How did you drop the bomb on your parents / loved ones?

if I told my parents they'd put me into therapy (not cause of the cost, but because its a doll)

 

yeah I see your reasoning
I have a good reason for my paranoia-I've done some...cooky things in the past (all I will say is it had to do with a puppet) and I am a guy, how many straight 21 year old men own dolls lol
(that don't have kung fu grip or that don't have...those...features) lol

 

i truely believe that you just need to treat yourselves sometimes. some people go and get surgery done, some go buy awful furniture, eat at a super expensive restaurant and for the group on this forum Dolls are our little treats. and as long as you're responsible so if you have like a 200$ phone bill you need to pay and instead you go buy a doll the yes there is fear of telling someone that you did that, but otherwise it's fine. as long as you're responsible there shouldn't really be doom and gloom. shock yes so in my case...i just tell them it's a "investment" and they're fine with that hahaha

 

I understand your reasoning chibaraki, of course I do and it wasn't anything big with my mom me telling her I'm interested in dolls now.. The cost still bothers her I think, but she has the mind set of it's my money I can do what I want with it. She's actually rather more bothered if I spend most of my money trying to help her with bills - rather she feels guilty that I do.

It is a 'big thing' when it comes to condescending parents though who are against you buying anything 'unneeded' which in some cases yes they're a luxury item that is technically unneeded but wanted.. but still the 'my money' thing sometimes does not work on that sort of parent. I know it doesn't work with the other side of the family for me... Anything I buy myself is 'unneeded' and that my entire paycheck should go towards bills then savings.. like I am not required to have something that makes me happy...

I thought I'd just stick this in as well because people are jumping down the throat of 'it's not a big deal' but to some people in this sort of situation it is.

I honestly wouldn't tell my father at all.. but I want to get his fiance to teach me how to sew.

 

Well said. If you can afford it and you want it it's really nobody elses business. (And by afford it I mean spare $$$ for hobby purchases not simply having money in you bank account that might be needed for unforseen bills). If you're financially incontinent and buy dolls instead of pay the rent then your friends and family are likely to complain, otherwise it's your money your choice, and they will have their say but so what, you bought the doll for your enjoyment, not theirs. Don't let 'em grind you down. ^_^
To justify the doll somewhat you can always emphasise what a creative and worthy hobby itis compared to some - after the initial outlay of the doll wig eyes and bits and pieces you don't have to spend much more (unless you want to) and it's a great creative outlet/inspiration if you sew/take photos.
Having said all that, I'm 26 and live in another city to my parents, so if I don't feel the need to reveal the fact I've ordered another doll, I dont have to.

Kurodatenshi, it's great you want to avoid awkwarness or bad feeling in your family but I hope if they don't accept your decision to buy a doll I hope you can still enjoy her just as much - afterall, that's how dolls are worth the money, they bring us a lot of enjoyment. You're clearly mature and sensible about it, I don't know what other advice to give you apart from ride it out. I suppose all you can do is tell them how much you wanted her and emphasise that she's not an impulse purchase. Good luck.

 

doll people always seem smart with their money
I knew a guy who got scurry from bad finances (warhammer...my god)

 

well i dont hvae one yet, but my mom nows i'm saving for one and she knows the price, she doesnt seem to mind at all xD
shes kinda interested in them anyway. not like she wants ot get one for herself or anything, she'd just like to see one in real life xD
and my dad doesnt know(he works in alberta, while i live down near ottawa, so i dont talk to him every day)
but he comes home from alberta on sunday, i'll probably tell him and show him the one i'm saving for then xD

 

While I do agree that this situation is exaggerated sometimes... for some people, spending so much on what's appeared as an item that "has no use" can be a pretty big deal. Some parents don't even get the hobby - they don't even see it as being a hobby... so it's difficult to make them understand, especially if they still live with you and everything... I mean, if you're not the type to spend a lot, and you suddenly buy a luxury item that's worth hundreds of dollars, I'm sure it'd be a bit hard for some parents to digest. Maybe it's because I don't consider my family as ever being overtly "wealthy" or the kind with the mentality of "if you like it, buy it"...but yeah. I'm still wondering what my dad's reaction will be... o_o"

 

I havent "dropped the bomb" on my family yet, though my boyfriend knows.. but he got into the relationship knowing I collect dolls and he collects guns so were even (his hobby is even more expensive than mine!) I attempted to tell my parents but they blew me off so when I get a large package I scurry it off to my room labeling it "doll stuff" and they tend to leave me alone ^^; My parents usually stand by the whole "its your money, spend it how you want it. as long as it makes you happy" belief, but my sister is another story. I wont tell my parents because theyll tell her and Ill never hear the end of it. They dont even like me buying a phone that costs over 100$ because you dont need it and can spend the money in a wiser place.. my argument is that you use it every single day! So with my lower-middle class family spending thousands on a hobby is a big deal and im not sure how they would react at all :/ I hope i dont really have to find out lol

 

I was lucky-- I didn't have to 'drop the bomb'. Well, my family is pretty cool (and includes collectors of various things, including a couple of doll collectors), but since my sister got her gal first, I didn't have to do the bulk of the explaining.

