Have's and Have-Not's?

1) How do you react when you see an outfit, accessory or doll you absolutely love and want to have? In your opinon, what are the rights and wrongs when reacting to someone else's BJD-related possessions?
If I see something that is just what I'm looking for I will contact the owner for details on where they found it. I won't be enquiring on whether I could purchase their doll/outfit/accessory, but where they found theirs. If the doll/outfit/accessory is limited, I'll find out the company name and start searching eBay, the Marketplace here or Y!J. I don't see any problem with contacting someone to say that what they have is awesome and could they please help you locate one for yourself. I do see problems with begging letters and entitlement though, I think that's very rude and harshes on someone else's squee. We're all entitled to post pictures of our dolls and their stuff without other people laying on the guilt or entitlement.

2) Have you ever resented someone personally for their BJD-related possessions? In your opinion, is it possible for people to resent someone personally for the items they have?
No. I've told someone I'm jealous of x doll in their collection, but that's mock jealousy. They know I just mean it as a compliment and I don't lay it on thickly either, nothing can kill a pleasant conversation between collectors faster than one person thinking the other is out to get their items. I think MadamMauMau's Sard, Lilu, is one of the most gorgeous pieces of resin ever made, he is by far my favourite Sard...but I could have bought my own Sard when I had the chance and I passed on that opportunity. Rather than waste time by having regrets, I'm just pleased that I can see pictures of Lilu. I'm not motivated enough by the idea of having a Sard of my own that I would want to save up and buy one and I like MMM far too much as a person to sour a potential friendship with jealousy (over a doll, of all things!), so I'm just happy that Lilu exists and I can see pictures of him. That's more than enough Sard for me!

Of course it is possible for someone to resent someone else over the items they have, it happens all the time, I just feel very strongly that it's pointless and can ruin your experience of the hobby. If you wish you had a certain doll and it is unavailable, don't waste your energy on hating the people who do have the doll you love. PM them, ask them how they found theirs, because that may give you a clue on how to obtain one for yourself. Not everyone has their limited or discontinued dolls direct from the company and you may grab yourself a bargain on the Marketplace or Japanese auction sites.

3) Is elitism a myth or a reality of the hobby? Is the concept of "elitism" created by the "Have's" or the "Have-Not's" or a combination of both and does it extend to everyone or a few people in the hobby?
Elitism isn't a myth, but it's a heck of a lot rarer than most people think. We're all "Haves" here, the dolls are luxuries, and no one is the poor relation. I have found that people tend to believe that their doll choices affect how other people will relate to them in the hobby, but this belief is unfounded. To put it quite bluntly, the vast majority of doll owners don't care what other people do with their dolls, we are just happy if you're happy. I don't particularly care which companies someone buys from or which dolls they choose, your doll choices just don't affect me, and my doll choices should not affect you. If someone is losing sleep at night because someone else is choosing dolls in such a way that it annoys them, it says more about their issues than yours

4) Does the hobby itself even have "Have's" and "Have-Nots"? Or is it a matter of being happy with what one has versus what one wishes he/she had?
The hobby doesn't really have "Haves" and "Have-Nots", it just has people who believe they are poor relations. Some people see the dolls that other people have and wish they had them, which then grows into a belief that their dolls are inferior, which then grows into believing that there are elitists hiding behind every lamp post, which is plainly untrue

The dolls are all expensive and non-essential. The fact that someone can afford one (whether by buying outright or layaway), means they're a "Have". To a certain extent, we all need to learn to be happy with what we have, because the fact that we have the dolls at all means we have something Different people want different things out of the hobby too. This hobby is as customisable as a burger, you can have it your way! I like to dress my dolls in a certain way, I like my dolls to wear certain wigs, other people may prefer to spend more money on eyes, accessories or photographic equipment than doll clothes. Others still may prefer to buy new dolls with their money and clothe them inexpensively. As long as you're happy with your hobby, that's all that counts since you're the one spending the cash!

 

1) How do you react when you see an outfit, accessory or doll you absolutely love and want to have? In your opinion, what are the rights and wrongs when reacting to someone else's BJD-related possessions?

I smile and exclaim over it, probably let them know how much I've liked that particular doll/outfit/costume. I'm not really sure there is a wrong way unless the other person starts sulking about not having it. I've seen a lot of things I would really like to own, but mostly I feel giddy seeing it in real life. The first time I saw a Fer I thought I'd squee myself to death. It just affirmed that I needed to save up for one and find the perfect color.

2) Have you ever resented someone personally for their BJD-related possessions? In your opinion, is it possible for people to resent someone personally for the items they have?

