Have you ever had another BJD collector say something rude about your dolls?

No. And I've been going to tons of meetups since 2005 and have posted plenty of photos on DoA.

I'm frankly surprised that people make comments like that. Are they young and just not socialized well??? I just can't imagine someone being rude like that, although I know it happens.

I sometimes wonder if people are just mistaking their meanings and taking offense, but I know some people are just naturally obnoxious, so I guess I shouldn't be so surprised at reports of people behaving like that. I've seen some posts in the past on DoA that were just obnoxious like that. Those people don't last long on DoA, thankfully. For a while there were some who were all upset that they couldn't just be trolls and many went off to found another site--that is probably dead by now, at least I hope so. Anyway, who needs that behavior? People think they can say whatever they like "because it's how they really feel"-- and they CAN, but the rest of us don't have to put up with it.

I hope people will call people on that kind of behavior. Like, tell them, "Wow, that was rude!"

I know it's not easy to do. I'd be stunned and too annoyed to think of what to say, probably. But it's really not good for those folk to act like that--for their own good. Really, it's a turn-off for most people and they will end up with a lot of people not wanting to spend any time with them. They really need to learn to grow up and not spout off at the mouth like a little kid who doesn't know any better.

Some people are so insecure that they need to tear other stuff down in order to feel better about themselves. That's just life--and very sad.

Basically, in a social situation, (on a forum or in person), people need to learn to act like a grown up and think about how they are interacting with others and not just spew their bad day out on everyone. We don't need that. Go and get a friend you can unload that crap on. Or go blog about it somewhere else and keep it non-personal. But when dealing with others, try and keep things positive and civil. Especially HERE. These are just DOLLS, something to ENJOY, not anything that is life or death. There is no need to try and get on a high horse and boss people around to your way of thinking! Relax and be nice and enjoy. No one is forcing anyone to look at stuff they don't like... Just don't click on those posts or move on to another doll to look at!

----

ok... people who worry about their boy being called a girl... they need to get over that. 'cause sometimes I'll forget (I have a bad memory!) and sometimes it really IS hard to tell. geesh. don't get so sensitive! I don't care if people think my boys are girls. look, I'll even forget and get some of the he/she stuff wrong with people, too. again... bad memory and it's not always easy to tell. please give some of us a break. we don't always mean to offend about stuff like that... yes, I'd be annoyed if someone called me a guy, but I'd understand if they were making a mistake and not trying to be really offensive. That's different than calling me or my doll ugly or saying they hate the sculpt or something like that.

ALSO... comments in general said on the internet, not specifically about your doll... People have to let that go, too. People can say they don't like a particular company's dolls. That's their opinion, and really, not that rude when not talking about an owner's doll. Heck, I even feel that way about some companies' style even when I own one of their dolls! I can generally not like their sculpts but still fall for a particular one. BUT I won't go on and on about the negativity! That is just silly and annoying to everyone else. And, really, why should I have a big problem with it? (some people obviously DO have a problem... and that is really sad, but people are people). Hating on ANYTHING that isn't deserving of hate is not ... nice or healthy or polite, really. But general comments--people need to relax a bit more about those!

People who are offended at NOT getting nice comments... They need to get over that, too. Please... we aren't here to make up for your lack of love in some other part of your life. (And this is said not as a personal attack, just in general!!! So don't anyone get all offended because I'm not talking about YOU even if you resemble that!)

We all need to grow up a bit on both sides of this issue, I think.

So, basically, I am with those who say that this is life and we just need to not pay attention to some people... (and it's too bad those people are inflicting their bad manners and insecurity and poor socialization on other people).

 

So, I don't think there is another thread for this. I looked around but didn't find one.

I was notified today that a picture of one of my dolls had been found by a fellow doll group member on a tumblr blog. This blog was created to make fun of people's dolls.

So, I'm wondering,

What should you do if something like this happens?
I got the picture removed. Then, I went to my DA account, which I'm pretty sure is where they got it, and made it very clear that my photos cannot be used without my permission.

