How did you drop the bomb on your parents / loved ones?

well, i have a job and i work my butt off at it, i live with my mother and we share the house bills, i simply said, i want this doll, i've ordered and she is $536 dollars. mom knows i've always love dolls so she didn't say anything, on the contrary, she has been extrangely supportive with this hobby, i guess she thinks that as long as i fulfill my responsibilities no one has nothing to say lol

 

I didn't tell my parents the true price of BJDs when I got my first, since I was going to college and they were helping me pay for it. Thankfully, now I'm on my own, so I have much more freedom with my money, not to mention a lot more of it because I don't have to spend money on schooling. My boyfriend is the only person who knows how much my BJDs cost, and he's totally okay with it. We went through the shock of their price-tag together, I guess. Still haven't told the parents, because it hasn't come up again. Even though I think they would be disappointed and probably try to lecture me, if they ask I would tell them now.

 

I completely understand the OP's sentiments. I'm married with a baby and do not live with my parents. All the same I have a very close relationship with them and see them easily 2-4 times every week. They are loving and supportive and I like sharing things with them but at the same time they are fairly conservative people and often don't understand people doing things they wouldn't do. I can also relate with the OP about the difficulty of hiding the price. One can try to underplay it but my parents would easily be able to recignise an expensive item. And while my mum bought me an Italian designer handbag (to be my Christmas and birthday presents for a few years!) when it comes to an expensive doll, her thoughts would run along the lines of "what do you want it for" "what are you going to do with it" "your baby will just ruin it" and "I don't get it".

Because I am close with them, breaking the news to them was a really I important issue to me and actually factured into my decision of which doll to make my first and what clothes to buy for her first outfits. (Resemblance to a more traditional porcelain doll was key, but let me be clear, I let this facture into which of three dolls I wanted to buy I would buy first, rather than which doll to buy as such) I don't feel that this being important to me means that I was treating my doll as "the end of the world" or encouraging my patents to see it as a problem. On the contrary.

My original plan was to open her on Christmas morning with my parents, husband and baby over at my house. I hoped that my obvious excitement while opening her, the fact that Christmas is the time that you can most acceptably get more frivolous things as presents and her resemblance (through choice of doll and outfit) to the more conventionally collectible porcelain doll would work in my favour to achieving their acceptance and vague understanding of how I feel about the dolls if not their 100% "approval".

Given the personalities of my parents and our relationship I'm fairly confident that this would have been a great plan, the only problem is that it involved waiting until Christmas!

I actually ordered the doll at the end of August and am still waiting for her to ship, but I was so excited about having ordered her, was so enjoying spending a little time each day gazing at her company promo pictures and was spending so much time hanging out with the baby and my parents while my husband worked late that I really couldn't contain myself and I told them about the purchase.

In my case I had another reason for making the purchase at that time, which was that I had a very very difficult day to go through coming up. So my husband and I decided that that night or the next day we would order the doll, so I had something really special and lovely (my first ever BJD!!) to be looking forward to and thinking about instead of just the traumatic day that was approaching. So I told my parents that she was to give me some light-at-the-end and that I was really excited about her and that she would make me happier.

I don't think anyone needs a reason to want a particular doll, (I just wanted her too) but I did feel reticent about spending all that money and turning my BJD enthusiasm from a completely free hobby of research and Flickr browsing to a hundreds of dollars doll owning experience. It made it easier for me to have a reason regarding when to purchase the doll (Christmas/birthday/reward/light-at-the-end...etc) and I think those things can help offset the "oh my gosh you spent so much money on yourself in such a frivolous manner" reaction, compared to just buying one on any old day. If you do choose to say your doll is a reward, however, it will likely only help with your parents if they also feel that you deserve some kind of significant reward and that you have already achieved the goal before spending the money.

Remember too, a big part of getting anyone to understand any "unusual" thing that is important to you is to make them understand how much it matters to you and how happy it makes you. Parents in particular usually want their kids to be happy above everything and when they disapprove its often because they don't really believe that a certain thing will lead to your happiness down the line. Making sure that they understand that it really will make you happy now and in the long term is key to gaining their acceptance and can even lead to approval.

 

I wish I could say I had a supportive mother, but.. lets face the facts. My mother is displeased with any money I spend unless it's towards my debt, or if I'm helping her out.

