Have you ever had another BJD collector say something rude about your dolls?

>wracks dusty disorganized brain<
I don't think so in person... if so I've forgotten!
I know they have on other fora, but I find that pleasing, actually, I'm kind of a masochist! ^_^

Raven

 

I haven't had anyone say anything rude to my face about my particular dolls, but I know I like both a company and art style that many people look down upon, so I'm sure it happens behind my back.

THIS.

Some one can hate my dolls, hairstyle, shoes, pets, etc. and I can respect that they dislike that, however that doesn't give them the right to be outright rude to me about them. If they care so much, they can spend a few thousand dollars and buy me all new dolls that they approve of. Or they can STFU and GTFO. I'm not in this to make anyone except me happy.

 

From another BJD collector? No, nothing outright rude - at the most careless, unthinking, knee jerky or uncensored perhaps - 'Your guy has schmutz on his face!' 'Hes got a dirty nose!' I've gotten those comments on more than one occasion....
Non-BJD collectors (and even fashion doll collectors) on the other hand.....

Alex

 

Rudeness happens to happen everywhere. I have not experienced any rudeness from people yet and I could care less if someone was rude.

 

I dont remember someone who said bad things about my doll but aniway except if its good things to know and they are saying polite and not rude I dont care, actually I must say that I didnt buy my doll and customise them for other people. I didnt buy my doll for someone else, I bougt it for me, to please me, so if someone dont like my doll thats okay we all have different taste but actually I dont know what it give to you to let know that you find a doll ugly or whatever without explaining correctly why, like I give a thing about other people rude comment that are not smart enough to be able to explain what is wrong or whatever. If its not a good point it doesnt worth to be heard. And never forget that if you dont like other people dolls, its not that everyone like yours too

 

Unfortunately rude people are everywhere. I have been fortunate enough to not have had rude encounters vis a vis my dolls, but have visted the Forum of Haters (where I don't waste my time anymore) and found a haven for the cowardly and obnoxious there. People feel very free to be hateful in an anonymous setting. That's their problem I guess.
I say never ignore rudeness, I feel very happy to encounter it IRL. I like conflict. I'm not like Raven, I'm definitely a sadist, heh.

 

I have yet to have anyone in the BJD world be rude to me which is one of the reasons why I like this hobby so much. People are very respectful and helpful (at least the ones I have met). Non- doll people one the other hand... well people always fear what they don't understand I guess.

 

Not all of us are anon, Stella. Nor are the majority of us cowards... We wouldn't use the same screen names if we were, now would we?

That said, I have to agree with Guide. In a creative hobby with very few if any universal standards of style or presentation, there are always going to be things that any given individual will like or dislike. You can't expect everyone to find everything equally attractive... That's just the nature of the beast. Get a thousand people together and you'll get a thousand different opinions.

That even goes so far as to include what defines "rudeness".

We've had long discussions here on DoA about that subject in the past, and it turns out that there's no one standard there either. To the most sensitive collectors, anything short of a gushing compliment is hurtful. Others have such thick rhino hide that they just don't recognize how snarky they might sound to someone with more tender feelings, no matter how neutral they might have intended to be. And, yeah... as with any large group, you'll always find a few who really are just that blunt and acidic.

Your best bet given the circumstances is to learn to let things go. It's a hobby... Don't take any of it too seriously and nothing anyone says will get to you. It's just not that big a deal if some Jane Doe on the far side of nowhere doesn't like the way you dress or paint your toys.

 

I think we have all seen a face up or doll mold that we cringe at first site of. I have had to try not to make that face at times. But I would never ever tell someone that I hated their doll, nor would I lie and say I loved it. I would just find some nice and true thing to say. As far as someone saying anything to me it has not happened, it they did I would just shrug it off. I have seen that look people give me when I say I collect dolls. It isnt a good one but it doesnt bother me. I guess I have a thick skin.

 

I've never been told those kinds of rude comments from doll-hobbyists, and hopefully no time soon *it's inevitable, from what I gather...* and my mom is the only one that's said negative comments about things I've picked out for my future/dolls I have.

