1. It has come to the attention of forum staff that Dollshe Craft has ceased communications with dealers and customers, has failed to provide promised refunds for the excessive waits, and now has wait times surpassing 5 years in some cases. Forum staff are also concerned as there are claims being put forth that Dollshe plans to close down their doll making company. Due to the instability of the company, the lack of communication, the lack of promised refunds, and the wait times now surpassing 5 years, we strongly urge members to research the current state of this company very carefully and thoroughly before deciding to place an order. For more information please see the Dollshe waiting room. Do not assume this cannot happen to you or that your order will be different.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Dollshe Craft and all dolls created by Dollshe, including any dolls created under his new or future companies, including Club Coco BJD are now banned from Den of Angels. Dollshe and the sculptor may not advertise his products on this forum. Sales may not be discussed, no news threads may be posted regarding new releases. This ban does not impact any dolls by Dollshe ordered by November 8, 2023. Any dolls ordered after November 8, 2023, regardless of the date the sculpt was released, are banned from this forum as are any dolls released under his new or future companies including but not limited to Club Coco BJD. This ban does not apply to other company dolls cast by Dollshe as part of a casting agreement between him and the actual sculpt or company and those dolls may still be discussed on the forum. Please come to Ask the Moderators if you have any questions.
    Dismiss Notice

Girls view on guys who own BJDs

Oct 26, 2010

    1. To answer your first question: If I found out a guy was into the BJD hobby, my first feelings would be those of attraction. Depending on how he treats his dolls, I would view him as very sweet and compassionate. As we all know, this hobby demands a lot of patience, time and care. If he is serious about it, it would reflect in all aspects of his life.

      And for the second question: I find it completely normal. I grew up in a very gender neutral house. Gender roles were never blatantly assigned. My brother and I use to share all the same toys. No one ever said "You can't play with that because your a girl!" or vice versa. So because of this, I don't think twice if a guy is into BJDs.
       
    2. Oh the dolls have been well a shot in the foot to my already bullet riddled feet in the dating game...I guess you walk in... I donno, point is I have never and would never persue any woman who collected BJD's.
      I do think, in the past people have mistaken my general friendliness for flirtation, which causes the demise of many friendships.
      Point is, to me it's their hobby and I'd be making it awkward for them.

      I am like a guest and the only thing...well I don't expect anything, I generally just hope people are nice to me.
      I'm a weird guy who collects dolls, I made my bed lol.
       
    3. I applaud the confidence of any guy interested in BJDs. American culture is against the idea of guys playing with dolls, but BJDs are so much more than dolls. Honestly BJDs seem like they should be a gender neutral hobby, and I think most hobbies should be. Guys into BJDs are no more weird (Confining Western Stereotyping) than us girls!
       
    4. From my experience though, the guys are nice to hang out with and talk with, it is nice they have dolls and I have dolls, and they give me some useful info or tips to worked with my dolls lol
       
    5. I consider BJD an artform. I don't see why any type of art would be gender specific.
       
    6. I'm not going to say; "it's great/cute!"

      However, I think it is perfectly fine to follow the hobbies you love, no matter your gender. If people judge you at all, for being a guy in the hobby, then those people are obviously losers and need to spend more time evaluating their own lives.

      This is my opinion :)
       
    7. I would marry him, I think :XD: I have a male friend thats in the hobby, and another male friend that is interested in getting a BJD as well, and I think its fantastic.
      I agree that anyone of any gender should be able to pursue any hobby that they want. As long as they're treating their dolls well and being a good person, then I don't mind a thing!
       
    8. I just see them as other collectors/people in the hobby. Whether they are a guy or not doesn't matter to me.

      I do feel bad for guys in the hobby though, since I understand that it must be more difficult for them to tell others about being in the hobby. The world is still sexist place that perceives dolls as something meant only for girls.
       
    9. This topic is fascinating to me as a male BJD owner, particularly because of how nuanced some people's criteria are for acceptance. Just reading through the past few pages, I've noticed various cases people have mentioned that range from "it's all cool" to "it's OK if the dolls aren't over-sexualized" to very specific things like, "as long as it's not an old guy with porcelain baby dolls". That last one made me chuckle a bit, tbh.