Nope! I never have. I want a Crobidoll Yeon-ho, and many people have them. I look at their pictures and comment and know that someday I'll have one too. But, I'm 25 and I know well enough that resenting someone isn't going to get me what I want. It is possible, I've seen it happen, but I don't work that way.

3) Is elitism a myth or a reality of the hobby? Is the concept of "elitism" created by the "Have's" or the "Have-Not's" or a combination of both and does it extend to everyone or a few people in the hobby?

Sure elitism is in this hobby--it's in every hobby, but do we really need to create more friction by adding labels like the Have's and Have Not's to people? It reminds me of the Sneetches.

If someone doesn't like my dolls and extends that to me personally because my dolls aren't "good enough" for whatever reason, it's a good indication that I probably wouldn't want to be in any sort of friendship with that person. The best thing to do in that case is ignore each other and go on enjoying the hobby in separate ways.

This being said, I haven't encountered any elitism at all, personally; not at any meet-ups I've been to or personally on the board either. Everyone I've met and spoken with has been very kind. No one has said, or given off the impression of, "Oh, you don't have a Volks? Pshaw, peasant, get out of my breathing space." I have no complaints about elitism, personally.


4) Does the hobby itself even have "Have's" and "Have-Nots"? Or is it a matter of being happy with what one has versus what one wishes he/she had?

I think it's a matter of being happy with what you haveand how you feel about the matter. If you feel you're a Have-Not, it's going to eat at you, and you're not going to feel good about your dolls or your hobby. And isn't the entire point of any hobby to enjoy yourself?Feeling bitter or upset that you aren't a "Have" is going to sour your experience with anything you do or buy with your doll.

 

Debate Questions:

1) How do you react when you see an outfit, accessory or doll you absolutely love and want to have? In your opinon, what are the rights and wrongs when reacting to someone else's BJD-related possessions? Sometimes I can think of nothing else other than doing whatever it takes to own the doll or accessory. It's like an obsession. But with time, I calm down and the feeling gets better...it's less of a driving force.

2) Have you ever resented someone personally for their BJD-related possessions? In your opinion, is it possible for people to resent someone personally for the items they have? I get envious, sure. But I've never really resented anyone for their expansive BJD collection & accessories.

3) Is elitism a myth or a reality of the hobby? Is the concept of "elitism" created by the "Have's" or the "Have-Not's" or a combination of both and does it extend to everyone or a few people in the hobby? I think that there is always a way to afford something that you really desire. It's all about prioritizing.

4) Does the hobby itself even have "Have's" and "Have-Nots"? Or is it a matter of being happy with what one has versus what one wishes he/she had? I think it's more a matter of being happy with what you have...because you can always find a way to afford what you really want.

At this moment, I only have one tiny BJD...but I am planning to put another on layaway in the immediate future.

 

1) How do you react when you see an outfit, accessory or doll you absolutely love and want to have? In your opinon, what are the rights and wrongs when reacting to someone else's BJD-related possessions?
I whine at my friend on MSN, and maybe my mom who doesn't care lol. Depending on WHO owns the dolls I might tease and say I'm jealous or envious but I only comment if I have nice things to say. I always like to let people know I feel lucky to see the doll/oufit they have and am grateful they share so I can enjoy it too via the pictures.

2) Have you ever resented someone personally for their BJD-related possessions? In your opinion, is it possible for people to resent someone personally for the items they have?
Resent? I have no reason to resent someone over a doll. Unless they were super cut throat and did something cruel to me or someone else to get it. In which case they're just a jerk in general and its less about the posession and more about attitude. Maybe some people can be... I have no idea.

3) Is elitism a myth or a reality of the hobby? Is the concept of "elitism" created by the "Have's" or the "Have-Not's" or a combination of both and does it extend to everyone or a few people in the hobby?
I think in any hobby there will be some people who think that way. It's all in the mind of the beholder in my opinion. So some people have the DollHeart Fer and some dont? Some of the people who want it and dont may feel like 'Have-Nots' while others will just deal with it by sharing in others joy and keep looking without that kind of view. I may love a few SOOM monthly dolls but I certainly dont feel like a Have-Not because I dont own them... Time/hard work would get them for me.

4) Does the hobby itself even have "Have's" and "Have-Nots"? Or is it a matter of being happy with what one has versus what one wishes he/she had?
I think it's being happy with what you have vs what you'd like to have. Some others may think lowly of people for not owning certain things but they clearly have some kind of issue with themself they need to work out if they feel the need to look at things like that.

 

Debate Questions:

1) How do you react when you see an outfit, accessory or doll you absolutely love and want to have? In your opinon, what are the rights and wrongs when reacting to someone else's BJD-related possessions?

