Having a doll - being selfish?

Well, you have to think of it another way. Many of the problems associated with poverty won't simply go away if you don't buy a doll.

First, there are war-torn, poor countries. In these places, you can donate to charities to help the poor people, but sometimes that money is taken by corrupt governments. Then there is the issue of the homeless in your own city. Many of them suffer from mental illness, drug and alcohol addictions, and even being "handicapped" in some way. For instance, without his parent's support, my boyfriend would be homeless due to his learning disorders, which makes it difficult for him to cope with our society. These people could be helped a bit more with monetary donations. But again, it would take a lot more money than you have to actually help them all. It would be better to petition the government for better mental illness or addiction facilities.

Then you have to factor that many governments around the world depend on capitalism. Capitalism depends on constant economic growth. So, that's why when people aren't buying things, the economic growth goes down, and then governments depend on this economic growth for tax purposes, which provides the government with money for social services, such as mental health facilities, and so on. So not buying a doll, and not contributing to the economy as it is currently set up, would mean LESS money for social services. Think of it. The income of the doll makers are taxed. When your doll arrives, customs often taxes the doll. That's why when the economy drops, governments encourage people to spend more. The system is far, far from perfect, but unfortunately it is the only thing we have.

The problem isn't so much "I'm spending too much on myself." The problem is that many people don't really know the factors that contribute to poverty. They don't know how to help. And that is a much bigger problem than spending money on yourself.

 

In the States, I'm considered in the 'Poor' bracket. Yet, I still manage to budget for my dolls, and other expenses. Do I feel guilty for having things? Occasionally. But then I remember how meager my own means are in comparison to some of my friends, and other people in the hobby. I scrimp and save for what I get.

And, as Ravendolls mentioned, purchasing a doll is helping a foreign economy. Yeah, the money doesn't go directly to the poor-- but by ordering products, we increase the demand and help create jobs in an otherwise faltering community.

 

I live in an area that due to it's spectacularly beautiful location throws rich, medium income, and poor people together. I mean super rich. From first hand experience I can say that not all poor people are generous (and I am not talking just monetarily), and not all people with many nice things are "indifferent to the needs of others". Many wealthy people give vast amounts of money to charities, to local hospitals, to keep community programs running, etc. If we all lived lives with jobs that were so basic that we didn't/couldn't own anything extra, there wouldn't be enough money for life saving medicine, the Internet, so many things. Making and having some extra money is not inherently a bad thing. The world needs people who can make a lot and share a lot.

I for one absolve you of
of any guilt from wanting a doll!

 

Honestly, I don't think having a doll makes you selfish any more than shopping at the mall or buying snack foods or buying shiny accessories for yourself makes you selfish. Yes, they're a luxury item, and yes they're expensive, but to be brutally honest, we can't help everyone on the planet by denying ourselves something that makes us happy. It sucks that there are those out there who are not was well off as some of us in the hobby, it really, truly does. But if I start dwelling on those people, and feeling guilty for having luxury or non-essential items when I could've helped them, I'd never stop. And I'd drive myself crazy trying to find ways to cut back and donate all excess cash to helping.

Maybe I'm a little harsh, I won't deny it. But I can't continuously think that way, and I know that throwing money at the problem won't make it go away.

 

I often feel the same way and I totally agree with what Maankatje said.

 

I totally agree with you, Lycansea and the rest of you, of course.

I also think it has to come from your own consience. I mean, if one truly feel guilty about something, everyone telling you it's allright won't really help. It is heavy to bear for everyone, that while some people live happy, wealthy lives, most people does not. But I shouldn't have to feel guilty every time I put dinner on the table even though other people are starving. There are so many ways to contribute, not only with money, and I find that by doing something for others in my lie, really helps on the consience. you just have to find what is the right thing for you. For me I find that doing volunteer work is really giving.

Another food for thought is to be more aware of what you buy. For instance there is the Divine Chocolate Factory in Ghana which is owned by 45% of the local farmers. They are not being ripped off, and therefore they get money to build their society to become a better place. If you buy their chocolate, you help to create a better world for these people. This is true everywhere, I think. If you get a business started, the locals will help themselves, instead of having to wait for slow and corrupt regimes.

There are so many ways to help people, a lot of ways already stated in this thread, so I am not repeating them. But not buying a doll doesn't really help poor people. Only action does. If that made any sense?

