Have you ever had another BJD collector say something rude about your dolls?

I dunno, possibly. I know my friend that also collects dolls has very different tastes than me so she'll tell me if she doesn't like them, but that's not being rude, she's just sharing an opinion. The rules are a bit different because we're friends though, it's not quite the same as having a stranger say something you don't like about your dolls. I've had someone say something rude about me... Honestly, though, it doesn't matter to me if someone in the doll community dislikes me or my dolls...I'm happy that I enjoy the hobby and I know quite a few very nice, interesting people. I'm the type of person who really won't say anything if it's not nice, though. Sure, I'll have my opinions that some dolls and sculpts horrify me, but I'd not say it to the owners. It seems unecessary to hurt someone's feelings by sharing an opinion that I know is abrasive and hurtful and not helpful at all. Constructive criticism is one thing but being overtly unkind is another for me; it's not something I can do. It's different for everyone how they perceive dolls, though, and it's also their choice how they choose to express it. How I do things isn't the only right way, it's just how I do it. If someone wants to express their distaste for your dolls, then you have to just take it in stride. Everyone is different, everyone expresses themselves differently. Don't get hurt over it, be secure in yourself and your dolls, and all will be well!

Edit: Also, if someone is being what you consider rude, then don't feel bad about speaking up if you so choose! You don't have to sit there and meekly take it if it honestly bothers you. Say something, start a fight if you really want. It's your right to not be dissed if you don't want to be.

tldr; Not by a stranger (a friend has expressed a difference in opinion about what sculpts I like, but we're friends, it's easier to insult each other but not be hurt) but I wouldn't care if someone else did.

 

^This.

And ^this.
Not that I'm the most self-assured person, but even if you're not, getting a thicker skin is possible without that. Or perhaps we shouldn't take this hobby so seriously. They are after all only dolls and in this world there are much worse things that can be said and done.

I don't remember any rude comment on my dolls apart from the fact that some think I spent an insane amount of money on them. But those are opinions. And I don't agree with them.

 

one time when at a dollconvention i did my first face-up (just messing around) and when i was finished some one said mean thinks a bout it

 

I don't hang out with other collectors, and everyone on the internet is generally positive or uninterested. Though I must say, I don't engage in the usual ridiculed behaviors (bad faceups, blurry photos, sock dresses), so that could be a contributing factor.

I'll echo the common sentiment and say: Art is not a place for the thin-skinned. If you're going to make art and show art, you had better be prepared to hear what others think of it. And sometimes being "honest" sounds rude if you're used to a lot of sugarcoating. More people in the doll hobby need to toughen up, I think. Well, not just the doll hobby, but we're talking about the doll hobby right here.

 

exactly! I also have some opinions about other dolls but I don't think i'm obligued to reveal our feeling in the public toward those dolls. Beauty is relative...

when i saw some face-up here, sometimes, i feel, oh! but i'm always able to see the positive side like lips, or eye shadow...etc, etc...I mean, my doll isn't perfect herself to others, so, why would I have to expect other's doll to be perfect according to me? Well, unless the person keeps pushing me to buy her/his doll, and now, that i'll speak frankly that her/his doll isn't my dream doll...If not? leave the owners with their own doll, whatever the doll looks like...

In real life, sometimes, we feel that this woman isn't so pretty like goddess but somehow, for other people from abroad, this woman is like a goddess. See what I'm talking about? Beauty is relative
Even so, this situation once made me a little bit worry if i'm going to have a meet up. We don't have many bjd lovers here but some people seemed so excited about meet up...Aside from uncomfortable feeling to bring the doll into the public place, I'm a little bit worried to meet situation with rude people...I can really strike back (and I know my level of rudeness if I don't control myself...hahaha...) or i just leave without saying anything and will never come again...

 

Not so much. What I was referring to was the ability to be rude without having to face someone in person, which is so much easier, and also a classic coward's actions.
But as one of my pals says, it is my own fault. A smart person doesn't engage with fools, haters, and mean people. The atmosphere created in that type of toxicity is deadly.
But I do agree with the "don't take it so seriously" as there is no point in taking every opinion to heart. You can't please everyone.

