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How do you deal with haters?

Jul 8, 2019

    1. I get comments on a daily basis, especially if I'm doing anything with them. My parents hate them (and, unfortunately, I'm stuck living with them); they will take any opportunity to mention how "creepy" they are or how "childish" it is. At one point, I had some of my smaller dolls out and, every day, my mother would make some snarky remark about them. I got sick of it and put them all back into their boxes. That's about to change.
      First of all, I'm in the process of getting a Trinity doll and I plan to put it places that will scare them. You want creepy? I'll give you creepy.
      While that is going on, I have found a comeback that I think will work to my benefit; whenever they say anything, I'm just casually going to say "Well, I was considering doing taxidermy but I figured dolls would smell better. I can sell them and start that process if you'd prefer." I doubt it'll do much more than start an argument, but it'll be amusing none the less.
      I had a "friend" who was making fun of me behind my back for my hobby. She has a fear of puppets, to which I can be sympathetic, however, once you start calling me names and making fun of something I like, you've lost all my sympathy. Hobbies don't have to make sense to anyone; some people collect stamps or figurines, others like woodcrafting and sewing. Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean it's wrong.
      I'm getting off subject...People are going to say awful things because it makes them feel better about their own miserable lives. I love this community but, as with all communities, there is elitism. Yeah, there are some dolls that I do not particularly care for and don't see the appeal in them...however, I would never tell someone their doll is ugly or cheap or whatever. It's your doll and it makes you happy. I'd be a hypocrite to make comments about someone else's doll.
       
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    2. I find that with "haters" it's really about them. It's about their own fears. If someone feels confident in herself or himself, why does she or he feel the need to attack others? I might say to a hater, "I see that this disturbs you" and let it go with that. I find that you can't argue with haters. They love to be right in their minds.
       
    3. When I was a babe in the woods of doll collecting, I had a negative experience that really affected me at the time. This was back when we had a 'serious discussion' sub-forum on here or whatever it was called. A girl had been hounding me with negative, unsolicited comments every time I posted photos. I'm not talking constructive criticism, but just meanspirited stuff. When I told her I wasn't looking for critique at the time, she posted a big discussion post on the serious discussion sub-forum about how some people can't take feedback and were too thin-skinned. I actually had replied to it in a thoughtful way before realizing this huge thread was this person talking about me. It was super hurtful. Though when I mentioned it in an edit to my reply, people were like, "Jeeze, that's what this post was about? That's silly." the damage was done and I didn't post here for a long, long while. I was younger then and working myself half to death going to college and working multiple jobs so the hobby that brought me joy suddenly became another source of stress and anxiety that I couldn't deal with.

      If I could tell the past me going through that situation anything, I would say not to let people get in the way of something you love. If they have to go out of their way to be cruel and put other people down to make themselves feel good, they are the ones that have the problem. It's not you. There will always be bitter, bratty people that think it's cool to just ruin someone else's day, unfortunately. The only thing you can control is your response to it. When people are being shady like that, I often say, "I'm sorry you're feeling that way." It helps because, at least for me, it's easier to accept they're lashing out due to their own insecurities and issues. It's not a reflection on you at all. If you need to block them, block them. It takes time to grow a thicker skin and if you're not in that place right now, that's ok. You don't have to be, but try your best not to worry about them. They, ultimately, are no one and nothing to you. Their opinions do not matter in the grand scheme of things. This has gotten a lot easier as I've gotten older. I have no problem calling people out on crappy behavior anymore so, hey, there's hope yet for that! Keep on rocking on and know you're awesome. Your hobby is awesome. The doll you love is beautiful because you put part of your heart into making it special. No one can take that away from you.
       
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