      This post will no doubt end up being TLDR for some people, but nevertheless, I'm going to give you my whole story of how I ended up as a guy in this hobby, why I have the dolls I do, how and why I use them as I do, what people's reactions have been, and what gender biases I’ve noticed.

      First off, I personally agree with the people who have noted that creepiness is generally a trait independent of being a doll collector, and of gender. I don't find dolls inherently creepy, but I can recall quite vividly the first time I found a doll collector creepy, and while it happened to be a middle-aged woman, this is irrelevant. I was at a doll convention and she had one of those super-realistic baby dolls and was talking to it as if it were an actual baby. OK, no big deal. But it got weird when I asked her about the doll and she shushed me, irritated, and said he was sleeping! She did not mock chastise and then answer my question, she was dead serious and would not break out of her role-play/delusion (you decide which) to tell me what kind of doll it was and I had to just walk away from this awkwardness with a stunned look on my face thinking “did that really just happen?” There are also people on Flickr who do things with dolls I find creepy, and I come back to this towards the end of this post.

      I am a middle-aged, straight guy, with a wife and daughters, who had action figures as a kid--GI Joe and MotU--but never dolls, per se. My childhood was mostly about playing with electricity and blowing stuff up. I only got into the doll hobby when my wife wanted me to learn how to cast custom doll shoes for her Blythes, since the required equipment and know-how was suited to my skill set (I'm what one might call a "maker" in current DIY hipster parlance). I'm an engineer and my dad was a polyurethanes chemist, and I spent summers working in his lab as a technician where I didn’t do much besides experiments with polyurethanes (what BJD are made of, for those who don't know) and—in my downtime—seeing what would dissolve in sulfuric or hydrofluoric acid.

      The challenge of making things got me hooked, and shortly after this, I realized the incredible potential dolls had for being photo muses. I’ve been into photography since before I was born, and with my first doll photo, my newest hobby was fully established. For some 6-1/2 years now, starting with Blythes, I’ve been photographing dolls in various environments, often industrial ruins.

      [​IMG]Sandy's Room by abs plastic, on Flickr

      I regularly make things too, from custom cast doll shoes, to jewelry, to props and clothing. In the last year I added sewing stretchy fabrics and stretch pattern drafting to my list of mad maker skillz.

      Working with the Blythe dolls, I quickly ran up against their posability limitations. I did a lot of real person portraiture in college and realized that I wanted to make more realistic looking photographs, and that the stiff-armed big heads weren’t the best choice for me. I moved on to 11” and 12” articulated fashion dolls (mostly Misaki and Poppy Parker), then to my first BJD, a Limhwa “To You Sara”. That BJD didn’t work for me. She was frustrating to pose, and I couldn’t do a decent 1:6 scale face up to save my life. I continued on to 16” fashion dolls briefly, then I discovered Iplehouse Mari on Flickr. Mari was hands down the most beautiful doll I had ever seen (and still is). I actually missed the EG order period and had to wait for their Custom Doll System ordering to open up, but as soon as it did, she was on order.

      With Mari and BJD in general, we arrive at the much-discussed “sexy doll” issue. Firstly, let’s all be honest with ourselves and acknowledge that the Iplehouse ladies and gentlemen are all underwear model, knitting pattern sexy. This is by design, IH is not trying to sculpt everyday Joes and Janes; the women are curvy and the men are ripped. In my opinion, it would be a shame to only photograph these dolls fully clothed, which I don’t. I take my photography pretty seriously, and while many of my BJD photos are fairly categorized as erotic, or pinups, I am mindful of what is tasteful and artistic. An interesting anecdote here: a lot of my dolls that are nude in outdoor environments (like this disgusting smelling salt marsh (nudity): https://flic.kr/p/ekLKhL) are so primarily because I don't want to wreck their super expensive clothing! The sensual aspect of their nakedness is sometimes secondary to necessity. One need only go to Flickr and search “Iplehouse” to see that I’m not only not alone in this genre either; a great many shots of Iplehouse’s dolls are pretty steamy. Append “sexy” or “nude” to the search terms, and you’ll still have no shortage of results. This is all fine by me, sexuality is an important and natural part of the human experience.