When I see a doll I want so badly to have, or an accessory, usually I may ask about it for example "Did you make those clothes?" or "Awesome Duds! Anywhere You know I can get them?" The way I see it is it is okay to inquire about accessories when it comes to a doll though I would never ask for someones doll or try to buy it off them, If I like it I might choose parts of the doll that I might want for another doll, however I would never replicate a doll someone has, the way I see it the dolls have their own personalities and even if I would love that specific doll, replicating it would not make the doll have the same inside, the same personality, it would be a wolf in sheep's skin.

2) Have you ever resented someone personally for their BJD-related possessions? In your opinion, is it possible for people to resent someone personally for the items they have?

Sure, I have felt a bit jealous, but it's more like a 'Oooo I would like to have that someday' Most the time I will not chase the item or doll unless it really sparks my attention, for example, I REALLY love this one doll on Deviant art, he is very beautiful, and I really appreciate his face, I love him, but I will probably never try and get that face. On the other hand, I saw a freshly unboxed Iplehouse Evan when I first started looking into BJDs I did not resent or hate that person, I just know, and still know that I myself will get an Iplehouse Evan someday, I love the doll itself.

3) Is elitism a myth or a reality of the hobby? Is the concept of "elitism" created by the "Have's" or the "Have-Not's" or a combination of both and does it extend to everyone or a few people in the hobby?

My understanding of the Doll world is that pretty much everyone loves their ball joint dolls, some love them a lot and some love them less, some have enough love for a lot of dolls and some have a lot of love for one doll, but no matter what, I think that the doll owners are always going to be different, I'm sure some people want to show off that they have every limited edition model but that really is their own agenda.

4) Does the hobby itself even have "Have's" and "Have-Nots"? Or is it a matter of being happy with what one has versus what one wishes he/she had?

I think that the hobby of collecting and caring for BJDs is an off and on sort of thing. Some people are also always 'On' haha. I think that people will buy the doll or dolls they fall in love with, whether it be now or later. Like I said earlier, I will always love Iplehouse Evan, and I truly believe someday I will purchase an Evan, for now though I am happy with who i have, and sure, one or two dolls might come up before I buy Evan but I will buy him Price isn't a problem with me, it's just timing.

 

1) How do you react when you see an outfit, accessory or doll you absolutely love and want to have? In your opinion, what are the rights and wrongs when reacting to someone else's BJD-related possessions?

I would feel a little guilty wanting to get an outfit my friend had for their doll. However, turn it around, I'd feel so totally AWESOME if a friend liked an outfit I had, and wanted it. I can't say there isn't a right or wrong way to react from someone else's stuff. If someone then asks you, maybe say that you saw it on a friend's doll.


2) Have you ever resented someone personally for their BJD-related possessions? In your opinion, is it possible for people to resent someone personally for the items they have?

Resent them in a I-don't-hate-you-but-your-stuff-is-admittedly-so-much-better way, maybe. But outright get pissed because she has that super cute, pink princess dress that costs oh-so-much? Not likely. Now, if they could afford having tons of pricey outfits, and then brag about how they never buy less expensive...well, then that's a more character-based dislike of the owner, and not about what they had.

But I've never disliked someone purley on what they own, just how they act

3) Is elitism a myth or a reality of the hobby? Is the concept of "elitism" created by the "Have's" or the "Have-Nots" or a combination of both and does it extend to everyone or a few people in the hobby? "Elitism" is only there if you want it to be there. If I really wanted things from a more expensive doll company, then I'd save for it, and buy it. But I think there's a back and forth. People who like to say they never get stuff from one company, or only get stuff from another company - their one-upmanship is only fueled, in my opinion, by the people who act jealous towards them. So what if you only buy from Volks, and refuse to buy from Dollmore; am I really supposed to care that you do that? I think people who like to gloat about that are missing something in their lives. People playing the one-up game always find a way to rope others into it, and that's really annoying.


4) Does the hobby itself even have "Have's" and "Have-Nots"? Or is it a matter of being happy with what one has versus what one wishes he/she had?

I gotta go with the second one. Like I said, there will always be people who have a problem with other people having certain things - regardless of how long it took to get them. And in their jealousy, they have to make it look like they're better than people. People get jealous for nothing, sometimes. They don't know it took a while to save for an outfit - nor will they hear it. The world is out to get them, and this hobby is unable to filter these people out.

 

First of all, don't assume that because you found something at an exclusive event that another person won't be able to acquire one. That way lies elitism. There is a very healthy and active global marketplace surrounding BJDs and there is every chance that the outfits you are so proud of will be offered for sale by someone else.