 

Lol, the only thing so far is that my brother (non doll person) said my wake up goldie looked like an underage sex slave that was kept severely drugged out so she would do whatever you wanted.

I'm actually secretly kind of a jerk sometimes, but I always keep my negative thoughts in my head. If I'm caught in an awkward situation with a doll I don't really like, I'll always find something positive to say about it no matter what I'm really thinking.

edit: Actually, I have a really weird sense of humor, so I wouldn't mind hearing what negative things people think about my dolls.

 

Huh. To be honest I probably wouldn't even remember if some one rudely commented on one of my dolls. I don't even know if some one has yet.

 

If it makes you feel better at all, I have never said anything on the internet (on any forum, fo lo, I am one of the people who resides on the forum you mentioned) that I would not happily say to someone's face. I'm sure that makes me a jerk in real life, but at least I'm a consistant one.

I do agree that the internet does make it easier for people to be mean, though, and that people who might otherwise say nothing do use the anonimity to voice things that could never otherwise say. But I also find that for the same reasons they find it easy, I find it easy not to pay attention to their insults. Which is good, becuase I have some dolls that are definately not popular with everyone!

 

Your friend gives good advice. Of course, one must be careful to identify who the true fools and mean people are. I always start with a mirror before I go on the attack, because no one likes a hypocrite.

 

I will say that everyone has different tastes.... I know I do not like the scar mods that I've seen on here a few have actually brought me to tears.. not cause they are done poorly i just cant see doing that to a doll. For me its painful to look at, that said i don't go commenting on the mods cause i know no matter how well i intend to be I would inevitably say something that some one might take offense at

 

Hmm, it's true about glass houses. I do worry about that a lot when I start getting into any argument (and see it a lot too, eeehhh) . There are plenty of older posts (not really on DoA though... lots of ooold hangouts) that I'm pretty embarrassed about, usually when I get really ticked off and didn't wait at least 24 hours before posting, haha. That was more middle-school/early high school XD .

But actually, for me on the internet I'm a lot more polite and patient than I would be in real life. A lot. The ability to step back from a conversation for a few hours, or even a day or so, and to retype scathing replies into civil ones, I take full advantage of them. My temper has never been sweet IRL, yeah? So if I'm saying anything even potentially rude on the 'net, it's 95% likely entirely intentional and has a specific cause which I could clearly elaborate on without regrets. But rarely I might post something as well-intentioned and neutral as possible, but someone gets offended anyway... then I just throw up my hands and stop bothering. I guess I'm kind of opposite, the anonymity thing never made me feel safe to be unrelentingly rude (but then, I also feel really bad when I choose the 'mean options' in Dragon Age and stuff XD ) .

As for not taking this particular issue so seriously because there are so many other more important things to care about... I've never liked when people say that. Not taking it so personally/seriously, that's sound advice, but talking about all the more serious things, that can be said about just about anything in the world, and, yeah, I guess a personal pet peeve =O .

ali

 

But why? To me, what anyone thinks about someone's doll is a very minor issue in the owner's life. If the owner is going to get very offended and worked up over such a thing, then life is going to be very, very difficult considering the myriad ways one can be offended outside the doll hobby. Which is why not taking someone else's opinion on a doll personally/seriously is a good idea.

 

I occasionally want to just headdesk at some of the things people share on this forum -I think containing all the "negativity" on another one is a good thing, because then if you don't want to hear it, you just stay away, and if you want to learn from mistakes (yours or someone else's,) you can easily look there and see, "when executing my brilliant idea, I should avoid this, that, and the other thing."

Nobody's said anything mean about my doll yet save my little brother, who doesn't count because he was just being a little brother. I ascribe this less to the fact that MY DOLLS ARE AWESOME* and more to the fact that I don't post pictures unless my dolls are properly clothed, wigged, and face-up'ed. Two of the three may have company faceups, and thus be rather...boring, but my art skills stop at Ed Emberly.

