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Girls view on guys who own BJDs

Oct 26, 2010

    1. I would love it if my husband appreciated my dolls a bit more but he would certainly never collect them.

      Seriously though....Aren't dolls just action figures with removable clothes :D
       
    2. Unfortunately, we've been "socially trained" within our cultures that it's the norm for boys to like cars and robots and girls to like dolls. It's more forgiving for a girl to like "masculine" stuff, but it's not as forgiving and is frowned upon when a guy likes "feminine" stuff. As many people here said, I think the tragedy lies in that people assume that one is gay/effeminate if he likes dolls, when it really isn't. However, as Crimsoncat states, it does make me pause for a sec when I see guys with dolls, but I think that's because it isn't something that you see a lot within this society (although I think it has become a bit more understanding nowadays than before) and that the "girls play with dolls, not boys" thing has been put into my brain so that it seems a little bit odd. But as others have said, who is to decide that dolls are a feminine hobby and that they are for girls only? People say that playing with dolls is derived from trying to imitate your mom and her maternal roles, which is common among girls because the feel that bond between the same sex blah blah - this is true in some aspects, but that's not what playing with dolls is all about.

      Anyway, enough of my rambling (yes, if you have noticed, I took a feminist class in college and this was one of the most-discussed debates during class lol) - conclusively, this hobby amazes me because 1) it allows so much creativity and self-expression and because 2) it's so cool to see people of all ages, of both genders, and from so many different cultures can be bonded through dolls. Period!! X-D
       
    3. Sounds like a huge project! I am moving into my new apartment in November, I don't even have space for 1 christmas tree, but I'm trying. Space is such an issue. Come to think of it, DOA does not have a thread "Doll room, show yours!" That would be interesting. I won't ever have a doll room for the life of me. I love doll room photos. So much effort and creativity goes into designing these rooms. Yes, I'm surprised by Annette Himstedt's decision not to continue business. I thought it was a hoax the first time I read the news.

      Back to topic about guys with dolls, Robert Tonner is a guy, he has many dolls. He's obviously not ashamed or shy of them. He does not call them action figures. I have had lectures and read treaties on other forums about why Action Figures are NOT dolls. The problem is, these guys assume DOLLS <==> BARBIES but they are wrong because Barbies are dolls but not all dolls are barbies. Barbies is one type of doll. I believe guys do play with dolls, they call their dolls action figures.

      About feminism. Just a thought.........many dolls are sculpted and designed by men. Are these dolls not a man's definition of what women should play with, love and collect? How do these men know what women like? Are men defining what we should be loving?

      I hate stereotyping. Girls = dolls
       
    4. Interesting that feminism should be brought up in this thread. I think at the moment the world still does not exist in Gender Equity - Women are allowed a lot more freedom with what they choose to do and think these days than men are. Men are still caught a great deal by the bounds of stereotyping - they have to like cars and beer, and not be the stay-at-home dad because they have to provide for their family. (I think I threw up a little bit writing that. I certainly had a voice in my head going "Me Tarzan. You Jane.") The social pressure on men to be manly is enormous in todays society and it's only increasing as women try to create their own way.

      A lot of it stems from gender insecurity that is hard wired into human instinct. If you look at ancient cultures the men were always the hunters, the women were the nurturers. Women have soft, supple bodies, men have hard, muscular bodies. We are each designed for the role that we used to play in human society.

      Used to.

      I think something interesting to watch will be the current LBGT debate that is occurring. I think it's set to peak soon, much like the women's rights and black rights debates did before it. I think we'll see a lot of social change on the basis of what is acceptable for men in society - what they can and can't do with their clothing, what they can express publicly, what they can collect and share in. It is becoming more and more acceptable in society to buck the trend and do something that goes against what is the 'status quo.'

      I think that this means over the next few years there will be a definite shift in what is acceptable (particularly in Western Culture) and we'll see a lot more of our hidden guys with dolls dusting them off and bringing them into the open. Which is a very good thing.
       
