all women.

 

I think it is really cool that there are guys with dolls.

 

My best friend's a dude and he got me into the hobby. And I'm not exactly a girl, either, so. I've seen a lot of people mention GI Joe's, and my brother had some when he was growing up, and I had my Barbies. We'd each play with both sets (to a degree) and our parents were pretty lax about whether something was "too girly" to play with. It's weird to make a big deal out of guys with dolls to me, honestly. Especially since action figures get used for little photo-comics and such all the time by cisgender straight men. There's really no difference.

 

I don't think its weird if a guy likes BJDs. I think it's good that BJD appeals to both genders

 

Irregardless of gender I think it would be very shallow to cast judgement on any person just because they like dolls.

 

I don't have a problem with men who enjoy participating in this hobby. In fact, I think it's pretty cool that some do! These dolls can be enjoyed by both genders. I can't think of a single reason why bjds should be exclusive to women.

 

i have no problem with them because my two boys bff have BJD too
they are just too cool B-> everyone can play with dolls

 

This again? I thought it wasn't a big deal that guys were in the hobby anymore. I don't see anything creepy or wrong with liking anything you want to. This isn't a girls only space, like female public bathrooms.