 

Cool post, dude, totally feeling what you're saying here. I think the same thing, about how lots of people excuse their own rudeness with poor excuses like 'I'm just being honest, do you want me to lie?'!


I'm kind of tactless myself, and I hate to lie about stuff like this, so I might end up accidentally offending some people... I always try to say nice things, but I'll also let slip some things 'I'm not a big fan of Volks bodies' because I don't feel right to hide my opinion. But if I say anything potentially clashy, I usually sandwich the statement so that it's obvious I'm not trying to be rude. I wouldn't say anything like 'Your faceup is ugly' (Weeell... unless the owner themselves openly admitted to it and it was 100% painfully obvious... Then I couldn't deny it XD . But that's never happened.) .

If anybody told me 'your doll is creepy, doesn't the staring freak you out at night?' or 'why'd you have to pick that doll, it has weird huge eyes' or 'I don't really like the body style' or anything like that (well, I've had comments like these already =P ) it wouldn't register as rude unless they meant it to be rude. You can usually tell when someone's just sharing their thought/opinion without mean intent and when they're just trying to be nasty, and it's more the 'intentionally being nasty' part that would piss me off.

If someone were as rude as some of the accounts in this thread, or as I've read elsewhere, I'd get real catty and start mouthing them off. I do my best to avoid a fight, but if someone's going to start shit I'll end it for them, know what I mean? No one has to deal with that crap, and there's no need to uphold civility after a certain point. But it's a pretty clear line that has to be crossed =P .

ali

 

Well uhm... i don't have any doll, but i notice in all of the forums of BJD, when some people don't like the make up of other person, and says "uhm, i really don't like your make up, your doll seems to be neglected, ('cause some people has dolls and doesn't take a good care of it, and i really really feel like "why you spend all of that money to have a doll like that o_O", it's a waste of money...and time...)i know that it's not of my concern but i feel bad for that dolls u_u . And some people's reaction are really agressive o_O or offensive, or like "what did you say? i like what i do with my doll <_< is pretty like this" (and the doll has, i don't know, one eyebrow highter than the other x_x ....) and the opinion it's not offensive, it's constructive...

Well, i'm saving for a Crobidoll Lance...and when i have it, i'll be glad to receive constructive opinions. No matter if they're too hard for me (but not offensive or something like that)...i have to learn how to make a make up, how to clean, and etc. And there are a lot of sensitive people who lose that oportunity to become better and better...ó_ò it's really sad to see that.

In my case, I don't post in a threat if the doll is injured, or it has a bad (really BAD) make up, or clothes, or if it is neglected. It is best to avoid the mood of a sensitive person, to face an unnecessary fight....

PD: sorry for my bad english... i'm a spanish-speaker, but i try to do my best~

 

I did not receive any rude comments on my dolls.... but even if everyone says they are pretty, most people will tell its pretty to the person and tell their friends how it is not, so I dont really care of any comments people make xD

While I still like the good ones, you never know what people say in your back.... so you never know =P
But sometimes its better when they say its pretty and saying nothing xD

As I never really "seriously" showed them to anyone around me except my direct familly, I dont know what my friends would think.... for my family most of the time its only "Its a doll" comments so they dont really count XD

I see a lot of dolls that I dont like on here, but most of the time I just dont say anything, and as I dont really go commenting on photos in general I dont think it bothers anyone =P
If someone did ask me my opinion, I would tell them its pretty, most of the time thats what the person wants to hear, if they really really want my opinion then I would tell them what I think is a little weird, but I would never go and tell them I hate it, nor to anyone else =P

 

I only have a doll body at the moment, so I can't say as I've had too many comments about "my dolls" yet. But I have got comments.

My dad refers to the doll body as "Chucky" and from time to time asks if "Chucky is in his box" with theatrical shudders or coming in to make sure "Chucky hadn't got [me]". I can't remember any other particular commentary from my family on his arrival. One of my brothers refused to even comment on the doll at all - just observing that he had no head and that I was "weird" for collecting them. He did add, "But we're all a little weird, aren't we?"