How would you feel if this happened to you?
When I saw my doll in the blog, I was so upset. The comment put with it was how the poster didn't like my doll's eyelashes. WHAT??? Seriously???? I'm all for people having a personal opinion, but when you are just doing something to make fun of others, you're not being helpful, you're being mean.

 

That tends to be the nature of tumblr. For some reason it just seems to be "okay" to be mean and nasty there.

 

I'm a little shocked by some of the 'that's so naive' response to assuming hobbyists could all be nice to each other-- Yes, it's perhaps naive to think any sizable group of people could always be civil, but...

There is a WORLD of options open between 'sharing the same tastes' and 'insulting someone', and I keep seeing responses where people seem to be saying 'Not everyone in the hobby has the same tastes in dolls, so of course people will say insulting things about the dolls they don't like'.

I'm sure that's not everyone's intent, that's just how it comes across in some of the wording, and... I have to say, I'd rather be naive than assume that minor differences mean carte blanche to be a jerk.

As far as I know, no one's said anything rude about my dolls. They don't always get much attention-- I don't take the best photographs, or that many of them, and everyone could use a fresh faceup (or a first one), so... maybe the fact that they don't get a lot of visibility means they don't get much negative attention either. Which is fine by me... I'm sure I'd be initially hurt if someone said something mean about something I love, but unless it was a surprising betrayal from someone I'd put some amount of trust in, it wouldn't bother me for very long. After all, people have said mean things about me myself, and I'm still standing.

=^__^=
Anneko

 

I'm a horribly sensitive person. My dolls aren't perfect. I know things have been said about my collection, and I'm sure things are still being said about them behind my back at times. But you know what? I've just come to not care. It's taken me a long time to get to this point, but now that I'm here, I enjoy the hobby far more. I like my dolls the way they are, and if others don't - well, they can just suck it. It might be hard to do, and I'd be the last to say it's easy to do - but it's possible.

Not to mention, I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I said I never looked at the odd 'interesting' doll here and there and done a facepalm. So who am I to judge what people say about my crew? I'm pretty sure if most of us sat back and thought of it, I'm sure there's been at least one doll we've seen that just made us shake our heads and ask, "Why???" I know I'm guilty on far more than one occasion. EDIT: But I don't say it to their face. I keep it to myself.

 

I have had a few say that my dolls are not pretty and all. I belive everyone has the right to there opion but I was taught not to say anything if you can't say somthing nice. We all work hard on are dolls to get them how we want them to look. IF someone else does not like it well then so be it Its what I think not what they think. I always try very hard to to be rude I have had to say no thank you I do not want to look at doll X only because it was a highly gore modded doll and I am not fond of them nothing wrong with them. Just a little gore is ok but I just can't do really highly modded gore. I am very polite and just say no thank you and go on about my way so other can look at the doll.

 

Not that I know of! I've gotten the occasional person mistaking my boy for a girl, which doesn't bother me at all. haha Most of the boy dolls I've owned looked girly. I don't mind if people don't like my doll because everyone's different. I've been an artist all my life so I'm used to people saying they hate some of my art, and that's fine!

In general I think the rule of 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it' is a pretty good one, particularly if you're at a meet. It's not being naive, it's showing that you're respectful.

 

I have only ever been told that the wig for one of my dolls was horrible. Which in respect it was a fur wig (I bought not made) and the sewing was kindof really screwed up but it still looked pretty good to me.

But no matter I love the color and style of wig and just agreed to disagree with her. (Ironically I just found a new wig for the said doll that I like even better) She also though is a friend and I do value other peoples opinion when it is something that I actually am having a hard time fixing or that I didn't notice that needs fixed.

However I just also know that it is my doll and what I like for it is all that matters. XD

Other then that I have not had any rude comments or anything made I normal take things with a grain of salt, it is just an opinion and if they lack the tact to say it in an appropriate way then that is their fault not mine, so why bother getting upset about it.