1) How do you react when you see an outfit, accessory or doll you absolutely love and want to have? In your opinon, what are the rights and wrongs when reacting to someone else's BJD-related possessions?

I figure the item into my budget and save for it. It's all right to like something owned by someone else; it's wrong to covet it.

2) Have you ever resented someone personally for their BJD-related possessions? In your opinion, is it possible for people to resent someone personally for the items they have?

Not at all. If I want something and have the money for it, I will buy it. And yes, it's possible to resent someone for their BJD possessions, and yes, it's incredibly immature and childish to do so.

3) Is elitism a myth or a reality of the hobby? Is the concept of "elitism" created by the "Have's" or the "Have-Not's" or a combination of both and does it extend to everyone or a few people in the hobby?

Elitism is absolutely real, unfortunately. There are always going to be people who lord it over everyone else. Of course, we're proud of our collections and want to have the best dolls and accessories. What qualifies as best is up to the owner. No one has the right to rub someone else's nose in it.

4) Does the hobby itself even have "Have's" and "Have-Nots"? Or is it a matter of being happy with what one has versus what one wishes he/she had?

That's a personal issue. If you're always going to be unhappy with what dolls you have and always want what someone else has, then you have a problem. We're all capable of owning anything at all in BJD world, provided we can pay for it. Any sense of "have" or "have not" is self-inflicted.

 

1) How do you react when you see an outfit, accessory or doll you absolutely love and want to have? In your opinon, what are the rights and wrongs when reacting to someone else's BJD-related possessions?

If you never get jealous, I would argue you have no pulse. Everyone feels a twinge of jealousy sometimes, but if someone was to act rudely or hurtfully towards someone else because person a had something that person b could not afford or obtain, then we have an issue. I'm jealous of A LOT of people on DoA... all you SOOM MD owners, I'm looking at you!! ;] But, frankly, when I am able to, I will get the dolls that I want. Maybe someone will sell a Monzo, or a Euclase, or what not. People are in and out of the hobby all the time. Lots of people are selling dolls or trading them at any given time, and it's just a matter of saving up and having the willpower to do so~ :3 I think it's cool to even be able to see what others have done with their dolls, the ones that I like and would want, and am sometimes even jealous of... xD

2) Have you ever resented someone personally for their BJD-related possessions? In your opinion, is it possible for people to resent someone personally for the items they have?

In a way yes, in a way not... but mainly it was because this person I knew wasn't really a good person to begin with, and I'm pretty sure most of their dolls were bought with stolen money. At the time, I was working alot and still couldn't afford to buy a doll, so I was kind of ticked that they were getting theirs with money taken from their parents (without the parents knowing).


3) Is elitism a myth or a reality of the hobby? Is the concept of "elitism" created by the "Have's" or the "Have-Not's" or a combination of both and does it extend to everyone or a few people in the hobby?

There is elitism in EVERY hobby, whether it happens openly or behind backs. Whether its Person A snickering to person B about how ugly person C's faceup is, or how person D only buys 200 dollar dolls, but A and B won't buy anything under whatever price... It's not nice, it's quite wrong to do, but it's gotta happen somewhere.

4) Does the hobby itself even have "Have's" and "Have-Nots"? Or is it a matter of being happy with what one has versus what one wishes he/she had?

I haven't been in the hobby long enough to tell, but I do see lots of people on the board without dolls, or who only have 1 or 2 and have a wishlist of 100, haha. I think the "have" and "have not" thing really comes down to how each person feels. I have some dolls, and I don't have others... but the ones that I have I am SUPER happy about and grateful for, so even compared to someone with 50 dolls, I wouldn't think of myself as a 'have not'. I'm just happy that I 'have' at all. Hell, I'm happy that something like these dolls exist for me to oogle and squee at!!

 

Elitism and snobbery are, sadly, human traits that will be found everywhere and in everything that people involve themselves with. We just need to remember, these are toys, they are not real life, if you have something nice, that you like and can afford, good for you, don't worry about someone else, they will find their own way or their own outfits as the case may be.

 

If you're like me and come from a beginning of have not, and still feel the burn of exclusion for not having a Cabbage Patch Kid, and everything you now have is by your own hands you have to feel satisfied with what you have. I've had a couple of times when I've seen a doll and wanted one, then I research the price and if it's within my budget I save for it. If it's too much in my mind I figure out what about it I liked, usually the sculpt, and search for a resolution.

I don't want to cause people distress if I have something they don't, but can't help if I've made different life decisions then they have. You can't worry too much about others, you can't feel guilty. It's not your job to solve the world's problems money and affluence wise. If you do worry work to change the environment and education, better educated people make better choices and can have better lives.