      Nevertheless, when things get a bit racy, we encounter some interesting reactions—some thoughtful, some knee-jerk—many of which say more about the person reacting and our culture than about the dolls, photos or their photographers. Majority of the “sexy” or erotic BJD photos, of both male and female dolls, are from female owners and photographers. This is to be expected, of course, since women hugely outnumber men in this hobby. By my rough count, it’s nearly two orders of magnitude (100-to-1). With that said, let’s consider this observation from earlier in this thread:

      Nail on the head. Because we live in a society where men are above women in the general hierarchy of oppression, and where dolls are seen as a female hobby, men making sexy doll photos are viewed very differently than women making them. “Objectifying” is something that both genders can do, but it’s often only seen as controversial when it’s the oppressor class objectifying the oppressed. Men photographing female dolls in any way that seems sexy have the double whammy of being seen both as objectifiers and guys with a "girly", "sissy", "gay", etc. hobby. I know these are not politically correct terms, and I don’t ever use these terms in a derogatory way myself, I’ve put them in quotes because they are things that have been said to me, not by me, and I feel it’s important for this discussion not to water it down. And I’ll be honest, there are times when I’ve been out in public photographing dolls, even when in completely not sexy themes, that I’ve thought “I’d be a lot less self-conscious about doing this if I were either a woman or had women friends with me”. Truth.

      Now, let’s revisit the creepy issue as it relates to this. It doesn’t apply to most male BJD collectors I know, but it certainly exists. Oh does it exist, and I know from whence the concern comes… Flickr has no shortage of people (mostly men it seems) posting all manner of über-crude Barbie torture porn, figures and dolls that are hugely and offensively endowed—often with the particularly disturbing (to me and most people) combination of childlike faces, huge balloon breasts, and overtly sexual poses—some even exposing their genitalia. Then there are life-size “love doll” photographers, and that extra special brand of doll fetishists who like to photograph themselves “doing things” to dolls. OK, I’m a pretty liberal guy who believes that none of these things is necessarily morally wrong, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find a lot of it creepy; I definitely do, and have blocked many Flickr users in order to not see this kind of stuff. Where the line is that demarcates the creepy zone is a personal thing, it’s going to be different for each of us. Just remember that you get to decide what you’re comfortable with, and in most circumstances, you can do so respectfully, filtering it out without having to judge someone else.

      I personally strive to produce tasteful fine art and stay well on the non-creepy, non-offensive side of peoples comfort lines. I can’t hope to please everyone, of course, there will always be outliers at the end of the bell curve where their creepy line is crossed by any adult having a doll, period, and who are perpetually looking to be outraged. But some of you have met me, and I think (at least hope) that I am not creepy. I’m a pretty typical family guy, and this is just one of my dozen or so hobbies. I’m also into repairing antique marine hardware, car repair, welding, home machine shop, watching Dr. Who, and other hobbies for which I score man points. I use that phrase mockingly of course, I know women who do all of these things well, I would love to see either or both of my daughters conquer the STEM fields should they so desire, and I self-identify as a feminist.

      Phew. Thanks for reading. I hope there is some point of view in there that made it worthwhile ;-)
       
      • x 1
    10. Personally, I feel it is really cool to see guys collecting doll(s)! I meant, it'll be awesome if I can meet and talk with one of them about dolls...>o< I can understand some guys hide this hobby due to their fear of judgement or criticism since they're not comfortable with people who can't understand them as collectors.

      For me, collecting dolls is kind of hobby or something related to creative arts (like photography, clothes styles, wigs, figures, and others). So, collecting dolls does not make you "gay", "girly", "childish" regardless of gender, age, religion, ethnicity, and economic status.

      Some people collect dolls as they simply express their appreciation of creative arts related to dolls. And, others collect dolls as companions in their life. There is no wrong and no right to collect and own dolls. So, I have always viewed all types of collectors as parts of their own expressions respectfully...=)
       
    11. Let's see...my brother, my son, my male best friend, and my husband are all BJD collectors.

      My brother has an appreciation for the beauty of the sculpts and enjoys having a variety of dolls to dress in various fashions and styles. He exclusively has female dolls at the moment, though he has plans for a few men in the collection. While he adores his va-va-voom Iplehouse ladies, he would never part with his yo-sized babies, who are very much toddlers and are very much his favorites. XD

      My son, who is not quite 13, treats them as dear friends and an outlet to explore his creativity and develop appropriate social interactions. (He's suffers from an Autism Spectrum Disorder.) He's getting to an age where he is beginning to want to have dolls to represent favorite characters from books and movies.