My life has recently gone downhill. Like.. It started last September/October with some family issues causing my brother to be sent to prison for no reason. That didn't directly involve me, but it inflicted stress. I'd been looking at dolls for a while.. but never thought I could buy one for some reason.. Months passed, I kept my eye on some dolls. Mostly a couple from DoD.. I don't remember names.. But then, life kinda went down again. Lost my job, no real way of getting them. I collected Unemployment, which was cool, I guess. I tried to save up again. Didn't mention it to mother..

I swear this all has an ending point, I'm building up to my debt I have to pay back..

So after four months of collecting and using money to help with bills and my food, I get a new job, my current place.. Unemployment decides I wasn't allowed to have that money. So, I appealed it, lost in court, and now I'm stuck paying back $1300 +. So, I start off slow, I send in payments when I can. Small ones because they take forever to send me my bills to reply to. And a couple months ago I bought my first two small dolls. Hujoos. Starting off reeeally cheap, and really small.

I showed mother and she just kept telling me to prioritize my money. I told her I was doing all I could right now.. Since then my hours got longer, and now I make a bit more money.. I have my first resin doll on layaway.. Mother's reaction: Oh my..

I'm sorry. A lot of that was off topic.. Blegh.

 

It's my money. I've never asked anyone for a cent towards paying for a doll. It's all been my own money from my own job, or my mom or boyfriend asking me if I want a doll for my combined Christmas and birthday (which is super nice of them).

That being said, when I first saved for a doll, I was in college. I had a summer job working at a biotech lab. I put money in a jar with the doll's picture taped to it, and saved up the entire amount. I told my mom I was getting her, and she looked at me like I grew a second head, lol! She was so disapproving that I put the money in the bank. Then I saved the money again, and the same thing happened. But I kept talking about the doll, until my boyfriend said, "You clearly really want this. Just do it." So I saved up again and bought her.

My mom saw how much I like them, and started asking me if I wanted one as my Christmas presents. She was just worried that I would buy it and then not like it.

Actually, now that I think of it, I remember telling my grandparents about it, and my grandfather said, "My brother and I once had a bike. We thought it was the greatest thing, but one day it got stolen, and I always look back and wish we had had it for our whole childhood. Point is, if you want it that much and can get it, you should."

My family can be really great.

 

They arrived at home. xD I live with my mother, so... I have lots of artistic hobbies though, so I guess she wasn't really bothered by it. She likes seeing the faceups that I do, and the clothes that I sew for my boys.

 

Well, my dad actually liked my doll and he bought it for me. I was planning on asking my sister to use her paypal and pay for it myself, but my dad was pretty accepting. I don't understand why everyone treats bjds as such a secret, like it's taboo or something.

If you just say what it is without acting like it's a bad thing there shouldn't' be a problem. It's a doll, a quality hand made work of art that' 100% customizable. What's so hard to accept? I use my doll so i can get better at sewing and improve at photography. That's the way i approached my family with it and of course they were skeptical, but overall, it was something new that they never heard about. Of course it's strange at first, but then they get used to it. I can't wait to see their reactions when I have my own place and have a family of dolls.

 

I am not going to "drop the bomb" on my mom. My boyfriend understands, so that's not a big deal, but my parents would not understand. It is hard to justify spending that much when you're in college and have bills and loans to pay off. On top of that, my mom will think they're ridiculous and stupid. Not creepy, but seriously just stupid. I don't want to bother arguing with her and having her make me feel like a weirdo, so I'm just not going to tell her. I live with my boyfriend, so she won't know, and if she notices my doll while visiting someday, I will tell her about them, but I won't tell her how much they cost.

 

Just brought my first girl to the dinner table, sat her there, and told my parents she's mine. XD Same happened with my second girl. I have never asked them to pay for my dolls, so they don't say anything. :P It'll take a while to introduce my third girl, since she's a little pricey considering her size. Plus I just introduced my second girl to them. Can't shock them TOO often. XD

 

I told my mom years before I got my first job that I was really interested in BJDs and I showed her pictures of them. She thought they were beautiful but couldn't believe they were so expensive. During my first year of working, I told her I was going to get one and she was actually excited for me. She knows I'm really good at hoarding money and that I wouldn't bankrupt myself. It also helped that she didn't actually see his price tag.

 

I've never told anyone except one close friend how much my MSD boy cost.

She was shocked and told me "I hope the big ones don't become your hobby."

I did not tell her he cost less than some of the small ones.

 

I didn't really "drop the bomb" on my mom. I told her I was going to order a doll (she already knew I was talking about BJDs, haha) and she said she didn't really mind. She said it was my money, and as long as I didn't spend it on drugs or something bad, it was okay.

