How did you drop the bomb on your parents / loved ones?

why do women feel the need to explain to everyone how we spend our money. a man would never explain. He would just do it and not ever fell the need to explain his actions. men spend thousand of dollars on thier toys and we support them. and as for girls living at home buying dolls tell you parents its not weed!

 

This is not about "women feeling the need to explain how we spend our money" (I disagree with your statement anyways, as even in my fairly dysfunctional family my father explained when he made a major purchase). This is about "How do you explain to your family that dolls are not the irresponsible purchase that they seem to most of the uninitiated," and I think that if your family is supporting you monetarily in any way (even if they don't directly pay for the dolls), they damn well deserve to know where that much money is going, and if you are planning on ever telling your family about your dolls or showing them, how you initially tell them makes a big difference in how they will perceive them.

Since we're dealing with DOLLS here, the guys probably have a little bit more they need to explain anyways. I think this thread is a valuable resource, because this situation has to be handled differently for different people. My mom was kind of confused by it at first, but I explained it from the customization/clothes-making angle and she became a lot more appreciative, no more convincing needed. On the other hand, if I had told my father, no matter how I tried to explain it, I would have gotten yelled at, and if I tried to pull "well at least I'm not spending my money on weed" I would have gotten kicked out for being disrespectful. I'm not telling him about them (but then, I didn't plan on telling him I was moving out of state, so it's not saying much), though there's a good chance he will find out through my brother sooner than later, I don't care what he thinks. However, the people in my life whose opinions I actually care about, I will explain it to. It's part of that whole "respect and trust in relationships" thing, which I obviously understand some people aren't lucky enough to have with their families.

 

I distracted my mother with my doll's beauty xD
And kept reassuring her that mine was way less expensive than all o my friend's 12 dolls. >_>
My mother hates when I spend money... like... What else am I going to spend my money on?
I have my car bills, I'm responsible with my money. But I don't save any of the excess xD

 

How did I drop the bomb? Don't remember exactly when I told my Mum how much my Luken would cost but the latest they found out where when they picked him up from customs for me cos they needed all the paperwork (order confirmation, etc.).

My Dad doesn't seem to think any of it. But he's into expensive stuff, himself. For him, it's muskets and rapiers and facsimiles of old books (that's largely connected to us being members in a reenactment group - 17th century). For me it's dolls. My Mum will tell me to slow down - where she's right cos my flat's tiny - but doesn't really mind, either, cos she knows I put a certain amount of money aside every month as "emergency money".

 

This is literally how it went:

Me: Daddy, can I get another doll?
Dad: How much? -.-
Me: 200
Dad: Are you insane?!? You're other dolls only cost a Hundred!
Me: BUT THIS ONE IS PRETTY!!

I have seven American Girl Dolls that cost a Hundred dollars each.

And, my dad is ordering me my doll on May 15th!!!

 

I've been looking at dolls for a loooong time and I've always told my family how much i want one. My dad pretty much said "you can get a doll, but I'm not paying for it" Which is hard because I have no job >.<
But I'm only 87 dollars away from my first doll!

 

I read this thread with interest. I am planning my first BJD purchase and have been told by my hubby that the girl I want looks slutty and he doesn't really like her!!!
This kind of upset me and seemed a bit out of character as I have Blythe dolls and he seems to quite like them (well, as much as can be expected!)
I guess though, it's my money, it's what makes me happy, so yah boo sucks to him when I finally get my dream girl (Twiggy Yumi v2)

 

Hmm... I think I wittled down my mother's insanity through 7 years of mentioning I was planning on getting a doll. Another thing is anything I do now pretty much won't surprise my mother though... o_o... so yeahhh....
Then again it was money I saved up so really she couldn't do much >.>... Cept call me weird, get into really heated (but not angry) arguments in my obsolete Chinese/English combination, followed with her smacking me upside the head when I annoy her too much xD;;

Dad doesn't know since he's a really traditional Asian parent and I'm pretty sure he'd just have nothing good to say about it, since I already know his reaction and what would possibly happen to things that I own.

All in all its just using whatever experience you've had when dealing with your parents about specific situations and gauging how they'd react to this. >.>

Currently I'm already hinting to my mom that I'm planning on getting another xD;;

 

neither of my parents get why I like 'dolls' at my age even though I keep telling them they're collectable items and I enjoy having them. In all truth, I never tell them when Im ordering a new doll or even when I'm saving up for one and they're really not interested anyway, after all it is my money. The thing is, my Dad has a more expensive hobby- model steam trains- which can cost upwards of a grand per engine so he can't really argue with me about it

 

At first, they were against the idea and said that I was getting too old for dolls. Then I said, "You can't stop someone from doing something when they're really determined. And at least you know I have some sort of innocence left." Then they've been whittled down and actually help me with dolly things, such as purchasing and they even give me ideas on how they should be customized.

 

After moving in with my 80 year old Mother, I was introduced to Volks' Dollfies by an article in a doll magazine. At the same time I was introduced to a new sport called "Arguing with my family over money."

Since falling in love with the Volks', and other companies, Dollfies, I started buying them, one by one, with my own money. However, my siblings and their spouses and kids see things differently, always trying to draft me into their favorite sport of money arguments. Parental units are supposed to support their offspring with whatever they want.

