How did you drop the bomb on your parents / loved ones?

"Hi dad. Remember you said you wanted me to tell what I want as a graduation present? There are these dolls, they are expensive and one will cost you €600."

It's not like I get expensive gifts like this often and my parents have always been very clear about saving up money and do not buy stuff you don't need, but echoing what Chibaraki said a while ago: it's dolls, not some fatal disease or end of the world scenario. Ever since I got my first doll my father keeps asking if I have bought more dolls since last time we talked.

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The best way is to treat it as normal as possible. If you act all weird like your parents could freak out any moment, your parents will probably become suspicious and wonder if there is something they should freak out about. Introduce it as a respectable collectables hobby, not as a freak show they should be afraid of.

 

Sighs...sure it's not the end of the world or death or destruction....but my parents think I can sure use that money towards something else. Even good use such as bigger donations toward charitable organizations with the money I've spent on dolls.

 

This. I'm 26, and it may be silly, but I still think "Will Mom and Dad approve? Gah I'm a grown woman, geeze!" whenever I have a decision to make about a luxury.

The bomb I dropped was a very small one. I just brought her over and when my youngest brother asked how much she was I just said that she took all my con money. I know that some of the smaller dolls can cost a lot, but thankfully the March doesn't when dressed in Barbie and Liv. Mom was surprised, but she really likes her. Dad likes her, too, but I think he'll be more impressed when I do a faceup on her and make her something. I don't know how they'd react to a bigger doll...I don't think I'll tell the real prices.

 

Sometimes I think my parents should spend their money differently, but it is not my money and my parents don't show me everything they buy.

I've been raised to save up every last cent I ever got as a child and I was told off if I dared to buy things like candy or toys, because those were things I didn't need. The only exception was when I got money for my birthday, but on any other occasion I was given money it had to go to my savings account.
Still my parents didn't flip their lids when I told that I wanted a really expensive doll, because I after I introduced the hobby as something respectable collectors do, they were receptive about the costs. They know some things are expensive, because those things are quality products. Not all parents are rigid or monsters.
My parents gave me a harder time with my live action role-play hobby, because it's harder to explain that respectable people with normal jobs dress up funny and hit eachother with foam swords.

 

Curious if there was not still a related thread as I think in many cases this is, if not the first, one of the first steps in falling into the hobby.

In my case, I had the advantage of living by my own with my partner, but I got to drop the bomb on without letting it explode and without lying. My mother also loves dolls. That is one of the positive points of it, but not the main. The time, in 2005, I found out about BJD I did watching a photograph of a BJD which reminded me about myself. I left the picture which caused me this around, telling nothing, so my relatives and friends could watch it and their impression after it was the same. So my mom was kind of pleased when I told her I was buying that BJD, even despite her price that she considered also too high. She helped me in my saving for her. Is that the end of the story of the bomb I dropped?

No. I remember, when I received her and showed it to my mother how she told me not to buy more. By that time I had already changed my mind about the character (One One Piece manga and anime series crew members) my first BJD really was and it was going to mean several more, like it did. During a long, until I got the most of them and even a BJD for my mom, I hid all, but the first from her. On my mother's birthday in 2006 I showed her the by then whole group and I thought that would be the moment of the explosion of the bomb, but it was not either. She loved and loves my pirates crew.

About my father, I think he has seen only the first one, maybe two. My brother likes them and about my partner, the person I live with, he is always glad I do and get what makes me really happy, if we can afford it, like I am about his likes.

 

Mmmm... let's see.

"Mom, I want to show you this doll that I want.. they are amazingly beautiful, hand crafted, and gorgeous pieces of art, and I want one... but just to let you know, the cost several hundred dollars a piece."
"Well, I won't be buying one for you."
"I don't expect you to."

Then a few weeks later when my aunt asked me what I wanted for my birthday.... xD I showed her. And guess what? She ended up ordering the doll for me ;; Oh how I love her to death for that.

