Have you ever had another BJD collector say something rude about your dolls?

YES!!! THIS!!!

It's the people who refuse to employ ANY sort of filter on their own thoughts before they "share" them that baffle me. No, you don't have to like x company's dolls or boys wearing dresses, or ... what else ... amateur "I'm just beginning to learn" faceups or sock dresses. But holding back your disdain just a bit so as to be at least a little mindful of other peoples' experiences is NOT a violation of your freedom of speech.

It's called civility. Shares the same root as "civilization," don't you know. It's how we behave in a civilized society, where my right to free speech extends just to the space where it may interfere with yours -- and vice versa.

***

And to answer the original question - I had one slamdunk comment made to me once, that hit me in the gut like a baseball bat. This was from a person who was one of the best female friends I've ever had in this lifetime, and it concerned the laborious first-attempt faceup I'd just done.

The faceup was absolutely hideous.

And I did, after she reassured me that she'd had no way to know it was MY faceup work (I had neglected to mention that, dope that I was) -- and after having a chance to take several long cleansing breaths and so on -- have an excellent laugh about the whole thing and look at my work with a less-overly-sensitive eye. It turned out to be a great learning experience in the end, one that made me realize I needed lots more practice. Wish I hadn't sold that head, though; it was a Kaye Wiggs Maya.

The point in sharing the story, however, is this: The person who inadvertently insulted my mad faceupping skillz would *never* have said so in those terms had she known. She would have said something like "I wonder if she'd look less surprised if the eyebrows were lower," or something along those lines, much more neutral. It wouldn't have cost her anything to throttle down the level of snark we used *privately, between ourselves* to giggle over similarly less-successful faceups, and the same point would have been made.

And that's my big beef with regards to this issue, which comes up frequently. The folks who are saying that there aren't many mean people in the hobby are probably right about the posters' intentions; they're not being deliberately mean and are lovely people in person. But unless you know every one of your potential audience that well, words you use may well cause hurt and confusion, unnecessary in a hobby that we take part in for enjoyment.

It only takes a moment of thought, really, and costs you nothing more than that moment, to save a sensitive soul inadvertent pain. (And more neutrally-stated opinions may result in an "aha!" moment of learning for that sensitive soul. Bonus.)

 

I can't understand why someone would want to offend another hobbyist by isulting theire doll?!?! That's just stupid. If you don't like someones doll, it might very well be that that person thinks exactly the same way about your doll and commenting in a negative way you are just making an idiot of yourself.
Of course there are rude people inside any hobby, but I think it would be better if they would just shut theire mouths. Of course I'm not saying that you should love every single doll and never think anything bad about them, but it's a different thing to THINK then to actually SAY these things out loud. It just shows how immature some people can be.

Luckily I have never had anyone say anything bad about my dolls. And if I had, you can bet, I would say something back. I mean to some people these dolls are almost like babies that you take care, do theire clothes, face-up and everything. You certainly don't need anyone commenting those ihan a bad way. Giving critique is completely different from being nasty.

But overall I feel that people in general are quite nice and they give critique that is needed to become better. At least I have never had any bad comments in those forums I am currently in. It might be due to the fact that they are quite small, at least when comparing to DOA.

 

Sure Nekomode13, it's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMVQzteiRMI

The guy corrects her early on when she's going over the history portion, but around the 6 minute mark he takes over for a few minutes. She knows him, and is nice enough to clap and let him take over - though she's the only one that claps. He then proceeds to waste time.

 

thanks Vycem

 

I had know really rude person who doesn't like Korea company bdj i understand every people has different type but this person was really rude to another collector

 

no but I'm sure that I'll have something like that happen someday
I would just ignore the person (if I was in a particularly bad mood that day I'd probably say the same thing about them (not their doll because he/she doesn't deserve it))

even if I thought that I wouldn't say it to anyone, that's just mean

 

all of my dolls got rude comments one way or the other, though they all dressed properly, nicely wigged, and their faceups is fabulous, but people's natrual instinct is to say rude things to my dolls, the most funny one was once a pre bjd collector says the shape of my doll's face reminds her of ugly feet

 

I got told on a video that my first doll wasn't an actual BJD and this person repeatedly harassed me even going as far as to say: "If you want an obitsu go buy a liv doll." And when I went to her channel this know it all was some ten year old pretending to be twenty. I deleted her comments but they still stung...I was new to the hobby and honestly I could never EVER say something bad about someone elses doll. Even if I personally find some sculpts not so...Eye appealing or some modifications as downright disgusting I would never tell someone that because it's one: Not my doll. two: Someoen worked hard to make it/face up/mod it. three: It's like insulting someone's baby.

Yes I have my thoughts and my opinions but I would never voice rude ones out loud instead of that I'd say "Wow I can see a lot of hard work was done that's really impressive." Because whilst I'm not a fan of things like gore mods I can appreciate the work that went into it and the obvious skill that took to get it to look right.

I can respect that.

 

There are plenty of people in the world who have little to no brain to mouth filter so there really isn't much of a surprise that people are rude about the dolls, choices and opinions of others in this hobby...but it still doesn't mean it's acceptable. Personally, I might make comments on what I like or don't like about a company's new doll concept / sculpt etc but I would never voice an opinion of another owner's doll unless it was to compliment in some way. I happily know when to keep my mouth politely shut, and there are others I wish would know to do the same.

 

Man they should mind their own beeswax but stating opinions doesn't have to be rude. /two cents