 

Only once (it was online with a picture not in person), though it wasn't a situation where they were trying to be insulting, and they found something nice to say as well even though they didn't like his sculpt -- they were just giving their opinion. Was it necessary for them to include the negative bit? Eh, no, not really. To be honest, it wasn't the time or place for it, and they probably should've kept it to themselves. However, sometimes you can tell that the person really didn't mean anything by it, and there was no sense in getting worked up over something so small. I have much less tolerance for outright meanness or being accidentally rude in such an over the top way that you wonder what planet the other person is from (though I find that outerspace people are usually pretty easy to laugh off). Luckily, most interactions with other hobbyists that I've had have been very pleasant and low on drama -- much nicer and calmer than other hobbies I've been in.

 

I'm honestly surprised so many people don't seem to understand there are sooo many rude people in the BJD hobby. I've never had anyone personally belittle or harass me over my dolls, but I know several people who have had people 'suggest they should buy the doll from them because the doll is not being taken care of properly'.
If anything, I've had one person (not from DOA) tell me how one of my dolls is from a really bad company and I shouldn't of bought him but didn't tell me they didn't like him.
I have seen a lot of rude people on DOA though. If you don't like something there is a back button, as I always say.

 

Nope, and if they did they would soon find their own darling piece of resin shoved down their throat. I'm quite happy to let people know when their behaviour is, shall we say, completely unnecessary. It simply is NOT NECESSARY to be horrible about someone else's dolls, and if it is, then that person has much bigger problems than being confronted with a piece of resin they don't like. That's why I can't understand the raison d'etre of certain other doll-based forums where the main point is simply to be rude. Really, get a life.

Of course, people are going to have different opinions about different things- that's one of the most fun things about this hobby, its diversity. Of course you're not going to think every faceup is perfectly executed, or every sculpt is beautiful, or every doll company is fabulous, etc. There's going to be different perceptions, and it's OK to voice them in a reasonable, calm, friendly way. There's a big difference between saying "I don't like doll company X because the sculpts aren't to my taste" and saying "OMG why did you buy that fugly doll, you must be a moron." Just as there's a difference between saying "I think you could improve on your technique when painting eyebrows" and "your doll looks as if it has two slugs sitting on its face".

Rudeness is not necessary at all and says more about the person saying it than the doll in question. As Philip Larkin put it, "we should be careful/ Of each other, we should be kind/ While there is still time."

 

It's not a matter of not understanding it -- a lot of people just don't experience a lot of rudeness. I would say more people have positive interactions than negative ones. That, of course, doesn't mean it never happens -- all groups of people will end up with some meanies and some who simply lack social skills. However, that doesn't mean the problem is rampant, either. You may have had some bad luck, and I am sorry about that -- it does suck. But when you consider how many people use this message board, it really is an overall well behaved place.

There are rumors that get circulated around about how this hobby is full of elitists and rude people, etc etc, but I've never seen that substantiated out side of a few unfortunate interactions here and there. I use DoA a lot, and I've been on a few other boards in the past (though not much recently, I admit) and go to a lot of doll meetups and talk to doll people I see at cons, and the really nasty stuff has always been few and far between for me. From what I hear other people say, I know that my experience is not an out of the ordinary one.

It is also true that if you expect that people will be unkind to you, it is easy to read that into everything that people do and post (especially considering that tone does not always come across on the internet). If you look for it hard enough, you will find it. If you go in with a more positive less defensive mindset, then you will tend to notice more of the positive stuff that is going on around you. That is not to say that you haven't experienced some genuine crappyness from people, just that it may not be as wide spread as you think that it is.

 

I've never had a "doll person" be rude to my face, though I wouldn't be shocked if it had happened behind my back (though that might just be the pessimist in me shining through). I'd probably be upset and hurt, depending on what they were saying, or just blow it off as someone whining because they could. Some people get nasty just because they can, but I like to tell myself most people simply don't realize how inconsiderate they're being.