 

I guess it really depends on your own perspective. Personally, I have also thought about the question you asked. On my Facebook account, I have added a local charity organisation page. I posted some photos about my dolls recently, but when I saw them also posting about the Japan earthquakes, I felt a little guilty, like what you felt, that the money could have gone to "better use" even though I bought my dolls even before it happened, and even when I have donated to the Japanese Red Cross for it.

However, like others say, there is only so much burden that you can shoulder for the world. You can donate every cent you have and there will still be poverty around the world.

I have friends who spend money every month going shopping and buying fancy stuff, or those who spend hundreds each time topping up for MMORPGs and buying ingame stuff (or more bluntly put, pixels), and I don't see them beating themselves up about that $700 imbal ingame armour purchase or $1000 prada bag purchase. Maybe they do, but it isn't going to stop them from doing what they like.

To me, collecting BJD is the same as all other hobbies, which are meant to make you feel good and involved. (Okay, maybe it's a little expensive). We can't stop ourselves from the occasional guilt, but don't let it stop you from doing something you know you enjoy. (Of course, I am not asking you to go on a rampage buying tons of dolls or something~).

Personally, I feel it is all about finding that balance. Who says you cant have a hobby and still do your part for the world? To quote: "I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do." So, start by helping to spread that wealth around like how ravendolls sees it!

I hope you will find your answers soon.

 

I'm with bewaretheshort1 in that one. Do you feel selfish, buying a winter coat ? No ? Why, you could be going around covered in blanket. Do you feel guily, buying a choco-bar ? Why, you should be satisfied with just a bread. And so on...
You really won't change anything by denying yourself a doll. Or two. Or three. It's not like your stealing money meant for the poor. You have earn them yourself, which isn't exactly easy.

 

I think most things are addictive, we all have our vises i think it is more that then being selfish. Also the more you get into the hobby the more dolls you see that tempt you. Where as at first you only see a small number.

 

While I appreciate the sentiment (because it means you're a thoughtful person that cares about others) I'm starting to find this question a bit annoying (not towards you asking, you seem a very nice person and I understand and appreciate the way you struggle with your concience, but in general). WHY are people so self- conscious about a doll while most of us live in societies where people spend tons of money on clothes, drinking, driving, cars, houses, xboxes, holidays, perfumes, designer handbags and tenzillion different kinds of entertainment- without batting an eyelash or feeling the need to justefy themselves towards others in any way, shape or form?
If it was asked in a broader context, like: how do we feel as a society (or as being part of a society) that does this, I could understand the question, but as it is now it seems that it's completely justified that someone spends x-amount per month on other hobbies or entertainment in general (including alcohol or overeating or other things that aren't directly beneficial to your health) but that acceptance suddenly comes to a screeching halt when someone decides to spend an x-amount on DOLLS. Then the guilttripping starts.
Because as much as I appreciate the underlying personality-trait of caring about other people, there's something else hidden in this question and that is that it is not really accepted or understood by society to collect these dolls and thus it feels harder to justify then other hobbies would.

My advise: enjoy your hobby. You can think about poverty and donate or help in other ways if you want to but please don't pitch charity against this hobby because it is very self-sabotaging in my eyes. If you enjoy it and can afford it and are responsable with your money there's no reason to guilttrip yourself out of something that means so much to you. And there's no reason to let anyone else guilttrip you either.

My father collects birds and some of these birds cost 150-200 euro's each. I wouldn't dream about whining about the cost of his hobby. Why would I? I really do not have the right. I also like seeing how happy these birds make him. It would be the same if he had a vintage car or something else. So really what makes dolls so susceptible for guilttripping and second-guessing in society's where spending money on just about anything else is accepted, I think that is a real underlying theme/question here.

I also cringe a little when people talk about dolls as just luxury items, something money goes to 'waste' on because that is purely and solely from our perspective. In reality someone on the other side of the world, an artist, is given the opportunity to live from his art, and thereby make more art. I don't think that is 'empty' at all. Dolls are an artform and as all art they need nurturing from people willing to spend money for it. In the bigger picture you are helping real people making art and dedicating their life to that art, which is a noble goal in itself imo.

 

I understand your concern, and moral paradox. I for one believe that you don't always have to give money to help your follow human out. Sometimes your time is just as valuable or other donation too. And I don't believe that we just have to help other humans. I for one love animals and would probably have a foster home for animals it my family allowed it. But back to my point. I have read other suggestion of raising money for a charity and then for your doll. You can do that but you can also take time to go help others less fortunate by volunteering in a soup kitchen or getting together with groups that fignht poverty.