This disgusted me as I had learned the hard lessons of work ethic and supporting onesself from labor. For short, I don't take money from my Mother. All money I have spent on the Dollfies was MY MONEY. You get that sister, bro-in-law, brother, nieces, nephews!

You find a way of removing yourself from the "playing field of family arguing about money," by working a job away from the house, I run a small business from the internet, I am glad to get away from family to the post office to ship out orders. All monies I make are wired directly to my bank account. Never tell your family how much money you are making. Always collect a fee for all items you sell for them. Don't be a doormat.

Anyway, I dream of owning/renting my own place again, and then I can display the dollfies as I wish. Until then, I continue to remind my family, when they need reminding, that it is MY MONEY. What I spend it on is my business.

 

How did I drop the bomb?
Hahaha, I kind of mentioned to my mum that my friend had some kind of wicked doll that could be painted and customized and such. Mum, knowing that I'm an artist kind of knew that I was going to buy one, given the way I was always mentioning doll things to her with such excitement. She also has a couple of doll like hobbies herself, she has one doll that was her wedding doll that lives on her bed and has a small bear collection. A few weeks later a doll arrived The end.

 

"I watched you go to that girls house after work! And all the money disappearing from our bank account... You're probably buying her clothes and jewelry and... don't you dare deny it!"
"Well, yes to both, but you've got the wrong idea... we were just playing House with our dolls. You've got to believe me, honey."

Interesting seeing WH mentioned here. I fully intend to make Celeste the general of my Sisters of Battle army.

 

Haha I remember where I told her (In the car) and near which apartment building I was when I too, dropped the bomb LOL.

My mom knew I liked these dolls...but really didn't want me getting one but I'd gotten the other half of my inheritance and came across an AF Lily on ebay that was a whole starter set for $200. My mother was NOT happy with me, wanted to know what made these dolls special, told me that I don't take care of my things (which is TRUE), and that I was too old for dolls. She'd thought that I'd drop the hobby like yesterday's news once I got bored.

Well...it's three years later and I'm sure not bored! I do eventually show her...whatever doll I've brought home which has been a LOT (I'm one of those people that gets a doll to experience it)..and typically she's like "Whatever". She does love Macchiato (secretly) because she's my favorite of all time and have had her for about a year now.

But yeah, I'm always ready for "The Lecture" that I get from time to time.

My dad was totally cool with it...he didn't know how much they cost until a year in...he's just like "Huh?" but my parents also have very expensive hobbies which I pointed out. As long as my responsibilities are taken care of they don't mind.

 

Honestly, if it's your money, why do you even have to tell the price to anyone? I totally gloss over how much this hobby costs me when talking to my mum about it unless I bought something super duper cheap. I'm spending my money, and I'll have my own apartment in all of 3 months, so I don't see the need to inform her everytime I make a purchase, of how much it costs. She knows I'm responsible with money, and she trusts me to make the right decisions, and at the end of the day, she's not having to pay for any of it. Thus we all win. But I just wouldn't disclose the price- like you said, to most outsiders these are just toys, so let them assume you paid $40 for it like any other fancy toy, and call it a day. Why create issues?

 

I was drooling on dolls way before I told my mum that actually I'd like to buy one. First she said "Nonsense" but I didn't give up, I kept telling her and showing her pictures. It wasn't as bad as "dropping a bomb"... was kinda hard, but not too hard

 

I chose time to tell about a doll after capital repairs in our house. So my mother was too tired for surprising or to be angry about anything. I'm happy that it turned so easy.

 

Dad Case:
-In front of grandmother's tombstone-
Me: "Dad, I quit gaming and spend all the money I earn in dolls collecting."
Dad: "Oh, good good. So you quit gaming, that's good."
Me: "-Surprised- I bought dolls, so you're okay with it?"
Dad: "Yea, you quit gaming. Quitting games are good."
Me: "o__o.... -Wonders if all he cares is only about me quitting games-"
Conclusion: It was a good idea to link games and dolls together.

Mom Case:
Me: "I'm getting dolls. Dad said is fine, so yea!"
Mom: "Okay."
Conclusion: As long as dad said yes, I'm in green light for mom side.

Friends' Case:
Me: "I got myself two BJD, they come in a set. I'm bringing them out to the mall tomorrow, wanna come?"
-3 of my friends brought their DSLR to the outing-
Conclusion: BJDs are always a good subject for pictures.

 

I'm still in the middle of deciding whether I should get one or not, but I've seen my mom look over my shoulder whenever I browse through doll sites. She mentioned she collected dolls herself when she was around 10 or so, and I'm already turning 21, so I'm not sure how her reaction would be once I tell her I'm finally getting one. Both my parents will surely reprimand me for getting such an expensive thing that requires maintenance, but I know as long as I show them I'm responsible enough for this kind of hobby and that I'm spending my own money for it, they're gonna be cool with it. They've been supportive with my creative outputs since I was a child, so I'm sure they'll support me once I get into customizing, sewing, photography, etc.

My boyfriend is absolutely fine with it though! He's also a collector of figures, like Gundams, Evas and figmas. :P

 

My fiance is ok with it has long as the bills are paid and there food in the flat.