Girls view on guys who own BJDs

THEY'RE NOT DOLLS THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES!! lol... Some really big action figures? Nah, I'm just joking, it's kind of a running joke for some guys in the hobby.

I know quite a few guys, online, that are into the hobby. Some openly gay, several totally straight, some who don't divulge, but who cares what their sexuality is anyways. I don't think it actually matters.

I think it's totally awesome to have guys with dolls (lol, there's actually a forum called that). If I'd had a boy (child) I would have been totally happy with him playing with dolls. As it is, I have three girls, and they were all different in their play choices, but there were cars, trucks, building toys, and dolls, including Barbies, in amongst their toys. And they are all avid gamers, from cutesy Kirby to hard-core Metal Gear, Assassins Creed, and so on... I see no reason these type of choices shouldn't extend into adulthood.

 

I quoted Crimsoncat here because I agree. But that said... I sometimes have an icky feeling about the older guys with really cuty BJDs whom I've seen at a couple of anime conventions. I felt like they were trying to attract young girls to talk to them for nefarious reasons. I could be completely wrong and off base about their intent, but it is a possibility none-the-less.

As I am over 50, I have had younger BJD owners look at me rather questioningly when I've brought a boy or two to a meet-up. But they soon realize that I love my BJDs as much as they appreciate their own.

 

My view is the same on dudes who crossdress.
Totally cool.
I mean, in America, at lest, any male who likes anything consider "too female-like" is called gay.
So for any male who takes that, and laughs at that notion in it's face, is a true man to me.

Men + dolls = Radical.

 

I think guys being in the hobby is pretty darned cool, and cute. As in attractive. Especially if said guy is from a culture, like America, where 'boys don't play with doll', just like boys who wear pink. When a guy can do something that his culture says only 'girls' do, it's attractive, because it shows just how confident and sure of himself he is! Especially when he does so openly.

My husband is finally getting into the hobby, with his first doll on order (his Christmas gift from me once he chose the sculpt, I've got a lot of work to do on her once she gets here) AND he has 3 more planned once we find the right sculpts for the characters! It only makes him more attractive to me than he already was.

My 4 year old is interested in my dolls, has been since he was 2. If his interest holds, once he outgrows his destructive stage with toys, he'll be allowed to pick his first doll, too. If my younger son (16 months) develops an interest, it will be encouraged, too. If he doesn't, whatever he IS interested in when he's older will be encouraged.

I love seeing people, male or female, crossing those silly gender boundaries. My sisters and I are all girls, and are all gamers. I always liked dolls and skirts and dresses...one sister liked trucks, tractors, and jeans, the other liked jeans, cute tops, and jewelry. We were always encouraged to do whatever we liked, so long as it was legal. Everyone should have that, but too few do.

So males who cross that line from liking what's 'manly' to what's 'for girls' have my respect. And my interest. And are more attractive for it.

 

Ehh... I think its weird. Only because I was raised that boys dont play with dolls- its a girly thing. But I don't say anything and I haven't really met any guys IRL that have dolls.

 

I find it perfectly normal, though I was surprised to find how many guys are actually in this hobby - but surprosed in positive way.
Aaaah, stereotypes. Guys don't play dolls. Just like a 30 + year old woman should have husband and kids and se definitely shouldn't waste her time playing hack&slash video games.
So also because I hate such stereotypes, I'd say - guys should play with dolls, if they like, and I'm going back to playing Sengoku Basara 3 ^_-.

 

technically it's no different from other things like girls being into racecars or games, but at the same time the little voice at the back of my head is asking 'why?'. Girls have reasons that vary from being able to pretty dollies up to cutesy photographing etc. But when it comes to a boy past their teens with a selection of big breast resin models, you can't help but wonder if it's simply cause of the image of a naked woman. I'm not saying that's the case, but I do often find myself thinking do they really enjoy just putting make up on them, or is it more about the body and blushing.

 

To you women in this thread saying things like "men get dolls that have big boobs, thinks they are sexy, to attract younger girls" and so on... really? Really?!
That is so mindblowingly sexist I do not even know where to begin!
What do you think men are? Soulless sexmaniacs and potential childmolesters?
And even if a man would get a pretty female doll just to sex her up and take pictures of her... so what? Are you telling me that there are no women doing this? I see plenty of women on this board collecting only good looking male dolls and talking about how sexy they are and taking pictures of them.

Also lot of the wonderful dolls you see here are sculpted by MEN.
I am disappointed that gender discrimination like this exists on a board like DoA.

 

@ Adamantine: Perhaps some males like to dress their dolls in cute maid outfits? Lol I'm not saying that everyone does that, but looking at Danny Choo's blog, i had an impression that he had a thing for dressing his "daughters" in revealing clothes. But anyway, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, if they're happy doing what they're doing then we should just respect their choices

I have to admit that an old guy toting his bjd around would be pretty weird, but that's just something we're not use to seeing, hence the feeling that there's something off. On the bright side though at least we have a common topic with said old men ;p

@ Manscan: Woah!That's pretty amazing! Dude, have you ever considered opening a museum with that impressive collection of yours?

@ Nihmo Woah! Chill out! Not everyone does it, but some people do, and of course some women objectify dolls just as much as men too. Everyone's equal. We're not trying to be sexist or anything ):

 

When I was a kid all I played with were Thundercats action figures (apart from my poor mutilated hand-me-down barbies) and was more at home building treehouses than playing tea-parties. Girls can be tomboys and that's totally acceptable, so there's absolutely nothing wrong with boys wanting to play dollies and dress up without being labelled gay or whatever.