I am weary of money donation since it seems that not all the funds get to those that needed them. Charities that help fight poverty also need money to keep working and sometimes donations get used to fund the charity (in a legal matter) before they are alotted to needy individuals. I learned this is my marketing class even non profits need to make money to keep doing their work.

EDIT: I also support Anne Mae's point.

 

This is a very difficult dilemma! I sometimes struggle with this thought too. However, a few things balance it up in my mind:
1. I spend the same amount of money as other people- they just spend it on shoes, DVDs, makeup, etc- whereas I spend it on dolls.
2. I haven't spent THAT much on dolls (debatable!) because I've hybridised, done my own faceups and modding, and used to sew clothes too before I realized I was truly terrible at that XD
3. I try to use my dolls in a positive way, to raise awareness of issues I feel are important. For example, if I post a photo of a doll on DA, I might include a link to a charity regarding a theme in the picture, along with information about the cause (I recently did this about the Canadian seal-hunt). I also hope that certain themes in my dolls' storylines raise interesting ethical and moral questions- albeit in a tongue-in-cheek way.
Also I like to think that by buying dolls from South Korea I'm helping their economy and the livelihoods of the artists making the dolls

 

You are not responsible for anyone but yourself and your family. If you can sleep better knowing you've helped a dying child with AIDS in Africa, and postponed your doll purchase because of that, then by all means do it!
Not talking about the dolls now, but there will ALWAYS be something more we can do to help someone else. That doesn't mean we must sacrifice our wellbeing for someone else...if we do that, nothing has been accomplished!

 

I don't think it's selfish at all. It isn't your fault that other people in other countries are poor and suffering, so I don't think that you should keep yourself from having an item that you want to have. However, you can help the people less fortunate by donating to charities or doing community service. Keeping yourself from owning an item that you truly want will not make the other people's situations or lives better. But if you are buying this kind of item when your own family is in a struggle, and you are able to help with the situation, I think that is something that could be deemed as selfish.

 

I understand how you feel - there is a lot of poverty in the world. Doing what you can by donating to charities and the like is a wonderful idea - but just be careful which charities you give to, as some take more of your donation costs for 'overhead costs' than others. If you want to help people who have little/no means, one way that is popular in Australia and England (And possibly other places) is the Big Issue magazine. It's a way of helping poorer/disadvantaged folks help themselves. The vendor you buy the magazine from gets half the profits from the sale of the magazine. I buy the same issue from three seperate people. (And one of those people has changed recently because the other had saved up enough to get himself a house, and now has a job working for a packing company.)

Don't feel guilty because you're buying a doll. It's spreading income to other nations in the world. If you do feel guilty, set aside a pledge, such as "For every dollar that goes to dolly, I'll put 'x' amount to a charity as well." That way, you get what you want, and you're assisting others as well.

 

Is it selfish to buy clothes for yourself, when there are people who don´t have money to buy clothes? Is it selfish to buy sweets, soda, shoes, a house, furniture, camera, TV. Everything you buy, you could be asking the same question. If you do not buy a doll, where does the money go? Would you give to the poor, or to charity? If not, then it´s not selfish. I think that the money I work for is mine, and I can use it the way I want. Sometimes I give something to the charity, of buy things for poor people. But I don´t think anyone expects me to give everything up, just because I happened to be born in a wealthy country.

EDIT: you could say that you are giving this money of the doll to those who need it. People making these dolls in countries like Korea and China, probably need the money more the you or I do.

 

Most of the time artists have to suport there hobby (making dolls in this case) by doing another job next to it. By buying their dolls we suport their hobby and give them more enjoyment

And money is important in live, but enjoyment in live is far more important. Rich people are not always the most happy people in the world. I see more happines in the eyes of the people I'm working for with my volentury work than that I see by the snobs in the rich neightbouhood. Like they say in the Netherlands: 'geld maakt niet gelukkig' meaning money doesn't make you happy. Just help the people you can, be it your best friend, or by donating to a random charity. What you see fit.

 

No..I don't think it's being selfish. It's not wrong to indulge on some things that you can afford. If it makes you happy and as long as you don't cause harm to anyone, then there's nothing wrong with what you're doing..