Since then I have bought another doll, and ordered another, but I haven't really told my parents about them. Like I've read on this thread already, it's my business, not my parents, and as long as I'm not putting myself into debt over them, there isn't a problem, it's as simple as that. I know my parents still don't like the dolls, or the fact that I'm spending so much money on them, but the way they see it, if it's making me happy, they can't do anything to stop me.

 

hmm for me it was excedingly easy, I already collected "Little apple dolls" at about 32 euro's a piece they did not bother anyone, even thoug my parents did nog like them.

When the company I bought the apple dolls from switched to BJD I fist thought "I'll never get money together to get one of those, but wow sooooo pretty" So for a long time I just looked at BJD.

I finally showed my mom some dolls, she liked them but thought them very expensive.
When I finally found one I really NEEDED to have all my parents said was "well its your own money, we kind of saw it comming, we thought jou would get one a lot sooner actually"

So I got off easy

 

Meh, I didn't have any real "bomb dropping"
It was like... "Hey, check out this doll." and both of my parents were like "Oh cute." It wasn't anything new to them, as we lived in Japan for three years when I was much younger, so they're totally used to anime and cutesy type things, and they respect that I like such things. I told them I wanted one and the price... They were a little daunted by the price, but didn't dwell on it or make a fuss. My dad gave me the money I had in my bank-account that had been there for years to give me a start, and my mother offered the suggestion that I could do extra chores for extra money.
So really they're fine with it. My dad is very supportive and enthusiastic, my mom could care less.

@Elaisa: Wow, I looked up those Little Apple Dolls and they're super cute X3

 

Gah hello there forum ^^ I have this very annoying feeling and I don't know how I can handle this situation. I am new to BJD and I've bought a 400$ doll. For you perhaps a 'cheap doll' but for parents who don't know the hobby, amazingly expensive (seeing whatelse you could have bought.) I never told them I ordered it and I am still paying it off but seriously. Help I am scared to have a package arrive in november with a bill taped faced up on it of 400$. My parents will probably have a heart attack o-o how on earth can I ever tell them I bought such an espensive 'thing'? I mean I could have had half of my driving license of it (something my dad keeeeeeeps bothering me about). o-o what do I do I wanted a doll so bad and now I was so happy I bought one but I dont think I can tell my parents. I just wanted the box to arrive and see what happens next, but what if they don't understand? some hints and tips please or have you been in the same situation ??

looking forward to replies

 

Try using the search function on this site. There are already threads like this on here that will help you with this question. Try putting in the word parent or parents in the search engine?
Good luck to you!

 

http://www.denofangels.com/forums/s...-the-art-of-obtaining.&highlight=tell+parents

http://www.denofangels.com/forums/s...he-existance-of-a-doll&highlight=tell+parents

http://www.denofangels.com/forums/s...-you-tell-your-parents&highlight=tell+parents

These might help. I just typed in "tell parents" in the search box and got three very long threads, specific for the topic. Its been addressed, you might want to check these and see if it helps. ^-^

 

I think if it's your money then it's really not up to them what you do with it, however, parents will be parents and get yelly. The point of a job is to be able to work for things you want and need. If you explain that you worked hard and spent a long time saving for your doll I would think they'll come around. Try to reassure them that you still have some savings and that you understand that wanting nice things doesn't mean blowing everything you have. If you can show that you are being responsible with your finances and thinking your decisions through things will go easer. Most importantly, expect that they'll flip out and be prepared to remain calm throughout the conversation. Don't flip out and start arguing with them. Be mature. Let them have their reaction.

As for telling them in the first place. I'm not sure on that, I think you may have to approach it like taking off a band-aid. Just do it. I was showing pics and talking about dolls for months to my husband before I decided to buy one. It was never a big deal for me so I have no good advice for you!

Hope everything goes well.