For me, I have lots of male friends who collect BJDs or who have an interest in them (although I do seem to find that the more macho/masculine the man, in my circle of friends, the more terrified he is of my dolls......) and I think it's wonderful! There is nothing 'weird' or 'wrong' about it - certainly no more than a bunch of grown women playing with dolls! I mean seriously, I second Nimho - there are TONS of women here on DoA and off-site who overly sexualise their MALE dolls, why should it be a problem if men do it to their female dolls? And who's to say that's what they do anyway? What about the men who own male dolls? Or the gay men who own female dolls and who have absolutely no sexual interest in the female form?

I didn't read the whole thread, only this last page, so I'm only really giving my opinion. I don't think there's anything wrong at all with men owning BJDs, or little boys playing with barbies for that matter, it's just a negative stereotype that society and upbringing have made us believe. I for one won't let historical slander colour my viewpoint I love meeting guys at doll meets, I find that very often I have much more in common with them than with the girls and I have had some fantastic conversations with them.

The very face that this thread exists makes me sad Guys shouldn't have any stigma over this hobby at all, and the fact that even within the hobby there is still a bit of negative impressions surprises me. Needless to say I have encouraged my fiance to get a doll (he now has one! ) and encourage all my friends - regardless of their gender - to get a BJD if they're interested in the hobby!

 

My point exactly!

Don't worry! I am chill.
I am however always going to be questioning discrimination, of all kinds, always. I may be intense in my way of wording things but I did not comment in this thread to start a war or something.


It is quite sad though to see that some of you are hard-wired to think a man with a bjd is something weird to see, especially if he is older. I know I will like my bjds when I am older as much as now.

edit: *blows kisses at Ehryn*

 

Nihmo: What's so sad about us being hard-wired the way we are? For as loud as you seem to be stamping your feet over it, you're pretty quick to show your hard-wiring is a little narrow, as well.

We were all raised differently, with different beliefs and different points of view on life, and we've all experienced different groups of people in different ways. Just like some think it's weird to eat fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, some think it's weird for a guy to like dolls. No reason to be so judgmental about it.

 

Ehehe perhaps i should grab my barbie and go scare my macho P.E. teachers with it ;P

@ Nihmo Oh okay! I'm glad you're not really mad ( whew for a moment there i thought a flaming war was about to break out)

I suppose some of us are hardwired like this as we were brought up with the idea that men shouldn't play with dolls? And prejudice is really hard to exterminate...

But at least no one here is really that sexist as to condemn men

 

I think it is. It is a really good reason to be judgemental because it can honestly hurt people.
To me it is always something wrong or sad when you judge people differently because of race, gender, sexual orientation and so on.
If you judge a man with a doll differently than a woman with a doll only because of his gender I think that is something to frown upon.
You find me narrow-minded because I think that way? That is your right but comparing this to peanut and banana sandwiches...? You lost me there.

 

No, no! No flaming war! If I sense that coming on I will be the first one to back off. Hopefully most people here get what I am saying. Try to treat everyone equally. I find it hard to see that anyone would disagree with that.

 

I'm sorry if this comes across the wrong way, but being hardwired to think something doesn't necessarily make it right. By that logic then racism is just fine, because some people are raised to hate African Americans or Mexicans or Asians or Caucasians or whatever. I'm not trying to start anything here, just trying to explain why I think it's wrong to tell guys they're weird for liking dolls. Not liking fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches can come down to a matter of taste (for example I have a friend who likes cheese and jam sandwiches and I think that's weird because it's a combination that I physically dislike) but that's not a matter of upbringing or being 'hardwired' to think it's weird, it's an opinion. While telling guys that they're weird or wrong for liking dolls is also an opinion, the fact that it is an opinion doesn't make it any less sexist just like telling a guy he's a lesser human for having different coloured skin isn't any less racist for being a person's opinion.

Am I making sense? I feel like I'm waffling >< Anyway, I hope I've explained my position a little better now

 

I was born in US so my views have been affectted by it but before I got in this hobby I would have thought it was really really weird but I'd still be friends with them if the occasion arose, now I'd actually like to meet a guy in the hobby. I think itd be fun to be bjd friends with them.

 

Hello Stargazer. Yes , those are Himmies! Its a shame she closed her factory because of the economy in Germany. I will miss her wonderful dolls.
I could post more pics of the room but, I start today with holiday decorating.
Today we move the entire contents of our home to storage and then, put all the Holiday stuff in the house. We have 10 Christmas trees that will go up in the house.
It takes us one week to do this.
The doll gallery will me emptied and the "Doll Christmas Tree" will go up. All dolls will be rearranged or swapped out with others.

 

lol i think I totally have double standards on this front, because alothough I said it would probably weird me out at first if I saw some older guy in public with one, it really wouldn't put me off if a guy I liked had this as an existing hobby, or even if my boyfriend decided he wanted to take this up XD but then people are totally more 'forgiving' of things they may find strange in a different context when it comes to people they care about, I think that's human nature XD

 

I think that does play a major part. Where I live is very much a "man's man" kind of city. It's pretty rough and tumble and "do it yourself cause nobody's gonna do it for you" around here. On the other hand, there's also a fair amount of "build the life you want for yourself," and I think that is why I am totally fine with boys who collect dolls. Life's too short not to go after what makes you happy. And really, if someone has issues with you having a hobby that in no way affects them, they are the ones with a problem, not you.