    5. How do I feel about men/boys who collect dolls? My hubby and oldest son collect BJD's and I don't find them creepy (at least lets hope I don't). There are actually several men in our local group and I think it is wonderful. I don't put much stock in gender stereotypes. I am not a particularly feminine woman. I never played with dolls when I was young so my collecting them now seems a little odd to most people. My mother says it suits hubby more than it does me. We are attempting to raise our children without the pressure to behave certain ways or like certain things simply because they are boys. If they want to like the color pink or play with dolls that is great. If they want to play with toy trucks, that is fine too.
       
    6. My mom tried to raise me in an environment where I could play with both "girl" toys and "boy" toys. Since then, and because she has raised me to not care about the difference, i'm totally cool with boys who have dolls :) I think that's pretty darn cool XD especially since it really does give a bit of a fresh take on things after seeing just women with dolls.
       
    7. I've met a few guys through meets that have BJD's, and they are as crazy as the rest of us. No different really. Just as in love with their BJD's as we all are. If only I could find a boyfriend that was so understanding XD;;
       
    8. Yep you're correct, I thought that afterwards! But there are also plenty of women who
      love DD's or dollmore's busty girls and dress them very "maturely". Ahh well, I still stand by
      my belief that it's OK for guys to like BJD's....
       
    9. I believe there is a difference in males who have fascinations with dolls which are the blow up type, the "female companion" dolls and dolls of that nature. BJD's are very different and are a definite form of art and often times self expression. As a female, I seem to be drawn to the male dolls and that may be because I was a tomboy as a child and still am a more macho type of female compared to my more feminine counterparts. I love to see a boy doll dressed in tough boots, longer dark hair, light eyes and a nice, white dress shirt with torn up jeans. In real life, I dress like that sometimes and it is beautiful. So my thoughts about guys liking dolls is pretty much as noted in this article:
      http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article1901125.ece
       
    10. My husband is now getting into BJDs and I have several guys friends that are into BJDs. It doesn't seem strange or weird to me at all. I can see how it might throw some people off if it's a sight they aren't accustom to. I know in a lot of places men and dolls is really going against the traditional gender norms.

      Now if my husband starts getting a larger BJD collection then me, then it'll be wrong. That's my doll money dammit! *shakes fist*
       
    11. I'm not saying that's bad, I'm just stating something I've noticed! I think it's fine for them to do that so long as it makes them happy! After all, happiness is the most important thing in life!

      But I would pause a bit when i see women dressing their busty dolls in maid outfits, perhaps I'm just not used to it. Whatever floats their boats I guess :)
       
    12. I´m always thinking: "well thats looking kinda weird"..

      (It´s always like this: girls plays with dolls and guys plays with cars..)

      but then i´m looking at me and think: Well when you was a kid you tended to playing with cars...not with barbies...

      also.. I have a friend thats Loves to cook , sew, and paint little resin figures... he also loves to watch girly animes.. but he still has a girlfriend (and he is definately not gay xD)

      One word: It´s Prejudice
      and thats dumb :)
       
    13. I think it's a normal thing. :) Dolls aren't only for girls, IMHO&#12316; Maybe I will be surprised to see a man holding a cute female doll, but I won't see him as a weirdo or else. Some doll sculptors are male, so it's not a new thing for me... :XD:
       
    14. I always feel so bad about this, but I am really always a little curious about guys who own dolls. I think, 'is he gay?', or maybe just 'I feel odd'. I feel like a giant hypocrite for thinking any sort of gender-stereotyped thought or for having such a mean gut reaction. I feel really strongly about gay rights and I'm by no means homophobic, so if they are or aren't gay shouldn't matter at all to me. I'm verbally and hopefully actively a proponent of free-thinking, 'we're all humans who should be able to do whatever the hell we're interested in as long as it doesn't hurt other people' mindset. So whenever I have that thought I really get upset at myself for having it, and immediately begin reserving my judgment because I know it's wrong. I really really hate boxing people in based on their interests, and honestly I admire any man that has the courage (and/or disregard for social norms) to step out there and admit that he likes these dolls enough to go to a meet, seeing as he would face many people's reactions that might not be friendly. And I'm not exactly the girliest girl ever interests-wise, although I definitely show girliness through my dress when I feel like it. Stupid ingrained cultural crap. Jeez, I feel like I just went to confession. xD

      Chibihaku - so well-said! I am really looking forward to the change that we can all see is occurring.
       