I take pride in making sure that my dolls look** like I take care of them, and that they are treated like the ridiculously expensive toys they are. I find most of the rudeness I see in this hobby being less "YOUR DOLL IS A GAY HOOKER" and more "why don't you wait until you can post a picture you're proud of instead of acknowledging that you did a bad job and asking forgiveness for it." (Forgiveness as distinct from critique; in fact, I assume unless it's not in the critique forum, the poster does not want critique.) with a side order of "couldn't you have practiced that permanent mod on something a little less...three figures?"

*CAPS OF SARCASM
**By "look," I mean "in public," as opposed to now: one's naked, one's bald and wearing only a skirt with no hem, and one's rocking the see-through kimono look.

 

JUST the other day I was on gaiaonline and another collector flay out said "Mine is better" with a link t her personal site with pics of her boy. I was appalled! Then she had the nerve to say she said it because she spends so much time and effort on her face-ups and clothes, insinuating that I don't. Oh I was furious.

 

ah yes this^ I've ran into a few of these. Normally if theres a doll not to my taste I politely find something about it to say is nice, like an outfit or something. Yet somehow people still blow up over the lack of omg squee.

I have run into quite a few rude people. Normally I just shrug because my dolls are to please me and no one else. Depending how nasty the person's being I do occasionally whip out a snarky comment.

I realize people will have different tastes, but there is no excuse to be excetionally rude. It doesn't matter if you're a friend or complete stranger. If you're being an ass I'm not gonna sit there and take it.

 

I can't remember any rude comments towards my dolls. And I usually tend to avoid commenting on badly done face-ups or unprofessional modifications, even if I do get "oh, you poor thing..." thought going in my head towards the doll on photos. But there, I usually just feel sorry for the doll, and not at all interested in insulting it.

 

I've not had anything rude said (at least to my face or where I can see it, so who cares?) about my dolls.

I have heard plenty of things critical of dolls I have chosen stated in general about the company, sculpt, style, and so on, but none of these comments were directed personally at me, so I can't really bring myself to get worked up about it. They're as entitled to their opinion as I am to mine.

 

Does my best friend's insistence that Yoru is too short count? =P

I haven't had any rude encounters with any doll owners, actually. Most people are just interested in him and the differences between him and their dolls. Even when Yoru was wearing my ridiculous attempt at a first faceup people online were nothing but encouraging. But then I haven't taken him around any other hardcore doll owners.^_^; We'll see what my feelings are after the local anime convention...

 

personally, I do not understand why people should be so "sensitive" about this issue. This issue has been brought up in various forms etc previously.

I do not see this as a Doll only issue.

BJD is a fragment of our life and anything that applies to anything else in life also apply to this BJD hobby. I am pretty sure everyone has encountered "negative" (meaning the ones that are not agreeable with you) in your life.

My sisters and I do not share our taste in men etc I get that kind "oh he is ugly why do you even like him" blah all the time.

I am born and raised in Asia, there are many things I eat (and love to eat) which many on this forum will look and tell me it looks "nasty".

My sister only like my DOD Ducan and she would tell me that only that doll is worthy and the rest are butt ugly and why did I bother with them.

I do feel that some people have the wrong expectation - and their "eat the cake and McD all the time and have a size 0 figure" mentality is not realistic.

Just with rest of your life, one will get loads of information and comments etc, how one interprets them and do with them is up to your own discretion.

People can hear and understand the same sentence differently. Is every comment you get in life worthy ?? probably not.

I do not like every word I hear to heart. Whether the comment is rude or not is for me to decide.

For a person who has COMPLETELY different taste than me to tell me that they do not like my doll and he is Fugly. It would actually make me feel like "Alright" inside LOL

It is bad enough that my dolls need to PLEASE me and make me happy. Can you imagine how stressed they would be IF they HAVE to please everyone on this planet??


I am happy that people do not always like the same thing. Especially between me and my close friends, siblings etc. Why? because if they like the same (food, dolls, etc) that mean I have to share. God knows I would not want that.

It is bad enough that my sister LOVES one of my puppet and she is consistently wanting to kidnap him to Chicago. I rather she thinks the rest of my collection are all butt ugly LOL LOL