=^__^=
Anneko

 

For some people, "I spent 300$ on a doll!" is as big a deal as coming out of the closet -my father has no problem with me being a lesbian, but God forbid I spend more than twenty bucks on a pair of shoes.

I still, every time I want to buy a doll, bring up the DOA marketplace and point out their value on the secondary market. "I'm not spending money, I'm investing!." Knowing that if needed, I could sell the doll for X% of what I paid for it makes it a lot easier for my boyfriend to swallow.

 

My parents saw how involved I was in researching first.
Then I started talking to them about it slowly.
Now I rant about it on a day to day basis.
Sure they think it's a lot of money , but their just glad I'm not out doing drugs and having. . . Intercourse. (Trying to preserve the child safe environment that are wonderful DoA mods provide us with. XD)
They are even willing to buy me a doll for graduation.
So for me , it wasn't a big deal at all.

 

My mom understands the value of good craftsmanship.... she knows why the dolls cost so much, and that there are porcelain dolls out there in the world cost tons more. (Though she still gives me that "it cost HOW much" look sometimes since I want an army of BJDs, haha). She also gets that everyone has hobbies, and most hobbies ARE expensive. We all sink our money into something that makes us happy, whether its dolls or horses or stamps or travel.

But when it came down to diving into the hobbie, my mom was the one to actually BUY me my first doll. What a great surprise that was on Christmas day! I actually had to stop her from buying her tons of accessories and tell her I was ok with it coming bald, naked, and faceless because I didn't want her spending even MORE money on just me. Bless her heart, though. Other people however, are not as understanding. When it comes to them, I just bring up something equally expensive that they throw money into and go "See, everyone blows their money on something that makes them happy. Don't talk."

Some people get it, some people don't. In the end, it really doesn't matter.

 

wait...that comment confused the crap out of me lol

 

I had no problem convincing my boyfriend. He's into building and customizing computers, which is an expensive hobby in its own right, and some of the supplies he wants I can use as well. As long as I don't make dolls a financial priority and don't get too obsessed, he's fine.

As for my parents, since I don't live at home they don't have to know, but I don't want to hide it. I think my mom will be fine if I explain about it and what my reasons are, but my dad hates hobbies in general. You can't even have a free or cheap hobby--you're not allowed to spend time on something unless you are making money off of it. If I was living at home, this would create a major rift in my family, so I can see why some people would be concerned about telling their parents.

 

I started expressing interest in getting another job, which made my parents ask why. I told them there was something I wanted to buy, but I didn't want to ask them for the money to buy it... and then I brought up the Crobidoll website...

Like most parents, they balked at the price at first, but after a while they were cool with it. Mom even showed off pictures of Nia to her coworkers They'd much rather have me be into dolls than drugs or whatever, so they're fine with it now!

 

Lol, chibaraki...

To answer this topic's questions, I just don't like talking about how expensive the stuff that I have costs, so the whole, "you spent how much on a doll???!!" discussion doesn't ever come up. My mum knows the cost of some of these dolls, and she really doesn't think it's a big deal. Really, the only one that my family might throw a fit over is my LE Volks girl, but that's why I don't bring up the cost to anyone but those who actually understand the hobby, and even then, I don't go flaunting the price tag.

 

Last year I had a foreign exchange student from France stay with me and my family and she had dolls. Bjd and pullips and she brought one bjd and two pullips with her. At first I wasnt sure, I read an article in I think it was Bust or Nylon magazine about a Dollife convention, so that was all I knew about them. The pullips were cute but I slowly became fascinated with her Dollmore bjd. She was so pretty and huge! I prefer MSD size but she was closer to SD being I think 57 cm. When I told my parents I wanted a doll they just looked at me, Im 18 years old and wanted a doll. The girl who stayed with us was 15 at the time but I had to explain to my mom and step dad they are a teen and adult hobby. From their I saved up.
This July when I go and visit he for two weeks I will bring bjd a long.

 

I just said I had purchased one and that I was super excited about it. There wasn't a preface for the price or anything like that, since it's my money and not theirs. I stay with my grandmother, and she didn't inquire the price at all. When that did come up (one of my cousins asked when they heard about it) and they were more like "dude how do you just drop that much on a doll? o.o" than anything else. No objections were raised about it, and they all actually really like him! And, my younger male cousin actually wants one now, so I'm helping him pick out things and save up for her. |D It's not that bad to say you're getting one, and really, the only opinion that matters, at the heart of things, is your own. If you're happy with your doll and feel comfortable paying the fee for them, then that's great! Celebrate the fact you're getting something that makes you happy and hopefully your family will be just as positive about it as you are.

 

My mom seemed cool with it. She thinks that they are cute. Sister seems to like them, but likes to give me a hard time. Dad doesn't mention them ^^;;