    15. ...is it bad my 1st thought is that i hope he IS gay? maybe i'm weird...
       
    16. I'm just putting in my 2cents on the matter.

      I think it's really neat if guys liked dolls. I mean most do they just call them action figures, am I right. But it's seriously cool.

      No I don't really think guys who own dolls are gay. I know plenty of gay guys and they're well terrified of dolls. It must seem stereotypical for girls to think gays like dolls. Or guys like dolls because they think she is hot or sexy.

      I've never really thought those kinds of things towards guys who own dolls. My friends brother is a good example of that. He's completely normal~ we'll in my mind.
       
    17. I thinks it's awesome when I see guys with dolls. And I actually applaud some of the guys who do like doll videos or face-ups or stuff like that. To some it might seem "gay" or not normal because stereotypically dolls are for girls. But guys shouldn't let that keep them from doing something that makes them happy, like bjd collecting.
       
    18. Well, by making my own doll I found out that BJDs are not only beautiful dolls, but a high share of them is about technics and engineering. This is something which attracts men.

      Personally my hubby likes what I am doing now. He helps me wherever he can. He says when he finds something good, or where he sees a possibility for improvement. I do not think that he will ever play with Lionel. But I know that in his youth he liked to play with dolls. That does not make him less manly.

      Otherwise I have no experience of men having to do with BJDs, as they are very uncommon in my area (the dolls, not the guys).

      Regarding men dealing with "girly-considered" things: my modelhorse-community really was very astonished as a man started with the little horses. We thought at first "what does he do here?". Due to him being a man, he had completely new ideas and brought new impulses into the community, which was appreciated so very much by us.

      Now modelhorses are a rather old hobby, and BJDs are still quite new in their modern form, so there should be still new ideas to be detected. But why not accepting men as perhaps they have very different ideas? I am very much looking forward to this.
       
    19. I think it'd be great if I ever met a guy who owned dolls. All the guys I know now just look at my doll in horror and say he looks like he's going to kill them. o.o; And my brothers think I'm wasting my money. It'd be awesome to know a guy who felt the same way. ^.^ I probably would glomp them just for the heck of it. XD I mean, as a new doll owner, I think it's hard enough being judged by my family and non-BJD loving friends... and I'm a girl. They're like "aren't you too old for that?" It must be pretty hard for guys... I'd respect them for it.

      Chibihaku: I agree. I'm glad that there's some people out there that see it the way I do... I mean I definitely think women should have freedoms and such, but nowadays men are pressured a lot more into stereotypes than girls. And while I definitely support gay rights, I find it unfair that when a guy who is straight is more feminine than he "should" be, he's teased and teased until he questions everything and decides he's gay based on what everyone else tells him, just because he's a bit more feminine. I have many gay friends and I love and support them all, but I also have a formerly gay friend who said that he had always been feminine, then he got teased SO much about the way he spoke and dressed and the things he liked, that he proclaimed himself gay. A couple years later, he met a boy who had also been gay and realized that just because he liked more "feminine" things it didn't necessarily mean he was gay... and my friend realized that he had also been pressured into it. It's sort of ridiculous if you ask me that "feminine" means "gay." I've met TONS of masculine gays. Anyways, didn't mean to go off topic too much. I just wanted to add to what you had to say.
       
    20. I know I got looks at the first meet I went too carrying around Sarah, dressed in bright pink (it was a Hinaichigo outfit!)
      but I stand by what I did