My dad, on the other hand, doesn't know yet... He always gets in people's business when it comes to money. If he ever found out I spend $400 on a doll...I will never hear the end of his lectures. But, I guess he'll find out sooner or later when my Hazel arrives in November. I'll try to keep calm since we both have the same character and both tend to resolve problems with our short tempers. ^ ^"

 

I didn't tell anyone, nor said I was buying anything. Don't get me wrong, I didn't hide it, I simple didn't announce it. It arrived at my home like any other package. My mom is pretty curious so she asked what came is such big box, I showed her the doll, she looked at it a bit weirdly, but nothing too much, cause she knows the heck of a weird daughter she has.

Obviously she doesn't know the doll price, and even if she asks, I would answer '' a bit expensive ''. Sometimes my parents like to say that I should save money, and the funny part is that I DO save money. I pay my bills, buy junk and even have money left to save.

And even if I didn't save money, my parents are not the type to constantly bother or yell over something.

In the end, I didn't drop the bomb on anyone, because I'm kinda known for buying all sorts of weird junks.

 

One of the great things about being an adult estranged from her parents is I don't have to worry about things like this. However, being an adult living with her fiance... And his mother, is a whole different ball park. My fiance has been incredibly supportive of it for the most part- Despite the fact that we're saving to move next year. He didn't approve when I told him about one I'm wanting thats $500+, however. Since I won't be able to make the preorder, and she's limited, he did promise to help me buy her second hand down the line..
My mother-in-law-to-be doesn't know yet. I haven't mentioned it to her. She and I don't click the greatest, so the less she knows, the happier I am. C:

 

I told my mom by playing to what I know she wanted to hear first. I asked her if she remembered how my sister and I used to collect dolls. She said she did. And I told her I wanted to start collecting dolls again. She said that was reasonable and that my Aunt S. (who collects barbies) would love to have someone to talk to about doll stuff. I told her about the resin dolls and showed her pictures of the IH dolls and she and I went to the Indiana Teddy and doll show for my birthday on 9/11/2011 and she met others that have bjds, not just girls my age but a mother her age as well! She saw a mermaid doll there and fell in love with it but was a little unsure about it after finding out the price. She thinks it's a cool hobby and since she has no doubt that I just put away spare change and what i can spare out of my paychecks towards the dolls she has no issue with it. It's been slow saving but she also doesn't think that my stepdad would understand so he's in the dark about what they cost just knows that they're collectibles.

 

My first doll arrived home. I hadn't told my partner about her. Then I opened the box and said "I have a new toy! Isn't she cute? ^-^" She was like "WTF!? WHY!?!?!"

But she likes the girl nowadays I actually first opened the box at my moms place. She was curious and I tried my best to explain doll-things.

 

My first doll is being shipped today so I told my dad about it. He freaked out so I told him a friend bought it for me as a birthday present. I pay rent and have my own job. My boyfriend is supportive and is actually excited since he's very big into photography. But now I can't help but feel bad for spending all that money and I don't know if I should get the other one I wanted to get. :/

 

I honestly haven't told my mother about it. She is a frugal sort and I'd likely get an earful. I do, however, think she'd like them too. She does understand about collecting certain things. My mom lives about 5 hours away though. So it's not like I"m trying to hide them in her house or anything. XD I'm also going on 40 years old in a couple of years, so if she hasn't figured out yet that I'm pretty responsible with my money, a $700 doll isn't going to make a bit of difference.

 

I kinda purchased mine first then dropped it on my mother when she opened up my suitcase after I arrived back home for a vacation and saw him staring back at her. She doesn't know I've actually purchased it but she seems okay with me having him XD;; taking to calling him a "gnome" instead XD

 

My husband knows about my dolls and everything I've bought for them because it's important to both of us that we discuss our finances openly, so I didn't really drop a bomb on him when I got my first doll because he's technically the one that bought it for me. We live on our own in an apartment and I keep my dolls in my closet so visitors don't see them unless I bring one out to show or something, so cost hasn't really come up with anyone else.

My mom is aware that my dolls cost more than $100/apiece but doesn't know specifics. My mother-in-law doesn't know anything about how much they cost, and my husband and I are both just fine with that. She's the single mother that worked 16-hour days to provide for her son and still works Monday-Saturday and volunteers at church on Sundays, so she's very frugal to say the least and would most likely flip her lid if she knew how much they cost. For that matter she's fussed at my husband for buying things off the internet that were much cheaper than BJDs.