I suppose if I'm in a sensitive mood, those comments might hurt my feelings, but in general I find them pretty funny.

I fully expect once I start piecing together my dollies there will be people who loathe them. There will be people who won't like the sculpts. I'm sure when I do my first face-ups and sewing projects, I'll have some learning to do and that there will be people who look and cringe or laugh or roll their eyes. I'm sure someone somewhere will mock what I've done.

But I'm kinda okay with that.

I'd, of course, much rather it wasn't said to my face/in a thread I created that wasn't "critique me please!" in nature. I'd very much prefer it wasn't someplace I could easily stumble upon it or in some sort of "lulz" site or blog. But there's always going to be that.

I'm an artist, so I've had my works critiqued in good and bad ways. Ways that were hurtful and upsetting and ways that just made me sort of sigh and ways that made me go, "oh, good point." or "dude, thanks! now I can fix that!".

And I will fully admit to finding photos from time to time of people's dolls and going, "Ouch, this person will need to practice (their face-ups, sewing, whatever)." or "This is a horrible sculpt." or "Could they at least have tried to take the photo in an appealing environment? Is that doggie poop in the background???" But it's not the sort of thing I'd say to someone's face/in their thread. It's not the sort of thing I'd want to be too specific about if I were commenting on it in other threads (as I wouldn't want to hurt the feelings of anyone). It's not even something I'd take to another not-even-doll-related forum to comment on under a different name. That sort of commentary - if made to anyone but myself - is reserved for one-on-one conversation.

Unless people ask for feedback/critique, I see no reason to comment if I can't say positive things.

 

In all walks of life, you will face rude people at some point. They will be rude to your face, they will be rude behind your backs, they will be rude about your race/appearance/status/character/preferences/etc. Personally, someone being rude about my dolls is a minor matter compared to everything else they could be rude/judgmental/unfair about.

Also, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Just saying. While I'm sure most of everyone here is nice, I kinda doubt that every single person here dissing those horrible rude/obnoxious/evil/scum-of-the-doll-universe people have never been rude/offensive before.

 

Rudeness, at least on DoA, is more often perceived than intended, IMHO. The doll community -- and the world at large -- would be a better place if everyone stopped obsessing about what others think and feel about the things that are dear to them. It so often leads to misunderstandings and hurt feelings where there should be none.

The best way to fight rudeness is to be your own person, and learn to develop enough armor that innocent barbs don't hurt you. Self-assurance is not a simple thing to learn, but it is far simpler than trying to make everyone in the world love you and agree with you. It will give you the wisdom to discern true rudeness from mere differences of opinion and poor wording, and the strength to tackle those cases head-on.

On the other side of the spectrum, I agree with LKJ that we should all be careful of throwing stones from glass houses. I am both shocked and amused by the number of users posting here about the horrors of rudeness who have been outrageously rude to other forum members themselves. Please, let's all be a little more concerned with what we can do to fix the problem in ourselves before we go parading with pitchforks or heaping the blame on others.

 

Well, no one has said anything to me YET, but I am going to my first meet in a little over a week (despite having at least one doll for over three years and being into the hobby for longer than that XD) and so there is always hope, right? Especially considering I don't have small enough brushes to finish my face-ups how I want to.

But oh well, right? It is to be expected, voiced or not, that at least someone out there is going to dislike my dolls. The way I style them, the face-ups I do, the wigs I've altered. I get enough compliments to make up for it I think! >.> Not that I NEED them... *foams*

 

I've only been to one doll meet, and taken a doll to 2 conventions, but no one said anything in any of those situations. Online as well, people have been very nice. If someone were to say something critical to me, (other than something meaningless such as "You like ____ company? Ewww") I'd try to use it to improve my faceups/photography/sewing/etc...

 

Not that I'm aware of, but if they did...oh well? *shrug* Pieces of resin don't have feelings, and mine aren't so fragile as to be deeply hurt by someone else's lack of tact.