 

Ive never met another bjd collector before(but I think I might have made an influence on a friend). Im not sure how I would react if I met someone who was saying rude things about my doll though, knowing me Id probably shed a few tears but move on pretty quickly, at least right now when I havent done that much to my doll as far as customizing goes. If Id done a face-up, for example, that someone was rude about, that would hurt since it's something Ive actually made.

Im not the kind of person to backfire, so I dont think Id say something rude back. If I was in a bad mood I might counter with a "...and yours is nice? Huh?" but I always feel so bad when I do afterwards, it's not worth it. If I dont like someones doll, I simply dont say anything or look at the things I like about the doll, like a shirt or a wig. Most of the time I can see something beautiful in almost every doll (even those that I actually find creepy) and how that doll is beautiful to the owner, and that makes the doll beautiful even though I might not like its looks n_n

 

I had someone tell me they didn't like any dolls from my doll's company, after I had told them where he was from...because they asked. I found that kind of rude, said to my face. Had I stumbled across it on the nets I'd most likely not even noticed. We're all entitled to like what we like, and I know not everyone is going to like my dolls. In person it was impossible to ignore (which is why I still remember it even though it was several years ago and I don't even remember the persons name - they were visiting, not local), and myself and the few others who witnessed it still marvel at that incident years later XD

 

The last person who said my doll was ugly, got a punch in the nose!
Well not really. Nobody has said anything to my face but my dolls are kind of amateur- ish...
So maybe people have thought something negative..shrugs..
I just don't have the talent for face-up and dressing them that some people have.
And my photo skills really suck.
But they are my dolls and I love them, so it wouldn't bother me what others think.

 

I've been on Tumblr, and from what I'd encountered, I saw just the opposite. Of course, there's always a chance you run into the wrong set of people, but I used to socialize with a number of BJD hobbyists and they were all very nice people. I even had an instance where I shared a link to one of Dollmore's newer dolls (at the time), and another girl ended up buying one because she clicked on the link and saw the doll.

But as always, it's the internet. There will be nice people. There will be mean people. There will be people who don't know how to behave. Don't let a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch.

 

Wow. O haven't had much interaction at all with other bjd owners yet, do I've been spared.

Regarding people telling you your doll is ugly... Why would they bother? It's an issue of taste and everyone's taste it's different. I fail to see how anyone can be conceited enough that their taste it's absolute. I'm sure there will be times I see a doll I don't like, but I'll probably shrug and keep right on with my life.

I'm more disturbed by people who would tell you how to "fix" your doll. Asking for opinion an advice is one thing. Offering this "advice" without being asked is the height of conceit. That would really irritate me. I have other hobbies too, and I've encountered similar situations. It irritates me to no end. It's one thing to be into your hobby. It's another to be a self-professed expert that acts like a total douche. Though I've mostly seen guys with this problem though.

On a related note, I was watching bjd videos on YouTube. One was a 3 part video from a bjd panel in some con (anime?) somewhere. A lady was giving a talk about bjds and their history. She had a tiny detail of info wrong at one point, and some dude in the audience corrected her. Then he keeps talking, and she hands over HER panel to this guy. He proceeds to go on about owning something like 27 dollfies, how he is a volks representative because of it, how he got the version 3 prototype of a body before anyone else, and how rare an expensive the doll he brought that day was.

WTF???

I know it's not a direct insult, but I think it was tremendously disrespectful to the poor lady and one of the rudest things I've ever seen short of Kanye West famous gaffe.

 

I went to a few meetups in the past, there is always going to be some snobby person but most people just keep any negitive opinions to themselves. Which Im glad about. You don't have to like someone's doll but there is no need to down them and ruin the meet up for them and maybe even make them feel bad about their doll.

If someone said it to me, I wouldn't give a damn.
I got into this hobby for what I like. Im not here to please anyone.
I would most likely just walk away and continue to have a fun time.
I know from being in the YouTube hobby you'll always have critics. But if you're happy and enjoy your dolls what other people have to say about them doesn't matter and it shouldn't bother you. Life goes on.

 

Vycem you wouldn't happen to have the link for the video would you? I'm hosting a panel this year and would be super pissed if some one did that to me