 

I have no good advice on the topic except that if you think they're going to be angry, then maybe you should have waited. I'm an adult, and I work, so when I buy dolls, its with my money and my mom doesn't care so long as I pay all the bills. I tend to do my doll-buying with my taxes, so I'm not worried about a lay-away or something. My mom likes them, she holds or carries them for me when we go out and my hands are busy or I'm driving, so I don't have any parent issues. XD

 

Seems like the best route to me too. Why create a self-fulfilling prophecy? It's you're money, it's already spent, and there is nothing they can do about it. Don't mention the price if they don't ask.

If they do ask, tell them honestly. Lying always hurts in the end. Though they may freak now, imagine the freak session if they found out you lied. You can point out it's the going price, or that it's a CUSTOM, MADE TO ORDER doll (anyone who knows anything about luxury items will understand what that entails is $$$). Also, if they really freak, just say "I'm sorry I've upset you. I'm going to my room because I need to calm down and think about this" and walk away until they calm down. Keep your voice neutral and don't rise to their emotional state. One of you needs to stay calm and rational. It might as well be you.

Unconditional love usually entails not throwing you out of the house for buying a doll with YOUR money.

 

Well, my family thinks the dolls are cute too, and they dont mind having them around...
The bigger issue, however is that they still don't know the cost yet, and I am not absurd enough to tell them... haha

 

I just showed my parents one day and said I wanted one and was going to save for it.
My parents said "Your money." I told them of my plans to use birthday and Christmas money for it as well.
Once in the car my mom said she didn't think spending all that money ($400+) on a doll when I could save for a car.
I don't need a car, I don't go out much and my mom already said I'd end up driving her KIA, sooooo....
Plus I spend way more on my video games if you try and add all that money up. :I
WAYYYY MORE.

It's easy to tell them IMO.
No bombs, just stepping over a mine field with precision.

 

yeah thats the problem :P I am 21 and soon moving out but since the apartment were I will be staying in for the rest of my years of study hasn't finished building off yet (moving in with a friend) and my friend hasn't told me the adress yet I couldnt sent it to there yet so I have it send over to my parents house were I am staying now ;/ it prolly arrives around christmas so perhaps I can talk things right o-o I dont know. Thanks for the reactions I will be totally looking at all the parents boards to find out what reaction works with my parents :P and ofc stalk this board a bit ^^ oh my..

 

Uh...I understand how to talk with our parents to get a BJD..but how do we tell them we want an ANTHRO BJD???

I really want a Zuzu Delf Witch Chu..but it's so hard to tell my parents I want to buy a 19cm cat resin dolls for 273$!!
Helpp...:'C

 

My dad was pretty pissed that I was working for dolls, instead of for money. The thing he doesn't understand is simply that I can't have money coming into my bank account right now... I'm getting funding to go to school, and I don't want to use that money for dolls OR risk losing it by taking lots of money in. The only 'extra' I want right now in my life is dolls, so I figured, why not work directly for them. My mother doesn't mind at all, considering I'm not spending the money I'm getting to go to school, and I'm not working on my commissions when I'm at school, so it's all good.

 

Funny, I actually just told my mom about this hobby today. XD
I brought it up while asking about my savings account, and I didn't bring it up too smoothly because I said, "There's something I want that you might think is weird." And she sorta freaked out. XD But I then explained to her that they're collectables, and even though they're hundreds of dollars, I wouldn't just play with it like a little kid, I would use it for photography and other artistic things.
I told her I'd be paying with my own money, and she's pretty understanding, so she just gave me the, "It's your money, you're allowed to spend it however you want." She didn't even say that it was a waste, or that it was a bad idea! I was surprised. She WAS sort of acting a little weird afterward, probably because dolls sound girly to her (she hasn't seen them yet) and I'm not the girliest girl on the planet. But then again, she knows that I like anime and stuff like that, and she probably had some sort of hobby or collectable that she would have paid just as much for as a teenager. So basically, I'm really relieved. xD
My parents are divorced and live at different houses, so I'm not going to tell my dad. He's the type who WOULDN'T spend that much money on something like a BJD. Plus, I pay him for my car insurance, and he'd think I was wasting all of that to buy my doll x_X
But oh well, I'll just keep them at my mom's house.