      My roommate's collection is all over the place. XD They represent a wide variety of things.

      My husband's collection is primarily male dolls, and are fantasy-based. They are another outlet for his creative energies.

      I don't think any of them are creepy or weird for enjoying dolls. I don't think any of them are enjoying their dolls in an unhealthy fashion. I do resent people who make judgements on them for being male BJD collectors.

      Is it really any weirder than men who build tiny villages in their basements or garages and run tiny electric trains through them, in an attempt to recapture a highly-fictionalized past? Is it any creepier than men who dress in costumes and affect other personalities for their hobby (be it cosplays or renfests)? Is it any more objectifying than men who spend money and time on "fantasy" sports, or obsess over an athlete or sports team? These are all "acceptable" hobby outlets for men, and very few people judge them for it.

      Any hobby is going to attract weirdos and creeps of any gender. It's inevitable. I've known some female doll collectors over the years who are far creepier and weird than the men that I've known in the doll-collecting community. I think it's unfortunate that the knee-jerk reaction to a man in a traditionally female hobby is that they are some sort of transgressor or outsider. (This also holds true in sewing, knitting, and even in jobs such as teaching or nursing.) But, it is frustrating to try to raise a child to be non-judgmental and accepting when he gets *immediately* judged for enjoying traditionally female hobbies and pastimes.

      That's been a bit rambly. I think the gist of what I want to say that it's unfair to judge people on the hobbies they enjoy and how they choose to enjoy those hobbies, especially when it's based on something as inconsequential as gender.
       
    12. I think men who own bjd's are normal and nothing to throw a big fuss about. Men have been collecting all sorts of things since the dawn of time. I honestly don't get what the big deal is about men being in the hobby. It's just more people.
       

    13. ^ Totally Agree... ! I wouldnt call it awesome for a man to own dolls cuz in my culture its not that common/regular hobby to see. But honestly you should do whatever you like despite others opinion, always ;)
       
    14. I personally think that BJD's is an artform, and anyone from both genders can appreciate art. It's neutral.
      Just that a rather tiny proportion of DD owners could be perverts because of DD's idealized body proportions.
       
    15. Many years ago I was involved in the Barbie collecting world. There are a lot of men who collected Barbies. Admittedly most are gay, but a few were straight. Gay guys collecting dolls seemed perfectly normal, but it took a while to wrap my brain around the idea that straight me would collect them.
      Someone a few posts back was mentioning that she thought it strange for older men to collect dolls, but not for young guys. The men I knew who collected Barbies were all ages. One man was in his 60s who collected Barbies when he retired, so he could share his wifes hobby.

      BJD dolls are more like sculpted works of art, so I think it is totally normal for anyone to collect them.
       
    16. I don't see a problem with it at all! Though most of my male friends dislike them, my best friend really love bjds and would really love to have one for himself (to which I hope to buy him his first bjd <3) The worst I can say is that I'd find it unusual, and not in a bad way. With so many females in this hobby, that's what I've simply gotten used to seeing. I'd have no problems seeing a guy with a bjd, as long as he didn't mind my fawning over it!

      I'd also find it kind of adorable, but I find a lot of things adorable as well.
       
    17. I don't think I'd even notice. Girl or guy whatever you like, you just like!
       
    18. I wish my boyfriend was into the hobby.
       
    19. For me, I think it depends on how guys play with them. It may be a little wired for me if they keep them as toys, since I do not often see guys enjoying outfit or makeup changing. However, I think it is totally normal if they keep the dolls as art. A lot of people have collecting obsession, and dolls are definitely something these people would like to have. It does not matter with gender.
       
    20. On the other side of the coin, I know a woman who is an avid G.I.Joe collector. She has a whole room devoted to the dolls and their equipment.

      My big macho body-builder ex boyfriend collected McDonald's Happy Meal toys.